From Amy

(This Amy)

What is more difficult for you, looking into someone's eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

In general I prefer to look at people when THEY are talking. I'm easily distracted by facial tics and nonverbals and I'd never finish what I need to say if I looked at the reaction while I was saying it.

Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I really haven't been ANGRY for awhile. That's amazing to say! I spent much of 2014 and 2015 in a whirl of furious defensiveness and paranoia. I think the last time I really lost my shit at all was when someone at work got all condescending at me. It's the same person who always does that when put on the spot; I should know better than to rise to the bait after 20 years. However, to my credit, instead of stomping around and being childish, I simply said, "Please don't use that tone with me." She told me to "just go home." So I did.

You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

Are you kidding? In stressful moments, I can barely get my phone logged in, much less actually use it as a phone! By the time I get my brain sorted to do this, I'd be a crispy critter already. But thanks for that great thought as I prepare for an 8-hour flight on Monday...

You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

If it's going to mean a noticeable decline over that month, I'd have to tell people: Beast, Sparky, work. If it meant dropping dead suddenly I'd probably make sure my insurance was paid up, my will and burial wishes were clear and findable, and then get on a plane to someplace lovely.

You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? - Love and Trust.

I don't think you can have either without the other. It's a little symbiotic. However, since I've actually been thinking about what trust means in my life lately, I'll take the love, as in GIVING it to others. I guess I'd rather receive trust.

You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog's life? Why or why not?

Weirdly, I just heard about something like this scenario being put to the test at a seminary, and most everyone failed. Massively. So while I say I'd stop and do something for the dog, I am realistic enough to know that I probably wouldn't. That's assuming I even noticed the situation in the first place!

Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

I'd really rather not be hurt, honestly. Having been hurt regularly and most often by someone I thought I could trust, whom I also love, I will say that the failure in trust is a difficult blow. I know he still loves me.

Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you, more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

I'd ask for a chance to think and then I'd shut up so I didn't say anything hurtful. This does mean different things depending on which friend we're talking about. Frankly, for most of my besties, it would be odd after this many years to find that out.

Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?

The last person I know who died didn't necessarily deserve an hour of extra time.... The last person that I love who died would kill me for doing something like this, so I'd be sacrificing a lot more (I hope) than a year!

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

If this question was reworded to read "Am I a good friend to myself?" I would say that generally yes and improving.

Does love = sex?

Absolutely not! Some love sometimes includes some kind of sexual component, but most love a lot of the time has zero to do with sex.

Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?

Nope. Because I like my job and the newest employee at my workplace couldn't do what I do, so that would be a ridiculous thing to do.

When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

I am not exactly shy about this. And I'm learning to be much more up front, but less confrontational, about this kind of thing. Better to get it dealt with now that wait for it to fester.

What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

I really struggled to say "I love you" when I was younger because my family doesn't haul that one out and use it very often. On the other hand, I seem to have had no problem being mean; my family is better at that...?

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

My independence.

Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

I think I texted a friend this yesterday. She had some family stuff going on, and she is just a kind person and she says it all the time too.

If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

Whatever one moment I choose, I'm virtually certain it would involve shutting up this time around.

Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

The police. Whom I would have already called.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?

Of course. Because being homeless doesn't preclude someone's right to have a life.

You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

My grandmother has been dead longer than the author has been alive. Save the baby.

Are you old fashioned?

Yes. Except in terms of gender roles. Unless that could be interpreted as Ancient Fashioned.

When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

At work. Every damned day. I expect very very little from my public service interactions, so every time someone doesn't yell at me or talk nonsense to me or otherwise act weird, I'm very grateful.

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

I'll always go for love. Why would you only get one chance at love? We have multiple chances for love every fucking day!

If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I would really love for people to CALM THE FUCK DOWN and stop taking everything so damned personally. The world does not revolve around any single one of us. Get real and get over it.