when a true genius appears in the world...

(Stolen from Amy)

What would be your biggest achievement to date?

It's not job-related, though I've done well there, for sure. I would say the big achievements of my life have been extremely personal: raising a child to adulthood who shows promise of being a Very Good Person, staying married for 29 years through a fair number of bumps and stumbles, maintaining my faith, discovering that I'm OK and Good Enough.

Do you prefer baths or showers?

Baths. I love a good soak with a good book and bubbles.

Are you a good liar?

I was always amazed as a child at the bald-faced lies my mom (seemed to) believe. Later, I have wondered if she was content to let me stew in my guilt and bad judgment. I've certainly done that with Sparky at times. As an adult, I lie -- white lies, mostly -- almost daily: answers to questions such as "How do I look?" and "Aren't you glad to see me?" and my most common response "It's great to see you!"

Are you a good judge of character?

Eventually. Sometimes I try to hard too see the good side of things when I really should just let the situation be what it actually is.

Are you any good at charades?

I think so, but this is really more of a function of how well your teammates know you, or rather, how well you connect with them. I also haven't played charades in many decades.

How long could you go without talking?

Seeing as how I regularly talk to myself, not long. How long could I go without speaking to another person? DAAAAAYYYYSSSS (and it sounds like heaven!).

Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair?

I didn't win it; Beast did. I'm pretty sure all those prizes have been relegated to the garbage long since.

Why does it always rain on me?

Because you're too stupid (or pathetic) to remember to bring your umbrella.

Why doesn't it ever seem to rain on me?

And we have achieved some level of incompatibility here....

Have you ever sailed a boat?

I've been on probably 10 boats total in my entire life, ranging from rowboat to large lake-vessel. I'm not a fan of being out in the middle of big water because of the whole (not) swimming thing. Big boats I'm ok with. I white-knuckle the rowboat and canoe options.

Do you have a lawyer?

Do I need one? What have you heard?!
I have one very good friend who is a (non-practicing) attorney, I work with a woman whose husband is a good criminal attorney, and I know a couple of other attorneys who mostly practice family law and do wills and that sort of thing. One works for the nearest Judicial District. So, I think actually I'm set, should I need legal advice.

Do you buy people presents to bring back when you go on holiday?

As a rule, when you become a parent and take trips without the child(ren), it's a good idea to bring back something for your offspring. So in that respect, yes. I also try to bring something back to snack on for people at work. And if I see stuff for my friends, I'll snag it too. But I'm not always on the lookout, I fear.

Are you the sort to step in and try to break up a fight?

Only to shift it to somewhere I don't have to deal with it. My go-to when people start posturing is, "Don't get blood on the carpet! If you're going to fight, take it outside." And that's if I'm in a position of authority at work or somewhere. If I'm out in public, I would be most likely to call 911 on adults or older teens, and maybe start hollering at kids. I stay completely out of anything involving an animal fighting. Always.

Have you ever been in a fight?

Have you met my family?! We have been known to fight over the stupidest things, verbally. There's not a lot of hitting, though. The last time I hauled off and smacked someone was 12 years ago when Sparky did something asshatted and I spanked him, which was also the ONLY time I spanked him. It hurt my hands and wrists, so yeah. I've been in one fight per se on the playground in 5th (?) grade with Jeri J.

Have you ever started a rumour?

I don't think I've done it intentionally or maliciously, but I'm sure I have been involved in untoward speculation that has gotten out of hand. I'm not proud of that.

Have you ever heard any outstanding rumours about yourself?

No. I kind of wish I would. As far as I know for sure, no one talks about me. Which, in all seriousness, is probably just fine.

Do you own a paddling pool?

I don't even know WTF this is!

What potential talents do you think you might have if you worked at them?

Writing, organizing, copy-editing, teaching.