Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Cannon Fodder Questions

1. Is there someone you'd like to be kissing right now?

I actually did just kiss Beast before I sat down. He's having a crabby day, and as I type this he's taking his next round of mega-painkillers. That should help, but it also means he'll probably be asleep in half an hour or so.

2. When you're being extremely quiet, what does it mean?

It either means I'm concentrating on something or I'm really fucking pissed at you. Or I'm asleep.

3. What are you listening to right now?

The TV is on--Men Turning Left in Texas--so I hear car engines and the guys talking. The front door is open so I also hear birds and random people noise from outside. And I'm doing laundry, so the ejector pump just came on.

4. Are you a big fan of thunderstorms?

I am not afraid of thunder. I'm not a fan of lightning, however.

5. Do you believe in perfect?

Not in this world, nope.

6. Are you a jealous person?

Heh. No.

7. What was the first thing you thought this morning?

"Ugh. How many times can I hit 'snooze'?" Pretty much the same every day.

8. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?

As little as possible. I focus on breathing--a CPAP helps with that--and if I can't shut my brain off, I sing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" in my head.

9. Are you satisfied with what you have in life?

Yes.

10. Do people ever think that you're either older or younger than you actually are?

I have no idea. My hair color indicates my age pretty accurately however: dark brown turning gray.

11. Do you think men truly understand women?

I'm not even convinced this is a thing, but see question #2. I think it's just that men aren't really conditioned or expected to try to understand others.

12. How about women understanding men?

I think for the most part, yeah, we girls have got your number, guys. Of course, we're also often self-delusional about you-all.

13. Did anybody ever call you handsome or beautiful?

Ha ha ha ha ha.

14. What is one fact about the last person that called you?

The last person who called me is one of those people who will be late to her own funeral.

15. Other than your current one, tell us about the longest relationship you have had either a romance or a particular good friend.

I have friends from, literally, 45 years ago. What do you want to know about them? I know quite a lot of dirt, especially on one of the two people I'm thinking of.

The Sassy Questions

1. If you could say anything you wanted to say to Donald Trump, what would you say?

Words would fail to express my thoughts to him accurately, or appropriately. Can I just throw up on his (not-made-in-America) ugly-ass tie?

2. If you had to be the mother of Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, who would you choose and why?

That's an interesting question. I think Britney would, these days, be a lot calmer to hang out with. I've never really cared for Lindsay, even before she went off the deep end.

3. You get to be Queen for a day. The kids are all taken care of, and you can spend as much money as you want. What do you do all day?

There's not a lot of stuff I can think of that only lasts a day. Maybe going up in a private jet and flying around in 100% cushiness?

4. Is there a song that brings tears to your eyes every time you hear it? If so, which one?

There are some hymns at church that remind me of specific people every time I hear them. "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" is one of them. "Morning Has Broken" is another. The Bach organ toccata that is often used in old horror flicks is on my list too, though not because of movies.

5. A fairy taps you on the shoulder and tells you that you can either have a perfect face or a perfect body for the rest of your life. Which do you choose?

Body. If "perfect" means no breaking, no illness, and no pain, I'm in!

6. If you could live any place in the world and money was no object, where would you live and why?

More and more my answer is "not in this country." I've seriously considered looking for a job in England. It's just that a) I'm too lazy to do that, and b) public libraries there are in even worse shape than here.

7. What is your biggest regret in life?

Not learning to fly a plane.

8. If you could go back and visit one person in your life who is now dead, and ask one question, what would that question be and why would you ask it?

I'd love to spend some quality time with all three of the grandparents who were alive when I was born. They all died within the next 10-11 years and I have almost no real memories of them at all.

9. If you had the choice to age forward (like we are now) or aging backwards (think Benjamin Buttons) which would you choose and why?

I'm okay with the way time works. I'm too tired right now to think about aging backwards.

10. What will the epitaph on your headstone say?

Funny you should ask. I told Beast this morning--after he read a headline in overnight news to me--that I want "I HATE PEOPLE!" on my tombstone. I've been saying it almost non-stop since January 20.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The King of the Beasts Meme

1. Would you post a picture of you for us?

Probably not. I'm pretty incognito here. Oh, all right. If you insist.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Hell no! Just the mere thought of dealing with 18-year-old...ugh.

3. Do you prefer to work with women or men? Why?

I have spent my career working mostly with women. I often think a superfluity of men might be a nice change.

4. Do you have any opposite sex friends?

Yes I do. I even have an intersex friend. [I'm not a fan of this question]

5. Can you commit to one person?

I've been married for 29 years and 355 days. Any guesses?

6. If you’re married or in a relationship have you ever been tempted to cheat?

Not seriously. Nope.

7. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018?

Probably not. Maybe? Who knows, really?

8. If the person you are interested in says they like someone else, what would try to sway them?

I'd be pissed. Forget "sway"--I'd be busy throwing his ass to the curb.

9. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Better than I used to be, but I also care less than I did when I was younger. Mostly I'm in hiding at work every day all day, and let it all out everywhere else.

11. When was the last time you cried?

This past week, I think? I don't remember. It happens so often it's a bit hard to track.

12. Have you ever fell for someone you didn’t expect to?

Oh, the grammar! Ack. And yes. Bigtime. Quote from me in high school: "I'd never date a football player!!" Hah.

13. What is something you have to do tomorrow?

Get up and go to work. Call Angela to make an appointment to talk about wills. That's two things.

14. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I'm not getting a great deal accomplished. And I feel a little guilty about bailing on a social commitment that starts in half an hour.

15. Have you ever wanted more from one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

....plock

16. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Of course.
...so basically the person who wrote this basically WAS 18, which makes that first question a lot less icky....

17. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Beast of course.

18. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yup.

19. When was the last time that you were jealous in a romance situation?

Eons.

20. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

It would have been nice if 1994 hadn't rolled out the way it did. But it did, and I survived somehow.

21. Did you have a good day yesterday? What did you do?

Beast and I spent Friday night in the town where Sparky lives, which is also where we went to college. Yesterday we helped him move The Big Stuff--furniture, bed, TV--out of his old apartment and into his new place. The apartment he's leaving is adorable and cool, but his roommate has been a nightmare. I hadn't visited while he lived there, and OMG the kitchen! OMG OMG OMG. I'm not a clean-freak at all, but eew the smell alone was unreal. His new one smells strongly of smoke, and looks like 1977 never really went away. But he's his own boss now--so maybe the kitchen won't stink when I see him next.

22. If a person you had wished you could have a relationship with for a long time and you suddenly found yourself together alone, what would you be doing right now?

Correcting the wording of this question because it will take that long to figure out....

23. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

I can be a bit obsessive, yes.

24. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

It was Beast, so.

25. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? Is it a good or bad thing?

It's better. Mostly. Not always, not permanently, but overall better.

... it stays with you

(from the Aimster)

Have you ever been to Legoland®?

Perish the thought! We have a Lego (technically, Duplo) table at work, and I think I've developed a strong repulsion toward the firm because of all the cleanup I've had to do around it over the years. Not to mention the zillions of pieces I've picked up at home. And at other kids' houses when I've babysat. ...I used to like Legos, too.

Have you ever done something heroic?

Nothing I would consider heroic. I suppose the definition of heroic is rather malleable though, so what I would call heroic might not fit your concept of it. And vice versa.

Have you ever built a snowman?

Considering I've lived in snowy climates my entire life, I've created surprisingly few of these. Like, maybe two?

Do you have any lucky items, objects or traditions?

I keep my one-year coin in my wallet and take it out occasionally to ponder. I should get a two-year coin next month. I always have Chapstick (or something like it) in my right front pants pocket. I actually feel a little freaked out if it's not there--this is a 25-year or more habit. I think I may have some other tics that I'm totally unaware of.

Do you have any superstitions?

There is a patron whose name NO ONE is allowed to speak at work! Somehow, whenever we mention that "E.E." hasn't been seen in awhile ... she shows up within the next 48 hours. There are some other work things that we all subscribe to. I do touch wood when I say something that might bring bad luck.

What's your favourite Movie quote?

" I don't patronize bunny rabbits." (Heathers)

Do you wear sunglasses indoors to look cool or stylish?

Nope. I don't actually own sunglasses per se.

Are you a hat person?

I like hats, but I really hate hat-hair, so I don't wear them very often at all.

Do you prefer digital or rotary/analogue clocks?

I'm not fussy. I do, however, like clocks to either match exactly with the rest of those in the building, or be set differently ON PURPOSE. For instance, the clock on my nightstand is set, intentionally, 10 minutes ahead of 'real time.' All the clocks at work say something different. It makes me nuts.

Have you ever been to a gym?

WTF? What planet did you grow up on that you didn't have to take gym class every goddamn year of your educational career?!
Of course. I've also been to a YMCA and a couple of workout centers. I am so very worldly.

Have you ever been wolf-whistled in public?

Yes. Ugh. The first time was when I was, like, 11 and sitting in my front yard. {{shudder}}

Have you ever been approached by someone who knew you but you couldn't remember them for the life of you?

Yes. Well, technically, no. Lots of people recognize me, some of them legitimately know me from work. I'm horrible at faces and names though so that does happen. And then there are the people who ask me if I used to live in [town I've never heard of] because I look just like the [grocery store clerk, school principal, librarian, whatever] there. It freakin' happened at the DOCTOR last week for cryin' out loud!

What do you do to keep fit?

I don't.

How often do you wash your ears?

Every time I wash my hair.

Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship?

As I've said before, I'm sure Beast would frown upon this arrangement. If there were no Beast in my life, I would think it would be pretty much impossible for me to date someone suitable who didn't have kids. At this point, said kids would likely be adults. It would be interesting.

How much would it cost to buy your love?

Depends on the day. Today, 50 cents and my phone number might do it.

What's the scariest thing you've ever done?

Hospitalizations count, right? Also, dealing with some of the bullshit Beast has pulled over the last 5 years has been ... harder than anything I could've imagined.

Lazy Easter Sunday

(Swiped from Amy)

Have you ever had a dream that you chased only to be let down when you achieved it?

Not "let down" per se but this whole Being An Adult thing is not as advertised when I was younger. I don't really have high expectations anymore for most things--I tend toward realistic. Maybe cynical? Nah, not really. Just unwilling to live with massive, preventable disappointment.

Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand or comprehend?

Well, the whole peeing standing up thing is complicated as far as I can tell, seeing as how it seems far more difficult than it sounds to hit a fairly good-sized target with any degree of regularity. Otherwise, men aren't any weirder than women, except for their general lack of a clue about women. ;-)

Who was your favourite teacher at school and why?

I struggle with this question because I had pretty excellent teachers throughout my educational career; it would be MUCH easier to list the crappy ones! I even had good Sunday School teachers. It's been fun, thanks to Facebook, to get to know some of these folks as people now that we're all adults. Supposedly.

What's your favourite party game?

Depends on the party. I love Sheepshead, but it isn't something most people can deal with. Poker is fun. Apples to Apples is fun. Whatever. I will play almost any game.

Is it acceptable or unacceptable to smack a child as form of discipline?

Sure. Punching is not ok. Slapping isn't even ok. But the occasional butt-swat is called for, as an attention-getting device. Note that word "occasional"--if you're doing it more than 5 times a week--depending a little on age and the personality of the child--you aren't doing it right.

Can a heterosexual male ever wear pink?

Sure. My dad wore pink. He was definitely hetero. How can I be sure? He wore a pink shirt with an orange-and-green plaid sport coat. {kidding}

Is it criminal to wear socks with sandals?

It's rather silly-looking, but some feet are not ready for public viewing. On the other hand, being comfortable around those you love gives people a bit of a free pass on Ugly Feet Syndrome.

If you were captain of a ship, what would you call it?

Lollipop. Question back though: since when do captains get to name their own ships?

If you were to join an emergency service which would it be?

Probably EMT. I would suck at fire/rescue, and being a cop doesn't really work for me either.

If you were to join one of the armed forced which would it be?

At this point, none of them would have me. However, back in the day, the only one I would have seriously considered was the Air Force.

What's the worst thing about being your gender?

The bleeding every month thing, when it was a thing for me, really just sucked. Not just the hassle, but the hormonal stuff and generally feeling like shit on a plate at least 2-3 days every month.

What's the best thing about being your gender?

Being pregnant.

If you swapped genders for a day how would you spend it?

Working out the Pee Mystery--though surely that wouldn't take all day. Would it? So I'd just spend my day as usual, otherwise. I mean, being male wouldn't change my ability to do my job. I'm not a pregnancy surrogate or anything.

Swiped from Amy

...who answered it here

*WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

Cried?

About an hour ago, watching the end of last week's NCIS. Oy, absolutely depressing. Also, I love Abby.

Laughed?

We're now watching a taped episode of Who's Line Is It Anyway? I just guffawed and clapped when Ryan threw his date out of the car for being Baptist...and a werewolf.

Swore?

All the time. hah Actually, I don't think I've done any angry swearing today at all. It's been a very good day.

Lied?

Yesterday. I lie on a regular basis while doing shifts at Reference: "Why, yes, that is fascinating information!" "Of course that question isn't stupid."

Got drunk?

Probably at least 8 or 9 months. Certainly before October.

Read a newspaper?

Just finished the local weekly this evening.

Read your horoscope?

I can't remember the last time I read it with actual intent. If there's nothing else to read in a magazine, I have been known to read through them all and roll my eyes. By the way, have I ever mentioned that I used to do people's star charts?

Had a bath/shower?

Had a quick shower this morning, but didn't wash my hair.

Had a cold?

Sometime this winter. But allergy season has arrived, so there's that.

Smiled at someone?

Bloody hell: ALL the damn time. I've been smiling at Beast ... and the show remains funny.

Gave someone a cuddle?

I have seen some lovely young people lately who've been cuddled appropriately.

Said, 'I love you'?

Earlier today when Beast left to get the first load of cra...stuff from Sparky's dorm room.

*PEOPLE YOU KNOW

Who's the nicest?

Fran.

Who's the funniest?

...I know too many funny people to pick just one.

Who's the most annoying?

It's a tie: J. or T. at work.

Who's the best looking?

Sarah O.

Who's the weirdest?

Brian.

Who's the chattiest?

Melissa.

Who's the quietest?

Amy.

Who's the most outrageous?

Jet.

Who's the shyest?

Kelly.

Who's the kindest?

Annie.

Who's the idiot?

...that could be me...

Who's the friendliest?

Cheryl.

Who's the best?

All of them in their own ways.

*THE OPPOSITE SEX

What is a turn on?

A confident walk.

What is a turn off?

Sexism. I am not on earth for your entertainment, boys.

What physical feature are you attracted to the most?

Shoulders.

Best pick-up line?

...does not exist. Be honest or go home.

What's the best thing about having a steady date?

Not having to find someone to go places with. Also, having someone else do the chores around the house you don't like doing. Assuming they aren't the same chores as that person hates.

What's the most irritating thing about them?

The little things: not closing doors, leaving on lights, leaving the toilet seat up, wearing clothes with holes in them (not all of these are about Beast)....

Could you live without it?

Without "it"? "It" meaning...? Having a steady date? Whatever. Of course I could, unless by "it" you mean air, water, food, shelter or other things on Maslow's lower levels of need.

Describe your ideal partner.

Confident, friendly, kind, willing to admit mistakes, able to express emotions honestly, healthy-ish, forward-thinking. Also, tall, smart, funny, and technologically adept.

Friday 5

(Link in meme-roll)
Mother Goose, May I?

1. Have you any wool?

   Not much. I'm somewhere between allergic and sensitive to lanolin, so I don't wear a lot of straight wool.

2. How mony men have ye?

   Well, there's Beast. And Sparky. And Ruka and Pinto, but they're technically not men, unless rodents can be men....

3. How does your garden grow?

   In December? Not so well outside, and I'm afraid I've killed a Marley recently indoors. :(

4. Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?This week has been...trying. I've been just getting through the days, one slog at a time.
5. What are little boys made of?

   "Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails"...and dirt and B.O. and a lot of shoving and general physicality. Except, y'know, for those boys who are NOT AT ALL like that. But in my house...the stereotype is true. ...sigh.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Potential New Boyfriend

Unfamiliar with this week's featured song? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Dolly Parton locks eyes with a definite maybe. What's the first thing that attracts you to a potential new boyfriend or girlfriend? If you're currently in a relationship, what first attracted you to your partner?

Shoulders. And presence.

2) When Dolly was still a very young girl, she met Johnny Cash, who told her to follow her instincts and pursue a music career. Obviously this worked out very well for her. What's the best advice you ever received?

My dad told me one day when I didn't want to go to school that we all have things we don't want to do that need to be done. He was on his way to bankruptcy court that day. I went to school. We both lived through it.

3) Dolly enjoys telling interviewers how she met her husband at the Wishy-Washy Laundromat in Nashville. Do you have a load of dirty clothes, or some other household chore, waiting for you after you finish this week's Saturday 9?

There is laundry to be done. I have a long list of things I should be doing. Like...reading.

4) Dolly's Imagination Library is a charity devoted to children's literacy. What book did you enjoy as a kid? Or, if you're a parent, what book did you enjoy sharing with your own children?

I read incessantly as a child. I read incessantly to him when Sparky was a kid. There are too many books to list here, but I enjoy the Little House series and Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, and hundreds of others.

5) Dolly's theme park, Dollywood, is a very popular vacation destination. When you have time off, would you rather travel or have friends/relatives visit you?

Well, first of all, I won't be going to Dollywood. I'd rather travel, but not there.

6) Dolly is godmother to Miley Cyrus. If you could advise Miley, what would you say?

I would tell her to do whatever she needs to to to be the best person she can be. And don't listen to haters.

7) Dolly has earned a reputation for being very warm and friendly to the public. Have you ever had a celebrity encounter?

Nope, not so much.

8) As you can see by the photo, this song was originally released on vinyl. Do you still have any old-school LPs or 45s?

I do. I have both, downstairs, waiting to be transferred to CD in my free time.

9) Sam simply cannot stand Dish TV's Hopper commercial, where hysterical grown men hide under the bed and up in a tree house because they're afraid of ... something. What commercial just bugs the beejeesus out of you?

That one is ridiculous. I fast-forward during the ads usually (when I can), but there are so many ambulance-chasing, reverse mortgage, shrill ads on IonTV during Criminal Intent and Cold Case that I'm about to hire the teams from both shows to dig up some dirt on the people in those ads just to shut them up for awhile.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Twilight Zone
Unfamiliar with this week's featured song? Hear it here.

1) This is one of the first songs to see a bump in sales after its video was shown on MTV. Do you ever watch music videos?

Not anymore. I'm not really aware of them still being a 'thing' except on YouTube which I'm old enough to think doesn't really count.

2) Golden Earring is from the Netherlands. The average life expectancy there is 79 years old. Who is the oldest person you know?

It pretty much has to be someone at church, maybe Fran? I don't ask people's ages, but I'm pretty sure she's got to be at least 90. I used to know some centenarians, but that was when I was delivering library books to shutins a decade ago.

3) The song's composer says the song and especially the video were inspired by the 1980 book, The Bourne Identity. The espionage thriller was finally made into a movie with Matt Damon in 2002. Do you have a favorite secret agent/spy?

Not from the movies. There have been some good espionage books I've read, but generally I prefer straight mysteries. I assure you, even though I've read several Dan Brown's books, that Robert Langdon is NOT a favorite much of anything for me!

4) The song's title comes from "The Twilight Zone" TV show, which ran from 1959 to 1964. Are there any old shows that you enjoy watching in reruns?

I love old TZ reruns! Also, "Bewitched", "I Dream of Jeannie", "Gilligan's Island" and "Star Trek" (both TV series).

5) "All guys cheat on their girlfriends, so yeah, I forgive him." Sam heard a young woman say that into her phone as they waited in line at the drugstore. While Sam is always surprised by how much personal information people share in the public, that's not what we're concentrating on this morning. Do you think that it's true? Do all guys cheat on their girlfriends?

No that's just stupid. She is seriously underestimating men, to her detriment. Let's hope she figures things out and doesn't have any children in the meantime.

6) Whenever Sam goes to the grocery store she picks up Snausages because her dog looks at her with sad eyes when she tries to reward him anything else. What product has your brand loyalty?

Well, the NFL (since it's football season/night) of course. Dr. Pepper. Brownberry (although it's now owned by Bimbo) not only because I love their oatmeal bread, but because one of my best friends works there. Oh, and Charmin. We used to always buy Scott, but switched to "red" Charmin a few years ago.

7) Do you have a piggy bank or a coin jar?

I have a piggy bank that's approximately 15" tall in which all our foreign change ends up. Otherwise, we have a couple places where coins go to ... hibernate I guess ... but Beast emptied them out last night for Noisy Can Offering at church today. The kids made so much that the superintendent (who is not a weakling) could barely lift the soup pot to carry it off the chancel.

8) Sam knows that she's always supposed to wear sunscreen, even on cloudy days, but she sometimes forgets. What do you know you should do, but sometimes don't?

Eat properly. Actually, I almost never manage to do that (hello, Chicken Kiev for dinner tonight!). Also, well, so many other things.

9) Retailers report that sales of Halloween costumes for grown-ups are strong. Since Halloween was earlier this week and there will be parties this weekend ... What's your costume for Halloween 2013? If you aren't dressing up this year, tell us about one of your favorite outfits from a Halloween gone by.

I didn't have a costume. And I don't really enjoy thinking up costumes anyway. So, yeah. Some good costumes on the older kids this year, for a change--some years they come begging for candy dressed as themselves. Yes, I see the contradictions everywhere in this answer! lol

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Two Memes in One Meme Meme - Happy Easter!

1: Who is your favorite Musical Artist from when you were a teenager?

I really loved the Bee Gees. And Billy Joel. Hey, I still do. Or, if they aren't Musically Artistic enough for you, I'll go with The Alan Parsons Project.

2: Who is your favorite game show host?

Chuck Woollery, of course. Though I loved Peter Marshall on Hollywood Squares and Gene Rayburn on Match Game. Burt Convy was pretty good too, even if Tattletales was really bad. And Alex Trebek on many of the really old, bad gameshows...and of course Bob Eubanks on The Newlywed Game was outstanding. No one since has matched him blank stare for blank stare.

3: Who is your Favorite Blog hosting service?

More German-style Capitalization....
I've used Blogger since I started back 9 years ago or so. I tried Wordpress and a few others, but always have come back to Blogger.

4: If you could meet anyone again from your childhood, who would it be?

Sticking with those likely to (mostly) still be alive, I would love to have a church youth group reunion to see what some of those clowns are up to now. ;-)

5: Where did you want to live when you were growing up?

"Far away from my parents." Mom and I clashed too much for me to want to stay in the vicinity. And everyone else in my family had moved away from the area when they grew up, so I guess I thought it was the "done thing" for us. I didn't take into account that I'd miss the mountains at least as much as I missed my parents.

6: What is the most interesting piece of Trivia that you know?

I'm a librarian: there is no such thing as boring trivia!! C'mon--my knowledge is miles wide and an inch deep, so I know random strange facts about everything from how siphons work (and the general principle behind moving water over mountains) to the author of the Dork Diaries. [two recent reference questions] I also can tell you who wrote "the fairy books" (Daisy Meadows) and the "Alphabet Mysteries" (Sue Grafton) and what the call number for basketball is (796.323). And that Sandy Koufax was left-handed, and where all the czars but one are buried (the church in the fortress of Sts. Peter & Paul near The Hermitage, a.k.a, the former Imperial Palace, in what is now St. Petersburg again).
Bored? Not me. I could go on and on....but I won't.

7: If you could live in any point of history when would it be and why?

Now. I need the meds, and as a woman things haven't ever been better.

8: What is the most interesting job you have ever had?

My current one is hands-down the most bizarre. Most interesting in the "well, that is off the list of long-term careers" was the summer I temped: both receptionists and food industry (hard-core food prep) workers have impossible jobs; one because it's beyond boring, and the other because of me being a klutz and the real possibility of injury from burns and sharp things.

9. Please share one middle school memory. It can be good, bad, ugly, funny. Pictures or words, I don't care, just share.

I don't have post-able pictures from that era (thank God!!). Mrs. White's 7th grade English class--for which we had to memorize a list of about 70 prepositions: about above across after against below beneath beyond....--was great fun. I sat near my crush, Joel, at the time who was "cute" in all the late-70s-appropriate ways. He brought a whoopee cushion to class one day and several people (NOT me) were subjected to mega-farts prior to the bell. That thing was flying all over the room before people got settled...and then Mrs. White confiscated it for the duration of class. In spite of looking like she would eat you alive if you didn't get your verb-noun pairings right, she was actually a very cool teacher.

10. What's your favorite Beatles song?

Depends entirely on the day. I like "Rocky Raccoon" and "Let It Be" and "She Loves You" and all of Sgt. Pepper about equally, to name a few that pop in to my head.

11. If I asked you to describe your most comfortable outfit, what would it be?

Pajamas. I have some unbelievably comfy flannel PJs....

12. Would you rather host a party or be a guest?

I prefer hosting, generally.

13. Do you think we will move completely from traditional books to digital ones, and if we do, are you OK with that?

I think there will a place for both in the future. In the immediate future, paper books will continue until the ebook platforms standardize enough so that there's none of this Kindle-jacking of the big-names: books only available through Amazon, or readable by a Kindle. And of course publishers have to figure out the business model for ematerial. Right now, there are 6 major publishers that essentially are trying to screw over libraries over digital rights since libraries can keep books forever especially electronically. So why would 'we' (libraries) ever buy the same book again? We'd never have to replace anything because it wore out or whatever. It's a mess, and publishers are where the music industry was about ten years ago playing a losing game of Keep-Away while their profits dwindle.
Another topic you probably don't want me to get started on, eh?

14. Do you learn best by reading, listening or experiencing?

If it's a task that I need to learn, it's all about doing it; watching and listening doesn't really work for me. If it's a concept, I'm good with hearing or reading, but both is better.

15. If you are (or when you were) single, what is the kiss of death for you concerning the opposite sex? (That is, what is one trait or behavior or habit or anything at all that immediately turns you off from considering that person a potential match for you?)

Being a sexist pig is a death-knell.

16. Snacks. Salty or sweet?

Yes. Not at once though. ;-) You all know I'm a sugar-fiend. Give me iced sugar cookies or give me death!

17. Look around you in a four foot radius. What object is around you that you didn't realize was there or forgot was there? How long has it been there?

Hmm, I seem to still have Amy's Who Are You? book....guess that should go back to her someday. Otherwise, I'm pretty aware of the stack o' shit which needs sorting out and tidying before the house gets full-on cleaned tomorrow.

18. What is your favorite Tom Cruise movie?

"Risky Business." No close competition. "Sometimes you just have to say, "What the fuck?"

19. You buy a bottle of shampoo and discover that you don't like what it does to your hair at all. What do you do with that full bottle?

Give it to the women's shelter. Or just finish it up.

20. Your favorite spring comfort food?

Uhm, see #16. I'm not really a seasonal eater.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Same Old Lang Syne

1) This week's song is the tale of an accidental holiday encounter between former lovers. (Hear it here.) They sit in her car and spend hours catching up, then she gives him a chaste kiss and they never see one another again. Is there a past love who still has a special spot in your heart, despite the years or the miles since your relationship?

Well, of course. Not that I would want to spend hours catching up with some of them, but they are all in my heart, along with other people I love(d).

2) This week's song includes a play on the traditional Scottish song, "Auld Lang Syne." Have you ever visited Scotland?

Yes. Beautiful place. I would love to go back.

3) Mother Winters has long told Sam that if she has a glass of water for every glass of champagne she drinks on New Year's Eve, she'll feel better on New Year's Day. Do you have a favorite hangover prevention tip or cure?

My favorite hangover prevention tip is to have one glass of whatever, at most, and be finished. Better if you just drink water without the champagne.

4) Do you like champagne?

Actually, I can't drink cheap-ass champagne at all anymore having gotten the sick-drunkest I ever was on the stuff. The mere smell of it....gahhh. I like the good (expensive) stuff, but I'm pretty careful with it.

6) This year at midnight, Crazy Sam will kiss the nose of her puppy, Chico. Will you be kissing anyone when the clock strikes 12?

I'll probably be in bed, asleep. Otherwise, I'll be laughing at the local anchors--two years ago one of them was incredibly high/drunk/inappropriate--and kissing Beast and Sparky, assuming they're awake. And if I do last till midnight, I'll be up till 1 since there will be fireworks shot off in the vicinity. Yeah, imagine that: fireworks, in our neighborhood. ...sigh

6) The Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy was the runaway publishing phenomenon of 2012. It was so successful that the publisher, Random House, was able to give its employees massive bonuses this year. Have you read it?

I read about a page of the first one, total, skipping around a bit. Let's just say that my reaction was about the same as tasting cheap champagne. I'd rather read a cereal box.

7) Year-end is a time for newspapers, magazines and websites to run lists. According to Askmen.com, Jennifer Lawrence of The Hunger Games is the at the of the year's "Most Desirable Woman" list. People magazine has declared Channing Tatum "The Sexiest Man Alive -- 2012." Do either of these two set your pulse racing? If not, who is your celebrity crush?

Um, let's see: I don't think Jennifer Lawrence is that pretty--she's got a little of that early Renee Zellweger squinty thing going on. BUT she is an excellent actress, and stunning in The Hunger Games, which is more important to me anyway. Channing Tatum is young enough (and ridiculous enough) to be my son. Yuck. It's really the ridiculousness that makes him unpalatable, I suppose, since there are a few other young guys (Jake Gyllenhaal, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, etc.) that don't make me want to scratch them behind the ears and tell them to behave. Otherwise, I'll stay with the standards: Brad Pitt, Mark Harmon, and Denzel Washington.

8) Pasadena, California, is known for hosting the traditional Rose Parade. It begins at 8:00 AM on January 1, so the people who watch it live must be there very early. Does the thought of getting up and dressed to sit in the California sun, bright and early on New Year's morning appeal, to you?

Yes. I'd go in a heartbeat. I was there IN the parade in 1980. Someday I'd like to see it from the stands....

9) Sometimes aches and pains that aren't serious can still really hurt. For example, Sam just dropped a can of tomato paste on her foot and the little red mark it left is making her crazy! Are you suffering through a bump or bruise or cut right now?

I somehow cut the base of my palm opposite my thumb earlier this week--just a paper cut. That was annoying for a couple of days, but otherwise I think I'm fairly unblemished. I had a KILLER headache yesterday all day: from 10 until 3 I downed 2 aspirin, then 2 Tylenol, then 2 Advil about two hours apart...and STILL it raged on. I think it has abated today, though I can still feel it pacing around behind my forehead, waiting to be released.
Oddly enough, two other people went home sick yesterday--one with "general malaise" the other with a migraine + GERD. Maybe it's sick building syndrome.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Not So Manly Meme

1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Bikinis? Commando?

I do like boy-shorts, but usually wear regular (girl) briefs or bikinis. Thongs are the invention of the devil, and commando is gross.

2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?

I've tried to de-fuss as much as possible, but I try very hard not to put on deodorant until I've been out of the shower for at least 10 minutes. Otherwise, I can't think of anything much I fuss about, especially in girl terms.

3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?

There are just so very many ways to go here that are 100% snarky that I can't decide which one to go with. So I'll just say that I really do like screwdrivers, manual if-you-please.

4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?

I could probably figure it out if I wanted to. Beast has always done it for all the cars we've owned. If he weren't here I'd take it to Bob (our regular repair guy) or JiffyLube.

5. What’s the "manliest / 'womanliest" thing you do on a regular basis?

I hate this question on principle. I'm kind of the least "womanly" woman you're likely to meet, and I'm clearly not manly.

6. What’s something "manly" that you never learned how to do?

Pee standing up.

7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?

What isn't my trigger?? I cry all the time. Less than say 10 years ago, though, so by the time I'm dead I'll probably have stopped completely. Today it was the music, the fellowship, and a baptism.

8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself?

Uhm. I hold doors for people...?

9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself?

...I'm getting irritated... I'm sure there are times when I'm adamant that certain people act in a certain way, but I really try NOT to do this, at least not SERIOUSLY!

10. What’s your favorite movie?

"Heathers"

11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever seen?

War, any war but especially the one in Iraq, ranks right up there.

12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality?

Trustworthiness, dependability, kindness, strength of character. I have lots of these characteristics, but they don't often show up at the appropriate times or amounts.... By the way, these are the same qualities that make good women. Just to be clear.

13. Toilet seat up or down?

I don't really give a shit (ha ha), but Beast prefers it down along with the lid.

14. If your significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)?

I tend to nosh when Beast travels. I definitely don't cook, unless it's a matter of heating up leftovers in the microwave.

15. What societal expectation of being a man / women do you most resent?

I'm not a fan of societal expectations of any kind that are based on gender.

16. What’s the best part - societal-wise - about being a man / women?

See previous answer.

17. Will you stop to ask for directions?

Of course. I've done it before, and I'm sure I'll do it again.

18. What’s one thing about your significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try?

I don't understand his drive. He's like the Energizer bunny, with added stubbornness.

19. What do you need to have in the shower?

Well, water, I guess.

20. Do you burp/fart/scratch? Do you do anything stereotypically male?

Yup, all of the above. I swear too. And drink. And wear pants. And watch football games and NASCAR. I think Vogue and Mademoiselle are the stupidest goddamn waste of paper, I hate cooking, and I don't crave jewelry and flowers for every ridiculous occasion. But...yup, just checked: I'm definitely a girl.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Moves Like Jagger

1. Who makes the best moves in your life?

I'm just happy at this point that Beast can actually move at all again!

2. Tell us about a time where you had to be selfish with your time, and felt guilty about it (whether it was time taken from your children or a significant other.

This summarizes motherhood, especially when mom is working outside the house. Many, many times I needed to be two places at once. Let's see: Sparky's first day of school, when his idiotic teacher told him to walk home even though he was supposed to take the daycare van. He ended up sitting outside our empty, locked house till the van found him.

3. Do you feel that you can create more sex appeal or that it's just a given?

Me?? ha ha ha In general I think people are sexiest when they aren't trying too hard to be sexy.

4. Do your religious beliefs really influence your behavior?

I should hope so!!

5. Do you feel there are some things in a significant other that you can't change because of their sex?

I think men are either built or are socialized not to communicate the same was as women. It's a problem. We're working on it.

6. Do you see a younger less secure person when you gaze in the mirror?

No, I see me.

7. If you have ever been pregnant, or have been with a woman who was, how did [a]ffect your sex life?

Well, aside from the last few weeks--i.e., the "hippo phase"--it didn't much.

8. What would you like to work on to become a better person?

I would like to have more push to get things done without having to have a deadline. Mostly in personal stuff, not work-related things.

9. When did you think that you understood the sacrifices that people in the military make on behalf of their country?

I was about 8 when we left Saigon. There was a POW released about that time and a very famous photo of his arrival back in the States shows his family running toward him on the tarmac of the airport. I'm pretty sure that was the first news story I read start to finish. I couldn't imaging living without my dad at that point in my life. And after I read the article, I realized a lot of kids my age were doing just that...forever. Which made me think about the fact that my dad was in the Army Air Corps in WWII, and had he not survived, I wouldn't even exist...it was pretty meta for a kid.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Imaginary Meme, Parts Four & Five

61. Ocean or pool?

I can't swim, so if there's a big deal to be made over the presence of water, I'd prefer it be 'natural' water.

62. Fridays or Ruby Tuesdays?

The nearest Ruby's is easily 35-40 minutes away; Fridays is "merely" 25 minutes from us. However, we are getting a Panera in town; w00t!!

63. Did you want to go to college?

I could not wait to get to college! I started planning on it seriously in 7th grade. "Get me the fuck OUTTA here!!"

64. What did you [do] last time at a mall?

I'm not sure how to answer this. I haven't been to a mall in well over a year, as far as I can remember. That was probably with Amy, which meant talking, wandering, ignoring the guys who wanted us to try out their massage chairs or hyperbaric chambers or whatever, giggling, and yeah, I guess we bought some stuff too.

65. Which close friend have you known the longest?

L. (since I was 5), though she's in Colorado and I'm ... not anymore. B. since freshman year in high school. J. & S. since the first week of freshman year of college. Beast from later that year. And Amy since 2003ish. There are others, but those are the biggest guns.

66. Why do you like the music you do?

"Good beat, easy to dance to." Lyrics? Meh, they're overrated.

67. Do you read much?

Not as much as I should.

68. Favorite country?

I love the U.S. But visiting Canada, the U.K., Italy, Greece, Mexico, and parts of Russia...sigh. I sorta do get homesick for those places I've visited and loved.

69. What is something you wish you were better at?

Remembering things.

70. What’s your favorite album/CD?

There are several of Melissa Etheridge's that I could listen to on repeat most of a day.

71. What's a good dinner order?

I suspect that if you order ANYthing from me, you'll be liable to get egged in a very non-edible sense.

72. Planes or boats?

Automobiles? I think the answer to this question is wholly dependent on where/how far I'm going.

73. One rumor that’s been spread about you:

"Don't make her angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry." This is not an untrue rumor....

74. Who is your newest friend?

Hmmm, I'm not sure. On Facebook, I think it's the oldest son of our current pastor, whom I don't actually know very well. IRL, I guess maybe Sue at church, the 'newest' Sue. Church seems to be filled with Sues, so it matters which one. ;-)

75. Have you ever sat on a rooftop?

Yes. Yes I have. Not for MANY years now, but I have done so.

76. Was your last text useful?

Probably not. I haven't texted today, since I never picked up my phone off the nightstand after getting up this morning. Probably yesterday's last text was something like, "On my way home; cya soon."

77. Favorite soda?

Diet Dr. Pepper, though I call it "pop." Speaking of which, can someone just try to explain this whole "Dr. Pepper Ten" thing to me? Diet Dr. Pepper with 10 calories added back in, and marketed just to men? WTF??!

78. Do you like yourself?

There are days...and then there are other days....

79. The worst weather: Hot or cold?

I'm coming around to preferring cooler weather. I just cannot sleep in warm weather and I generally feel sort of sticky/dirty all the time when it's hot out. As my sister told me nearly 40 years ago, at least when it's cold you can add another layer....

80. Do you play an instrument?

We've covered this elsewhere: flute, some piano, handbells. Kazoo. Owl-hooting hands. I think that's probably all I'm willing to admit to.

81. What’s your favorite action movie?

I do like the Lethal Weapon movies. Die Hard 1 and 2 were good. And the Matrix trilogy.

82. Have (or are) you ever been involved someone much older than you?

Well, only to the extent that they're part of my family. Beast is actually (very) slightly younger than me.

83. Do you believe in lust at first sight?

Of course I do.

84. Favorite type of venomous snake?

OK, props for a brand-new question!! But, "favorite" venomous snake?? I don't really like any venomous snakes on principle.

85. Do you drink alcohol?

Only ethanol, and only good stuff. I sneer at the cheap shit, in general, at this point. If I'm going to drink, which I do rarely, I'm drinking quality.

86. If you wanted to talk to someone who'd lift your spirits, who'd you call?

Rachel. Or Liz. Or Beth. All three work with me.

87. What do you wear to feel sexy?

This is not a feeling I find myself looking for regularly. At all, in fact. So...I probably don't.

88. Do you like to learn?

It's my most favorite thing!!

89. Have you ever been hit on by someone who really overestimated their attractiveness?

Most men seem to be entirely clueless about their overall lack of good points in this area. I have no idea what the deal is here, but yeah, guys, you're just not all that and a bag of chips. [I'd probably go for the chips.]

90. Where did you last go on vacation?

Hmm. I guess the last vacation was our trip to Colorado last July while Sparky was in Germany.

91. Dallas (as in J.R. & Bobby) returns this week. What film or TV series would you loved to be resurrected?

It would be quite weird to see someone try Gilligan's Island, but I wouldn't watch it. My sitcom days are behind me.

92. Explain your karma beliefs.

Don't really believe in karma as such, but I do believe that what you get out of life is in pretty close approximation to what you put into it. If you are a sinkhole of negativity, chances are good that you're going to get handed a lot of that back, or at least you're going to perceive that's what life is about. Doesn't mean that I think bad things ONLY happen to bad people--that's just not true--but it does mean that one's ability to handle bad things is part of knowing how to deal with whatever life throws at you. ... And I think I just completely confused myself!

93. When do you think that you have a hard life?

I don't. Not very often. I try very hard not to dwell on the depressing things that have happened, because really, what's the point of doing that?

94. Favorite comic strip?

Still "Bloom County."

95. Have you ever broken a heart?

I've torn a few, by accident, no doubt.

96. Should pot be legalized?

Yes. YES! A thousand-million times YES!

97. Have you ever gone skinny dipping with someone that you shouldn't have?

I've never gone skinny dipping PERIOD.

98. What do you do when you're down?

Work on my bouncing skills. [actually, I do a lot of crying and beating myself up over things]

99. Last time you were really angry?

Just about exactly 8 days ago I was as angry as I've been in the past, oh, 2-3 years, if not longer. I could say as angry as I've EVER been, but that seems to be a stretch, but I was well past annoyed for sure!

100. What is your favorite flavor in general?

Mint. Plain mint; no chocolate, no vanilla, nothing cute, just mint.

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday 6

1. What caused the oldest scar you have on your body?

The oldest one I'm aware of is on my right knee (though, to be honest, it's so old it's nearly invisible now). I got it while carrying stuff into the house after we ate on the patio one summer evening when I was 8 or 9; I tripped over a piece of the back door threshold that had come loose and fell on it, and it sort of pinched and tore the skin. It's right at the top of the kneecap, about a quarter of an inch square. It hurt like hell and I bled like a stuck pig for awhile. Much screaming. No stitches, just a band aid. That was in the days of not going to the hospital for anything short of loss of consciousness or bones sticking out.

2. When getting dressed, what order do you put on your socks and shoes: sock-sock-shoe-shoe, or sock-shoe-sock-shoe?

Usually socks first then shoes, because usually my shoes only go on at the last minute. I've noticed that doing each foot completely, on the rare occasions that I do that, feels extraordinarily weird.

3. What would be the three qualities you think you’d offer to your significant other?

Honesty, humor, and compassion.

4. How long did it take you to find what you consider to be your "calling" in life, or are you still trying to find it?

I think once someone completely stops looking, s/he might as well roll over and die. Having said that, I knew I wanted to work with books at a pretty young age; nothing else sounded at all fun.

5. What old movie would you like to see someone attempt to update for a modern audience?

NONE of them! Let's have some originality for a change!

6. Do you honestly believe that a man and woman can be “just friends” without it becoming sexual?

Sure. I have dozens of guy friends that not only have I not HAD sex with, but I wouldn't even WANT to have sex with. (eeeuwwww)

Right now...

(Swiped from Kwizgiver)

1. I am thinking … about what I should be doing instead of this.

2. I am thankful for … Beast's laughter.

3. From the kitchen … to the bathroom to the recliner: that's been Beast's track today.

4. I am wearing … a long-sleeve T-shirt and cotton jammy pants.

5. I am creating … a blogpost.

6. I am going … to have to write my report about ALA tomorrow.

7. I am reading … less than I'd hoped this year so far.

8. I am hoping … to hire someone to help clean the house for us now that I'm working full-time.

9. I am hearing … Mike and Frank on American Pickers.

10. Around the house … there are piles of work to be handled.

11. One of my favorite things … is getting into the zone at work. I miss it.

12. A few plans for the rest of the week … work, work, go visit Sparky on his birthday.

13. A picture to share …

Been thinking a lot about Clay today. No clue why. I mean, besides the obvious... ;-)

Monday Mayhem

(Link in meme-roll)
We're Ticked Off!

1. What made ticked off the most yesterday?

Mostly, myself.

2. What ticks you off about your local mail service?

Oh do NOT get me started on this! We actually pay for a p.o. box in the town where I work because our mail delivery here is so psycho. I'm not even going to get started on this one, because my blood pressure will skyrocket.

3. What ticks you off about the opposite sex?

Men tend to 'tough it out' too much, IMHO. I think that's a cultural thing, not a genetic thing, though, so I can't really blame them.

4. What ticks you off about eating out?

"Everything ok?" three minutes after the food has arrived, usually asked while my mouth is too full to answer, or before I've even had a chance to start eating.

5. What ticks you off about the internet?

Bad writing. And flashing .gif images. And the all-around busy-ness that people think makes me want to stay on their site when the exact opposite is true: give me white (or whatever color) space and good font with your intelligent content, please!

6. What famous person really ticks you off?

Just one? Really? This is a total Sophie's Choice question. Today, we'll go with "everyone on FOXsnooze."

7. What ticks you off about people on the road?

Go.The.Freaking.Speed.Limit. Or pull over.

8. Name something about politicians that ticks you off.

Pandering.

9. Tell us about a story you have recently heard that really ticked you off.

So, there's this local woman who disappeared about a year ago while visiting friends several hundred miles south of here. There is a Facebook page dedicated to finding her. And the main people who post on that page are the most opinionated, vindictive, idiotic, self-centered people EVER! Accusations and counter-accusations, 7th-grade "I've Got a Secret" comments, general schoolyard bullying of people who make conciliatory statements. It's like a freaking soap opera of the worst kind: The Real Housewives of [My] County. Sigh. I should just quit, but I really want to know when (if, really at this point) they find her.

10. Are you feeling less ticked off now?

No, actually, just the opposite. :-P

W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Bert & Ernie may be left-handed but they're not gay

1) Today (Aug. 12) is National Middle Child's Day. What is your placement in your family's birth order?

I am unequivocally the baby. But because I was so long after the other kids (10 years between me and my bro), I'm also almost an only.

2) Tomorrow (Aug. 13) is International Left-handers' Day. Are you right-handed, left-handed or ambidextrous?

Right-handed. My left arm is pretty much there only for balance (and today, to cause me great pain in my back...sigh).

3) Are there any weird combinations of food that you love to consume -- like a hamburger made with a sliced doughnut instead of a bun (or something a little less odd than that)?

I like potato chips, the ripply kind, on a white bread and American cheese (and butter) sandwich. It's actually about the only way I do like potato chips.

4) After a petition for Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie to get married grew to more than 5,000 signatures, Sesame Street has come out and said Bert and Ernie aren't gay and won't be getting married. Have you ever wanted two fictional characters of the same sex to become lovers?

No, I can't say as I have. And Bert & Ernie aren't gay. Jeez, people, get a freakin' life. It's a TV show, not real life. Sesame Street muppets are asexual anyway.

5) What is a common misconception people have about you?

That I'm quiet, kind, and organized. STEE-RIKE, YER OUT!

6) Tomorrow (Aug. 13) is National Garage Sale Day. Have you ever seen anything weird for sale at a garage/yard/rummage sale?

That's usually ALL I see at garage sales! That's also why I stopped attending them.

7) Do you have any extreme hobbies (sky diving, bungee jumping, whitewater rafting, etc.)?

I've always wanted to go sky-diving or bungee-jumping. I'm afraid that ship has sailed, however.

8) Today is National Kool-Aid Day. Do you like to drink Kool-Aid or another child-oriented drink?

No, thank you; way too sweet, even for me! I used to eat the pre-sugared mix out of the can as a kid though. (see #3 above for why I felt the need to share this).

9) Korean researchers have supposedly determined that the lower the ratio between the length of a man's index finger and his ring finger, the larger his penis may be. (Read the article here if you so choose.) Would you ever be a participant in a study determining such intimate details about the human body?

I can't believe I just read this article. I will say that nowhere in there did it clearly state that these guys willingly participated in the study. I mean, really: how many guys are likely to be thrilled with a bunch of people standing around and measuring "when it had been stretched as much as possible." And how does one determine "as much as possible" anyway? Going to go wash my brain now....

10) Tomorrow there will be a full moon. Do you believe the superstition that weird things happen on the night of the full moon?

...brain has been scrubbed. The full moon absolutely causes people to act weird. I know scientists have studied this too and come to a different conclusion, but I'm pretty sure nothing at all was "stretched as much as possible." Great, I need to wash my brain again, now. {{shudder}}

Manic Monday

(Link in meme-roll)

What is your favorite, can't-do-without beauty product?

Chapstick, I guess? I don't actually use makeup, so it would either be Chapstick or the Oil of Olay Regenerist face-wash products.

Have you ever colored your hair? What do you think about men coloring their hair and/or facial hair?

I have my hair colored every 5 or so weeks because I hate that in-between streaky dark + gray look. Another three or so years and I'm done: gray is fine. Streaky...not so much. And I don't mind at all if men do their hair, as long as they do it well. There is no excuse for looking like an idiot because you're too cheap to do this right. Having said that, all men people over 60 or so should cease and desist and realize that you should match: hair, neck, hands, etc.

What is your favorite outfit that you own? What makes it so special to you?

Jeans and a loose T. I'm not overly fussy.

Monday Mayhem

(Link in meme-roll)
Ten Anyone? Meme

1. Why do you blog?

I need to get the words out.

2. Name your three best memories.

- The day after Sparky was born after the morphine had worn off but before everything went to hell.
- Giggling with my mom during silent prayer at church.
- Jumping rope and playing jacks in the summer as a kid.

3. Name 4 of the best fiction books you've read.

The Book of Ruth, Alice in Wonderland, Glass Soup, and Outlander.

4. What are the 5 best movies ever made? (and that I love....)

Couldn't we switch this to a lower number? ...sigh... OK: Heathers, Citizen Kane, Orlando, Shoah, Groundhog Day.

5. Name 5 things I can't live without.

YOU can't live without? Air, water, food, love and shelter.

6. If you could change your name what would it be?

Go back a few days to find the answer.

7. Tell us a unique and interesting fact about yourself.

One that I haven't posted already? Holy cats...uh...I have blepharitis. Whee.

8. What do you love best about yourself?

My intellect.

9. If you had a "Freaky Friday" experience, who would you change places with?

Well, my mom's dead and I don't have a daughter, so...no one?

10. What is the best thing about being a woman.

The habit that so many men (ok, really: some women, too) have of underestimating us.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Tell Her No

1. When was the last time that you had to tell someone that you loved that the answer was no?

I'm a mom. I say no regularly, though much less emphatically or urgently than I used to. I can't remember a specific recent instance of saying no to anyone in my household. That makes me sound like a pushover, doesn't it?

2. When was the last time you visited a hospital?

When I took FIL in for tests last winter. Spring? Whatever.

3. If you were to start a club, what would the subject matter be, and what would you name it?

I wouldn't do this. I think I'm constitutionally unable to deal with 'clubbiness' in any format. I don't even fit in well in book clubs, which you'd think would be a slam dunk for me!

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?

I used to punch Beast in the stomach on a regular basis, back in the day when he had solid abs. Also, I'll cop to having smacked my son a few times.

5. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?

The fact that he exists, of course.

6. What really turns you on?

An epinephrine shot has an amazingly...uh...electrical effect. In all seriousness, laughter turns me on.

7. What was your biggest mistake?

I'm far too nice to people who don't deserve it. That is my next project for myself.

8. Tell us something totally random about yourself.

Yesterday I discovered a small, shallow divot in the back of my left hand that is missing in the same spot in my right hand. Weird.

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

Hell no. I look like everyone's next door neighbor/teacher/whatever.