Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Thought Provoking Questions
These are questions suggested by Markandangel

If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give?

Hell no! I'll be taking advice from this source, not polluting it with my stupidity!

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

Self-awareness.

What are you most grateful for?

Small moments of joy and painlessness.

Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong?

Nope.

What do you want most?

Peace.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I tend toward doing things right as often as possible; I need to pay more attention to doing the right things regardless of perfectibility.

What has life taught you recently?

Just cutting back on food intake or eating healthier food doesn't cause weight loss. So frustrating.

What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?

I would really like people to spend more time listening with an open mind.

Where do you find inspiration?

Kids and animals, some weather (e.g. thunderstorms) and sleep.

Can you describe your life in a six word sentence?

"Just take it as it comes."

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Because pride. Ego, if you prefer.

What impact do you want to leave on the world?

Aside from kindness, I'd actually like to leave as little impact as possible. Call me nuts.

What is the most defining moment of your life thus far?

Life continues after tragedy, and there are ALWAYS things to be learned, often from surprising people and events.

In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing?

Realistically, if I'm not seeing it, I'm, uh, ... not seeing it.
To answer the implicit question, I'm often very unaware of how set in my ways I am.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

"I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I can’t. I do what I don’t want to—what I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience proves that I agree with these laws I am breaking. But I can’t help myself because I’m no longer doing it.... When I want to do good, I don’t; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway." (Romans 7:15-17a, 19 (NLB))

Paul had one answer for that. I tend to agree with him in the abstract sense: because it feels better to do the wrong thing often. Or it is or seems easier.

What lifts your spirits when life gets you down?

Music. Sleep. Venting to a trusted person.

Have you ever regretted something you did not say or do?

Only every motherlovin' day! Good God, this is my life. "Regrets, I have a few..."

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Ayup. Usually with a twist because God's a funny guy.

Why do we think of others the most when they’re gone?

I don't really think I do; I am fairly certain I think about my Mom now as often as I did when she was still around. However, I think we all like to think about past times of our lives that seem much easier than today. I also strong distrust this rosy view of the past. My life wasn't appreciably "better" in my 20s, though some things were easier. Other things were pretty awful and I'd never want to do it again.

What is your most beloved childhood memory?

I've been thinking a lot lately about playing jacks (metal ones!) on the sidewalk in front on my house. We had a driveway pad that was very smooth so my hand didn't get all torn up scooping. I loved jacks....

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Sign of the Times (2017)
... because Cat. [me!!] recommended Harry Styles [I did?]
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here

1) In this song, Harry sings, "We don't talk enough, we should open up before it's all too much." When you have something serious on your mind, who do you share it with?

Beast, you-all here online, God.

2) As a kid, Harry wanted to be a lawyer because he can see "both sides." Are you good at seeing both sides of an argument?

Yes, to my own loss quite often.

3) He can't decide which is favorite color -- orange or blue. Help Harry out: which of those colors do you prefer?

What a combination ... especially around here, he'd be fine wearing both. I prefer blue. Orange is not a favorite.

4) Harry says he prefers older women, but would never go out with someone older than his mother. Do you think age disparity matters in romance?

Not once both parties are out of their teens. There's something decidedly skeevy about an adult dating a teen, by which I mean 10+ years age difference.

5) He admits to a big crush on Adele, who is six years older than he is. Who are you crushing on right now? (It doesn't have to be a celebrity.)

My heart belongs to Beast, but my eyes can't help but notice well-spoken guys of any age with a good sense of humor and lack of entitlement.

6) It makes Harry's skin crawl when he sees people use their teeth to open bottles. What creeps you out?

Butt cracks. I have seen far FAR too many of them at work. Doesn't matter the gender, the age, the relative cleanliness of the rest of the person, I do NOT need to see your but while you're using a library computer!!

7) When he's on the road, his go-to food is tacos. Do you like Mexican food?

I do. I actually really love real Mexican food. It's kind of one of my comfort foods.

8) Harry has never smoked. Have you ever been a smoker? If you quit, how did you successfully kick the habit?

Thank the Good Lord from keeping me away from this particular addiction! I don't remember anyone smoking that was in my life during those formative years when you're trying to impress people. My sister Ellen smoked, as did (does?) her husband, but otherwise I had a remarkably smoke-free adolescence. Unless you count those of my friends who smoked pot, of course....

9) Random Question: As she pulls out of her parking space, an elderly woman in an old car scrapes an expensive car. Then she drives away. You witness the whole thing. Do you make a note of her license plate and leave it for the owner of the expensive car? Or do you just mind your own business?

Hmm, that's a great ethical conundrum. In my town, it's quite likely that I know one or the other of these people, so that is going to color my decision a bit. Generally, though, I'm more likely to pretend I saw nothing. We have a pocket of horrible, entitled jerks living in the area; it's always nice to see them get theirs.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Something different

1. What is a normal thing that took you an embarrassingly long time to learn?

How to pump gas? I was terrified till I was in my thirties of looking stupid at the pump because I didn't know what I was doing. ...because, yeah, the guys inside have time to watch people pumping gas?? smh

2. In what ways are you old-fashioned?

I believe in people doing things for themselves to the extent that they are able and in community to improve culture. I believe in love. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt, but not being stupid. I believe in telling the truth, even if sometimes that hurts.

3. What is the best sandwich you've ever eaten? Where did you get it? What made it so delicious?

I suspect the best sandwich I ever had was something made at home and carried up a hiking path to the point where I was super-hungry and ready to eat. I have no memory of this mythic sandwich, but that tends to be when I enjoy food the most: after lots of sweat, outside, great view, good friends nearby.

4. What are you currently not bragging about that you should totally brag about?

We started a MASSIVE reorganization at work on August 1. It has gone in unexpected directions already, and I see that continuing to happen. I haven't lost my shit once yet. This is seriously amazing. Also, the finished product will be awesome, eventually. Give me a decade and it will be completely done!

5. What food have you never tasted and are most interested in trying?

I'd like to try more varieties of Indian and middle-eastern foods.

6. What history facts were you surprised to learn because it was never covered in school?

I never learned about the Sand Creek Massacre despite growing up less than 200 miles from where it happened.

7. What is something that you waited entirely too long to start or stop doing? What made you say "Why did I wait so long?"

It has taken me most of my life to really stop internalizing the opinions of people I don't know or care about. Why do they get to spend so much time in my head in place of people who love me??

8. What socially expected thing do you hate doing the most? What thing about polite society really grinds your gears?

I really hate hypocrisy.

9. What is something about your city that I should know if I'm going to visit? What is the hidden "must see" that you always tell friends and visitors to not miss

Well, there was a very popular movie filmed here in the early 90s that has become a bit of a "thing" to celebrate every year. There's a tour of sites from the movie and other slightly random things. I can do the tour in my sleep at this point.

10. What do you miss most about childhood?

The endless days, and waking up every morning to do it again only different.

11. What "fact" did you learn in school that is not true or no longer true?

...that the President always deserves respect.

12. What's your favorite piece of useless trivia?

I know SO MUCH useless trivia!! From the location of several dozen topics in Dewey Decimal to jersey numbers of football players from the 70s to how to make a white sauce in the kitchen to airport codes for a lot of cities. Really, it's ridiculous that no one will play Trivial Pursuit with me........!!

13. What's your best go to homemade "lazy" meal

Easiest hot food is spaghetti and a salad. The one I like the most is mac n cheese and sausage. However, I'm having a bagel sandwich with two kinds of cheese for lunch and I do that a LOT!

14. What's the title of this current chapter in your life?

"Surgeons and Pain Control for Beast"

15. What is a habit or practice that you learned from your childhood that you didn't realize was "weird" until you were an adult?

Apparently, shouting through the house isn't done by every family. Like, yelling up the stairs for someone--Beast's family apparently didn't do that. Who knew?

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Place for Pumpkin Questions

1. If "happiness" was the global currency, what kind of work would make you a gazillionaire?

My current job would probably have me be rolling in dough. I really do enjoy myself at work, and love my job. Except, when, you know, politics happens.

2. Would you break the law to save someone you loved? And, if so, how far would you be willing to take it?

Depends on the law. If it's a stupid law, or a morally wrong one, I wouldn't really have compunction about sacrificing it before a loved one. I would, of course, always pick someone I like to survive in a head-to-head battle over someone I didn't know/like.

3. Is it possible to really know the truth without questioning it first?

Not about most things. We really aren't born "knowing things" too often. And the stuff we are is pounded out of us well before we turn 5.

4. Do you remember that one time . . . oh, about 5 years ago or so . . . when you were really, really upset? Does it really matter now? If not now, then when?

Five years ago I was pretty much mad and panicky about everything. And yeah, it was a tempest in a teapot for the most part. Why? What have you heard?

5. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

In some areas, yes. Pretty much anything that causes children to suffer is evil. Cancer is evil. Some things are much harder to determine. Should Hitler have been assassinated in the 30s before he could inflict the war and the Holocaust on people?

6. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I've reached the happy age where the confluence of tiredness and lack of caring have put a stop to anything that's likely to get me in trouble. I really don't care if I'm judged. I'm going to be judged regardless of what I do.

7. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

I would prefer to never have to do any housework ever again. Otherwise, I'm in a good place.

8. Would you rather be an anxious genius, or a tranquil fool?

Right now, Tranquil Fool sounds like a very peaceful way to die.

9. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

My job is very much about the former; that's where the payoff is. However, over the last 3 or so years, I've really become far more interested in doing the latter. The real payoff is there, but it's approximately 800 times harder.

10. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I definitely feel like my age today. Lovely spring day means hello allergies and sore eyes. And the fact that I had two cookies with dinner has made me queasy. Two cookies = too much sugar?? WTF....oh well.

From Amy

(This Amy)

What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

In general I prefer to look at people when THEY are talking. I'm easily distracted by facial tics and nonverbals and I'd never finish what I need to say if I looked at the reaction while I was saying it.

Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I really haven't been ANGRY for awhile. That's amazing to say! I spent much of 2014 and 2015 in a whirl of furious defensiveness and paranoia. I think the last time I really lost my shit at all was when someone at work got all condescending at me. It's the same person who always does that when put on the spot; I should know better than to rise to the bait after 20 years. However, to my credit, instead of stomping around and being childish, I simply said, "Please don't use that tone with me." She told me to "just go home." So I did.

You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

Are you kidding? In stressful moments, I can barely get my phone logged in, much less actually use it as a phone! By the time I get my brain sorted to do this, I'd be a crispy critter already. But thanks for that great thought as I prepare for an 8-hour flight on Monday...

You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

If it's going to mean a noticeable decline over that month, I'd have to tell people: Beast, Sparky, work. If it meant dropping dead suddenly I'd probably make sure my insurance was paid up, my will and burial wishes were clear and findable, and then get on a plane to someplace lovely.

You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? - Love and Trust.

I don't think you can have either without the other. It's a little symbiotic. However, since I've actually been thinking about what trust means in my life lately, I'll take the love, as in GIVING it to others. I guess I'd rather receive trust.

You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?

Weirdly, I just heard about something like this scenario being put to the test at a seminary, and most everyone failed. Massively. So while I say I'd stop and do something for the dog, I am realistic enough to know that I probably wouldn't. That's assuming I even noticed the situation in the first place!

Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

I'd really rather not be hurt, honestly. Having been hurt regularly and most often by someone I thought I could trust, whom I also love, I will say that the failure in trust is a difficult blow. I know he still loves me.

Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you, more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

I'd ask for a chance to think and then I'd shut up so I didn't say anything hurtful. This does mean different things depending on which friend we're talking about. Frankly, for most of my besties, it would be odd after this many years to find that out.

Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?

The last person I know who died didn't necessarily deserve an hour of extra time.... The last person that I love who died would kill me for doing something like this, so I'd be sacrificing a lot more (I hope) than a year!

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

If this question was reworded to read "Am I a good friend to myself?" I would say that generally yes and improving.

Does love = sex?

Absolutely not! Some love sometimes includes some kind of sexual component, but most love a lot of the time has zero to do with sex.

Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?

Nope. Because I like my job and the newest employee at my workplace couldn't do what I do, so that would be a ridiculous thing to do.

When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I am not exactly shy about this. And I'm learning to be much more up front, but less confrontational, about this kind of thing. Better to get it dealt with now that wait for it to fester.

What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I really struggled to say "I love you" when I was younger because my family doesn't haul that one out and use it very often. On the other hand, I seem to have had no problem being mean; my family is better at that...?

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

My independence.

Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

I think I texted a friend this yesterday. She had some family stuff going on, and she is just a kind person and she says it all the time too.

If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

Whatever one moment I choose, I'm virtually certain it would involve shutting up this time around.

Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

The police. Whom I would have already called.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?

Of course. Because being homeless doesn't preclude someone's right to have a life.

You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

My grandmother has been dead longer than the author has been alive. Save the baby.

Are you old fashioned?

Yes. Except in terms of gender roles. Unless that could be interpreted as Ancient Fashioned.

When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

At work. Every damned day. I expect very very little from my public service interactions, so every time someone doesn't yell at me or talk nonsense to me or otherwise act weird, I'm very grateful.

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

I'll always go for love. Why would you only get one chance at love? We have multiple chances for love every fucking day!

If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I would really love for people to CALM THE FUCK DOWN and stop taking everything so damned personally. The world does not revolve around any single one of us. Get real and get over it.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Let's Not Be Difficult Meme

1. Do you like your movies and books to be more lighthearted or serious?

My first reaction was to say that it depends on the subject of the book. But actually, having a sense of the absurdity and irony about life around us helps no matter what the topic is. I don't tend to like overly earnest or dead-serious books, fiction or not. I also don't like total silliness, though. It's a tough balance.

2. What’s more important, first impressions or lasting impact?

More important is lasting impact. But if you fail at the first impression you don't often get to hang around to have impact later.

3. Order these areas of psychological health from what you need the least improvement into what you need the most improvement in: physical, emotional, social, intellectual, environmental, spiritual

Intellectual, spiritual, emotional, social, environmental, physical.

4. Do you react appropriately to things and control your feelings?

Oh, who the hell knows? Apparently, I do not have a good grasp of this at work, but I think I'm pretty stable and normal.

5. Do you have stable relationships?

Speaking of which....yes.

6. Do you need to be in a relationship to feel good about yourself?

I need to be in some kind of relationship, yes. Does it have to be love? Not really.

7. Which is the clearest and most concise, your thoughts, your speech or your writing? Which is the least clear and concise?

My writing tends to be most concise when I'm being attentive, because I can edit out egregiously stupid things. Least clear are probably my unfiltered thoughts. I'm definitely a girl this way: I have to verbalize to clarify.

8. Are you always trying to learn new things?

Yes. It can be quite painful, but is almost always rewarding in the end.

9. Do you feel at peace?

In a general sense, yes. There are a few specifics that are far from peaceful, but I'm working on coming to terms with those.

10. Do you have strong morals and ethics that you believe in and adhere to?

Strong ones I believe in. Adhering to them can be a little harder when push comes to shove.

11. Do you think of the needs of all humanity or just the needs of yourself and those you know?

I think about both. I tend to do things more for the people I know than for the good of the universe. Which makes me kind of a jerk, but also pretty normal. It's certainly not something I'm very proud of.

12. Do you recycle?

Yes. As much as possible. It's my saving grace, perhaps, for question 11.

13. Are you active in your community?

Not really. I feel like I do a great deal for my community at work, and I do some volunteering during the school year, so my conscience is clear. However, I've been mulling over getting involved with CASA for awhile. I'm just not sure how much time it would require, and I do hoard my quiet, home times a bit.

14. Are you sensitive to the needs of others?

Yes. To a fault. I'm finding it a little easier lately to set those aside without guilt, but it's hard. I wish I could do more to help people sometimes.

15. Do you dress up to go out?

Five minutes ago, I was standing on my front porch in my nightshirt at 11 a.m. Great timing! I try to dress appropriately for the situation. I'll be at a funeral this afternoon and did check last night to be sure I had something to wear in case I needed to shop this morning. Not only do I have something that will be ok, it's actually more than ok due to the circumstances in play today. I don't, however, make a point of dolling myself up very often. I'm way more casual and more interested in comfort than I am about makeup and what-all.

16. What could make you lose respect for someone?

Lying, hypocrisy, endless (bad) excuses for lousy behavior, and rudeness to others. One of Beast's best friends at work was a super-nice guy named Larry who was as kind and friendly of a guy as anyone we knew. When the two of them ended up spending a lot of time entertaining clients, it turned out that Larry was a complete prick at restaurants: yelling at waitresses, sending his food back for idiotic reasons, tipping poorly, etc. Beast and I both lost a lot of respect for him for that, and it was horribly embarrassing for Beast in front of the clients. He often had to stay after everyone left to increase the tip and/or apologize to the staff, and then make "I'm so sorry" calls the next day to clients.

17. If you won $1,000 every week until you die, would you still go to work?

That would total $52,000 a year, and the government would take some of that in taxes. I can't live here for that, so yes, I'll be heading off to work daily.

18. What trend has been getting on your nerves lately?

Poor cell-phone etiquette drives me nuts. These are not new devices, people. Turn them off when they will disturb others (church, meetings, stage performances, funerals, etc.), or at least set them to vibrate. And don't haul them out to check every time you get a message signal when you're talking F2F with someone. It's really bloody rude, especially if you're talking to an employee who is trying to help you. I do not have time to stand and listen to your husband's difficulties with finding the right kind of yogurt at WalMart, or your wife's complaints about traffic when she should be DRIVING not talking! And for God's sake....WHY do we all SHOUT into our phones??

19. Do you forgive yourself when you make a mistake?

Eventually. Most of the time.

20. Is ignorance really bliss?

Until you realize how stupid you've been and belatedly feel like a tool. Sometimes, in other words, yes. And sometimes ignorance is annoying and/or dangerous.

21. What can be described as ‘even better than the real thing’?

U2 has it pretty much right on.

22. What’s in your wallet right now?

The usual wallet-y stuff: money, license, credit cards, "loyalty" cards up the wazoo, insurance stuff....my CPR card, Sparky's bank account number, a three-year-old Weight Watcher's booklet. I really need to clean the damn thing out. No pictures, because I've known too many people who've lost their wallet and their only/last photo of [important person]. Credit cards, etc., are replaceable; pictures less so. Also, we had a speaker at the library last week who talked about RFID readers and wallets, so I'm considering lining my wallet with tin foil. Yes, I'm aware that this makes me sound like a lunatic, but I'm too cheap to buy a metal wallet.

23. Do you write letters that you never send?

Yes.

24. Do you ever get the feeling people are laughing at you?

Not so much anymore, but only because I really don't fookin' care anymore. When I do stupid things, I fully expect others to laugh. When people are just being mean, that says so much more about them than me that I don't let it bother me, at least not like it did when I was young and trying to impress everyone.

25. Who’s the one person you’d like to drop a house on?

Interestingly, we were talking about the Wicked Witch yesterday at work, and her ruby slippers. The house-dropping didn't come up, but I'd really like to drop a eally Big House on all the politicians who use scare tactics, half-truths and full-blown lies to forward their agenda. Note that I'm not specifying a particular party, because there are connivers everywhere. However, I'm pretty sure if you've read anything else here before you'll know that I feel one U.S. political party especially needs a big-ass 100-story condo building dropped on it.

Survery [sic]

(Found at Amy's)

Do you believe in destiny, fate or free will?

I believe we are all allowed to fuck up our lives in whatever what we want, but God has a longer view than us and knows what we're going to do. Hence, grace. I don't find that concept complicated, but if you do, here's the Party Line. I don't believe in karma as such, or fate.

If you could talk to one species of animal which would it be?

I would love to be able to speak some version of "canine" preferably "wolf," though "mutt" would be more useful.

If you had friends 'round, what DVDs would you have to watch?

If I have friends over, I'm unlikely to waste our time watching a movie.

Do you like vanilla or chocolate?

I definitely prefer vanilla. I can add whatever I want to it from that point: caramel, hot fudge, nothing. Whatever sounds good.

Are you a giver or a receiver?

Depends. I like receiving, but I'm improving at giving as well.

Do you have any enemies?

I don't think so, in the stalking/killing/kidnapping sense. I'm the only enemy I know of.

Are you scared of needles?

Not scared, just sort of grossed-out by seeing them being used on people. I'd make the worst phlebotomist.

How many piercings do you have--if any?

Just one in each earlobe.

Have you ever got majorly lost trying to get somewhere?

Yes. And prior to GPS, even. Drive around enough and you'll figure it out.

Do you say "Zee" or "Zed" to describe the letter Z?

I grew up with "zee" so "zee" it is. Besides, the alphabet song has to be changed if I start using "zed" and I'm too lazy for that.

What was the last thing to make you feel happy?

Dinner out last night with my sweetie was fun.

What was the last thing to make you feel angry?

About two weeks ago, work beat me up and spit me out into a puddle of vomit that I'm still working on cleaning up.

You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you're fired. Do you save the dog?

I would certainly call 911, but I wouldn't be jumping into water to save a dog since that would just ensure both of us dying. I'd probably see if there was a way I could convince it to swim to the side or grab a branch of something. Being late for work is beside the point.
Then again, I haven't walked to work since I was in grad school. And you're assuming my usual tunnel vision would allow me to notice anything like this in the first place.

Are you the kind of friend you'd want to have as a friend yourself?

I'd probably be the most annoying friend to myself ever!! I think I'm a good friend, but there's chemistry in friendship, and I wouldn't want to be friends with someone just like myself.

Do you have any questions or queries about things you're just too scared or embarrassed to ask anyone about?

At my age, it's pretty damned hard to get embarrassed about anything. And honestly, for the things I might be embarrassed about, there's always Google. :-)

If you were a wrestler what would your stage name be?

I wouldn't, so the point is moot.

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday Six

1. You see that someone you’re talking to has a piece of spinach in her teeth. Would you say something or pretend you don’t notice?

I absolutely tell her! I also try to be somewhat discreet about it if possible. Why on earth would anyone NOT say something? After all, what's worse than having spinach in your teeth? Having spinach in your teeth several hours after lunch!

2. You overhear a mom creating a scene in a grocery store and using profanity while yelling at her child. Would you say something to the mom or would you feel it was none of your business?

This happens semi-regularly at work, and since I'm in a position of 'authority' there I usually wander past and look sympathetically at the kid and glare at the mom. I'd probably do that at the store too. If it's really out of control or looks like it's about to get physical, I might step in and say something like, "I think you dropped a coupon" and hand the mom one, or offer a Kleenex to the mom for the kid to use, or mention that Mom has spinach on her teeth. ;)
There's also the option of putting my phone next to my ear as I walk past them and saying, "[Child Protective Services], yes, I have a report to make..." If it really looked like a completely crazy situation, I might dial 911 for real.
I do worry that getting involved directly may make things worse once the parent is out of the store and alone with the kid. I know this happens in abusive adult relationships when people stand up for the victim. It may actually be better to ask if she can help you find something in the "feminine products" aisle and get her away from the guy to see if she wants help.

3. You overhear a child creating a scene in a grocery store and using profanity while yelling at his mom. Would you say something to the mom or would you feel it was none of your business?

I'd totally say something to the kid! "Who, exactly, is paying for these groceries? You, or her?" or (more succintly) "What the hell, dude?" The interesting thing in this sort of situation is how often the parent jumps on whoever gets involved and tells them to STFU. Of course, this assumes the kid is young and/or small. If it's a big thuggy-looking kid, I think I'd do the above "feminine products" trick with the mom.

4. You see a child shoplift a toy and notice the parent doesn’t see it. Would you say something to the parent, the child, store management, or no one?

Kind of depends on the item, I guess. I'd try to catch the kid's eye and raise my eyebrows at them. If they have any conscience at all, that's usually going to be enough, especially if I look like I'm going to talk to her dad. If I get a sassy look back, I might ask dad if I could swap for it since I was looking for "that very color" or whatever and I just saw his angel pick up the one I wanted.

5. You see an apparently homeless man shoplift something at a store. Would you say something to the man, the store manager, or no one?

Again, depends on the item. Booze = "MANAGER!" Fresh fruit or something like that and I'm staying mum. Generally, I'd probably not say anything directly to the shoplifter though; one never knows what's going to set off Teh CuhRAYzee.

6. You see a homeless man outside a restaurant begging for food and you happen to have an extra $10 in your pocket. Would you buy him lunch, hand him the cash, or do nothing?

I'd buy him lunch. At least, I hope I would. I think I sometimes get a little too wrapped up in 'how busy' I am and don't notice what's going on around me.

Blogthings

You Persuade with Ethos

When it comes to persuasion, you aren't one to try to convince people overnight. You know true persuasion takes time. You are always laying the groundwork for being more persuasive. You try to do right by others and build a solid reputation. Others trust your judgment because you are credible. You have a history of being honest, on target, and unselfish in your goals. You are a big believer in action being more important than talk. You show people who you are and what you stand for every day.

How Do You Persuade?

Bingo.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Who Are you? Part 3 & 4 – Is it over yet?

Part 3: Past
34. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

The one that changed me the most was the five years from 1993 through 1997. Baby, move to a new state and no outside-the-home employment, death of two family members, surgery, other medical issues. It sucked, but wow did I learn a lot.

35. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Surviving all that without getting stuck in the middle of things (for too long).

36. What is your greatest regret?

That I didn't spend more time with Ellen before she died, and that I didn't take more (and better) photos of Sparky with my dad before he died.

37. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

My evil doings tend to be fairly small-scale, but (unfortunately) daily. The one thing I wish I could undo is not being very nice to a very strange girl in my high school English classes.

38. When was the time you were the most frightened?

I have the gift of not being aware of how out-of-control dangerous a situation really is until after I've extricated myself, or someone else has extricated me. Probably the one time I was in the most danger physically was when I slid off a wet road in the rain a few years ago, tore through a farmhouse's front yard, avoided the massive tree trunks, and got back up on the road surface with no damage to anything but their lawn. I did have to pull over for a few minutes and gather my wits before I could continue home.

39. What is your best memory?

I'm fortunate to have too many from which to choose.

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic for the most part, with a strong self-protective cynical streak.

41. What is your greatest fear?

Any of my recent dreams coming true. Not that they've been particularly bad, though a few have been, but they have all been so completely strange that if they actually occurred, it would mean that I'd have gone completely crazy.

42. What are your religious views?

To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with God.

43. State a random opinion?

Does it have to be my random opinion? ;-)
I think it's pretty hypocritical for those who are voting to decrease government spending to get upset when their personal benefits get cut.

44. What are your views on sex?

I'm for it.

45. Are you able to cook?

There's some question of that, but tonight's dinner was pretty damn good: black bean bake with cheesy tortillas baked inside.

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Forget that any one of the rest of us are human too.

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

Don't really think I believe in soul-mates. I definitely believe in love of all kinds.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?

Being able to see possibilities for good in any situation and working to make it occur.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?

Mostly, I'm very honest. Too honest, many would say. I'm what you might call "excitable." Or worse...

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Of course I do. Who doesn't? I try to be aware of them. Sometimes I don't realize they're there until I say or do something completely stupid, though.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

I don't think I could carry out a long-term, planned assault on an innocent person. I probably couldn't kill anyone, unless it was heat-of-the-moment and in the course of defending myself or my loved ones. I could NOT plot out any kind of demeaning, hurtful, torture for someone, though. Not for real.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

I would hope that I'd be willing to die to protect my loved ones, and the beliefs for which I stand.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Self Esteem

1. How was your self esteem growing up?

In the toilet. I was never, ever good enough, even though I knew I was loved.

2. Do you ever have a hard time with morals?

Not in general. However, there's a LOT of gray areas, way more than I like to deal with.

3. Do you eat in bed? If yes, what?

Sure. Crackers. ;-) [I actually do, albeit infrequently.] Oh, and cough drops when I'm sick.

4. What was the last movie you hated and why?

I have come to strongly dislike the Star Wars movies.

5. Have you ever felt that you lost it all? If yes, explain.

I haven't ever actually lost everything, but there have been many times when the fear that I had fucked up so badly as to lose it all has been overwhelming.

6. Have you ever been stalked?

Not to my knowledge. Which means I haven't been, or I have been, but by someone extremely GOOD at stalking!

7. Do you believe in 'self help' for problems, or do you prefer therapy?

As if therapy means you don't do any work yourself? Uhm, yeah, NO! I start with looking for my own solutions and when (if) that doesn't work, I'll go talk to someone. I'm not averse to it, for sure.

8. What celebrity do you think should make a run for office?

None . Of . Them. Perish the thought!

9. Do you believe in happy endings? (We do. That why this is the last question!)

Happy endings are ones you make yourself. My happy ending might not be yours, but if it works for me, who are you to complain, right?

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday 6

1. While going through old boxes, you find an old library book of which you are very fond, but you realize that it was a library book. You assume that the library has long-since written the book off as a loss because it has been boxes away for 20 years or more, and the book carries a great deal of sentimental value for you. Would you return the book or keep it?

Really, Patrick?
I'd probably keep it at this point, but I would call the library and see if it's still on my record there. The reality is that when people DO this with any regularity, their credit rating goes in the dumper and it may mean stopping in the middle of buying a house to run to the owning library to make restitution for the materials they've STOLEN. This happened to someone I know while buying a house in California. Moral: don't steal.

2. You visit one of your closest friends who is battling a terminal illness. It's clear he or she will not survive, but is in a lot of pain. Your friend begs you to briefly disconnect life support long enough for death to come. If there is no way your intervention could be discovered and no way you could face any kind of prosecution, would you grant your friend's request?

I would call hospice, and an attorney, and in the meantime ask why my friend hadn't gotten around to creating a Medical Power of Attorney, a DNR order at the hospital, and/or a Living Will . Had s/he done this, s/he would not have been connected to any intrusive live-saving equipment in the first place.

3. You have the chance to be in a parade and ride on a float supporting a cause you believe in, but you can't appear in any kind of disguise or costume: which cause's float would you most likely be comfortable selecting?

Look, if I believed in something enough to appear in a float in a parade, I wouldn't bother with a disguise in the first place. That goes for the parades I have marched in with Little League and Girl Scouts and my church, and Bigger Issues like Feminism, Peace, LGBT, etc.

4. Your company's top executive team arrives for a surprise visit, and selects you and a handful of other employees to meet with one-on-one in an attempt to get the pulse of their employees and to uncover any problems within the organization. How honest are you likely to be about your answers when they ask about specific problems you know exist, even if it means that friends you work with could lose their jobs over what you say?

I wouldn't be dishonest in that case, but I also would choose not to answer directly. If the big guys are in town on a fact-finding mission in this economy, they are looking for which heads to chop off, so I'm just keeping mine down.
IRL, this wouldn't happen because a) I work for municipal government, so there IS no "out-of-town" big shots, and b) they've already sliced well into the bone in terms of cutting so I'm saying nothing about anyone who is left!

5. You find yourself slated to be a guest on a talk show: which host, living or dead, would you most like to be interviewed by, and why would you choose that host?

I loved Phil Donahue; he was serious, honest, passionate and smart.

6. Your church decides to take part in a political protest, and it seems that nearly everyone feels the same way about the issue. You, however, do not share their view. At the risk of being ostracized, would you deny to participate, or would you search for a way to quietly assist, without being out in front?

Count me out. I'm not gonna conform, ESPECIALLY in church, if I feel something is wrong. If I'm ostracized, AT CHURCH, for refusing to participate in something morally repugnant to me, then I'm changing churches. Why the HELL did I stay in this church in the first place?!

W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Rating your life and covering your toilet paper

1) Veterinarians always say people should not feed their leftover food to their pets, but one of my dogs has eaten people food for his entire 16 years of life and has no health issues. Do you feel it's okay to feed people food to pets or should you always follow the vet's instructions?

I think if it's healthy food, it's probably good for anyone, human or not, with some major caveats of course: no chocolate for dogs, etc. I also think that in general if you're going to ask (and pay) a professional you should probably pay attention to what they say.

2) Have you ever become addicted to a game (of any sort)? If so, what was it?

Oh, I get hung up on all kinds of games. For a long time, I was totally hooked on Tetris, back around 1993. I played it incessantly on the computer, with 5-1/2" discs. Loved that game. Since then, I've been hooked on The Sims (by FAR the most dangerous game for me!), Civ3, and virtually every game on Facebook, it seems like. Lately it's Pawn Stars and Gardens of Time.

3) This week is World Breastfeeding Week. Should women be able to breastfeed in public places (assuming their covered up)?

Whether or not they're covered up, breastfeeding moms should be left alone--assuming the baby is no more than a year or so old. I have seen more than one 3-4 year old kid breastfeeding: THAT is just beyond freaky.

4) It is National Clown Week. Because of my ex-husband, clowns freak me out. Have clowns ever scared you?

Nope. Clowns are not even on the top 100 list for me. My son is not a fan, though.

5) If you became a spy and could pick anyone (living or dead, real or fictional) as your partner, who would it be?

Julia Child. I'd eat well, laugh a lot, and she definitely could do the spy thing.

6) Last week my boyfriend told me this, "I get life philosophy from pop culture." Where do you (or did you) get the majority of your life philosophy?

From church, my parents, books, and life. Not necessarily in that order.

7) My local newspaper did a story over the weekend about stories taxi cab drivers hear while driving passengers. It was a "taxi cab confessions" type story. Have you ever had a deep conversation with a cab driver?

Nope. I don't talk to strangers about anything 'confessional.' Ever. {{shudder}}

8) Cottonelle has introduced a toilet paper cover. (Watch a TV commercial here.) Do you think toilet paper should be hidden or is it okay for people to see it "naked" in your bathroom?

Oh, for fuck's sake... really, I'm now just so far beyond stunned. I think I'm done buying anything from Cottonelle. How ridiculous! And, no I did NOT watch the ad.

9) The Food Network's show "Meat & Potatoes" is rated "M" for "Meat." Many movies are rated "PG" for "Parental Guidance." Some video games are rated "E" for "Everyone." What is your life rated?

"T" for "Tired."

10) What was a quick decision you once made that changed your life?

"OK, I guess I will at least talk to this particular football player..." Four years later, we were married.

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday Six

1. You order takeout from a favorite restaurant. You’re at the counter paying for your dinner by credit card and the host hands you the charge slip that includes a blank for a tip. Do you leave one for takeout?

Nope. Why should I? They did nothing but box it instead of plating it (requiring a lot less hassle) and bring it to the cash register.

2. You’re having dinner at a restaurant you’ve never visited before and you receive poor service, a wrong item on your plate and you have an inattentive waitor [sic]. Do you leave a tip anyway, or would you leave nothing?

I would leave the minimum tip, and ask to speak to the manager. If I had time. In my experience, this sort of thing tends to happen when I don't have time to mess around.

3. You’re under the weather and you decide to make a doctor’s appointment: how likely are you to search the web for your symptoms and walk in with your own diagnosis already in hand (or in mind)?

100% likely. I diagnosed my own thyroid condition, several of my allergies, and more than one instance of strep throat--though the latter was experience not internet investigation.

4. You see a drug ad on television promoting a “miracle cure” for a condition you know you have. How likely are you to contact your doctor and ask about that specific medication?

Not. Ever. I'd prefer to avoid meds advertised on TV. I take one that is regularly mentioned, but not because of anything I saw on TV.

5. A cell phone company sells you a phone that fails to do something you feel is basic. They advertise a money-back guarantee, but the fine print says there’s a $35 “restocking fee” for returning the phone. How much are you likely to fight that charge because of the phone’s inability to do what you need it to do?

Naah, I'd just deal. My current phone doesn't have speaker-phone capabilities, which is annoying at times, but...it'll break eventually and I'll ask about that next time.

6. You decide to buy a new computer, and there are two computer stores in town: one has low prices and an almost-absent sales floor staff, and the other has higher prices but very friendly, helpful staffers. You decide to get information from the well-informed staff at the more expensive store. If you knew you could save 25% or so by going to the cheaper store, how likely would you be to buy from the more expensive store that gives you better service?

I live in the middle of nowhere. I will be buying online or driving 15 miles to the nearest Best Buy. And I will be happy to save money on something I know how to fix, but I'll buy local, and small, on things I can't fix myself.

Friday 5

(Link in meme-roll)
the only selfless thing he ever did for me was in a dream.

[01] Would you wear your clothes if you knew they were manufactured in a sweat shop?

They probably were. I buy cheap. I also eat food from slaughterhouses. I have different priorities, though I'm not particularly proud of any of this.

[02] Can you write backwards? Upside down? With your other hand?

I can write (slowly) with my left hand, and used to be able to write backwards. This is known as How to Stay Awake in Boring Classes.

[03] Are you most often early, late, or right on time?

I try to be a couple minutes early. In the past year, I've been late more often than any other year of my life, and it doesn't make me happy.

[04] Have you ever participated in a parade?

I was in marching band for 8 years. So...yeah.

[05] Who is the angriest person you know?

Beast.

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Monday's Morals

You’re the judge who winds up with the Polanski case. Your options are to sentence him to the jail time he should have gotten for the crime to which he pleaded guilty 32 years ago, that time plus additional time for fleeing the country, or no time at the request of his accuser. Which would you select and why.

I'm curious: can the accuser/victim be forced to testify if this comes to court? Even though she has asked charges to be dropped?

My answer to the main question is that I think if she isn't willing to prosecute on the rape charge (and yes, Whoopi, it was rape-rape--how can you be so moronic?), then it should be dropped.

HOWEVER, I do think that Polanski should be tried for fleeing the country to avoid prosecution. The man is 75 and has, in effect, imprisoned himself for 30 years, but he definitely should have to account for himself. I'd like to see him donate a substantial wad of money to agencies that aid the victims of pedophiles and sexual predators. And he should admit that he did something wrong, and apologize to Geimer if he has not already done so. It wouldn't be beyond reason for him to talk to/listen to other men who didn't have the wherewithal to leave the country after they were arrested for similar crimes.

But mostly, this is a horrendous waste of time and resources that would be better spent on catching and prosecuting the evil perverts who are currently sexually abusing children and young teens right this very minute.

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Monday's Morals

You have the opportunity to cast the deciding vote as to whether or not an additional tax will be placed on sugary soft drinks, knowing that the revenue will fund medical care that is designed to fight obesity. Would you vote for a tax hike on those higher-calorie soft drinks, or leave the price alone? Why or why not?

Yes, I'd vote for it, with the stipulation that the tax would not be on the diet sodas, or at least not as high.

I would go a GIANT step further and put a HUGE tax on fast food, and mega-processed food of all kinds. And I'd do a subsidy on the entire produce section so that those prices would come down.

Now I'd better run and hide.

[clearly, I'm a dirty commie]

Some of this stems from the diet that I started this week. It's hard to find healthy food that isn't outrageously expensive.

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Monday's Morals

You’re at a buffet-style restaurant eating dinner when you notice a man complaining loudly to a waitress about something that to you seems very trivial. When he gets up to walk towards the buffet, you notice that his fly is open. You’re already headed that way: would you tell him? Why or why not?

I wouldn't say anything to him regardless of his harangue at the waitress. I definitely come from WASP-land where it is acceptable, even required, to overlook other people's weirdness and behavior. I also recall mentioning it to someone once who leered at me as he zipped and actually said "And why were you looking there in the first place?" OMG-STFU!

Yes, I would feel a degree of epicaricacy about having these two situations together, but for me there's not really a connection between the two. The only people to whom I point out an unzipped fly (or gappy blouse) are friends.

Now, if you'd asked whether I'd point out that he'd dropped a $50 bill or his cell phone after berating the waitress... :-) [I might not--but I might chase him down and say, "Here. This is an example of how to be KIND to other people."]

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Monday's Morals

You sell your car to someone who pays for it in advance and tells you he can’t actually take possession of the car for several weeks. You charged a fair price for the car based on the blue book value, with no warranty, and have cashed the check and paid off bills with the money. Weeks later, on the way to drop it off to the buyer, you discover that the air conditioner isn’t putting out cold air like it used to. Do you tell the person of your last-minute discovery? Why or why not?

I have to say that my first reaction was that I would probably drop by the garage on my way and have it recharged for him. I'm a sucker.

Where I live, "weeks later" would probably mean that at one end or another of this transaction, the a/c was not an issue--either when he paid, or when I was delivering it the weather was cool enough not to need a/c. That being the case, I would assume that nothing had changed since he bought it.

Then again, if the car was a junker I wouldn't do that. I mean, if he paid me $500 for the car, he's getting nothing but trouble anyway. There are, frankly, a lot of variables just like in any ethical question. Can you tell we did a LOT of Values Clarification exercises when I was in school? ;-)

I would try VERY hard not to get into this situation in the first place: once I've sold something to someone, I'd want it off my property so that stuff like this wouldn't happen. Imagine if someone had STOLEN it while the guy was dinking around on pickint it up! Whose fault would that be? Would my insurance cover his loss? My head hurts just thinking about this....

Patrick's Place

(Link in blogroll)
Monday's Morals

You’re spending the day with a person with some kind of disability, but who is having no problem getting around on this particular day. You run errands with the person, and you wind up at a store with a large parking lot. You see one single open handicapped parking space close to the door, and one otherwise good space just one row further away. Your friend pulls out a handicapped placard to hang on your rear-view mirror. Since they’re clearly having a good day with no pain and no difficulty at all in getting around, would you take the one remaining handicapped space available, or the space one row over, or would you even suggest not taking the handicapped space? Why?

The day isn't over yet. Disabilities can flare. Any second of any day can bring a change. The lighting, the floor covering, the temperature in the store may cause a problem that makes walking out to the car at the end of the trip next to impossible. And if someone should run into you rounding a corner at the end of an aisle...all bets are off.

Years and years of living and working and being related to people with minor and major physical problems (and being one myself temporarily) has made me understand that no one (NO ONE) can tell anyone how they are feeling more clearly than the person's body itself. I wouldn't dare to question someone. How exactly do you know they aren't in pain? Do you know what medications they took to get through the day, and how long they last, and whether they rested for the past two days just so they would have a marginally "normal" day today?

I walked for two blocks in the city with a dear friend of mine on Saturday. She had to stop 4 times to breathe. She doesn't "look sick" except for being extremely pale. She related to me that other friends had held a place in line for her that morning while waiting for a bus and she sat on a planter a few feet away. When the bus arrived and people prepared to board, she walked over to her friends to board. Several people behind them in line muttered about her "cutting." She could barely get up the steps into the bus and nearly fainted in the aisle. But of course, those people behind her in line, who were clearly in better health than she currently is, presume to be MUCH better doctors for her than her own body. Do you know what she told me as we walked those two blocks in the afternoon? The worst part isn't being so ill, or having to take things slowly. The worst part is feeling like you have a target on your back; ANYone can say/do anything to you and fighting back at all simply costs too much effort.

Yes, it steams me when able-bodied people abuse privileges meant for others (like my dad using my mom's placard after her stroke--it drove. me. nuts!). But I no longer assume. Because you know what that does, right?