Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Let's Pretend

1. What is your middle name?

Well, according to the Social Security database, it's in the top 40 names of the last century, but it hasn't been in the top 200 list since the 1950s when it was only in the top 70 or so names. I don't think I've met anyone my age or younger with that name, but you all certainly would recognize it as a "real name" if you heard it.

2. What is your favorite color?

Blue. And I'm not really fussy about what blue: teal, baby, navy, denim... Blue.

3. What’s your lucky number?

I don't think I have one. I don't "play the numbers" as a rule so it's not much of an issue. I have some "favorite" numbers, but not because they're "lucky."
However, there are some weird coincidences in our family in terms of birthdays: lots of people born on the 27th or 25th of various months and we have a pretty good record of having kids born in years ending in 3 since 1933, except we missed 2003 because my nieces missed the program.

4. Do you have any pets?

Just our little guinea pig, Pinto.

5. Where are you from?

This pretty little planet between Mars and Venus. It's lovely. You should visit. Maybe not during hurricane season, though.

6. How tall are you?

At my tallest, I was around 1.73 meters. I've shrunk some since then though.

7. What shoe size are you?

I'm running at about 10 these days. Somehow, it feels like they just keep growing, but I think it's just that my arches keep falling more and more.

8. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Ha ha ha ha. I'm not quite Imelda-level, but my mom kind of was...it's a goal. We all need goals, right?

9. What was your last dream about?

I have had a bunch of super-weird dreams this week. Lots of traveling, packing, and cleaning. Yeah. Go nuts with all that interpretation.

10. What talents do you have?

Ugh. Right now, it seems my talent involves headaches and irritated GI tracts. Not feeling the joy today.

11. Are you psychic in any way?

I don't even know if I buy psychic powers, to be honest. Sometimes things happen that are creepily coincidental, but I don't think it's psychic.

12. Favorite song?

"Amazing Grace" either the traditional version (sung fairly straight) or Chris Tomlin's version. Though a good gospel version will rock me too.

13. Favorite movie?

Shoah.

14. Are you religious?

Yes.

15. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Of course. I was a candystriper for cryin' out loud. I spent time in hospitals from about age 2 as a visitor (very sick sister). I take Beast to the hospital again this Thursday for another nerve treatment. I spend a lot of time in hospitals. I've only been a patient IN the hospital twice though, thank God!

16. Have you ever been in trouble with the law?

I've gotten one ticket in my life. And I got pulled over last spring because my car came up as suspended, according to the cop; he was really sweet, and it was because Beast's license is suspended, not the car.

17. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not really. It's not my thing to search them out.

17. What color socks are you wearing?

I have naked feet. It's still summer in my house!

18. Have you ever been famous?

Noooo....I've been in the paper a couple of times when I was interviewed at work. I don't really think that counts, though; both times were local papers.

20. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

21. What type of music do you like?

I like almost every kind of music, especially if I understand it. Like, I don't really get Asian music but that's probably because I have no conception of how it works, what it's supposed to sound like.

22. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Just one. I have an extra for reading in bed, but it puts my neck at a weird angle for sleeping.

23. What position do you usually sleep in?

Always on my side. Would love to sleep on my stomach sometimes, but not with a CPAP on my face. The only time I ever sleep on my back is if I have an upset stomach. I know, don't ask.

24. How big is your house?

It's about 2100 sq. feet plus basement. FAR too large for two people, but it's full of cra ...er, furniture and uh, stuff, that one or the other of us refuses to get rid of: "we might need it someday."

25. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Usually a bagel with some kind of (sliced) cheese on it.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Chicago Crazy Questions

1) What was your dream growing up?

I don't remember really having "plans" or hopes for specific adult things aside from not having to answer to people (ha ha ha -- what a joke!). I do remember a couple of really weird, scary literal dreams, though.

2) What talent do you wish you had?

I wish I had more sticktuitiveness. I do think some people are innately better at seeing things through.

3) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Long Island Iced Tea. Or Stoli rocks, lime twist.

4) What was the last book you read?

The last one I finished was Atlas Obscura. If you're an armchair adventurer, I recommend it.

5) Worst Habit?

Laziness.

6) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

If I saw you, Bud, I would. However, I generally don't stop for people walking.

7) What is your favorite sport?

To watch: football. To play: uh.... bocce?

8) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

Call for help and then try not to think about whether I have to pee.

9) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

I try not to dwell on the tragedies of life. What I consider "worst" might be other people's pretty good days.

10) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I think if you read my blog, you will (or have) become abundantly aware of just how weird I am.

11) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

I would be mortified if someone showed up today. The place is a pit, a sty, and I just can't keep up. But, I'd welcome you in and clear a place for you to sit a spell.

12) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

I would LOVE to be half my weight, literally. I have now achieved double my weight in my 20s. :'(

13) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

Depends on what we're doing, but I'm more likely to be the chicken-shit overly-conscientious one.

14) Ever been arrested?

Nope. Just a couple of traffic tickets.

15) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

Pay down the mortgage.

16) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

This. And read.

17) Biggest pet peeve?

Mean, nasty people.

18) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Empathetic.

19) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?

Meh.

The past is what makes up who we are. Don't let it become your burden

(Swiped from Amy, the Source of All Goodness)

How tall are you?

171 cm or so.

Do you have a hidden talent and if so, what?

The speed at which I can alphabetize paper slips is astounding. Then there's my rapid-fire updating of OCLC records. But my best talent is sleeping, even when in a situation that would find most people with eyes uncloseable.

What is your biggest blog-related pet peeve?

I guess it's those people who think that because they can post something up on a website it endows them with the same skills as someone who has studied journalism and made a career of it. I have a specific site in mind (they call themselves "County Watchdogs" but really they're just mean-spirited gossips), but I'm not limiting myself to them. "Citizen Journalism" is unreliable at best.

What is your biggest non-blog-related pet peeve?

Meanness. Why we gotta be so bloody MEAN to each other all the time??

What’s your favorite song?

Depends on the day. Of late, "St. Teresa" (Joan Osborne) has been popping up with some regularity.

What’s your favorite Etsy shop?

I don't think I've ever bought anything from anyone on Etsy, but I follow the Tumblr of the woman who does this shop and she (and her work) cracks me up.

What’s your favorite way to spend your free time when you’re alone?

Reading, puzzling (as in Sudoku and crosswords), Facebooking. Mostly in that order.

What’s your favorite junk food?

Those damned Lofthouse iced sugar cookies.

Do you have a pet or pets?

We are down to just Pintobean the guinea pig. Unless you count the dust dinosaurs....

What are your number one favorite non-fiction and fiction books?

Overall, the Kent Haruf novels are my favorites. I mean as the story of the town of Holt. Nonfiction....hmmm, the one that's keeping my sanity the best is probably someone Al-Anon related. A lot of the stuff is inane and insipid, but there's almost always a little nugget of thought-provoking stuff to chew on.

What’s your favorite beauty product?

Burt's Bees lip balm. Not the mango, but the peppermint stuff is wonderful!

When were you last embarrassed and what happened?

I'm mortified that I've been incredibly credible. Again. Why do I believe what people tell me rather than believing the evidence my senses are screaming at me?!

If you could only drink one beverage (besides water) for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Diet Dr. Pepper.

What’s your favorite movie?

The ones that make me laugh the hardest--for obviously different reasons--are Paint Your Wagon, RHPS, and Heathers. The best one EVER is Shoah, but you best bring a truck of Kleenex, some ulcer meds, and something to chew on to keep from screaming, and do NOT watch it if at all depressed.

What were you in high school: prom queen, nerd, cheerleader, jock, valedictorian, band geek, loner, artist, prep etc.?

I was co-valedictorian--six of us were within 1/100th in GPA so they weenied out and refused to pick one (I was probably 3 or 4 out of about 300 in my class)--and a huge band-nerd-slash-brainiac.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Right now, that house on Tierra del Fuego, or in the middle of the Mojave, sounds fabulous.

PC or Mac?

PC, because I haven't use an Apple product since approximately 1987. I don't hate them, but it's just easier to use the same basic product at home and at work. This minimizes the hassle in sending files back and forth--though I think nowadays that's less of a problem. It used to be a huge hassle.

Last romantic gesture from a crush, date, boyfriend/girlfriend?

Hah! First of all, I'm married, nearly 30 years in at this point. Secondly, Beast is not exactly Mr. Romantic. However, he did surprise me with those damned sugar cookies recently. ;-)

Favorite celeb?

I don't really like "celebs." There are a lot of famous people that I like because they are doing good and admirable things: Jimmy Carter, Meredith Vieiera, Michelle Obama, even Prince Charles. I don't tend to care too much about people who are famous for being famous (I'm looking at you, Housewives and Kardashians and Survivor has-beens, et al.).

Which blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with?

I am friends with several of the bloggers I follow. One of my besties IRL and several who've crossed into Facebook-friendships. Now that is some weird shit there. If we're talking Big Famous People....Lynne Murphy from this blog is my idol. Funny and smart, and clever, and real.

Friday 5

(Link in meme-roll)
Know-How

1. What’s something you know how to do beneath the hood of a car?

   I can check the oil, check the belts, jump a battery, and fill the washer fluid thingy. Generally, if something's not right I'll be able to spot it, but it's unlikely I could fix it.

2. What’s something you know how to fold a piece of paper into?

   I've made two (different) foxes this week, on order, for a friend who asked for them for her husband for Christmas. I enjoy origami, without pressure, as a tension release at work.

3. What’s something you know how to do in the outdoors?

   I can build a fire given matches, kindling and firewood. I can do basic gardening, which includes telling the difference between weeds and not-weeds. And I can shovel snow, though not much and not for long.

4. What’s something you know how to do with a length of rope?

   "I can make a hat, or a brooch, or a pterodactyl." Mostly, I'm just good at winding it up into a bundle and tying it off.

5. What’s something you know how to do with a deck of cards?

   I can shuffle like the pros, regular and backwards. I know a couple of very simple card tricks, and a whole lot of different versions of solitaire.

when a true genius appears in the world...

(Stolen from Amy)

What would be your biggest achievement to date?

It's not job-related, though I've done well there, for sure. I would say the big achievements of my life have been extremely personal: raising a child to adulthood who shows promise of being a Very Good Person, staying married for 29 years through a fair number of bumps and stumbles, maintaining my faith, discovering that I'm OK and Good Enough.

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Baths. I love a good soak with a good book and bubbles.

Are you a good liar?

I was always amazed as a child at the bald-faced lies my mom (seemed to) believe. Later, I have wondered if she was content to let me stew in my guilt and bad judgment. I've certainly done that with Sparky at times. As an adult, I lie -- white lies, mostly -- almost daily: answers to questions such as "How do I look?" and "Aren't you glad to see me?" and my most common response "It's great to see you!"

Are you a good judge of character?

Eventually. Sometimes I try to hard too see the good side of things when I really should just let the situation be what it actually is.

Are you any good at charades?

I think so, but this is really more of a function of how well your teammates know you, or rather, how well you connect with them. I also haven't played charades in many decades.

How long could you go without talking?

Seeing as how I regularly talk to myself, not long. How long could I go without speaking to another person? DAAAAAYYYYSSSS (and it sounds like heaven!).

Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair?

I didn't win it; Beast did. I'm pretty sure all those prizes have been relegated to the garbage long since.

Why does it always rain on me?

Because you're too stupid (or pathetic) to remember to bring your umbrella.

Why doesn't it ever seem to rain on me?

And we have achieved some level of incompatibility here....

Have you ever sailed a boat?

I've been on probably 10 boats total in my entire life, ranging from rowboat to large lake-vessel. I'm not a fan of being out in the middle of big water because of the whole (not) swimming thing. Big boats I'm ok with. I white-knuckle the rowboat and canoe options.

Do you have a lawyer?

Do I need one? What have you heard?!
I have one very good friend who is a (non-practicing) attorney, I work with a woman whose husband is a good criminal attorney, and I know a couple of other attorneys who mostly practice family law and do wills and that sort of thing. One works for the nearest Judicial District. So, I think actually I'm set, should I need legal advice.

Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday?

As a rule, when you become a parent and take trips without the child(ren), it's a good idea to bring back something for your offspring. So in that respect, yes. I also try to bring something back to snack on for people at work. And if I see stuff for my friends, I'll snag it too. But I'm not always on the lookout, I fear.

Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight?

Only to shift it to somewhere I don't have to deal with it. My go-to when people start posturing is, "Don't get blood on the carpet! If you're going to fight, take it outside." And that's if I'm in a position of authority at work or somewhere. If I'm out in public, I would be most likely to call 911 on adults or older teens, and maybe start hollering at kids. I stay completely out of anything involving an animal fighting. Always.

Have you ever been in a fight?

Have you met my family?! We have been known to fight over the stupidest things, verbally. There's not a lot of hitting, though. The last time I hauled off and smacked someone was 12 years ago when Sparky did something asshatted and I spanked him, which was also the ONLY time I spanked him. It hurt my hands and wrists, so yeah. I've been in one fight per se on the playground in 5th (?) grade with Jeri J.

Have you ever started a rumour?

I don't think I've done it intentionally or maliciously, but I'm sure I have been involved in untoward speculation that has gotten out of hand. I'm not proud of that.

Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself?

No. I kind of wish I would. As far as I know for sure, no one talks about me. Which, in all seriousness, is probably just fine.

Do you own a paddling pool?

I don't even know WTF this is!

What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them?

Writing, organizing, copy-editing, teaching.

More from The Gerb

(Swiped from Amy)

Do you like TV talent shows?

Only in small servings when showing actual talent. In other words, I watch the good bits on YouTube that other people have culled out of the hours of crap.

How many hats do you own?

I own about a dozen, probably. Beast has me by a factor of 40-50. We have so-bloody-many hats....

Are you any good at pool?

Not really. I haven't played in eons, even though we have a good table in our basement. From my standpoint, it is useful primarily for folding laundry and hiding under during violent weather.

What's your favourite accent?

Italian. And West African.

In O's and X's, which do you normally pick?

I like X better than O. Deep-seated, childhood fear of circles.

Do you prefer blue or black inked pens?

I prefer the look of black ink. But really, either is fine, and I would rather use a pencil for most things.

Do you have popcorn with a movie?

We usually buy a bucket when we go see a movie at a theater, yes.

Do you have a piggy bank?

Yes. She's about 2 feet tall and hand-painted by Ellen. That is where all my foreign currency lives. I probably have collectible coins in there at this point: marks, rubles, pounds, etc.

What's the fastest you've ever travelled in a car?

I have a terrifying and shameful memory of going close to 100 in traffic in a car with friends on our way to ...something. We did a 30-minute drive in about 10 minutes. And endangered a good number of other people in the process.

Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same gender?

I have, perhaps, but am generally so very clueless about this sort of thing that it didn't become obvious until much later.

Have you ever flown first class?

Yes. Twice, both longish flights. I would do it overseas in a heartbeat. The mere thought of being in economy for a trip to, for instance, Australia, makes my skin crawl.

Who would you say are more attractive, English or Europeans?

Again, I have to remind Americans that the English don't see themselves as 'actual' Europeans, regardless of the fact that their island is part of the general continental area we all have decided to call Europe. To answer the question, the British people in general--as a race--are not all that attractive. I prefer ... other Europeans when it comes to looks.

How long has your longest ever phone call been?

Several hours, probably close to 4. This was well over 15 years ago. I haven't been on the phone for more than an hour in forever--unless we count telecons/webinars. I just don't like talking on the phone. Not my thing--maybe it's genetic? My sister hated the phone too.

Stolen Survey

(Swiped from Amy)

Do you like your music loud or mellow?

Depends on the music. Loud music should be loud; quiet music should be quiet.

What's your favourite animated or cartoon program?

I don't really watch cartoons. So probably Looney Toons. I did like the Roadrunner cartoons and Mighty Mouse as a child.

Do you sing in the shower?

I don't really understand this concept. So, no.

Are you a clean or messy person?

Clean. I don't like bugs. Which doesn't mean I am tidy, of course.

What's your preferred playing piece in Monopoly?

I like the little dog.

Can or do you still play Twister?

Since the whole point of Twister, as far as I'm concerned, is falling down, I probably excel more now than previously.

Can you play chess?

I haven't play often, and I'd need a cheat-sheet, but yeah, I can.

Do you know the dance steps to an annoying cheesy pop song?

I could probably Macarena if pressed. And bunny hop. And conga. I used to know how to Hustle, too.

Do you prefer straight or bendy straws?

Depends. I mostly have straight straws, but when I'm feeling crappy and not sitting up straight, bendy straws rock!

Have you ever entered a talent contest? and did you win?

I was in one in junior high. And no.

Do you like poetry?

Yes.

Are you a bad loser?

I can be a terribly bad sport in some games, mostly games that involve pure luck. I had a HUGE temper tantrum during Payday several years ago, in front of Sparky--so embarrassing, and an epic Bad Parenting moment. Also, it makes me absolutely nuts when people screw around and/or flout the rules.

Which would you choose: jelly or ice cream?

By "jelly" I'm assuming "Jello," and definitely ice cream.

What's your favourite type of pie?

Fruit wins, but honestly, I'm not overly fussy. I don't like rhubarb though, not at all!

What's your most used phrase?

"I forgot..."

What's your most used word?

"Really?" "Actually." I think it's a tie.

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

I should be so lucky, but Sandra Bullock or Julia Roberts. These days though, I would love to see what Melissa McCartney could do with me.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
90, part 2

30. Do you read your horoscope?

Not unless it's sitting there in front of me.

31. Where was the last place you bought something?

I went grocery shopping yesterday and then stopped for breakfast at BK.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?

It's a bit wind-blown and probably a little trashed, but overall I have few hair issues.

33. Do you bite your nails?

Yup, more's the pity.

34. Do you have any expensive jewelry?

I do. Not outrageously expensive, but two rings with gems, a couple of fancy necklaces and several pairs of gemstone earrings. I think there's a squash-blossom set similar to this somewhere too; that was my mother-in-law's and I haven't worn it yet. If I lived about 900 miles west and south, I'd be tempted to wear it every damn day though.

35. Have you ever been told you speak fast?

Yes. I speak about twice the speed I grew up speaking. People east of the Mississippi and north of about the 40-degree latitude line talk fuckingfast!

36. Is your laugh usually hearty?

Not 'usually' but occasionally it's loud, yes.

37. How fast have you driven a car?

I've hit 90 while passing people. It's not just talking people do fast around here.

38. Have you ever smoked?

Only while angry, from the ears.

39. What was your favorite subject in school?

I did well in most subjects, but preferred English and History.

40. Do you have cell phone provider loyalty?

Not really. We use Sprint now, and it's been fine. Inertia tends to rule in this area.

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?

I don't really have a type, unless we're talking about the under-5-years-old set. Then, a cute grin and a giggle melts my heart.

42. Do you have any hidden talents?

They're pretty well hidden from me as well. I can alphabetize at warp speed; does that count?

43. Favorite song?

We sang part of "Amazing Grace" at church today. I love that song.

44. Do you like to sing at all?

Yes, I do. I don't necessarily sound great, but I do like singing.

45. Dream job?

What I do now, only doing it at home without the annoying people.

46. Where does most of your family live?

I have family at the following latitudes/longitudes: 52°N/1°W, 51°N/2°W, 40°N/3°W, 40°N/73°W, 36°N/82°W, 41°N/88°W, 42°N/87°W, 43°N/88°W, 32°N/96°W, 32°N/97°W, and 38°N/107°W. There is no "most"--the most at any of those locations is 4, and the least is 1.

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?

My parents raised 5 kids to adulthood. Three of us are still hanging on.

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?

I am very spoiled.

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?

Today? "Mmmph, snooze alarm" probably sums it up.

50. Do you drink?

Of course, or I'd be dead. I have an occasional glass of wine, and I love me some Stoli, but I rarely have it anymore.

51. Know any other languages?

I can make do in Spanish, and I can read several other European languages, kinda.

52. Ever write a coded message?

When I was about 10, yes. Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking in code all the time, or maybe just a completely different language from what those around me are capable of understanding.

53. Have you ever been in someone else's wedding?

Yes. Quite a few times, actually.

54. Do you have any children?

I have one.

55. Did you take a nap today?

I predict there may be a short one in my future today.

56. Who has the same birthday as you?

Two high school friends were born on the same day as me in the same hospital. As for famous people, Wikipedia says I share date and year with an American actor and singer, an American journalist, blogger, and activist, and a Japanese actor, none of whom I've ever heard of. One of the Bay City Rollers was born on my birthday; I never knew that! Thank you, Wikipedia.

57. Ever met anyone famous before?

I met Stephen T0b0l0wski briefly once.

58. Do you want to be famous one day?

HELL no.

59. Any pet peeves?

Soooo many!! lol Trying to pare them down, but I have to say that intentional, cultivated stupidity is probably the biggest one overall.

60. Are you multitasking right now?

Well, sort of: Beast is flipping back and forth between the U.S. Open (golf) and the Michigan 400 (NASCAR) but I'm not paying a lot of attention to that. They're both serving to put me to sleep. See #55.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Fast Dozen Meme

1. What is the last book that you passed on to someone else to read?

   I haven't done this in a very long time. I've found that beloved books aren't universally beloved.

2. The one song you secretly or not so secretly want to sing at karaoke?

   Something really easy, that's for sure! Mostly because I secretly (or not) have zero interest in karaoke.

3. If you had to pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

   Jo. I'd probably stick with my dad's last name. I find it amusing.

4. What do you wish your administrator or boss would notice?

   How hard I'm working to NOT SCREAM AT certain people who ANNOY THE CRAP out of me at work.

5. What is your biggest pet peeve?

   Intentional and planned-out stupidity.

6. What holds you back in pursuing your biggest dream?

   Laziness.

7. Why do you think you are a lovable person?

   Hmm. Well, I don't stink, I don't snore (much, loudly), I can cook, I'm generally agreeable. What's not to love?

8. If every day had an extra hour in it, what would you do with it?

   Sleep.

9. The last song you turned up in your car or house was?

   I haven't listened to any music in the care lately. I did have the radio on yesterday while I filed paperwork but I honestly don't remember one single song.

10. What is a secret talent you may have?

    I'm really good at proofreading OTHER people's stuff. I can't find my own errors, but yours will be a piece of cake!

11. Your favorite thing to do outside when it's not too cold out in the winter?

    Stand in the sun and absorb Vitamin D.

12. How do you respond if someone asks you an inappropriate or nosy question?

    "Really?" Or I just laugh. You wouldn't believe how often I get asked weird things at work. Everything from "When are you due?" (uh, not pregnant) to "Are you sure you never worked in [nearby suburb]?" (yes, pretty sure I'd know if I had) to "How much do you make?" (public record, but you have to do the legwork).

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The 99'er Meme: Part 1

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.

I don't use iTunes, but I'll give you the last six and the next six tunes on Jango.
Last six:

1. I Want Candy (Bow Wow Wow)
2. Zarartou (Cheb Mami)
3. Mr. President (LL Cool J)
4. Our Time Now (Plain White T's)
5. Over My Head (The Summer Obsession)
6. Shake It (Metro Station)

Next six:

1. Wire (U2)
2. Sitting on a Fence (The Housemartins)
3. More Than This (Live) (Roxy Music)
4. Castanets (Alejandro Escovedo)
5. Chances Are (Sheryl Crow)
6. What Are You Doing The Rest Of Your Life (Alison Moyet)

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I would love to meet Nelson Mandela.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

"[believ-]ing our encounter with the Divine to be the definitive one. In..." from The Evolution of Faith (Phillip Gulley), one of the six books equidistant from me.

4) What do you think about most?

I try hard not to think about much.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

"Hmmmmm. Calzone please." from Beast about 3 hours ago.

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

I can't sleep naked, unless I'm really hot or really sick.

7) What's your strangest talent?

Alphabetizing at warp speed? Or, while waiting for a cop to show up, walking by a sign and noting that the handwritten part says "Welome" instead of "Welcome."

8) Women.... (finish the sentence); Men.... (finish the sentence)

Women need to man up; men need to turn down the macho.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yes. Embarrassing. I have made it a practice never to date or hang around poets or lyricists since then.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I've hired that out: Sparky takes care of that for me. So, yeah, about ten years. ;-)

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I'm said this a million times: all my fears make perfect sense. To me.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

I don't think so. Except Kleenex. And a nasopharyngeal tube...well, a doctor did that... medications.... yeah, nothing that shouldn't have gone there, for sure.

13) What's your religion?

I'm an ordained elder in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. Impressed? Don't be. Not for that. In all seriousness, I like PCUSA polity because it makes more sense than other options in running life inside a church.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Walking to or from my car. This time of year, it will be done as quickly as safely possible.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

BE. HIND.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

U2.

17) What was the last lie you told?

I can't think of one. Maybe that I "had" to bug outta church before the service ended this morning. I could've probably stayed and helped put the bells away, etc., but I was worried about Beast and about getting to work on time.

18) Do you believe in karma?

Not. As. Such. If you go over to the right-hand column and search for "believe karma" you can see how I've answered this question a kabillion other times.

19) What does your URL mean?

Really? You must ask this? How long have you been using the internet?

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Greatest weakness: I tend toward a short fuse and not suffering fools gladly. Greatest strength: I laugh inappropriately. For instance, today I was called "the b-word" and "rude-ass" and nearly cracked up at the absurdity of an adult saying "the b-word" instead of just saying "bitch" and the fact that this guy was so far past rude on the Rudeness Scale but calling ME rude-ass.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Still crushing on William Petersen. And George Eads.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope. Can't swim, so I don't even go non-skinny-dipping.

23) How do you vent your anger?

There is yelling, there is crying, there is blood rushing to my face (and if things are really bad, rushing OUT of my face), I see red.... Honestly, all of these things will happen given enough provocation, but not necessarily in the order listed.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

S&Ps. And dust.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Talking on the phone without video. Sparky moves around too much for me to be really comfortable Skyping with him; it causes motion-sickness if I watch him too closely.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Ready or Not

1. When severe whether [sic] happens, generally speaking, are you ready for it?

Yup. Much as you can be ready for tornadoes, wind, snow, ice...etc.

2. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new talent, what would it be?

Keeping my damn mouth shut!

3. What do you strive for in life?

Calm.

4. If you were given a vacation home and you could have it anywhere, what location would you choose?

Colorado, preferably in the San Juans or at least the southwestern corner.

5. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend?

Mostly, I feel energized, if people are generally positive. Negative people drain me.

6. When you're sick do you take "sick days" or do you force yourself to continue working?

I call in; no point in getting everyone else sick too.

7. What is your absolute favorite piece of furniture you have and why?

I really love our kitchen table; it's a tangible reminder of my dad.

8. When you go out, where do you like to go? What do you like to do?

When I go out, I go to the store, I go to work, I go to the mailbox, I go to church. So, yeah, sometimes I like doing it, sometimes I don't.

9. How's life? Is it treating you well right now?

Could be worse, but wow could it be better too!

Sunday Stealing (a day late)

(Link in meme-roll)
The Dwight Twilley Meme

1. The latest book or movie that made you cry?

I can't think of any. The book I'm listening to is kinda creepy, but not sad. Haven't seen any sad movies either.

2. The fictional character most like you?

I always wanted to be like Laura Ingalls--it's possible I am to a minor degree. I don't know otherwise. I find myself staring out of the occasional mystery novel as someone the P.I. is interviewing.

3. The greatest album, ever?

Oh, I dunno. I like Joan Osborne's first album. But best of all time? I don't think any one person can decide that for all of us. I suppose most people would say Sgt. Pepper is in the top 10 or so, but it's pretty subjective.

4. Star Trek or Star Wars? Why?

Trek. I'm so freakin' tired of all things Star Wars.

5. Your ideal brain food?

A good night's sleep and plenty of caffeine.

6. Everyone is proud of a certain accomplishment, which one for you??

I'm going to go with having a clean criminal record. I think I watch too much TV and read too many crime novels. Right now, I'm sort of feeling like it's easier to grow a third arm than it is to stay off the radar of the average police force.

7. You want to be remembered for ...?

...being a decent person who could tell a good joke well, and whose house was rarely spotless.

8. Let's talk about recording artists. Who do you find the most inspirational?

Generally U2. How they have managed to stay together (in all senses of that word) for 30 years without any public intra-band drama or paparazzi fodder.

9. The creative masterpiece you wish bore your signature?

I would love to be able to paint or draw. Anything. Well, anything representational.

10. Your hidden talents . . .?

Procrastination, memorization of birthdates, avoiding work in any form, obsessing over random details, and making Thanksgiving dinner.

11. The best piece of advice you actually followed?

"Don't pick up snakes."  I try, anyway. Fewer snakes, at least.

12. The best thing you ever bought, stole, or borrowed?

This house.

13. What is the most comfortable clothes that you wear?

My pajamas, the ones with the green snowmen. I need to replace them, but it's hard to find good ones like these.

14. Your dinner guest at the Ritz would be?

Either Beast or I'd give up my seat and let two homeless people eat for free.

15. Time travel: where, when and why?

Near Norwood, Colorado, 1921, best not to share more details.

16. Stress management: hit man, spa vacation, or Prozac?

Already involved with two of those, basically, and the other option isn't in line with my answer to #6, so I'll go with choice 4: Stoli.

17. Essential to life: coffee, vodka, cigarettes, chocolate, or . . .?

Hugs.

18. Environment of choice: city or country, and where on the map?

Almost-country, but near a decent-sized city. Pretty much where I am now, though warmer would be nice.

19. What do you want to say to the leader of your country?

"STAY THE COURSE!"

20. Last but certainly not least, what are you working on, now?

Getting the tree decorated is on my list. It's up, and lit, but doesn't have any ornaments on it. And I need to find room for all the rest of the crap we have. Shit, just realized that today was my shopping day for Friday night's White Elephant party. I may have to part with my least memory-imbued and most hideous Christmas decoration.

Thursday Thunks

(Link in blogroll)
Much to Do About Nothing

1. What the hell were you thinking?

Clearly, I wasn't. Perhaps I should just leave, eh?

2. The tornado sirens go off in your neighborhood - what do you do?

Send everyone downstairs, grab the weather radio and a flashlight and join the party under the pool table.

3. Give us a recipe.

Dissolve 1 T. yeast in 1.5 cups warm water. Add 1/2 tsp. sugar and let sit for a few minutes while measuring 2 cups of unbleached flour into a large bowl. Add water to flour, mix together. Add 1/2 tsp. salt and another cup of flour and continue mixing until dough is too thick to stir. Scrape out onto floured counter and knead for 10 minutes, adding up to 2.5 more cups of flour, until dough is springy. Let sit on counter while washing and drying bowl and oiling the inside. Move dough to oiled bowl, cover with cloth and set in warm place for a couple of hours until doubled in size. When it has doubled, punch down and then let rest while oiling two bread pans. Divide dough in half and place each half in a bread pan, covering again with cloth. Let rise again till they are about 1 inch above edge of pan. Preheat oven to 400 degrees, put pans in oven and bake for 40 minutes or until golden brown. Let rest 10 minutes after removing from oven and then turn out onto racks to cool.

From memory, so please forgive errors.

4. It's the middle of the night, there isn't a car in sight and you are stuck at a red light that just won't change.... how long do you wait until you run it?

Two minutes if it's local. Five if it's in an area in which I'm not familiar.

5. When was the last time you got all dressed up fancy-like? Where did you go?

Probably last summer at my mother-in-law's funeral. I can't remember if I've worn a dress since then at all.

6. Have you ever had a mole removed?

Nope. Not yet, anyway.

7. Are you in an area of record highs or record lows for the temps this summer? Are you lucky and stuck in the middle where it's somewhat normal?

It has been really chilly this year. I don't think we've set any records, but it just hasn't been warm.

8. When was the last time you changed your furnace filter?

We have an electrostatic filter, which rinses in the laundry sink and is replaced. Beast tries to do it monthly but I don't know when the last time was.

9. What's your favorite type of frog?

Young ones. They make me giggle when they take over our driveway.

10. If you were to go on America's Got Talent, what would you do for your talent? (and choosing not to go is not an option....)

I'd alphabetize cards. Very fast.

11. Have you ever been on a rooftop of a building?

{snort} Yeah, a few times. My dad was in construction.

12. What is the first website you go to each day when you sit down at your computer, other than your email?

Facebook. I always have three tabs open, at least: Fb, Bloglines, and Gmail are the big guns.

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Saturday 6

1. Have you ever been asked to speak in front of an audience? If so, what was the occasion and how do you feel you did?

Yes. I've spoken at church innumerable times, in front of kids and the whole congregation, I teach the occasional class at the library, and I've spoken to a small group at a conference. As long as I have a script, I'm good to go, although extemporaneous spouting is not unknown either. Generally, I do fine, and am doing better as time passes since I am getting better at suppressing emotion in the midst of speaking.

2. If you were asked to appear on David Letterman’s show, do you have a "Stupid Human Trick" you could perform?

Sure. Don't we all? I can stack up to 2 to 3 feet of books of varying shapes on my left hand and arm and carry them around the library as I shelve them. Thankfully, this would bore a national audience, and Dave, so I'm in no danger of having to appear on TV. For which I'm grateful. I'm not a fan of these shows (anymore).

3. If you were asked to be in a circus, would you be more comfortable as a clown, a trapeze artist, a tightrope walker, a juggler, an animal trainer, or the ringmaster?

Ringmaster. I'm not coordinated or physically talented enough for any of the others.

4. Take the quiz: What Circus Act Should You Perform?

When I did this I was supposed to walk on stilts. Hah. Not bloody likely.

5. How old were you the first time you visited a circus? How did you like it?

I think I was 6 or 7, and all I remember is the guy sitting next to us who smoked Marlboros and a very odd right ear.

6. How often would you describe your real job as a "circus"? Do you think it seems to be getting more or less like a circus?

It has it's circus-like moments, but mostly (at its worst) it's closer to a girl's bathroom in junior high school.

Saturday 9

(Link in blogroll)
Dreaming of You

1. What did you dream about last night?

I have no idea. The times I was asleep, I was out hard. I was awake for about 3 hours with a killer stomachache, though, and there were some pretty wackadoodle things going through my head then! In general, I spent a lot of time over the past 10 hours trying to figure out if I could go to work today. Final answer: No.

2. Do you often have nightmares?

Thankfully, no.

3. Do you have any special talents?

Yes. Most of them involve clerical tasks.

4. Who is the most talent[ed] person that you know?

Talented how? Everyone I know is talented somehow. People do tend to impress me with their skills, even those that I think are negative. Frank is the stinkiest person I can imagine existing, for instance.

5. What did you watch on TV last?

Beast turned on the Weather Channel for a few minutes this morning. Apparently, we can't look out the winter window (oh boy, so much for clerical skills!) and see "clear and cold."

6. Is there a new TV show that you would recommend?

Nope, can't help you here. I'm usually the last to check these things out. I still haven't watched a single episode of Grey's Anatomy, for instance.

7. Who was the last person you phoned and why?

I called my boss at about 8 to let her know I am not Safe For Work today.

8. Who was the last person who phoned you and why?

Beast called last night from Mexico City to let us know his flight was on time, etc.

9. What was the last snail mail letter that you received?

Probably the birthday cards from family.

Monday Memepile

(All of the following memes can be found in the blogroll, to the left)

Monday's a Bitch
Crackin' Up

1. What's your favourite brand of cracker?

Wheat Thins.

2. Do you like crackers in your soup?

When I was a kid, we always had to have soda crackers in soup. We don't even HAVE soda crackers in the house, and I almost never put them into restaurant soup, unless it's deadly-boring-tasting without them.

3. What's the best kind of cheese to put on a cracker? Or do you have a different favourite cracker topper?

I'm in a phase of Merkt's Swiss Almost cheese. But anything cheesy will do. I love cheese. We may not have Saltines in the house, but we definitely have cheese!! Cheddar, Swiss, Wensleydale, Leicester, Gouda, mozz, you name it....

4. Have you ever set off firecrackers? For what occasion?

I'm not a fan of fireworks. Too many gory stories of people blowing their fingers off, I guess. I like the big shows, but even then, I'm always ready to take off running or call 911 in case of a misfire.

5. Have you ever seen The Nutcracker ballet?

Not all the way through in one sitting. I have seen The Firebird Suite, which I loved, but also found really hard to understand. Not exactly boring, but well toward that end of things. I'm uneducated. However, I love Baryshnikov and Nureyev, so go figure.... ;-)

---

Manic Monday

Who is the black sheep in your family/group?

In my family, it has always been my brother, although it's entirely possible that at this point I've been added to the "Hopeless" list. At work, it's CT.

If you were a character from a book, what character would you be?

Can I PLEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZE be Laura Ingalls?? Otherwise, I'll settle (ahem) for Kinsey Millhone.

What's your favorite accent?

Italian. And Russian. I don't know why.
My least favorite: New Jersey, extremely nasal Midwest (sorry, peeps), and French.

---

1) If you could have participated in any political march (protest or support or other), which one would you have chosen.

I don't do big crowds; they really terrify me. I wish I could honestly say I would have participated in any of the various marches on Washington, but I wouldn't have. I would love to have heard King speak in the 60s, though.

2) Talent show tonight!! Give us a preview of your act.

The way I feel right now, it will consist of me sleeping on stage. Otherwise, I guess I could show y'all how fast I type.

3) What architectural wonder would you like to be in charge of, or own?

It would be awfully cool to work in the Library of Congress, or in the Winter Palace (St. Petersburg). Frankly, I'd love to work somewhere in the Vatican, too, but that's clearly not happening. I wouldn't want to own any 'edifice' though--upkeep is a bitch!

4) What is the hardest test you've ever taken?

I keep flunking parenting tests. Another failure this morning.
Academic tests: the History GRE. Lowest score I ever received on ANYthing, ever.

5) Show and Tell. What comes to mind first when you see this picture? Or, tell a story if it reminds you of one. Public Domain Photo

I like the 'messiness' of the rockets compared to the clean lines of the architecture and light around it. The whole photo screams 1960s to me--Star Trek, boxy buildings, the whole schmear. I think I've seen this in real life...?

I wish we were still sending rockets into space, not just the shuttle. The moonshots were very cool, very positive-thinking, very America-patriotic-woo-hoo, and very "someday I could do that." I guess kids today dream about the shuttle, but the Apollo program just seemed way cooler for some reason. Kind of the difference between Conestoga wagons across the West in 1850 vs. a cross-country railroad trip in 1870. Both cool, but the wagons seem so much MORE cool to me.

Manic Monday

(Link in blogroll)

Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex?

I think everyone has a heavy load to carry, and everyone's is different. I can't really understand some of the difficulties that men have simply because I don't have them, however I can see them in my male relatives. I understand more about what women go through of course, but I don't know if that means women have it worse or not. I remember thinking once, very briefly, as a child that I'd rather be a boy. It had to do with needing my hair washed and the reason I was so dirty (from playing in dirt, DUH!).

What books from your childhood would you like to share with your children?

I have read most of the Laura books to Sparky when he was MUCH younger. He has all the Dr. Seuss books--we read through those endlessly. We also read all the Narnia books together. He never got into the Hardy Boys or Nancy Drew, but he was in love with Encyclopedia Brown mysteries for a long time. There are so many good new books being written, though, that I haven't pushed old stuff on him too much.

What is one talent or skill you don't possess but always wanted?

Dancing. I'd've loved dance lessons as a kid.

Five on FridaySaturday

(Link at left)
You've Got Talent

1. What do you consider to be your strongest talent?

Feeling sorry for myself? Being cranky? Making (usually incorrect) assumptions? Giving everyone the benefit of the doubt way too many times? (I'm getting better at this) ...

I'm going to go with trying to calm stormy emotional waters.

2. Do you have any other talents that you're particularly fond of?

I'm good at planning projects (I don't always carry through on doing them, but I plan good!). I can keep track of four conversations at once. I like a good joke, as long as it's not mean (i.e., Sarah Silverman does not make me laugh). I can carry a tune without too big of a bucket, most days. I'm not stupid, though at times that's debatable.

3. Describe one talent you wish you possessed?

The ability to shrug of worry.

4. How do you display or make use of your talents?

Huh? I use them as necessary. I think it's too early on a Saturday to follow this. At this stage of my life, I don't feel as if I do a lot of displaying of my talents. I'm mostly just trying to get through the days.

5. What do you think drives so many people to watch and/or participate in talent shows and competitions?

Narcissism? A deep need for applause? Emotional immaturity? And even occasionally the real NEED to show people that they're GOOD, but that's pretty rare, in my experience.