Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Self Esteem

1. How was your self esteem growing up?

In the toilet. I was never, ever good enough, even though I knew I was loved.

2. Do you ever have a hard time with morals?

Not in general. However, there's a LOT of gray areas, way more than I like to deal with.

3. Do you eat in bed? If yes, what?

Sure. Crackers. ;-) [I actually do, albeit infrequently.] Oh, and cough drops when I'm sick.

4. What was the last movie you hated and why?

I have come to strongly dislike the Star Wars movies.

5. Have you ever felt that you lost it all? If yes, explain.

I haven't ever actually lost everything, but there have been many times when the fear that I had fucked up so badly as to lose it all has been overwhelming.

6. Have you ever been stalked?

Not to my knowledge. Which means I haven't been, or I have been, but by someone extremely GOOD at stalking!

7. Do you believe in 'self help' for problems, or do you prefer therapy?

As if therapy means you don't do any work yourself? Uhm, yeah, NO! I start with looking for my own solutions and when (if) that doesn't work, I'll go talk to someone. I'm not averse to it, for sure.

8. What celebrity do you think should make a run for office?

None . Of . Them. Perish the thought!

9. Do you believe in happy endings? (We do. That why this is the last question!)

Happy endings are ones you make yourself. My happy ending might not be yours, but if it works for me, who are you to complain, right?

Monday Mayhem

(Link in meme-roll)
Just Another Random Monday

1. What is your favorite day of the week?

Monday. I know, I'm strange.

2. What kind of restrictions should there be on wearing Speedo swimsuits?

It would be great if all men wearing Speedos fit the actuarial tables for height/weight. But really, they are VERY common in Europe. You almost never see baggy suits or board shorts there, regardless of the condition of the body in the suit. One can always look at the sky instead of the scary people. ;-)

3. You know how there are the so called "fashion police"? What kind of police would you like to be part of and why?

I've never met any actual fashion police, thank God; maybe I am too illegal to even bother with. I am, however, a registered member of the Shhh Corps.

4. What is you best comeback for a totally self-absorbed narcissistic individual?

Walk away. The less attention they get from me (and everyone else), the better the situation. How do I know? Because I got mixed up with a narcissist about 13 years ago and it was a nightmare.

5. Have you seen any good movies this summer? Which one(s)?

Nope, so...wevs.

6. What restaurant meal should we stay far away from?

I dunno about you. I should stay away from lobster; it always makes me sick. Which is a real drag, no?

7. What brand of toilet paper do you highly recommend?

We use Charmin, the red kind usually. YMMV.

Wednesday Weirdness Wickedness

(Link in meme-roll)
Each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes. Got it? Great! Let's begin this week's meme! Today we picked Brad Pitt.

1. "I've got a hard time with morals. All I know is what feels right, what's more important to me is being honest about who you are. Morals I get a little hung up on.” Do you ever have a hard time with morals?

This is sorta incoherent but I think I generally agree with the sense of what he's saying. Imposed morality is a problem for me. Clearly, my teachers practiced a lot of Values Clarification lessons on my schoolmates and me.

2. “Being married means I can [break wind] and eat ice cream in bed.” Do you eat in bed? If yes, what?

Well, not ice cream! I'll occasionally have a few crackers or cookies, but not under the covers. ["Break wind"? Seriously, "fart" is not a swear word.]

3. “I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said 'we saw your movie'. 'Which one?' I said. He shouted 'Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn't like?” What was the last movie you hated and why?

I was not in love with "Wayne's World", which Sparky watched over the weekend. In the theater, I can't think of anything, not since "Snow Dogs."

4. “We made a plan at school to meet in her garage and kiss. It was like this little business deal. I kissed her and then I ran home.” Did you make 'a plan' the first time you made love or did it just happen?

lol . Right. Moving on.... [You won't say "fart" but you escalate a quote about kissing to sex?]

5. “You must lose everything in order to gain anything.” Have you ever felt that you lost it all? If yes, explain.

I have indeed felt like the world had fallen completely away from me, right after my sister and then my dad died. It has taken years to bounce back from that.

6. “We did a little training in the beginning, ... But again, these guys aren't supposed to be skilled fighters.” When were you last time that you were in a fight (physical or not)?

I haven't had a physical fight in over 30 years. The last argument I was in--full-on arguing on both sides--was about a month ago. Haven't really had time for that sort of thing this month.

7. “My week consists ... five days out of the seven I've got at least three cars of paparazzi on me that I've got to either lose or whatever.” Have you ever been stalked?

Nope. Not that I'm aware of. Thank God.

8. “I mean, that's the modified self-help version of the psychology, I guess.” Do you believe in 'self help' for problems, or do you prefer therapy?

I tend to be cheap, but I have gone the therapy route a couple of times. Sometimes it just helps to get external input when the voices in my head are all boring the shit out of me and making me nuts. [I don't really understand what Brad is talking about here, to be honest. "Modified self-help version of the psychology" of what?]

9. “Fame is a bitch, man.” Do you agree that fame is lousy or would you love to give it a try? Why?

First of all, no one is forcing you to continue being famous, dude. Yes, I feel for you, but really...you wanted this. I would never in a million years want to be in his shoes because I agree that being famous is the pits. (yes, I did go there!)

10. “I have always been somebody that really wants to be married. And I don't know if that's just so I can do it differently than my parents did and prove marriage does work.” Do you believe in forever, as in 'love forever'?

I believe in marriage forever, if that's really what we're getting at here. However, I do NOT believe that every marriage should last forever. I mean, face it: there are long-term people and short-term people in everyone's life. The trick is to marry one of the long-term people, one that you don't mind having sex with for 50+ years. ;-)

Inkblot

You Are Driven and Focused

You view people with optimism. You have many meaningful relationships in your life. You had more conflict with your father than your mother. Your relationship with him was healthy but challenging. You deal with stress in a fairly normal way. Stress presents a struggle for you, but you're usually able to neutralize your emotions. You are the type of person who knows how to get a lot done. However, sometimes you can't help but get overwhelmed by life.

The Inkblot Test

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

More conflict with DAD?! Feh--not even CLOSE! And that calls the whole result into question, really.

Monday's a Bitch

(Link in blogroll)
Random Joy

1. Have you ever read a self-help book and if so was it useful to you?

I have read a few--not a lot--and one or two have had some decent points. Most of them are best read the way I 'read' books while cataloging: flip open, scan a few pages at random, check the index for anything useful, look at the pictures/charts/etc. Move on.

2. If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?

I'm not much for gold. However, I wouldn't mind having a gold brick. Just in case.

3. What one word do you overuse the most?

"Actually." I also :-) too much.

4. Who is the least charming person you have ever met?

Gotta be my niece Katharine. It's not even a contest. I've actually (see?) had people pull me aside at get-togethers or after and ask if she was ill or upset. Nope: that's just her.

5. What article of clothing that you either gave or threw away do you wish you could have back?

Hmmm, most of the clothes I've gotten rid of wouldn't fit anymore anyway.... I wish I'd kept the army green cropped pants I wore my senior year in college. Oh, and also: elf boots. Please, that's one fashion trend I want to return: I need to buy a few more pairs. This time, I'll store 'em!

Blogthings...

...apparently are written by college-age people, because everytime school isn't in session, they explode!

You Are in the Oral Stage of Development

According to Dr. Freud, you are stuck in the oral stage of development. If you were orally denied as a child, you may be sarcastic and pessimistic. If you were orally indulged as a child, you may be spoiled and a bit gullible. You may not have the cliched "oral fixation" most times, but it's likely to come out during times of stress.

What Freudian Stage Are You In?

OK. Not totally shocking, I guess. I'm also glad that I didn't have to admit to being some of the "less glamorous" stages. ;-)

---

What Your Fridge Says About You

You aren't greedy, but you don't really deprive yourself either. You strike a good balance with the stuff you buy. You tend to be a fairly thrifty person. You splurge occasionally, but you're mostly a saver. You are a very adventurous person. You love to try new things, and you get bored very easily. You try to be responsible, but you don't always succeed. Your heart is in the right place though. You are likely married, possibly with kids.

What Do the Contents of Your Refrigerator Say About You?

Yup yup yup.

I'm going to go back and do this one as my mother to see what her result would have been...."You tend to be a very hedonistic, greedy person. You have trouble saying no to what you want." Actually, the reason for that result is that she was used to shopping for a family of 6 and never got used to not cramming all kinds of stuff in the fridge.

---

Your Response is: Stay Calm

You don't have much of a fight or flight response. In fact, you rather do neither. You don't like getting worked up. You are able to approach most threats calmly and rationally. You don't let your emotions get the best of you!

How Do You Respond: Fight or Flight?

I think my responses to most of these things are very situational. Some I get really freaked-out about, some I could care less about, which overall scores as "balanced" but emotionally I feel more like a trainwreck than "calm and rational."

Sins

From the Kwizgiver who is linked in the column to the left

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with? Hey! I haven't been angry all day today! Wow--see what NOT going to work does for me!? Face to face, the last person I was irritated with was Sparky over the weekend. Last Thursday night I was furious with The Schedule Nazi.

What is your weapon of choice? My brain. And when things really go to hell, tears.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Uhm, for real? No. But I slug Beast all the time when he's particularly annoying and pesky, in the arm.

How about the same sex? I have. I wouldn't do it in anger, however, not unless grievously provoked.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you? That I know of? Beast, probably. Or Sparky.

What is your pet peeve? Intentional stupidity that overflows into other peoples' lives.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I have a long memory, but I am able to set things aside unless the same sorts of behavior keep cropping up. If it's a pattern, I'm not going to let it go.


Sloth
What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't? Today? I'm not sure I brushed my teeth this morning, actually.... [hey, I've been home all day!]

What is the latest you've ever woken up? I think I have made it to noon, but not recently, and I recall being completely discombobulated most of the afternoon. Screwed me up for another day or two as well.

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? Everyone I know! I'll go with Dean, my brother-in-law.

What is the last lame excuse that you made? All my excuses sound lame to me. "I'm busy" is the most frequently used.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Gaaah. No.

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning? Don't think I did at all this morning, I just let the radio play while I woke up.


Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? If bottled water counts, that's it. If not...uh...it would have to be caramel apple cider at Starbucks since that's the only overpriced yuppie beverage place I ever visit.

Are you a meat eater? Yes. Ahem.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting -outing -event? I had 12 of those little plastic glasses of champagne at midnight one Saturday in college, after...some other stuff much earlier in the night. And I drank those 12 glasses in about 20 minutes. Fuckme. I was gone for several hours that morning (as in blacked out). The only other time I was anywhere near that drunk was on several shots of Peppermint Schnapps. I can't drink cheap champagne or schnapps (or use Scope), or even SMELL them, anymore. Gag.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits? Drinking, yes. Eating...not really, but I don't care enough to work on 'em.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets? Is the Pope Catholic?

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy food? Sweets. Then crunchy. I'm aware that's not on the list, but I don't care for salty stuff UNLESS it's crunchy.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"? Lunch for someone if they were pesky, yes.


Greed
How many credit cards do you own? One credit (zero balance), one debit.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? In order by approx. amount: pay taxes, invest/pay off the house, give away...

Would you rather be rich or famous? Of those two choices, rich. I have NO desire to be famous, none whatsoever.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks? No. Well....how boring?? What would constitute boring? My job can be tedious, but that's some of the part I enjoy. Yes. I'm weird. Move on.


Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of? There's not a lot I can think of that I have done completely by myself recently. However, I will say that my grades throughout school were a pretty damn good achievement, and the fact that I have stuck with some rather untenable workplace situations is up there. If I could include "joint projects" the answer would be a tie between my marriage and my son.

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? No idea. Probably staying married, but I really have no earthly idea. Not something that has ever been, or is likely to be, mentioned by my mother.

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life? Dignity.

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Yes. It's why I rarely actively agree to compete in public.

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Well...yeah! Of course.

Have you ever cheated to get a better score? Only in solitaire.

What did you do today that you're proud of? Spent only $55 on Amazon instead of the hundreds of dollars I'd prefer to have dropped. ;-)


Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)? Well. Uh, that eliminates virtually everyone I've seen naked. Several actors, and some "actors."

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)? That list is it, as far as I know.

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation? What's "normal"? Sure, I guess. Maybe. Sure.

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? ...I'm going to pass on this. Thanks for asking.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? At the same time? Nope. Thanks, again, for asking. Move on.

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Uh, not that I'm aware of. I'm not sure I'd know, truthfully, unless it was 100% overt.


Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Some furniture. Some self-control. It sort of depends on the friends in question.

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? We have joked with J & L about doing this, but I'd hate to lose a friendship over it.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be? myself is fine...I've got that sorted out (most days)

Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah....

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Of course! Haven't we all be teenagers!? Sometimes, still.

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? A better eye for decor.


What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often? gluttony, maybe wrath

Do you do the least often? Envy

Manic Monday

(Link at left)
You’ve won $100,000 – but have to give it all away. To which charity or institution would you donate it?

A chunk to PCUSA, a chunk to 46664, a chunk to NOW, and a chunk to the World Bank.

What do you think is the most soothing sound?

Car traffic echoing off cliffs, the lapping of water against the shore, a calm breeze over hills, baby snores.... I was talking to young friend of mine over the weekend and we both said how much the sound of distant trains through open windows at night makes us feel safe.

In reality, I think this answer is very specific to where you felt safe and calm as a child. For instance, in the summers as a child I went to sleep listening to stock car races about a mile away. I wouldn't really call that a soothing sound...and yet, it is. For me.

Does time heal all wounds?

Depends on your definition of healing. I think time does cover the immediate pain of the wound, but I also think that some things, if left untreated, will fester like worms and never properly be healed. And some wounds cause blood poisoning.

I do, emphatically, believe that time wounds all heels, though.

Freud was a cokehead

Cat., Freud would say your personality is most affected by events that happened when you were between a year and a half and three years old.


Relative to others, your personality today is moderately affected by the events of your childhood. This manifests itself in surprising ways. For example, you have a tendency to be especially orderly or clean. Compared to others, you may also harbor a strong rebellious streak.

I hate that Freud is also bang-on the head. So to speak. Y'know?

[This is from later in the report--and it's where I had to get up and get paper towels to clean up the pop I sprayed all over the monitor when I read it the first time: Interestingly enough, even though anal retentives typically avoid mess, Freud believes that unconsciously they crave it — and therein lies their conflict. Freud felt that this internal unrest also manifested through stubborn behavior. LMAO!! Oh, dear: this totally describes not only me, but Beast as well!]

[And still later: The Genital Period is different from the rest. In order to arrive here successfully, you have to have resolved most conflicts from the other periods. This is no small feat. This is the stage when adult sexuality begins to flourish because the difficulties of childhood sexual development have basically been maneuvered successfully. This was, far and away, where I scored the highest. So there, Freud! Oh, wait, this is still his theory...damn!]

Edited: because I didn't copy the link...sorry! :-)

Snoopy Dance

You're a Gratitude!


The Happiness Test

Brought to you by Tickle

Situation Sunday

(Link at left)
But first...Sunday Brunch

1} Which do you prefer in the am: Coffee or tea?

Neither. I hate the taste of coffee, and tea is way too much trouble for me. Give me Dr. Pepper (diet).

2} Work has been cancelled on the spur of the moment: Clean house and do errands, Or just fun things?

My work gets cancelled no more often than once every two or three years. On days that I've been working, we've closed precisely...uh...never. In theory, then, I'd be likely to be home, maybe cleaning, maybe (if we have electricity) computer, games, or TV. Otherwise...bed might be an option! {g}

3} Middle of the hot summer, vacation at: Mountains or beach?

Mountains. Hands down.

4}You have to travel at a leisure[ly] speed: Train, plane or car?

Car. Plane travel is FAR from leisurly, especially anymore.

5} To relax: movie or book?

Book.

6} What kind of pets? Dog, cat, bird or fish.

I have owned birds and dogs. Birds are way too high-maintenance for me nowadays and I'm allergic to dogs. And cats. Fish are boring (sorry, imho). So we have a guinea pig, which is just about perfect.

7} Dream home: Hard wood floors or carpeting?

REAL hardwood, not Pergo or whatever, and tile. With really good rugs.

8} A fun activity: cards, bingo or blogging?

Bingo? Uh, no. But the others, yes.

9} First date: Dinner, movie or a hike?

If I were in better shape, a hike. A walk would be fine too. A movie is safe, too, in case we end up having nothing to talk about.

10} The first kiss: peck on the cheek, or a long romantic one?

My first kiss? The first time I kiss someone? My track record in this department? Generally, if I'm ready to kiss, I'm ready to KISS.

The Situations:

Situation #1
A person you have known many years growing up and that you were close to at one time has moved away for like 20 years, and always kept in contact with your younger sibling. Last year you ran into them at a local store. They tell you that they are moving home and going [through] a divorce, and to please call and get together. You call and their mother answers and says they are not here, and you hear them in the background. Many months have passed and you are at your sibling's home and they show up, and act like nothing has happened. They ask for your number. Do you give it, and how do you act and feel now towards this person?

Well, sure I'd give it. Maybe Mom's a bitch and didn't pass along the message. Then again, maybe this person's never going to contact me. Whatever. I'd probably live, either way. Frankly, this situation is WAY close to a situation I'm in right now with a friend. I just can't get excited about it; she's the way she is, and at 40-plus, I am not going to try to change her.

Situation #2
You awake one day and for some strange reason, you now have memory loss, amnesia. Everyone around you tries to help, but clearly you do not know them or trust them. Your supposedly spouse is very supportive, but you think 'how the hell could I have married [him].....you have no children......What do you do?

The - ra - py.
LOTS of it. I'm fortunate that I have blogs (and yes, against all advice, I have written down the passwords for everything!) and diaries to help walk through something like this. Again, I know someone who had to reconstruct his life in a similar way. It's a concern.

Situation #3
You come home early from work one day, and you catch your spouse in your bed with the hired help. What do you do?

Fire 'em both (after taking several photos).

This is from the cat....{Trigger}Situation #4
How do I get rid of the dog?

Uhm, Trig...you're smarter than the dog. You don't need to get rid of the dog. The dog is your minion, just train the dog to follow your commands.

Thursday Threesome

(Link at left)
Why?

1. Why do you think western medicine sucks so bad? From the insurance companies to mis-diagnosis to being shifted from doctor to doctor until they figure out what's wrong with you? Do you think it might be worse in the US than in other countries? Why/why not?

Uhm, western medicine has saved my ass too many times to agree with the basic sentiment here. I don't think western medicine sucks. I think we westerners (i.e. Americans) expect everything to be a walk in the park, and when it isn't we get all whiny and stupid. Life is hard, people. Illness happens. As Beast frequently says, "Why do you think doctors call what they do 'practice'?" Sometimes they're wrong about things. Sometimes they're stupid, too, and for that they should be held accountable, but accidents happen. Sometimes doctors prescribe something that (nearly) kills you, for no reason other than to see if that med works on a cold. That's stupid, and it pissed off my parents enough to be part of a class action lawsuit on behalf of my sister, but they didn't so much fault the doctor as the pharmaceutical business (ahem--another industry quite capable of wearing both black and white hats). That drug is now used to treat yellow fever, incidentally, and only as a last resort.

Having said all that, I think the health delivery system in the U.S. needs a great deal of fine-tuning. The fact that insurance companies are running treatment- and care-options is ridiculous. However, I have relatives in England who are less than excited about the same thing, except that it's the government not insurance companies making these same decisions. Heard of Medicare? The hoops we are jumping through for my mom are bizarre.

It would just be nice if individuals would belly up to the responsibility bar and realize that they can't have it both ways. Sometimes it's cancer and it's good that they removed all the tissue touching the tumor...and sometimes it was a benign tumor and they didn't need to remove all the surrounding organs after all. Suing won't bring it back.

Rant over.

2. For those of us not growing up in Beaver's house, why do we fear we're going to turn into our parents? How do we not do that?

Hmm, I guess I grew up in Beaver's house. I have gone a long way toward turning into my parents. That's not necessarily a bad thing in my case. I'm more worried about my treatment of, behavior toward, and relationship with my (nearly) grown child at this point.

3. Why do you think we as a civilization can't seem to get along with one another?

Because we talk more than we listen, we lack empathy, and we're way too interested in flashy stuff instead of commonplace courtesy. And a lot of other reasons.

Your table is ready, Mr. Freud...

You Are the Super Ego

While some people may think first and act later... you often don't act at all. You rather be safe than sorry, and you take ethics pretty seriously. Like everyone, you have some pretty crazy desires. But unlike everyone, you restrain yourself. You have high standards for your own behavior. And you happily exceed them.

Are You Id, Ego, or Superego?

I have been known to act quite often before thinking! And I also fail to exceed my expectations regularly. See my other blog for details.....

Sensthitive

Your Sensitivity Score: 61%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything [affects] you. You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down. But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

Yup. 100% correct. Especially the bit about other people's bad moods.

Found at Amy's (awhile back)

I'm cheating a little because I forgot to do this yesterday when I was "allowed" to meme:

Freudian Inventory Results

Oral (56%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own. Anal (56%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity. Phallic (30%) you appear to have negative issues regarding sexuality and/or have an uncertain sexual identity. Latency (53%) you appear to have a good balance of abstract knowledge seeking and practicality, dealing with real world responsibilities while still cultivating your abstract and creative faculties and interests. Genital (50%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.

Take Free Freudian Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I'm amused. Let's just leave it at that.