Saturday 9

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Thank U, Next (2018) 

 Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here. 

1) In this song, Ariana Grande thanks her former boyfriends for what they taught her about love, life, patience and pain. Do you believe you have learned more from your successes, or your mistakes? 

Sadly, I seem to only learn from hard times, i.e. mistakes. Right now I'm facing a complete personality overhaul so I don't lose my job.

2) One of the young men mentioned in the song is Pete Davidson, a cast member of Saturday Night Live. SNL has been on for more than 45 years now. Who is your all-time favorite cast member? 

Gilda. Though Kate McKinnon is pretty amazing.

3) Thinking of funny people ... As you can see from the video, Ariana performed "Thank U, Next" on Ellen Degeneres' talk show. Ellen makes people laugh every afternoon. Who in your life can you always count on to make you laugh or smile? 

I got a call Thursday from a friend/acquaintance who knew I needed to buck up. He almost always makes me smile and he did it again on one of my worst days in awhile. I am so fortunate to have so many friends like this. If it's not an actual person, "The Dollop" podcast often makes me cry with hilarity.

4) It looks like Ariana Grande's personal romantic saga will have a happy ending because at Christmastime, she announced her engagement. Do you know anyone who is getting married in 2021? 

Nope. That is, I don't know if I know anyone getting married this year.

5) Ariana loves Harry Potter and named her dogs Snape, Lily and Sirius Black after characters in the J.K. Rowling books. Are you a Harry Potter fan? 

I like the stories.

6) She loves board games, especially Monopoly. Sam isn't crazy about Monopoly because it takes so long. How about you? Are you a Monopoly fan? 

Not really, and for the same reason as Sam.

7) In 2018, the year this song was released, Toys R Us closed all its stores and went out of business. Who received the last toy you purchased? What was it? 

Beast got a mini-sock-monkey for Christmas from me. Oh, and a light/memory game, which I haven't actually seen in his hands yet.

8) Also in 2018, Aretha Franklin died. What's your favorite Aretha song? 

Any song Aretha sang was tremendous. "Chain of Fools" is a favorite, but honestly...ANYthing.

 9) Random question: Are you more likely to shed a tear at a wedding or during a movie?

Both? The vows always make me mushy inside, and there is almost always some pathos that forces me to cry in a movie.

Saturday 9 x2

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Lazy Bones (1975)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a guy who'd rather nap than do his chores. Are there things you should be doing right now, instead of hanging around the blogosphere, answering these questions?

Of course. There's ALWAYS something I should be doing. Today's list includes handwashing some dishes, excavating the counters in the kitchen, general vacuuming (pick a floor, any floor)... So I'm blogging.

2) This song mentions a lazy afternoon of fishing. When did you last go fishing?

Sparky was 8. I know because he and his dad caught a fish (ok, it was a minuscule perch that was too small to keep). That was in 2001, at Moosehead Lake.

3) The lyrics catch our hero sleeping in both the sun and the shade. Do you have a nice, shady place to nap on your front lawn? Or would we catch you lying in the sun?

We have shade in the front yard, but the ground there isn't as comfy as the grass in the backyard, where there are no trees.

4) This week's featured artist, Leon Redbone, is a difficult man to nail down. Over the years he's claimed to be born in Ontario, and Philadelphia, and even Cyprus. Tell us about a time you got caught in a fib.

Well, there was the time I called someone an 'asshole' in an email to a mutual friend...and then, much later in the convo, I sent the whole email string to the first person. He's not an asshole, but there was some stupid behavior on display at the moment...oh boy.

5) Mr. Redbone has said that taking himself too seriously would be "the gentle kiss of death." What's something that you always take seriously and just can't joke about?

I wish I could say that I have never told, or laughed at, an off-color or shady joke, but everything I start to type I think of something ridiculous I've said or heard. Sometimes it's pretty black humor, but that is how I cope with life most of the time. I mean, my topics were Child Abuse, Racism, Sexism, Donald Trump....but every one of those topics I can think of absurdities that are just nuts and laughable. Not, "isn't it funny that we hit this kid" funny, but seriously, you really thought no one would notice your KID had DISAPPEARED* from your house?? WTF you fucking moron.

6) He has retired from public life, and that includes his Facebook page, which is no longer available. What did you last post to your Facebook page?

Just before I started on this.

7) Leon always wore dark glasses when he performed. Do your sunglasses have gray, green, brown or rose colored lenses?

They are black, but they're also the kind the change from regular glasses to dark in the sun.

8) Recently Dick Van Dyke performed this song at a charity benefit, aided by his a capella quartet, The Vantastix. Last year, at age 90, he campaigned for Bernie Sanders. So Mr. Van Dyke is certainly not a "lazy bones." Who's the most active, energetic person in your life?

There's a woman at my church who is coming up on 80 who is more physically vigorous than pretty much anyone I know, of ANY age. She is astounding. I would have guessed she was closer to 60 at most--only because of her gray hair and some general wrinkliness--but in conversation over the winter she mentioned that her husband was turning 80 (which is equally hard to believe) this year and she's not far behind. They own an apple orchard so they work, physically, every day. Amazing.

9) Random question: You're at dinner with friends and someone begins a very long joke with, "Stop me if you've heard this before." You have heard it, many times before. Do you stop him? Or do you just sit through it again?

Depends on the person. And the joke. If it's a rude joke, like beyond the pale for other hearers, I'll stop them. If it's just a tired old stupid story, I'll probably sit through it again. I've been doing that my whole entire life, after all. Sometimes it sucks being the youngest....

_____
*Local dude moved to a new house with his family, minus one pre-teen daughter. Somehow police got involved back in the old neighborhood--not sure if new residents in home called or what--and the authorities found remains in the garage, which had been there at least several weeks (into months' time). Dude's full of excuses about what could have possibly happened. Same dude told people earlier, prior to moving, that he was going to "get rid" of the girl into fostering or adoption or "whatever." Seriously? I have to laugh to think that someone is THIS STUPID! If I don't laugh, I'm going to want to slit my wrists over the fact that I'm breathing the same air as people like this.


C Is for Cookie
Don't blame Sam. Harriet requested Cookie Monster.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's featured artist, Cookie Monster says his favorite TV show is Monsterpiece Theater. What show do you try never to miss?

We DVR Deadliest Catch, all the NCIS shows and a few things that Beast watches without me (Bill Maher, car shows). I may see about getting Graham Norton on the schedule. I need some silliness.

2) Though he goes by Cookie Monster professionally, he is still called Sid by his family. When will you next get together with your relatives?

I have no idea. Thanksgiving for sure. We might see the locals (Katherine, Alan and the boys) this summer. I'm not planning more than about a week at a time--at most!!--these days.

3) Now for the cookie questions! Where do you weigh in on this age-old controversy: Is a brownie a cookie or a cake?

Cake. Never really thought about it, but I make them in a cake pan. On the other hand, given any way of doing so, I make cookies in cake pans too. SO much faster!

4) Fig Newtons contain no cholesterol. Do you read nutrition labels before eating snacks? Or does knowing the truth about your favorite sweets ruin your enjoyment?

Everything I think tastes good is bad for me at this point. Except almonds and walnuts and fruit.

5) Biscotti are designed for dipping into drinks. Do you like to dunk your cookies?

Yuck.

6) Do you prefer cookies made with milk chocolate chips, dark chocolate chips or semi-sweet chocolate chips? Or are you a rebel who prefers butterscotch chips?

I love love love butterscotch cookies! I'm ok with whatever chocolate is used, though I'm not a giant fan of them, though they are yummy right out of the oven.

7) Bill Murray once said, "Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues." Do you like raisin cookies?

I LOVE oatmeal-raisin cookies! My mom's were the best ever. ...sigh

8) Nabisco still sells animal-shaped cookies in a red box that looks like a train car labeled, "Barnum's Animals." However Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus gave their last-ever performance on May 21, 2017. Have you ever been to the circus?

I've been twice to Ringling Brothers, once to the Moscow Circus and I think I was at a couple small traveling circuses in my life. I wasn't particularly thrilled with the American circuses for various reasons, but the bears in Moscow were amazing.

9) Have you ever received a memorable fortune in a fortune cookie?

Not that I recall. I keep some of them for awhile, but they haven't been life-changing. However, in the midst of answering these questions, we were talking about dinner and the subject of Chinese takeout was raised (by Beast). Maybe tonight's the night I'll get that killer fortune, eh?

Friday 5

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Bizarro Cliché

1. The Magic Word is “please,” but what’s the magic gesture?

   Around here on the road, it seems to be a flying bird.

2. “Big D” is Dallas, but where is Big G?

   I'm stumping for Green Bay.

3. Elvis Presley is the King of Rock and Roll, but who’s the king of your personal music collection?

   I have a Queen: Melissa Etheridge.

4. The motherland is wherever you consider your family’s origins, but what’s the cousinland?

   Appalachia.

5. CBS calls itself the Tiffany Network, but what would you call the Walmart Network?

   Fox. Of course!

Friday 5

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Questions to Make Your Hands Clammy
Ha. I was pleased with this week’s theme. I wrote the questions and then checked my archive, and apparently it’s such a good idea that I thought of it two years ago. I was pleased that I didn’t repeat myself. If five questions aren’t enough for you this week, and if you never answered those, feel free to tack those questions onto these and make it a Friday 10!

1. Who's been a ray of sunshine lately?

   Honestly? Me. I mean, I feel like fresh hell most days, but this has been a weird week at work, and for the most part I sort of feel like I was the only person not losing my shit on an hourly basis.

2. When do you next expect to be stuffed to the gills?

   Oh hell who knows. I eat too much too often. It's got to stop.

3. Among people you know, who can really tell a whale of a tale?

   My brother Del is a great storyteller.

4. What’s something you’ve been herring good things about?

   heh, I love a good pun...
   Not so much from D.C. Hoping tomorrow's marches go well across the country.

5. Which of the S.S. Minnow's passengers or crew do you think you'd get along best with?

   Mary Ann, of course. Or the Professor.

Friday 5

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Tubular
In honor of this week’s Emmy nominations.

1. What TV series have you watched every episode of?

   Every one of the original CSI series, and (I think) CSI:NY. Pretty much all of the Monty Python's Flying Circus episodes by now, I think. Pretty much all of NCIS (original) and its spinoffs. There are some older ones, I'm sure, but I'm drawing a blank.

2. What are your favorite instrumental and vocal TV theme songs?

   I still like the Friends song, possibly because I stopped watching the show itself early on. The theme from Hill Street Blues never does NOT get my adrenaline going. And, of course, the all-time best "Suicide Is Painless" (M*A*S*H).

3. What’s a TV series you stuck with even when it got bad?

   CSI got really weird towards the end but we stuck with it. It pretty much died with Warwick, but was kept alive in a failed attempt to stay edgy.

4. What supporting TV character would you like to have seen featured in his or her own spinoff? If you’re feeling creative, what would be the premise of that series?

   I would have followed George Eads (CSI) anywhere. And it would be fascinating to know what Eliot's been up too since he quit the force (L&O:SVU). I don't have any great ideas for either.

5. What is the single funniest moment on TV you have ever seen?

   Almost any episode of Whose Line Is It? can get me to the point of crying with laughter.

Sunday Stealing

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Ask Questions Meme

1. What type of criminal would you be?

I would be stealthy and (I hope) never captured. Prison doesn't really seem like my gig.

2. What are you listening to right now?

We're watching the DVR'd NASCAR race from last night. Just had a little banger that took out a bunch of the "name" guys.

3. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be?

For myself or someone else? Frankly, I went to school with some girls whose names, looking back, were pretty close to stripper names. None of them became strippers--I'm Facebook friends with several of them. But really, WHY do we (Americans?) name our girls after alcohol and food: Candy, Sherry, Brandy...?

4. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling?

I would know from the ringtone whether it was someone I wanted to talk to. Beast and Sparky have their own specific ringtones. Close friends all share one. People I need to be sure to answer have a separate one. My extended family and "unknown" all play Rachmaninoff, the Sound of Doom.

5. Do you drink alcohol?

Not very often, not anymore.

6. Do you smoke?

My stock answer is always "only when really angry."

7. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

The more often I am asked this question, the more it boils down to threat assessment: is this someone I need to keep an eye on? are they acting goofy? does she seem friendly? are those kids going to run right in front of me when I walk past?

8. Do you get attached easily?

Not like I used to. Too many emotional injuries.

9. Do you like your eye color?

I'm cool with it.

10. Have any stupid human tricks?

I'm full of 'em. Nothing that would make me much money on stage, though. I know a lot of song lyrics, including most classic musicals, and I can tell you the Dewey call number for a LOT of random subjects, and what the individual parts of the longer numbers mean. I can make a fast béchamel sauce without a recipe. I can fold fitted sheets. I can stand on the edge of a cliff and look down without weirding out.

11. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

Look, I'm 52 years old and not at my finest physically. At this point, physical attributes in others aren't something I feel I can be too fussy about. Were I in the market, upright and breathing and not currently hospitalized are major selling points. Nice voice is a bonus. Nice eyes too.

12. Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

Sense of humor is required, along with plain speaking, and kindness and some humility.

13. Have you ever stolen anything?

Yup, but not for years. Except, I suppose, the occasional paper clip or something from work.

14. Any romantic gestures you really like?

I used to tell Beast not to buy flowers because we couldn't really afford them. Now I wish I'd kept my mouth shut because he buys me flowers less than once a year; I trained him too well.:'(

15. What’s your favorite color and why?

Blue. I think it started because blue jeans, and now is because of missing the blues of the sky and mountains of Colorado. Blue and white were my high school's colors.

16. What were you like when you were a kid?

Shy, quiet, a bit of a loner, bookish, kind of a crybaby.

17. What would your dream house be like?

I love the house in which I live now. The only thing I'd like to add is a hot-tub, but I am not thrilled with the prospect of having to clean it. Here's the floor plan of our house. The kitchen island is different, and instead of a pantry we have floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. There's a fireplace in the living room between the two side windows. Everything else is basically the same.

18. What last made you laugh?

The guys doing the commentary on the race are killing me. They're really confused about the rules of this race, and Waltrip keeps saying stupid stuff like, "When you're leaking fluid and having trouble steering, it's probably power-steering fluid that's leaking." Derp.

19. Do you have a place you like to go to collect your thoughts?

Bed or the bathroom.

20. What is your favorite word?

Lately, it's been "fuck" and all its cognates. I've totally become a sailor.

21. What is your least favorite word?

"Sorry." It means nothing, nothing, if there's no change in behavior following it.

22. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance?

You bet!!

23. Do you have any siblings?

I have one sister and one brother left.

24. Do you like to dance?

Yes. But not in public.

25. What is your definition of cheating?

Lying about emotional commitments to others.

Saturday 9

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Fool on the Hill (1967)
Unfamiliar with today's song? We can't help you. The YouTube copyright police have removed the Beatles' version. [But I found a tribute video with the original song here today. Who knows if it'll still be available later.]

1) Friday was April Fool's Day. Did you pull any pranks? Did anyone put anything over on you?

I shared a post on Facebook about football that was a prank--and 'got' Beast with it, and I think a church friend who didn't bother to click through--but otherwise I did my usual play-it-cool-and-stay-out-of-the-crossfire. I'm not a huge fan of pranks.

2) The practice of playing tricks on one another on April 1 dates back at least to the 14th century and Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales includes a mention of it. Geoffrey Chaucer has been called England's greatest poet. Quote a bit of poetry for us. (It doesn't have to be English, or great.)

This one's for my Dad:

A wonderful bird is a pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belican.
He keeps fish for the week
Inside of his beak,
But I don't know how the helican. (Dixon Lanier Merritt)

It was, invariably, quoted with punctuation from Mom: "[DAD'S FIRST NAME!]"

3) Beatle Paul is a huge Elvis fan and is happy to own the bass that was played on Elvis' 1954 recording of "That's All Right, Mama." Tell us about one of your prized possessions.

Since all of our kitchen cupboards had to be emptied yesterday* and the contents are mostly still sitting in the dining room patiently waiting for re-stowage....I'll go with my Sunbeam stand mixer. I grew up with my mom's 1950s-era version and when we got married young and poor I bought a cheap lightweight mixer for kitchen tasks. What a cheap piece of crap: plastic, impossible for mashing potatoes, and just junk. So somewhere along the line when we had money to blow, Beast bought me a Sunbeam for Christmas. And it was a very good gift--still works beautifully and is heavy enough to take care of just about anything, even bread dough (I have bread hook attachments).

4) In contrast to his easygoing persona, Sir Paul has been described by former band mate Ringo Starr as strong willed and "determined to get his own way." Do you consider yourself strong willed and determined? Or are you more easy going?

Yes. I'm mostly very easygoing, but I have a temper and a tendency to lose it over the most ridiculous stuff. And I do like to get my own way, in true Youngest Child fashion; my choice of profession didn't help either as I also like to be "right" about answers.

5) The Beatles once bought a Greek island, planning to live and record there, but sold it after a few months because it started to seem like a bad, expensive idea. Tell us about a purchase that gave you buyer's remorse.

We once had a Plymouth Voyager. From the standpoint of having room to cart Sparky's baby equipment around on vacation, it was great. Otherwise...man, I really hated that car....!

6) Legend has it that the Beatles officially broke up in Disney World. John Lennon was staying at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort when he received and signed the court papers that dissolved the group. Have you ever conducted business while on vacation?

Huh. Of course. In this day of smart phones and 24-hour internet email checking? Beast actually has a job for which he's "on call" whenever customers need him, so he's always doing stuff on vacations. This upcoming vacation will be interesting in that we are limited to one device to check all our accounts, which means sharing, which means potential problems. So I've pretty much decided I'm going dark for the duration. Hurrah.

7) George Harrison loved puttering around in the garden and dedicated his autobiography to "gardeners everywhere." Do you have a green thumb?

I do not. I have, somehow, managed to keep a lovely little cactus-y thing and its offshoots (all gifts) alive for about 5 years now. And some other really easy plants are still alive through no 'fault' of my own. I have killed more houseplants in my lifetime than anyone I know.

8) Ringo regrets not having saved more Beatles memorabilia, which he realizes now would be worth a fortune. Are you a pack rat?

We have a great deal of shit in storage in this house. (She says, looking at the dining room and all the collected crap sitting there. Why do we need four (FOUR!) different sets of wine-glasses??). I will be winnowing while putting things away.)

9) Random question: Which do you prefer, Girl Scout cookies or Boy Scout popcorn?

Nothing against popcorn, but cookies FTW!!

*We had new countertops installed so all the lower cupboards needed to be cleared for access and so things didn't get broken. I posted the before photo on Facebook about how the old counters were going away hurrah hurray, and got immediately guilt-tripped by two nieces to the effect that our old stuff is better than their current counters. Gotta love family.

BEFORE

AFTER

CLOSE-UP and blurry

Friday 5

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Sense

1. How would you describe your sense of direction?

   If I don't know where I am in a general sense, I'm screwed. I mean, when I grew up there were clear, geographical markers for the directions. Here...it's flat and featureless all around. I mean, this time of year, the sun and moon don't even really rise in the east; it's more like ESE, so that screws everything else up. smh I gotta get back to mountains...

2. Whose sense of humor is most like yours?

   I don't think anyone gets my weirdness completely. Even I don't get why I'm laughing sometimes. Beast probably is closest to the same wavelength, and T at work. And Amy.

3. What film’s or novel’s sense of place really impressed you?

   If you haven't read Kent Haruf's books about Holt, Colorado, then you haven't read a book that is place-contingent. That town is seriously REAL. Also, the Laura Ingalls Wilder books--her descriptions of the prairies is stunning and skillful. Oh, and another is Wuthering Heights--Emily got the moors down solidly....brrrr. Nevada Barr's books are good at this aspect of writing too.

4. When did you most recently and accurately sense danger?

   I nearly plowed into someone tonight driving to a meeting. Stupid, totally my fault, inattentiveness. Weirdly, I didn't really freak out about it in the "DANGER DANGER" sense, just pulled away no harm - no foul. The last time I felt like I was unsafe was, frankly, last Sunday when I was frantically calling people from my meetings to talk me down from yet another cliff-of-my-own-making.

5. How would you describe the scent of your car’s interior?

   It smells like me and leather: perfume, french fries, BO, lotion, books, and leather.

Thursday 13

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13 (or so) Very Silly Dogs

1. Do not piss off the poodle, Ridley!!
   


2. "No, it's good. I'll get myself to the vet, thanks."
   


3. "I can haz all the licorice!"
   


4. "I miss Jon Stewart already."
   


5. Colorized
   


6. White and cold and whaaaaa.....!
   


7. Nice try, dude, nice try. Bye.
   


8. Nom Nom Nom
   


9. I got it I got it .... you cheat!
   


10. "I am so tir.... Are you filming this!?! OMG, I hate you!"
    


11. Sure, dogs are the ones with limited intellect. Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that.
    


12. "I was told there'd be pizza. I didn't expect to BE the pizza. Sad face."
    


13. Weaponized derp-dog.
    

Saturday 9

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Heartbeat Song (2015)
... because Cat recommended it (hey, that's me!)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Kelly Clarkson is singing an upbeat song about falling in love. Think of your favorite love song. Is it about finding love or losing it?

I think this song is about her baby, actually, or maybe I'm misremembering an interview I saw when this song first came out. Or maybe for me it's about my son. Anyway, I don't like songs about losing love. I like silly love songs, but not mindlessly stupid ones.

2) This song was co-written by Kara DioGuardi, who was a judge on American Idol. Kelly was, of course, the first American Idol. Do you watch Idol, The Voice, or America's Got Talent?

Nope.

3) In this video, Kelly is blonde. Clairol based a famous ad campaign around the assertion that "blondes have more fun." Tell us another commercial catchphrase (it can be for any product at all).

"Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." And yes, I really did type that from memory. So very sad. [Can you tell it's dinnertime? My stomach is apparently running my brain.]

4) As a young girl, Kelly wanted to be a marine biologist. She jokes that she changed her mind after seeing Jaws. Tell us about a movie that really scared you.

Psycho did, of course, even though I was fully prepared and saw it for a psychology course in college. However, I get scared in almost every movie with intense scenes. For crying out loud, I had to be removed from Oliver! as a child because Mr. Bumble terrified me!! And it hasn't ever gotten much better. Ben Hur is another one that I remember having to leave the room during the chariot race because it's so intense.

5) Kelly is very involved with NASCAR, performing at pre-race concerts and appearing at their Champions' Breakfast. Are you a race fan?

I actually am. Not a crazy-loony fan, but I know most of the top-tier driver's names at least and a little about most of them. And Kyle Busch sucks.

6) Kelly is married to Brandon Blackstock, stepson of country superstar Reba McEntire. Are you a country music fan?

I like some country songs. Or maybe I like country-pop. Not so much country-western twang-a-doodle fests.

7) The Blackstocks have a baby girl, River Rose. In May, the family visited an Australian wildlife preserve and introduced her to koalas and kangaroos. Have you visited the zoo this year?

Nope. I haven't really gone to the zoo in probably 7 years or so. Technically, I go to a charity event at a zoo every fall but the zoo itself is incidental, just a location.

8) Upon learning that she was getting criticized on Twitter for being "big," Kelly responded, "Say what you will. It's a free world. It doesn't bother me." How about you? Do you worry what other people think of you?

I don't really worry about it. I know I'm overweight. I know I'm mouthy, bitchy, opinionated and silly. I don't really need to be told any of those things. I do get really fucking upset when I'm talked down/condescended to, or belittled because I'm a female. I'm not stupid. Don't ever think that, no matter how idiotic I act!

9) She bid over $200,000 and won a ring that had once belonged to Jane Austen. (She doesn't have the ring, though; the British government banned its sale because it's a historic artifact and Kelly's money was returned.) She also has a first edition of one of Austen's novels. Who is your all-time favorite writer?

Well, not Jane Austen! I haven't ever gotten more than 10 pages into any of her books, and believe me I have tried several. YAWN. I read a lot of mysteries: Sue Grafton, Sara Paretsky, J.A. Jance. Bill Bryson is good fun. Anne Lamott is amazingly good at finding the perfect words. I like Charles Dickens and Laura Ingalls Wilder and Kent Haruf and Matthew Arnold and Lawrence Block and Lewis Carroll and E.E. Cummings....

Friday 5

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Stitches

1. Where on your body have you had stitches, and what were the circumstances?

   The only places Iv'e had stitches have been for surgery: on my abdomen and my throat.

2. Who most recently left you in stitches?

   I'm prone to laughing really hard to "Whose Line Is It?" to the point of crying.

3. “A stitch in time saves nine,” says the proverb, which means that mending one small tear in a fabric now prevents having to make nine stitches later when the damage is worse. How has this been illustrated in your life?

   Well, prevention is almost always cheaper than repair. I'm a big believer in it. Beast isn't so aware of it in terms of clothing, but in other ways he's all over this idea.

4. What are your thoughts on Disney’s Lilo & Stitch?

   Never saw it.

5. What experience do you have with needle and thread?

   I can sew. I don't like it much, but I can do basic stuff by hand and with a machine. I still have a lot of the thread that came with my sewing box when I got married. Yes, it was an engagement gift from my sister Ellen. I like embroidery, though.

Friday 5

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Sarcasm

1. What are you sarcastically thankful for today [i.e., Friday]?

   I was very thankful so many people had the day off work yesterday.

2. What are you sarcastically looking forward to this weekend?

   I was terribly excited about cleaning off my desk.

3. What’s something that’s sarcastically given you a sense of accomplishment lately?

   Well, I didn't get fired at my mid-year review, so there's that.

4. What will you sarcastically do to better yourself in the next few days?

   I will not spend shit-tons of money in public with maniacs.

5. Do you agree with Jon Cryer who said, “Sarcasm is lost in print” and Megan Fox who said, “Sarcasm doesn’t translate in print at all?”

   Oh, I TOTally agree with them, 100%.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Rubber Ducky (1970)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is sung by Muppet Ernie. Who's your favorite Muppet?

Cookie Monster, or maybe Grover. I'm old-school.

2) Ernie became famous on PBS's Sesame Street. What public television shows do you watch?

I don't. Sorry--I'm very uncultured.

3) When you were a little kid, what was your favorite TV show?

I grew up before children's TV programming was really much of a thing. I liked the cartoon shows on weekday mornings when I was very little. After that...lots of other things grabbed my attention.

4) On Sesame Street, Ernie frequently teases his best friend Bert by stealing his nose. Do you enjoy practical jokes?

I'm not a huge fan, no.

5) Sesame Street creators developed carefree Ernie and serious Bert to show children that different types of people can be good friends. Think about your closest friend. Tell us how you two differ.

I'm picking one person. She's fairly quiet, except for the occasional inadvertent body sounds out of her control. She's very creative with crafts and good with numbers and likes to cook and bake. She's the only girl out of five kids in her family.

6) Bert and Ernie share a basement apartment on Sesame Street. Tell us about the basement of the building you're in right now.

That would be my house, which is currently full of a lot of random stuff, and the pool table is covered with folded and clean clothes that need to be brought upstairs.

7) Ernie and Bert were created by Jim Henson. In addition to being an accomplished puppeteer, Mr. Henson was also a talented cartoonist. Can you draw?

Very basic stick figures, and doodles.

8) Jim Henson made his first puppets himself using felt, foam rubber, string and rods -- all items that can be purchased at an arts and crafts store. When is the last time you shopped in an arts and crafts store?

Decades. Literally, decades. There really isn't one nearby, though I suppose in a pinch Michael's would qualify in which case about 2 years.

9) When is the last time you took a bath (as opposed to a shower)?

Earlier this week, actually. Before that, probably a month.

Blogthings

You Use Wry Humor

You're the kind of person who can't help but notice (and point out!) how absurd life is. You find the smallest things funny. Your humor entertains others, but you mostly employ it to entertain yourself. You can't stay bored or anxious for long with your outlook. Your humor isn't really dark or light - it's just very smart and witty. Your humor spans the spectrum and tends to be whatever is appropriate for the moment and subject. You don't mind pushing boundaries and shocking people a bit with what you say. And chances are, you're just saying what everyone else is thinking. You would make a great writer - either fiction or nonfiction. Your observations about life would keep everyone entertained. You have a strong voice... one that is witty, unique, and certainly funny. You should take care to make it be heard as much as possible.

What's Your Sense of Humor Like?

I would love to write, but I need to get WAY more disciplined. Mostly I make jokes because otherwise I'll lose my mind and cry all day.

Blogthings

You Use Wry Humor

You're the kind of person who can't help but notice (and point out!) how absurd life is. You find the smallest things funny. Your humor entertains others, but you mostly employ it to entertain yourself. You can't stay bored or anxious for long with your outlook. Your humor isn't really dark or light - it's just very smart and witty. Your humor spans the spectrum and tends to be whatever is appropriate for the moment and subject. You don't mind pushing boundaries and shocking people a bit with what you say. And chances are, you're just saying what everyone else is thinking. You would make a great writer - either fiction or nonfiction. Your observations about life would keep everyone entertained. You have a strong voice... one that is witty, unique, and certainly funny. You should take care to make it be heard as much as possible.

What's Your Sense of Humor Like?

Well, ok then. Could be right. Not so sure about the end of this though.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The "What's Your Story" Meme

1. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten in public?

Well, I guess we have to go back to 1985 when I ate some kind of weird thing that looked like a little Frito hat that turned out to be soft. And sweet. Still have no idea what it was, but it didn't kill me, and ultimately it tasted ok, once the surprise wore off.

2. If you had to go on an adventure, with elves, dwarves, or hobbits, who would you take and why?

Elves. They're clever and better-looking. And magical, I think? But what do I know--I'm not really into fantasy fiction.

3. You are at a rural retreat lodge somewhere deep in Wisconsin or Canada. You are approached by a taxidermist who hands you a stuffed badger and asks you to put it in your lap. What do you do next?

Hit the taxidermist with the badger. What a freakin' weirdo. [By the way, if it's a badget, you're in Wisconsin.]

4. If you were given biscotti, would you prefer it with coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

5. In your opinion, who is the funniest man or woman alive today?

On any given day, I vote for any average happy toddler.

6. If you were given thirty seconds on television to say something, what would it be?

I wouldn't.

7. What is your idea of the most romantic date setting ever?

Being in the moment fully with a loved one who is also fully in the moment. Doesn't matter where that happens.

8. If you could go on one date with a movie or television star, who would it be and why?

I'm virtually certain Beast would not appreciate this. Honestly, I wouldn't want to date anyone wealthy or famous; I'm not a fan of publicity.

9. What is the worst song you have ever heard?

There are way too many bad songs to pick just one.

10. If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?

Someplace warm year-round, but not humid, and not filled with creepy bugs or other critters.

11. Who--in your opinion--was the greatest person to ever live?

I guess it's incumbent on me as a Christian to say Jesus, eh?

Friday Fill-Ins

(Link in meme-roll)

1. Right now I'm supposed to be working on a paper for my class, but I left everything at work, so instead I'm potzing around on Facebook and doing memes.

2. Sarcastic humor is my well known quirk.

3. Are you ready for spring?

4. Do all the yucky bits first, then enjoy the fun parts!

5. That's why I should've done this paper on Monday night, not put it off.

6. "Bewitched" is one of my favorite tv shows ever!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to having finished this damn homework and posting it online, tomorrow my plans include work (tra la), and Sunday, I want to get to the grocery story between church and my induction meeting!

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Back 15 Meme

15) How do you vent out your anger?

Stomp around, write (this is a bad idea), growl at people...and eventually calm down to plot my revenge.

16) Favourite toy as a child?

Toy cars. Jumprope. Dolls. Jacks. Books, though I suppose those aren't precisely toys.

17) Favourite season?

Fall. Or autumn since we're being all British here.

18) Do you ever get letters delivered by the post office?

Well, yyyes. Or at least the occasional card. OK, so yeah, I don't actually get letters, not personal ones very often.

19) When was the last time you laughed hard?

In the car while taking Sparky back to college this afternoon.

20) What is on the floor of your closet?

Dust. Several laundry baskets--mostly empty since I did laundry today--shoes...and a packed back for emergencies.

21) Are you any good at drawing?

No. I doodle with the pros, but not representative of anything but geometry, and the occasional pine tree.

22) What did you do last night?

Came home from work, made dinner with Sparky, ate, watched Friday's CSI:NY, went to bed. Woke up with a VERY itchy eye at about 1, so I guess that's morning by then.

23) What are you most afraid of?

I'm mostly afraid of something awful happening to a loved one.

24) Plain, cheese or spicy hamburger?

Cheese, of course.

25) Favourite dog breed?

Hypoallergenic if I'm going to be around much. Actually, though, I really don't care: dogs = yay.

26) Favorite day of the week?

...and suddenly we're NOT British anymore! I like Mondays, actually.

27) How many states / provinces / countries have you lived in?

Three states.

28) Diamond or pearl?

Turquoise, all things being equal.

29) What is your wish for this new year?

I would really like a long stretch of boredom, and the motivation to get healthy.

30) New year resolutions:

Don't make 'em.

Swiped

(...from Kwizgiver)

1. What was the last clothing item that you bought?

I can't remember buying anything since college Homecoming last month when I bought Beast and me T-shirts.

2. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose?

It would be nice to have stayed 29.5 forever: Sparky was a baby, Mom & Dad were still living in the house where I grew up, and Ellen was alive.

3. When you say "lol," are you really laughing?

Smiling at least.

4. What is the most interesting thing you've done in the past year?

I've done an awful lot of "interesting" things that I wish I hadn't had to do.

5. If you started a business, what would it be?

It would involve computer work, writing at some level, and organization of information.

6. Do your friends/family/coworkers know about your blog?

Beast, Amy, Jenny and M at work know about many of them. There is at least one that is for my eyes only. No one else except a few of you that I've found on Facebook.

7. How long does it take you to write an average blog post?

"Average"? Maybe 20 minutes most of the time, but sometimes hours.

8. How do you keep up with the blogs you follow?

Google Reader. Used to use Bloglines till they said they were shutting down, when I switched to Reader. There are 218 sites on that list: about 10 are news feeds, and at least 20 are defunct for all intents and purposes. There are probably about 100 that post at least once a week or more.

9. What is your bedtime? Is sex always involved?

Between 9:30 and midnight, and no. C'mon, Beast travels all the time--what would the odds be???

10. Introvert or extrovert?

Mostly introverted. Which no one ever believes ... anymore.

11. What is your biggest fear?

Being 'discovered.'

12. What is the best job you ever had?

I'm pretty happy with the one I have right now. It's good not having a boss. lol

13. Dog person/cat person/both/neither?

I prefer dogs over cats, but I'm allergic to both (cats are worse), so neither. I do like animals of all kinds a lot though.

14. If you had $1,000 to spend any way you wanted, what would you do with it?

Plane tickets for a specific person.

15. How do you "dress" your toast?

I rarely have toast, but when I do I either just add some oleo to it, or oleo and honey.

16. How do you feel about snow?

It's pretty, as long as I'm not responsible for moving it around in great swaths.

17. What was the worst job you ever had?

Several of the temp jobs I had were pretty awful.

18. What song can you not stop listening to?

I try really hard to NOT overplay songs anymore. Too much good stuff to listen to!!

19. Love your name or hate it?

I like it. Used to HATE. IT. I enjoy the confusion it causes, though, nowadays.

20. How did you choose your blog/twitter handle?

I started with my (real) name, then used "The Cataloger" which got tedious to type, so I shortened it to "The Cat." and then just "Cat."

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The OC 25 Meme

1. What is your origin of your first name? What about any nicknames? My sisters named me after a friend. We all have names that are difficult to shorten (mine's the easiest), and my parents did not countenance nicknames.

2. Have you any claims to fame? Absolutely none.

3. If you were famous, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you? I wouldn't be famous for a million dollars.

4. Which of your country's achievements do you hold in highest regard? I love that people still expect to U.S. to support the Little Guy. I know from the inside, and from some outsiders, we have a lot of mud on our face, but people still do love the idea of "the land of the free" at least.

5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Older.

6. What was your most prized possession as a child? Do you still have it? Depends on what age. I no longer have my Barbie, but I did eventually get my Laura books back (they were 'donated' to my oldest nieces without my approval when I was about 13). I don't have Snake anymore, but I have most of the posters (from Tiger Beat & Teen Beat) that graced my walls as a teen.

7. What would you change about yourself, if you could? I would have more focus.

8. What are you obsessed with? RDA, which is just annoying.

9. What is your greatest achievement so far, or the high point of your career?  (oops, missed this one) My greatest achievement is not ruining my son; he's turning out to be a pretty cool guy.  Career-wise, I have no idea--this is not my goal at work, I guess.

10. When/where were you happiest? The summer of 1975 was absolutely wonderful. I stayed with my sister and her family for 5 weeks while my parents went overseas to see another sister. I didn't really have to answer to Ellen the way I did to my mom--not that she was permissive, but it was just more laid back.

11. And the lowest point in your life thus far? This past year has pretty much sucked since we got back from Italy and England last April. Two family funerals, 3 overnight stays at the hospital for Beast, plus a couple more where he was only in the ER briefly. I had my own ER visit last April too. Sparky heading to college without any real focus on my part. Work has been one low-morale day after another for the whole staff. I haven't felt connected to my real life for over a year.

12. What was the best decision you ever made? Getting married to Beast, and having a baby with him.

13. If you have any body modifications, which was most painful, or which do you regret the most? If you haven't got any, do you have any planned, or would you ever consider getting any? The only body modifications I've had have not been planned ahead, although you could argue that childbirth was a choice I made. I have pierced ears which were no big deal. I had braces--they were not fun. I've had surgery: that totally sucked.

14. What is the most idiotic thing you have ever done while intoxicated? Having "one more."

15. What is your favorite joke? Three dancers walk into a bar...

16. What is the coolest/most impressive thing you own? Hmm. I don't know. I don't really buy things to impress people. I like most everything in my house, I like my car.... Meh.

17. When did you last cry, and why? I teared up during the worship service this morning. I actually cried at the end of Tenebrae after holding it together for the whole of the service...till Amazing Grace started playing.

18. What's the best piece of advice you've ever had? "Don't pick up snakes."

19. Similarly, what's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for you? Listening. And telling me things I don't know about myself.

20. Have you any vices? Nothing that doesn't involve sugar.

21. Do you regret anything? Only about everything. I try, and mostly succeed, not to dwell on it.

22. What is the best invention ever? Central heat and A/C.

23. How would you describe your relationship with your family? Distant (my birth family). Male-based (my household).

24. Who is your biggest inspiration? Smart people's words.

25. What are you going to do when you've finished Sunday Stealing? Take off my socks--my feet are hot--and go get some jelly beans from the kitchen.