Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
 I Will Never Let You Down (2017)
... because Smellyann recommended Fastball
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Fastball is a trio from Austin, Texas. Austin is the capital of Texas. When you were in school, did you have to memorize the state capitals?

I didn't have to, but I did have them memorized by the time I was in 2nd grade. I still know most of 'em. It comes in handy periodically.

2) Have you ever visited your state's capital?

Yep. I was there in town about 18 months ago, and I saw the Capitol itself 19 years ago. I'm not going back till there are some grownups running the state. We've had nothing but NOTHING since our current governor was elected. The state is in SERIOUS financial trouble, and they are just diddling around, but getting paid. That needs to stop.

3) Fastball played dates throughout Canada this past spring. When did you last leave the US of A?

Last September we were in the U.K. for a family wedding.

4) Tony Scalzo is a founding member of Fastball. He's the singer in the video for this song, and that's his wife, Jennifer, playing the organizer of the speed-dating event. Have you ever gotten a job because you knew somebody?

That's kind of how I got the job I have now. Ah, the good old days of not posting jobs....never gonna happen nowadays. [insert current workplace griping and gossip here]

5) In this pitch to a perspective lover, he admits he doesn't have much money. Last time you went to the ATM, how much did you withdraw?

I always get $300. I use cash at Aldi's and most fast-food places, as well as haircuts and Walgreen's, etc., so I go through it in a couple of weeks.

6) He sings that at times, his mind is hazy. Do you have a good memory for names?

I'm great with names! I totally SUCK at faces and at matching names with the right faces. It's pathetic.

7) Fastball guitarist Miles Zuniga admits that he once had a crush on Carrie Fisher (aka Princess Leia). Tell us about one of your one-sided love affairs, either with a celebrity or someone you knew in real life.

Oh, I had it BAD for Andy Gibb back in the day (c. 1978). Giant poster of him shirtless on my wall. Remember this was the era of super-tight pants, too, so I'm actually surprised in hindsight at my parents' forbearance. It really was heartbreaking when he died, less than 10 years later.

8) Fastball's drummer Joey Shuffield is partial to drums from Pork Pie Percussion. This company was started by Bill Detamore, who began making drums as a hobby. Do you have any hobbies that, under the right circumstances, could make you money?

Nope. Well, I mean, I suppose if I was really motivated and needy, I could make money blogging or Facebooking, or reading (?), but then I'm not sure it would be fun anymore at that point.

9) The fast ball is the most common pitch in major league baseball. Now that the MLB season is past the halfway mark, how is your baseball team doing?

I don't have "a team." And shouldn't baseball season end (and start, for that matter), in warm temperatures by the way?? OK, that's just a tiny chip from the iceberg of disdain I feel about baseball. (Sorry, Gal--but fans are not part of the disdain, so ...)

Saturday 9 x2

(Link in meme-roll)
Lazy Bones (1975)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song is about a guy who'd rather nap than do his chores. Are there things you should be doing right now, instead of hanging around the blogosphere, answering these questions?

Of course. There's ALWAYS something I should be doing. Today's list includes handwashing some dishes, excavating the counters in the kitchen, general vacuuming (pick a floor, any floor)... So I'm blogging.

2) This song mentions a lazy afternoon of fishing. When did you last go fishing?

Sparky was 8. I know because he and his dad caught a fish (ok, it was a minuscule perch that was too small to keep). That was in 2001, at Moosehead Lake.

3) The lyrics catch our hero sleeping in both the sun and the shade. Do you have a nice, shady place to nap on your front lawn? Or would we catch you lying in the sun?

We have shade in the front yard, but the ground there isn't as comfy as the grass in the backyard, where there are no trees.

4) This week's featured artist, Leon Redbone, is a difficult man to nail down. Over the years he's claimed to be born in Ontario, and Philadelphia, and even Cyprus. Tell us about a time you got caught in a fib.

Well, there was the time I called someone an 'asshole' in an email to a mutual friend...and then, much later in the convo, I sent the whole email string to the first person. He's not an asshole, but there was some stupid behavior on display at the moment...oh boy.

5) Mr. Redbone has said that taking himself too seriously would be "the gentle kiss of death." What's something that you always take seriously and just can't joke about?

I wish I could say that I have never told, or laughed at, an off-color or shady joke, but everything I start to type I think of something ridiculous I've said or heard. Sometimes it's pretty black humor, but that is how I cope with life most of the time. I mean, my topics were Child Abuse, Racism, Sexism, Donald Trump....but every one of those topics I can think of absurdities that are just nuts and laughable. Not, "isn't it funny that we hit this kid" funny, but seriously, you really thought no one would notice your KID had DISAPPEARED* from your house?? WTF you fucking moron.

6) He has retired from public life, and that includes his Facebook page, which is no longer available. What did you last post to your Facebook page?

Just before I started on this.

7) Leon always wore dark glasses when he performed. Do your sunglasses have gray, green, brown or rose colored lenses?

They are black, but they're also the kind the change from regular glasses to dark in the sun.

8) Recently Dick Van Dyke performed this song at a charity benefit, aided by his a capella quartet, The Vantastix. Last year, at age 90, he campaigned for Bernie Sanders. So Mr. Van Dyke is certainly not a "lazy bones." Who's the most active, energetic person in your life?

There's a woman at my church who is coming up on 80 who is more physically vigorous than pretty much anyone I know, of ANY age. She is astounding. I would have guessed she was closer to 60 at most--only because of her gray hair and some general wrinkliness--but in conversation over the winter she mentioned that her husband was turning 80 (which is equally hard to believe) this year and she's not far behind. They own an apple orchard so they work, physically, every day. Amazing.

9) Random question: You're at dinner with friends and someone begins a very long joke with, "Stop me if you've heard this before." You have heard it, many times before. Do you stop him? Or do you just sit through it again?

Depends on the person. And the joke. If it's a rude joke, like beyond the pale for other hearers, I'll stop them. If it's just a tired old stupid story, I'll probably sit through it again. I've been doing that my whole entire life, after all. Sometimes it sucks being the youngest....

_____
*Local dude moved to a new house with his family, minus one pre-teen daughter. Somehow police got involved back in the old neighborhood--not sure if new residents in home called or what--and the authorities found remains in the garage, which had been there at least several weeks (into months' time). Dude's full of excuses about what could have possibly happened. Same dude told people earlier, prior to moving, that he was going to "get rid" of the girl into fostering or adoption or "whatever." Seriously? I have to laugh to think that someone is THIS STUPID! If I don't laugh, I'm going to want to slit my wrists over the fact that I'm breathing the same air as people like this.


C Is for Cookie
Don't blame Sam. Harriet requested Cookie Monster.
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This week's featured artist, Cookie Monster says his favorite TV show is Monsterpiece Theater. What show do you try never to miss?

We DVR Deadliest Catch, all the NCIS shows and a few things that Beast watches without me (Bill Maher, car shows). I may see about getting Graham Norton on the schedule. I need some silliness.

2) Though he goes by Cookie Monster professionally, he is still called Sid by his family. When will you next get together with your relatives?

I have no idea. Thanksgiving for sure. We might see the locals (Katherine, Alan and the boys) this summer. I'm not planning more than about a week at a time--at most!!--these days.

3) Now for the cookie questions! Where do you weigh in on this age-old controversy: Is a brownie a cookie or a cake?

Cake. Never really thought about it, but I make them in a cake pan. On the other hand, given any way of doing so, I make cookies in cake pans too. SO much faster!

4) Fig Newtons contain no cholesterol. Do you read nutrition labels before eating snacks? Or does knowing the truth about your favorite sweets ruin your enjoyment?

Everything I think tastes good is bad for me at this point. Except almonds and walnuts and fruit.

5) Biscotti are designed for dipping into drinks. Do you like to dunk your cookies?

Yuck.

6) Do you prefer cookies made with milk chocolate chips, dark chocolate chips or semi-sweet chocolate chips? Or are you a rebel who prefers butterscotch chips?

I love love love butterscotch cookies! I'm ok with whatever chocolate is used, though I'm not a giant fan of them, though they are yummy right out of the oven.

7) Bill Murray once said, "Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues." Do you like raisin cookies?

I LOVE oatmeal-raisin cookies! My mom's were the best ever. ...sigh

8) Nabisco still sells animal-shaped cookies in a red box that looks like a train car labeled, "Barnum's Animals." However Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus gave their last-ever performance on May 21, 2017. Have you ever been to the circus?

I've been twice to Ringling Brothers, once to the Moscow Circus and I think I was at a couple small traveling circuses in my life. I wasn't particularly thrilled with the American circuses for various reasons, but the bears in Moscow were amazing.

9) Have you ever received a memorable fortune in a fortune cookie?

Not that I recall. I keep some of them for awhile, but they haven't been life-changing. However, in the midst of answering these questions, we were talking about dinner and the subject of Chinese takeout was raised (by Beast). Maybe tonight's the night I'll get that killer fortune, eh?

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Very Forceful Questions

1. Do you have/have you had any pets?

When I was a wee tot, we had a parakeet named Peppy who lived in a cage in the dining room. I barely remember Peppy, so I was probably under 6 when he died. When I was 10, I started coming home to an empty house after school, so my parents got a dog to "protect" me. Tippi was also fabulously patient--till he got old--and willing to dress up in my clothes and bark like a crazy rabid dog whenever the doorbell rang. We had to have him put down when I was about 24 because he had started biting people when they touched him. My 2-year-old nephew was spending a lot of time with Grandpa & Grandma and there were little kids next door--plus the little doggy had horrible arthritis and was blind as well. That was a rough day. We had finches for awhile after we got married, which was fun but when they had babies, and then more babies, it got massively out of control. Then when we bought our first house, Beast and I hit the pound and picked out our little angel-dog Shady. OK, she was a Shepherd-lab-something mutt, but she really was the most adorable, loving, kind-hearted, joyful dog I've ever known. Also a little fraidy-cat, but that's ok. It was about 5 years later when I finally had to face reality: I'm allergic to dogs. By then, we also had a child who loved that puppy, so she stayed and I sniffled. We went on vacation when she was about 14 and she stayed with a friend/coworker--where she died! OMG this is not a good plan, people. Coworker couldn't reach us for like 10 hours, when Sparky found out he imploded, and it sorta killed the remaining vacation. OK, so no more dogs because Mom sux, but Sparky got two guinea pigs that Christmas and we've had succeeding guineas since then. We're on our last one now. Poor little guy--I don't see him lasting much past winter. Then we're done. No more pets. Except pet rocks. Although, honestly, if I end up alone in the future, I will be getting a little rat-dog of some kind.

2. Do you play video games? If so, do you have a favorite video game series?

Not really. I used to love playing The Sims and Sim Civilization, but I can't operate the controllers on video games to make those games work if I'm not using a computer keyboard. And the new PC versions don't work right either.

3. Any unpopular opinions on anything?

Heh. Well, considering I got yelled at Monday by a patron with a program beef (I have nothing to do with programming), called an ambulance 3 hours after that for a patron who was struggling to breathe, and then had to deal with full-bore Crazy in all its various incarnations for the rest of the week, topped off by a call to the police today to help us eject one of the Crazies (who turned it into a totally horse-and-pony show by refusing to cooperate and having to be practically dragged out)...I don't really care if I'm popular in my opinions. I'm just trying to survive each day with my dignity and sanity intact.
But I do hate Trump if that counts.

4. Do you have a favorite gem? If yes, has anyone ever bought you jewelry with that gem?

I have several sapphires, which I like: two rings, some earrings, and at least one necklace.

5. Favorite story genres?

I really like mysteries and good thrillers that aren't all car chases and technology.

6. What was once a secret that you can now share? (The original question was "What kind of fruit do you hate" which is type of question that I think "who cares?" so I just change them.)

I'm married to a wonderful man who is struggling with alcoholism.

7. Do you like reading?

Uh, yeah, a bit ...?

8. What time is it for you now[;] what are you usually doing at this time of the day?

It's currently 6:10 p.m. During the week I'm just leaving work. Weekends are variable. Right now we're watching our DVR'd Packer game. I expect the actual life game is pretty close to over, so I've turned off Facebook.

9. What character on TV or in film is most similar to you? You can go with looks or personality. Or you can make a quip and go to the next question.

Sandra Bullock's character in "Miss Congeniality." (I wish)

He's a featured player!

10. What's something weird you wanna do? It cannot be weirder than Mr. Watermelonhead.

Is taking classes at a seminary weird? Kinda? If not, then going on an archaeological dig?

11. Have you ever accomplished a New Years Resolution?

Nope. I haven't made one in decades, either.

12. Is there any music artist you look up to?

I have a great deal of respect for Bruce Springsteen, and not just for his career either. I think he's a genuinely good person with some personal demons.

13. Are you allergic to anything? If yes, what?

As mentioned above, dogs. Also, and worse, cats. Pine trees, some grasses, corn pollen. Nothing too tragic. Unless I live in the middle of the world's Corn Belt with 76 cats. [I don't have cats at least, but I do live in the middle of a lot of cornfields.]

14. When was the last time you took a swim? Who else was with you?

I don't swim. I do make sure that if I'm near deep water, there is someone nearby who CAN swim.

15. Would you rather have the ability to sleep for as long as you want, or have the ability to never have to sleep?

Nope, I'll be hibernating all winter, given even the slightest encouragement. I love sleep!

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
My Life Would Suck Without You (2009)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.
This song always cracks me up--it's written so "the way people talk" and it could never have been played on the radio when I was a teen because of That Word! hee hee

1) This video begins with Ms. Clarkson on a swing. When you were young, did you prefer the swings or the slide?

Oh swings! I loved swinging. I still enjoy it, but when I get too high, I now get vertigo which isn't fun. Also, the seats are not made for grown-up hips.

2) The first words are, "Guess this means you're sorry." Who is the last person to apologize to you?

The woman next to me at meeting last night apologized for crying. Oh, and Beast probably apologized a couple of times when I woke him up coming to bed; he does that on auto-pilot. Makes me nuts.

3) One of Kelly's earliest show business jobs was as an extra on Sabrina, The Teenage Witch. Do you believe in witches and warlocks?

I believe that people believe in witchcraft. I think there is magic* in the world. I'm not sure anyone can actually control (all the) forces of nature, but I do like stories about witches.

4) Mentioning witches and seeing Kelly with a lollipop reminds Sam ... She needs to pick up a 1 lb. bag of Dum Dums for Trick or Treaters. Have you done anything in preparation for Halloween?

Nope. I usually don't buy candy till a couple of days before. That way I'm less tempted to eat it all before the kids show up.

5) Ms. Clarkson's advice to aspiring young singers is not to listen to advice. "Everyone gives you their 2¢ worth, but you have to follow your gut." Are you good at soliciting and following advice? Or do you tend to follow your gut?

I solicit occasionally, receive (by the bucket-load) constantly, and allow the good stuff to percolate before I make a decision.

6) The year this song was popular, 2009, saw two major newspapers go out of business. Both the Seattle Post Intelligencer and Rocky Mountain News published their last editions. Do you still read a paper copy of your local newspaper?

The local (daily) paper is abysmal and frankly a joke. I read the headlines via RSS to stay abreast of the Big Stuff. I do read the (weekly) paper though. The writing is better and since it's just about my town, it's actually full of stuff I should know.

7) In 2009, Mark Zuckerberg confirmed that Facebook tried to buy Twitter, but was rebuffed. Which social media site do you spend the most time on?

Facebook, no contest.

8) In 2009, the Balmain Collection included a pair of jeans that retailed for $2,165. What's the most you would pay for denim pants?

I can get Lee jeans for less than $30 if I watch for sales. I would certainly never pay more than $60 or so. I'm a freakin' cheapskate!

9) Random question: You buy a charity raffle ticket and tuck it into a friend's birthday card. Before you can give the card to her, the numbers are drawn and you realize the ticket is worth $500. Do you keep the ticket or give it to your friend, as planned?

Give it over. I don't really do money raffles, or the lottery--deep-seated training about gambling (even though I play in Vegas ... so I'm a bit contradictory! shrug)--so it would feel really cheaty to cash in someone else's present.

_____________
*By "magic" I really mean both "things we don't fully understand" and "amazing, wonderful, miraculous things."

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Gal's Meme, Part One

What’s your favorite word or phrase?

"Actually..." In my head, it's probably more Anglo-Saxon and concise than that. I often mutter, in a British accent, "Fuck right bloody off, arsehole!" while smiling at people. I need to stop that before I get to England as THEY will bloody-well understand me and chastise me. :)

Tell us about a person who made you smile today.

I spent my afternoon at the birthday party of my 3-year-old great nephew Eli--though this photo is from a couple of months ago. Same shirt today though. lol He is as sweet-tempered as he looks in this photo, very huggy and kind-hearted.
His 10-month-old brother Jo is also dead-adorable, but that one is going to be a pistol once he gets upright and moving. We're going on vacation next month with them. It's going to be interesting; he should be walking (i.e. running) by then.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?

(as opposed to 8 a.m. last night?) I think I was just leaving the bathroom and going back to bed. Not that I slept more, naturally.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

I was just starting this. It's been kind of a nutty half hour--making something to eat, seeing Beast off to a meeting, finding the photos of the boys, watching the women's gymnastics from the Olympics....

What is your favorite holiday? Why?

I love Thanksgiving. I love the reason for it, and I love the food and all the family gatherings.

Tell us about a visit to another country.

We're going to England in 29 days. My nephew Jesse is getting married near Bristol. We're renting a house with my niece and her family (above) and her parents (my sister & bro-in-law). We might not kill each other. It's probably the first time I've gone overseas without a mapped-out plan of what is available to do in the area. I have a couple of lists of sites and restaurants, but otherwise, TOTALLY playing it by ear, and that's fine.

What is the last thing you said aloud?

"Bon voyage!" to Beast as he left. Being silly: he'll be back by 9.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

I'm working on Diet Dr. Pepper now. Just finished some Diet Coke from McD's.

What are you wearing right now?

Army green clamdiggers and a white (with some blue) T-shirt, over the requisite underwear. And a layer of sweat.

What was the last thing you ate?

Some angel food cake bites. I should get some fruit salad to go with, since that was the deal.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

Nope.

When was the last time you ran?

I can't even remember.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?

Still watching women's gymnastics on TV.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

...mountains. Please. Alone.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message to on Facebook?

I posted something in a Facebook group an hour or so ago. Need to do my "who died in a gunfight today" post after I finish this meme.

Ever go camping? If yes, tell us about one time.

I have. There are not enough words in English to express the amount of dislike I have for camping. No plumbing, no heat or a/c, bugs, animals snuffling around outside, dirt, hard ground... And allergies. Every . Single . Time.

Do you have a tan?

I have some connected freckles on my arms. That's about the best I get.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?

...maybe that's where my mind went. (no, otherwise)

What is your guilty pleasure?

Sweets.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Best Day of My Life (2013)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) This song begins by mentioning clouds. Do you see clouds in the sky this fine Saturday?

I see nothing but clouds this not-so-fine Saturday. The sky, she be white.

2) Lead singer Zac Barnett sings that, "Everything is looking up." What are you looking forward to today?

Not much, aside from not having a ton of stuff to do: some laundry, a grocery-shopping trip later, and I'm sure there's NASCAR or something involved cars going fast.

3) 2016 is not yet half over, but what's been your best day so far this year?

I had a couple of dreamlike, just-about-perfect-in-every-way days on the cruise.

4) The members of the group, American Authors, met in college. When is the last time you heard from a school chum? Do you know them from grammar school, high school or college?

I've been talking to a friend from my single-digit years who went to the same after-school babysitter with me back then. It's quite weird that I have literally known her longer than anyone on Facebook aside from family, 46 years. I have another friend from almost as long ago who was my bestie in junior high and high school--though to be clear I met her when we were 6--and then quite a few people from elementary school on through graduate school.

5) One of the all-time best-selling American authors is romance writer Danielle Steele. She's been writing for more than 40 years and has sold more than 800 million books. Have you read any of her work?

I read Palomino in my mom's Good Housekeeping. That was her first book, I think, and as a young teen it was SOOO VERY roMANTic and heartstopping. I loved it. Then I glanced through her books once I started the librarian gig and was professionally appalled at them. Eventually, about 15 years ago, I decided to read whatever one was coming out just to say I'd read a recent one.O . M . G . L'horreur!

6) Have you ever dreamed of being an author?

All the time. Still do. If I'm gonna do it, I should just do it. But I'm terrified because of all the really good books I've read. I don't want to suck.

7) Do you have an e-reader?

I do. It's currently charging. I finished Tami Hoag's latest this morning--really good by the way!

8) American Authors rang in 2016 in Chicago, giving an outdoor concert on New Year's Eve on a stage not far from Lake Michigan. There are 5 Great Lakes in all,including Lake Michigan. Without looking it up, name the other 4.

Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, Superior. It's easy once you know the acronym. ;-)

9) Random question: You see photos on Facebook of a dinner party hosted by a friend. You recognize most of the attendees, yet you weren't invited. How do you feel? Left out and angry? Do you wonder what you may have done to offend your friend? Or do you just forget about it and move on?

I'd probably wonder why I wasn't included, but it does sort of depend on the occasion and how close a friend we're talking about. If it were a (for instance) apparently church-wide event at church, I'd be very hurt. If it were a birthday party or something at someone's home...meh, that's fine. I'd miss the cake, but I'm not going to be all pouty about it. Generally, I think I would try to forget I saw the pictures and move on.

Thursday 13

(Link in meme-roll)
Rules for Facebook* (and other social media sites as needed)

1. Every day, post pictures of your kids captioned with things like "my heroes", "my babies" (even if they're in school or older), and "amazing" things they've done. Like take their first step, join a sports team, smile in their Kindergarten photo, etc. Be sure to focus on the firstborn especially.
2. Every day, tell people you are grateful for whatever your latest kick is: working out, skywriting, creative toenail clipping. Take LOTS of pictures of yourself "proving" You Did It!
3. Be sure to momjack every post your friends make about their kids and/or their day by injecting yourself and/or your kids/family into their story. "I remember when your baby Angie was diagnosed with pediatric leukemia because that's the day Verdant-Green found out she was going to sit in the blue chair at daycare!! Crazy, eh?" Or, "Your dad was nice. I wish he hadn't died. Remember when he drove us to my 16th birthday party after I thought my party was ruined because my mom and dad's car broke and they told me I'd have to cancel the reservation at the roller rink. I was so mad that day!"
4. When people you don't like very much ask you questions, be sure to respond by answering someone else. Who didn't ask that question. For example, Jane asks, "How is your knee feeling where you fell on it?" be sure to answer "I can't believe how much my knee still hurts, Kathy! You didn't tell me it would hurt this long!"
5. Train your kids to have the same fake smile you wear in all your selfies and to plaster it on whenever a camera appears.
6. Thank God publicly at least weekly for your husband and kids and extended family because they are awesome.
7. Leave people wondering if you actually have a job because you literally NEVER talk about it. If you happen to be James Bond, we know he'd make some shit up about the water cooler, but not you. Nope. You are the original "stealth employee." [This does apply to those SAHM and SAHDs, by the way. No mention of housework, errands, dishwashing or shopping, or anyone delivering anything--that's forbidden. Only discuss your family and Very Close Friends.]
8. Be happy all the time. EVERYTHING is fine. ALWAYS.
9. Mention at least weekly the same "weird fact" about your life you think makes you super-duper special: your mis-matching eye colors, your twin brother who was a high school baseball star, your GPA in college, your dad's run for governor in 1982. But DO NOT mention anything interesting like your GPA was so high despite having mono twice, or that your twin brother works for MSF (Doctors Without Borders). Or, frankly, anything else anyone else has done. Stick to what we know already. Don't vary it too much or we might get lost.
10. Remind us regularly that your kids are star athletes, get perfect grades, wear cool clothes, have awesome friends with whom they do unbelievable things, think about growing up to be superheroes or running Apple or the U.S., and always have a fabulous attitude about things. Because those of us with normal kids who are klutzy, dyslexic, too poor to buy fun clothes, don't make friends easily, and are just hoping to not get suspended from school tomorrow so forget far-distant adulthood feel like total losers. This is REALLY IMPORTANT. Never, ever, share frustrations or moments of even vaguely awkward parenting. Because you never have them.
11. Always be sincere. And earnest. These are critical parts of your social media persona. When in doubt, pull out SMUG. That guarantees a win.
12. Always talk about your husband's side job. Not the one that pays the mortgage, but the one you can participate in yourself and thus tell us about it. Endlessly.
13. I can't think of another one. I'm too crabby from the first 12.

* I was actually prepared to post this ON Facebook when I realized that this is a much better place to rant. No one reading this that I know on Facebook does this so I'm hoping you won't be offended by it, whereas the people on Facebook who are self-aware enough to see themselves will get all pissy.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Boulevard of Broken Dreams (2004)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) The "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" video begins with the gentlemen of Green Day dealing with car trouble. If your car overheated, what's the first thing you would do to remedy the situation?

Pull over and turn off the engine. And then wait. And then add water to the radiator. Most likely, I'd be calling either Beast (if it was local) or AAA.

2) Thinking of cars, lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong has had his share of trouble behind the wheel and was busted for driving well beyond the speed limit. Was your last ticket for parking, or was it a moving violation?

Moving violation. I can't remember exactly but it was either for plowing into my neighbor's work truck due to inattentiveness or for going 46 in a 40 zone in a nearby community known for ticketing for EVERYTHING. Those two things happened fairly close together.

3) Billie Joe says "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" was inspired by the Edward Hopper painting, "Nighthawks." Tell us about a piece of artwork that you enjoy. (Yes, the macaroni picture frame created for you by your nephew counts.)

My dad's cousin Bill's career was in advertising, doing the artwork and design, but did a lot of painting and drawing on the side for fun. He drew all his own Christmas cards every year--we still have those--and for our wedding present he presented us with a framed watercolor painting he did of Canyon de Chelly which continues to hang in a place of prominence in our house nearly 30 years later. It's absolutely delightful, and it reminds me regularly that a) I need to go to Canyon de Chelly someday, and b) the weird things that connect families together. I only met him once, when my parents were taking me off to college orientation. We drove through Des Moines and stopped for the afternoon and evening at Bill's home and then some random restaurant for dinner. My memories of the visit consist of sitting in his living room and then bathroom in an agony of anxiety-induced GI distress, and then having a similar problem at the restaurant. Apparently, however, I impressed him with my ... something. Dad & Mom said he raved about what a great kid I was whenever they spoke after that. And then he painted a picture for me. You never know, do you?

4) Let's go back to childhood. Was the home where you grew up located on a boulevard, an avenue, a street, a lane or a road?

Street. I was in the Indian Tribe range of names. Denver does (did, historically, anyway) this awesome thing where all the streets are alphabetized by theme. So there are the Indian Tribes, the Trees, the Flowers, the Universities, etc, etc. Sometimes, it's doubled, so A-word, A-word, B-word, B-word, and so on. I grew up in the list of Acoma, Bannock, Cherokee, Delaware, Elati, Fox, Galapago, Huron, Inca, Jason, Kalamath, Lipan, Mariposa, Navajo ... run. And yes, as a matter of fact I do still have them all memorized. :-)

5) This song won Green Day a Grammy for Record of the Year. What positive feedback have you received recently?

My therapist is adamant that the switch of medications has changed my entire affect. I can't tell, but I'll take it as a compliment.

6) Green Day uses their Facebook page to let more than 32 millions know what the group is doing. What's the last thing you posted to social media?

The last thing I wrote myself on Facebook was last night's (daily) Gun Violence posting about the previous day's toll: 75 total incidents involving gunfire, 28 of which did not result in injury or death, but in the others, 25 people were killed and 37 more were injured. I've been doing those posts for about two months now, and in that time there've been nearly 4,000 gun incidents, nearly 1,100 people killed, and over 2,500 people injured. Call me crazy, but that seems ... high.

7) In 2004, when this song was popular, Ken Jennings had a still unbeaten string of 74 wins on Jeopardy! What game show do you think you'd do well on?

I'd do ok on Jeopardy! Actually, I watched enough game shows as a child that I'd probably do well on most of them, except perhaps The Price is Right. I'm not hyper enough or price-conscious enough to do that one.

8) Also in 2004, Lance Armstrong was in the midst of his own Tour de France winning streak. Now we know he cheated. Tell us about a time you broke the rules.

The times I've broken the rules have been comparatively minor. I break rules semi-regularly at work in terms of cataloging, but again not the big rules. I'm just not that kind of person.

9) 2004 is when Morgan Spurlock released Super Size Me, his documentary about eating nothing but McDonald's for a month. What's the last fast food restaurant you visited?

Heh, that would be Mickey D's yesterday for breakfast. I literally ate all my meals out yesterday though only one fast-food stop.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
That's All (1983)
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In the lyrics, Phil Collins sings of a time he was wrong when he thought he was right. Tell us about a recent time when you got it wrong.

I got WAAAAY over-involved in a conversation on Facebook today that I really should've walked away from. It wasn't my issue, and I ended up getting irritated with stupid people saying stupid things, and then getting pissed and feeling like an idiot for popping off at people...and then wondering why I got so involved in someone else's drama in the first place. Gah....

2) The song is addressed to a lover that Phil clearly feels is contrary. When he says, "day," she says, "night." Is there anyone in your life who seems to disagree with you all or most of the time?

...uhm. It's possible that I'm that guy. {facepalm}

3) This was Genesis' first Top 10 hit in the US. Can you name another Phil Collins or Genesis song?

"Sussudio." "Illegal Alien." "Invisible Touch." "I Can't Dance." "Follow You Follow Me." "In the Air Tonight." "Abacab." "Jesus He Knows Me." I was a bit of a fan back in the 80s, yo.

4) Phil Collins is a model train enthusiast. Is there anything special that you collect?

By default, I have a large-ish S&P collection, though compared to some most of the people in the pictures at that link, I'm a mere piker!

5) Collins was awarded an honorary doctorate from the Berklee College of Music in Boston. At the ceremony, he delivered the commencement address. When did you last give a presentation or deliver a speech?

Hmmm. I guess it's been awhile. I did a couple of Sundays' worth of liturgy at church in the spring. I'm up again this fall at some point. I will probably pontificate at the next meeting of the catalogers in my consortium. ...
Oh, snap! I talk at meetings every week!! Though, technically, it's not a speech. I've led the meetings a couple of times, and actually this reminds me that I do need to come up with something for next week about "Forgetting."
Also, Sunday School starts up again tomorrow, so I guess I'll be talking there, too.

6) One of Phil Collins' early solo albums was called, Hello, I Must Be Going. He took the title from a song in the 1930 Marx Bros. movie, Animal Crackers. What's the last black and white movie or TV show that you watched?

Honestly? I find black-and-white to be difficult to watch. I struggle with b&w photography too. It's not a snob thing: it's just hard for me to focus properly. I can't think of a black-and-white show/movie I've watched in the past year, unless we happened across a Twilight Zone or something by accident.

7) In 1983, when this song was popular, the Lotus 1-2-3 program made it easier for PC users to build spreadsheets. Are you answering these questions on a PC or a Mac? Laptop or desktop? Tablet or phone?

I'm on a 7!?-year-old Gateway laptop (the sticker on the bottom says 2008--holy shit! I need a new computer!). Haven't ever owned a Mac--see no reason to change that now. It's too hard for me to type fast on a tablet or phone, so I only use those for texting or very quick Google searches.

8) 1983 is also the year when McDonald's introduced McNuggets. What's your favorite chicken recipe (assuming it's not McNuggets)?

My mom's baked chicken "recipe" is pretty good. And the recipe I got at my bridal shower from a neighbor lady--whose daughter was my flute teacher--for hot chicken salad is awesome. I've been craving it for awhile, but I need to gather the ingredients.

9) In 1983, President Reagan signed the bill making Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday a holiday. What's your favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving. Relatively low-stress, revolves around food and family and football, and doesn't involve presents or endless decision-making on what to serve people. It's all programmed: just add people!

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
Crazy Random Twenty Meme

Have you ever demolished a wall or building?

I've participated in demolition, yes. My dad was in construction, which often starts with destruction. Beast is a big fan of demo, too. 

If you and a friend both wanted the same thing would you let the friend get it first?

Sure. Of course it depends on what "it" was, and if there was only one "it" left on Earth. And some other vagaries of the situation as they arose.

Have you ever argued over who should pay for something?

I'm pretty sure everyone except my niece Katharine and everyone under age 20 has done this.

Do you have any family heirlooms?

We are stuffed to the gills with family heirlooms. Got rid of several yesterday--they are now Sparky's responsibility. Still have over twice as many as what he took left here.

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?

Probably not. If I believed in past lives, I'm sure I would have no fun stories of exciting and wealthy past lives. We've always been serfs.

What's your favorite ocean?

I do like the Pacific.

Do you correct peoples mistakes?

Sometimes. I'm getting better at biting my tongue. If it's seriously dangerous, though, I will speak up.

Have you ever helped out an injured animal?

Yes, I've had pets. Also, we took a maimed bunny found in our yard to the vet once. Our dog caught it and broke its back legs, poor thing.

Do you throw bread for the ducks?

Not anymore. They need to learn to fend for themselves.

Do you think babies are little bundles of joy or smelly noisy things?

They are both. Most are in the middle of this spectrum, but there are always outliers that live towards the extreme ends.

Do you give money to buskers?

Not usually. Then again, there aren't a lot of (any) buskers in my area.

Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails?

No. Hate them. Please, if I see another "If you have a sister/aunt/friend..." thing on Facebook I might vomit. And the ones that say "I'll bet none of my so-called 'Christian' friends will post this..." about God -- those I want to kill. With fire!

Do you often have a tune in your head you can't name?

No, I can usually name whatever I've got scrolling through.

Has anyone ever approached you thinking you were someone else?

All . The . Time. I love people who ask--after I've said that no, I'm not [whoever they think I am]--"are you sure?" Yeah, dammit, I'm pretty clear on my family and former workplaces!!

Have you ever starred in an amateur or professional video?

My father-in-law filmed every-damn-thing. Beast did too when we were first married. My brother-in-law took some classic Super-8 of me hula-hooping at about age 8.

Have you ever been in a position of authority?

I'm middle management. And a mom. And a teacher. So, yeah.

If you were ruler of your own country what would you call it?

"In Desperate Trouble"

And what title would you give yourself?

Now that its former owner is retired, "Bumbler-in-Chief" will do.

If you invented a monster what would you call it?

"Cat., Upon Awakening"

And what features would it have?

Really scary hair and squinty, blind eyes. Incoherence is a bonus, too.

Saturday 9

(Link in meme-roll)
Bubbly (2007)
... because Jodi suggested Colbie Caillat
Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) Singer Colbie Caillat says this song was inspired by a trip to "the beach and having a wonderful day with a person you like." Have you been to the beach yet this summer?

Nope. And I probably won't be. Beaches are not my thing, though I don't really have anything against them either.

2) Are you careful about applying sunscreen?

Yes, although I'm outside so rarely in the summer because of allergies that it's kind of a non-issue. I don't even think we have any in the house at this point. Beast never puts any on. smh

3) Colbie made her TV debut in a 2009 episode of Saturday Night Live. Are you a big SNL fan?

I'm not a "big" fan, but I watch it semi-regularly.

4) "Bubbly" is often a synonym for champagne. When's the last time you enjoyed a glass of bubbly?

Good gosh, probably my 20th wedding anniversary. We had a bottle of Dom. That was 9 years ago, and we won't be having any alcohol next year.

5) Colbie sang the National Anthem at the third game of the Red Sox/Cardinals World Series in 2013. How is your favorite baseball team doing so far this season?

What is this "baseball" of which you speak? I haven't watched a game in two years, live or on TV. Baseball is really not my thing.

6) In 2005, Ms. Caillat tried out for Season 4 of American Idol but was eliminated very early in the process, before she could even audition for Simon, Paula and Randy. The winner that year was Carrie Underwood. Are you a Carrie Underwood fan?

She's ok. Better than some of the other folks that show has produced.

7) In 2007, when "Bubbly" was popular, actress Yvonne deCarlo died. She was best known as Lily on The Munsters. If you had to choose (and yes, this Saturday you have to), would you rather hang out with Lily Munster or Morticia Addams?

Morticia. Of course. There's no contest.

8) In 2007, MySpace was faced with a serious challenge from Facebook, and it's obvious which social network won. Did you have a MySpace account? If so, do you still post to it?

I ... think I did have one, though I rarely used it.

9) Random question: Which have you had longer, your ironing board or your plunger?

Ironing board. Once you have one, short of natural disaster or losing it in a move, you really never need another one. Plungers...they do wear out, or rather, age out.

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday Six

1. Do you do a newsletter or email subscription for your blog, and why or why not?

No, because the blog is for fun, not work.

2. Of the people you recall who have commented on your blog some time in the past six months, how many have you met in person?

Uhh...not going back to check who's commented, but I know Amy and that's probably it.

3. Of that same group of people, how many have you ever spoken to by phone?

Just Amy.

4. Do you feel that your blog has helped build your social media network, or that your social media network has helped build your blog?

I...uh...yes. Blogs have broadened my friendship base in most cases.

5. How many people in your social media network do you know from a face-to-face conversation?

What is this "Social Media Network"? My friends are my friends, online and off, in-person or virtual. I don't make a distinction. Of the 300 or so people I'm friends with on Facebook, I think under 20 are "fake friends"--I don't friend people unless I mean it. There is no "social media" differentiation here for me.

6. If you had to guess, what percentage of people in your social media network would you say have ever set “virtual foot” on your blog?

I have no idea what the hell this means. I guess I should have mentioned this above, but very few of my IRL friends and family know about my blog. I'm not always, uhm, as tactful about some of them as I could be. On the other hand, there's nothing on my blog, as far as I can make it, that identifies me or my friends and family directly. Where the people intersect, I'm very careful who I add to my Facebook friends and I don't identify them as such. But they could certainly mess me up with my family. ;-)

Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Sunday 7

Name the seven items in the list of reasons someone might want to slap a Facebook user that would most annoy you.

1. My first one isn't on the list, but pisses me off more than anything else: people who hijack your post and start a flame war in the comments. I have a nephew who does this regularly, and seems completely tone-deaf about it. Then again, it might be a cultural thing; another person did the same thing with something I posted last night. Both these folks are British. {lol}


2. Next up is also not on the list: people who create a Facebook account and post a picture or maybe one status update...and then never, ever return. Thanks. Why bother?


3. This is very similar to my second one: y'know those causes that crop up periodically? Like when SOPA was about to be voted on in Congress in January and lots of people (including me) turned their profile photos to black squares? OK, there are still people 'protesting' that, with their black squares. Hello??? Issue is resolved (for now), move on. Related to this is all the people who climbed on board with Invisible Children against Joseph Kony but did absolutely nothing besides sharing the video and saying how bad he is. Uhm, a little research, and maybe a little active (financial or other) support goes a much longer way, folks.


4. Oversharers. I really do NOT need to know how many inches of intestines were removed during your surgery. Nor do I want to know in excruciating detail what you and your S.O. fought about this morning.  This is a fine line, of course, and what I consider an overshare might not match up with others'--e.g. I used Facebook to update family and close friends about Beast's surgery last month, but I did at least try to only post the personal stuff to people fitting that description.


5. Finally hitting the list...REALLY HATE people who post about their games to everyone. It's not that hard to set up a group of people with whom you play that game so that you can just pollute their walls with your need for plowing, assassinating, or assorted building materials. Which is why, friends, if you don't play The Sims on Facebook, you might not even know I do.


6. I'm not a fan of incessant notifications but that's not really the fault of my friends, it's my fault for not setting up the notifications right. So, yeah, this basically isn't an issue for me, anymore, though it used to be.


7. Chronic status updates also annoy me, but honestly most of my friends are too busy to do this. I can think of two people who abuse the updates, and I mostly don't see them anymore because I basically never reply. It's interesting, actually: a coworker shares websites and other Fb posts a lot but that doesn't bother me as much as those friends who just post personal stuff every couple of hours: "I'm tired, gonna take a nap" is way more annoying than "Hey look at this fun video/explanation of how to put a duvet together easily/museum exhibit that started this week."

Here's the thing: a lot of the behaviors that are annoying on Facebook are every bit as annoying in people IRL. People who hijack conversations annoy me a lot too, as do people who can only talk about their Desperate Problems all the time. There's also a difference between teenagers who do this--because they generally are clueless about social niceties--and adults--who really oughta have a clue.

Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The Imaginary Meme, Part One

1. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?

Uhm, no. And if the answer were to be "yes" I'd still say no.

2. Who do you have a celebrity crush on now?

Still like George Eads a lot.

3. Would you date someone you met online?

As I say frequently, I'm afraid Beast wouldn't approve, so no. Were I single, yes.

4. Do you wear underwear always?

Not under by jammies, no.

5. Do you hate yourself at times?

No; I never do anything that could be hated! [of course I do!]

7. Do you like dirty movies?

I've found that dirt makes my DVD player cranky. So, no.

8. Could you believe Josha Ledet was voted off Idol?

Who? What? When? How? No...let's get back to "Who?"

9. When was the last time that you bought a car?

Just over a year ago. Paid cash. At Carmax, for a used Ford Escape.

10. Have you ever been camping?

Too many times. I hate camping. I like indoor plumbing, heat, restaurants, and a roof made out of something other than nylon or canvas.

11. How many times a day do you go on facebook?

Technically, I nearly always look like I'm online, and when I'm at home, it's always open even when I'm not actually using the computer.

12. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?

Absolutely no idea at all.

13. Have you ever worried that you'd cut off a limb?

One of my own? No. Tree limbs? Yes, though "worried" is not exactly the emotional temperature I would name.

14. Where did you get your last email from?

The most recent thing went directly to my spam folder, with the subject heading Search Th0usands 0f Single W0men! from C0ugar Dating {c0ugars@fruitat0m-d0t-c0m}. [Yes I amended their spelling...]

15. Favorite website?

Goodreads is my new favorite.

16. Are you down with ghetto?

Just with O.P.P.

17. Will the world end in fire or ice?

Or just inertia floating away into space? I don't know. Don't much care one way or the other as long it's not in the next, oh, 70-80 years.

18. Do you believe in the afterlife?

Kinda. Maybe. Or not.

19. Would you be upset if facebook stopped working?

I'd be annoyed with my computer if it just stopped. If Facebook was shut down, I'd probably manage to survive. Somehow.

20. How did you start your blog?

January 2004. The layout and theme has changed since then. I think it may need to be changed again....

The Queen's Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
The What's Trending Meme

1. Political ticker: Santorum said "bull***t" on the campaign trail. Do you think this was necessary?

Oh for FUCK's sake! Of course it wasn't "necessary," but sometimes profanity just FEELS so damn good, y'know? I find it hysterical that it's such a big freakin' deal; nice to know he uses that mouth for something besides ... uh, yeah ... kissing his wife.

2. Entertainment: How hungry are you for The Hunger Games?

I am hoping to see it at the theater ... eventually. Soon, obviously.

3. What is trending on the blogging front is the death of blogging. Do you agree? And if so, have you made funeral arrangements for your blog?

My main blog has been in hospice care for some time now. I'm not really fussed; hospice does a nice job and they generally have access to good drugs. Frankly and in all seriousness, if all the stupid, misspelled, random, music- and flash-heavy blogs disappeared from the net, I wouldn't call it a loss.

4. Facebook: Do you like the new timeline?

I don't have it on my account yet, and no, I don't like it. It's hard to track what's going on. Why the timeline in the middle? Why not at one side? Oooohhhh, because then it would pretty much look like my current homepage!

5. Nationally: The tragic Trayvon Martin story and vigilante Neighborhood Watch citizens with guns ready to shoot anything that moves. Do you think we should have Neighborhood Watch groups?

Yes, I do think Neighborhood Watch is a good idea. Whether people should be armed is a completely different matter.

I'm of two minds about this: it's a tragedy and I'm glad the apparent inequities are being publicized (again--in case we missed the last, I dunno, kabillion times), but I feel rather sorry for the guy who shot him only because he's become the whipping boy (check the history of THAT phrase, yo) for something that probably happens every day in this country. He should be punished for killing someone, no doubt, but so should those people who didn't properly train him to handle the situation.

6. Tweeters on Twitter are currently discussing the #IWasStupidEnoughTo hashtag. What were you stupid enough to do? Do tell.

I was stupid enough to use my real name and location for about a month when I started blogging. I am NOT stupid enough to tell you what I consider the real stupid stuff I've done!

7. On the Health Watch: Did you know that popcorn is full of antioxidants? Now that it's healthy, will you still eat it?

I barely eat it now. I probably should eat it; don't know why I stopped.

8. (Yes, I said 8!) The whole world is freaking out about fracking. Can you explain it to me?

The freaking out over it? Or the actual fracking itself? If the latter, here is a decent place to start reading up on it. If the former, see agar on apples, fen-phen, HRT, or any other of the myriad of other Panic Attacks force-fed to us by the media. Not that we shouldn't be aware of what fracking is and the reality of what long-term effects it has on us, our communities and so forth, but freaking out is not helpful.

Friday Fill-Ins

(Link in meme-roll)

1. It's time to go to bed. Wait. It's not? Sad face....

2. Sparky, can we Skype tomorrow? ... and don't forget the to remind your roomie if you're staying in your room to do it!

3. I'm trying to stay awake and be productive tonight.

4. "Yes, Beth - I AM THE UNICORN!! :D", that was the last funny comment I received. This was on Facebook today; no, my name is NOT Beth, but someone else who commented...and no, I have no idea what this means)

5. Please send caffeine.

6. I can't get as upset with my boss as others cause I'm in it for the long haul. But she is REALLY being psycho again. As usual, really.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to sleep (isn't that obvious??), tomorrow my plans include Skyping with Sparky and then going to see Amy, and Sunday, I want to survive! Sunday School, bell choir performance, work. Long MF day.

She called it 'Monday Meme'....

(swiped from Kwizgiver)
...but I'm doing it on a Saturday...


1. What is your dream career, and what path do you plan to take to get there?

I'm 48. Probably half of my career path is behind me. I have been a librarian, a temp worker, a newspaper carrier, a babysitter, a library page, an intern at my church, a conference setter-upper (and tearer-downer), and a cheese-seller, among other paid positions so far. I'm hoping to stick with the librarian career for another couple of decades, and of course, I'll always be Mom, and not just to Sparky: I noticed a couple of weeks ago that one of the youth group girls, now in college, added me as her mom on her Facebook page.

2. Who do you aspire most to be like?

Myself. The difficulty, of course, is that I'm not always sure who I am. In terms of whom I emulate, there is a long list that starts with my dad and moves through various coworkers and friends.

3. What do you like in a best friend?

Honesty, humor, and intellect. The latter doesn't have to be "book smarts" but the ability to think outside of her (or his) personal life is imperative.

4. Do you currently have any squishes (people you really want to be best friends with)?

So glad someone has come up with a term for this! And to think, only about 30 years too late for me! There are a few people that I'd like to get to know better, but I'm not sure I'm in the market for a Best Friend. Then again, are we ever?

5. What is your ideal platonic relationship?

Uhm? I don't think I understand how this is different from best friends, is it?

6. Best late night IM conversation story.

See above re my age. Late night IM conversations don't happen here. I'm smarter than that.

7. List one person you’d like to wear the sweater of, one person you’d like to bake cookies with, and one person you’d like to drive around and get lost with. (can be celebrities or fictional characters, has to be three different people and not all the same person)

Sweater: my dad. Cookies: Jenny, or Amy (because I hate making cookies and I know they make good cookies, so it would all work out). Drive around/get lost: I do this regularly with Beast; it's one of our hobbies. And I would like to do this with Sparky, since one of his biggest fears--seriously--is being lost. Which he was about 3 months ago, at night. He called pretty close to a state of total panic.

8. Describe your current best friend(s).

Well, one of them seemingly effortlessly always seems to do/say/be just the right thing at the right time. One of them has known me since September 1982 and still wants to hang with me; we've been through it all, on parallel tracks, in a rather weird way.

9. What is a strange, little-known fact about you?

I loathe "women's magazines." Is that strange? I don't think it really should be. Women's magazines, from what I've seen, seem to hate women.

10. What is a career you wanted to have when you were younger, and still kind of want to have now?

There have been several long periods when I wanted to go to seminary.

11. If you could have tea and pleasant conversation with one person, who would it be?

Well, since you brought up tea, I guess it behooves me to say one of my British rellies, eh?

12. If you had a time machine, what era would you go to?

Stipulating that I could come home when things got dicey, I'd love to visit the early settlement (by whites) of Colorado: the mining camps, the prairies, the homesteads. It would be weird to run into my grandparents!

13. What celebrity or historical figure would you love to have as your best friend and why?

Being a woman makes this tricky since, as a woman in history, most of the historical figures I admire wouldn't have given me the time of day. In fantasyland, I would love to watch Michelangelo work, and I'd love to chat with Thomas Jefferson. Edging towards more realistic choices, I'd go with Laura Ingalls Wilder and/or Corrie Ten Boom.

14. What fictional character would you love to have as your best friend and why?

Laura Ingalls. No brainer question!

15. If you could have one wish, what would it be? (cannot be related to romance or sex)

I would have access to a private jet that could take me whenever I want to go to the vacation home we would own in Colorado. So, yeah, it's a twofold wish, but structured as a single one.

16. If you were trapped on a deserted island and could only take one item, what would it be?

I hate answering this question because I'm far too practical to NOT say "a boat" or "food and water."

17. If you could pick one career other than the one you are pursuing/plan to pursue, what would it be?

Hmm. Part of the reason I'm a librarian is because there's not really anything else I want to do.

18. What is your best memory you have with a friend?

Laughing in a slightly manic, out-of-control way. It happens often enough that I can't really pin the occasion down to just one example.

19. Do you have any peculiar interests that most people don’t know about?

Hmm. Probably not people who read this blog regularly, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of people at church don't know how much I swear or how irreverent I am most of the time.

20. What were your favorite childhood toys? Do you still have them?

(Metal) jacks and ball, jumprope, Barbie, toy cars, also metal. I have most of the cars. As well as most of Beast's childhood car (Hot Wheels and Matchbox) collection, and Sparky's, and perhaps my nephews' as well. We have a LOT of toy cars.

21. Favorite baked good?

Iced sugar cookies. I bought some tonight to take to the youth group meeting tomorrow. They're in the car, because if I bring them in, I will each them. All 16. Before tomorrow's meeting.

22. If your best friend were here right now, what would you do with them? (cannot list best friend as your romantic/sexual partner)

I'm sure we'd discuss boys. And food. And philosophical issues. And books. Not necessarily in that order, but not necessarily NOT in that order, either.

23. Who would you love to play video games with?

I'm kind of a solitary player, at those times that I play them (if we're talking non-computer games). This is pretty much why the Facebook games eventually annoy the hell out of me: you are penalized if you don't have enough friends playing.

24. If you could visit any country, which one would it be?

That I haven't been to: Australia. That I have been to: The Netherlands.

25. Are there any friends you miss having around?

Yes. There are more family members that I miss having around, though.

W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Exotic animals in black wedding dresses create a stink

1) With today (Oct. 20) being "Shampoo Day," I'm curious... Do you actually "rinse and repeat" or just rinse without repeating?

The only time I "repeat" is when my hair is WAAAAYYYYY filthy. That would make it about twice a year and it would also involve gardening, camping, lengthy power outages (thus no water pressure), etc.

2) The 2011 World Series kicked off Wednesday with the St. Louis Cardinals beating the Texas Rangers. If you went a baseball game today, what would you buy from the concession stands?

A sweatshirt. It's way too cold to be at a baseball game today!!

3) October is National Squirrel Awareness Month. Do you find squirrels to be cute animals, annoying pests, or something in between?

I love squirrels. They are adorable. No, I'm serious. If they wanna eat the birdseed, that's their problem.

4) On Tuesday, tigers, lions and bears were let loose in Zanesville, Ohio, by their owner before he committed suicide, leading to a hunt in which 49 of the animals, including 18 endangered Bengal tigers, were killed. How would you react if you saw "Caution exotic animals. Stay in your vehicle" being displayed on a road sign?

I would be very confused and hope I didn't have a breakdown. That would be my luck.

5) Researchers from University College London has published the results of a study on Facebook's effect on the brain. They say the size of some parts of the brain correlate to how many friends people have on Facebook. How do you feel about the effect of today's social media on your brain?

My brain is rotting and falling out of my sinuses right now, and I totally blame Facebook. I'm sure it's not allergies. Or a cold.

6) The authors of that study also said that the people studied with the biggest Facebook friends list tended to have the most "real world" friends. How does the amount of your "real world" friends compare to the friends you have solely over the Internet?

I'm not sure how to quantify this. I will say this: there is only one person on my friends list on Fb that I don't know--I should delete her since I don't even play that game anymore--and I don't think I have any friends who are actually animals IRL. So I think I'm doing ok.

7) For her Fall 2012 clothing line, Vera Wang has created a bunch of black wedding dresses. What would you think if you went to a wedding and the bride surprised everyone by wearing a fully black dress?

I don't care what people wear at weddings. Really. I guess I'd be a little shocked at first, but in the end the dress is not the marriage.

8) My fiance and I had to remove two dead mice from behind my couch this week. Talk about a disgusting stench. What has been the worst odor you remember smelling recently?

Two ballasts (i.e. light fixtures) went out at work today. The one in the children's room wasn't so bad, but damn the one in the workroom gave me a killer headache; it smelled like burnt skunk. I am NOT a fan of skunk, but burnt skunk is far worse.

W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Dogs on surf boards join a Facebook status chain

1) Last week women on Facebook started another one of those supposed "raise breast cancer awareness" status chains which end up just confusing men. This one had me saying "I'm 14 weeks and craving Skittles." Instantly people started asking me if I was pregnant. This has angered some people (including a blogger who posted a rant about it because she says that "pretending you're pregnant isn't cute"). What do you think of status chains like this?

I think they are absolutely ridiculous. I have done them in the past, but I don't anymore, primarily because there's nothing interesting about reading 25 people's statuses like this. And I agree with this blogger, too, for what it's worth: what the HELL does this have to do with breast cancer?? People, if you want to find a cure for cancer, don't buy yogurt, don't buy pink shit to wear, just fuckin' write a check to the American Cancer Society!

2) Do you think people should be able to buy music and share it with everyone he or she wants or should everyone have to purchase the songs themselves?

I think the copyright law is just fine as is. I think you should pay for what you use, but then again I burn library CDs to my computer somewhat regularly. So, I dunno....

3) How often do you (or your significant other) vacuum your house?

We have a roomba we send around every week or 10 days. I need to do the steps with the regular vacuum though; they're getting sorta dire.

4) Monday was National Cheese Pizza Day. What toppings do you like on your pizza?

Cheese, sausage, Canadian bacon, onions and mushrooms.

5) The Thought Catalog has posted a list of great songs to cry to. What is a song that can easily bring you to tears?

"One" by U2. Or the Mary J. version. Either way, the lyrics kill me. And yes, I wrote this before I looked at the link, which has a few songs I've cried to, some I don't know, and a couple that I know and made me go, "Huh?"

6) Beanie babies were a big craze in the 1990s. What is a toy that you collect or used to collect?

Never intentionally collected toys. Sparky has about a billion beanies, though, and we do have dozens of Matchbox cars and Hot Wheels.

7) Buddy, a 14-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, will be the first animal inducted into the Surf Dog Hall of Fame. Do you enjoy seeing animals do crazy stunts?

Not really. I mean, it's fun to watch for awhile, but then I wonder what the point is, and why we get such a kick out of messing with animals. It's rather embarrassing.

8) September is Fall Hat Month. Do you like to wear hats? If so, what type of hats are your favorites?

I rarely wear hats, and when I do they tend to be ball caps. I have a few others, but basically never wear 'em. I like 'em, but there's not a good time to have 'em on.