W.T.F.

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Elvis lives on and SpongeBob shows his underpants

1) Last week a contractor claimed the head coach for the Oklahoma State University football team fired him because he showed up to work wearing a rival's t-shirt (the University of Oklahoma). Are there any sports teams that you strongly oppose just because they're rivals of your favorite teams?

Not JUST because of that, but I am dreadfully tired of hearing about the arch-rival of my favorite football team every.damn.day. There clearly was something going on here besides wearing a T-shirt one day. And it makes me wonder what would happen to someone wearing a Nebraska shirt.

2) Speaking of sports, have you ever taken part in a fantasy sports league?

Nope. Way too much brain-power necessary for this for me.

3) According to a recent University of North Carolina study, there are now five fast-food restaurants for every supermarket in the U.S. How often do you eat fast-food as opposed to eating food purchased at a grocery store?

Far too often. It's actually kind of scary.

4) The Food Network kicked off its second season of its show "The Great Food Truck Race" over the weekend. Do you ever eat food from a food truck?

No food trucks around here, unless you consider buying food at the Farmer's Market "food truck" food.

5) Some places have laws against the sale of liquor on election days. How do you feel about the sale of liquor on the days when people are casting votes in elections?

I'm all for it. Some election days I need a drink to cleanse my conscience after voting.

6) Today (Aug. 17) is National Thrift Shop Day. What is something you got second-hand that turned out to be very useful to you?

Most of Sparky's childhood clothes and a lot of his favorite toys were second-hand. MUCH cheaper, an important thing at that point in life.

7) Have you ever poured salt on a slug and watched its body disintegrate as it loses its internal liquid?

No slugs in my life. Sorry. Moving on ... [...not without wondering if some of the slu..., er, patrons at my library/workplace would disintegrate with the application of salt...hmm...]

8) Target has been advertising a SpongeBob SquarePants backpack on which he was wearing only tighty-whities underwear. That seemed weird to everyone I talked to, and no one really wanted to know what type of underwear he wore. Do you ever wonder what type of underwear the people around you are wearing?

Have you ever watched SBSP?? Cuz, yeah, he wears undies. And for the most part I try NOT to think or acknowledge the existence of people's underwear, although VPL does exist here in Flyover Land.

9) Would you rather sleep for three straight days or stay awake for three days?

Neither. I don't want to miss three days of my life, and staying awake that long is just begging for weeks of hassle afterwards.

10) Yesterday was the 34th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. With all the supposed Elvis sightings over the years, do you believe he really died on August 16, 1977, or do you think his death was faked and he lived at least for a while after that day? Or maybe you think he is still alive today?

He's dead. Really. Along with Marilyn, Jimi, and Amy W.