Monday Madness

(Link at left)

1. Do you feel that children these days are disciplined enough?

Yep. 'Course, it depends on the kids in question--I think Paris and her ilk need a great deal more than they've ever gotten, or are likely to get--but by in large, I think most parents are doing all right in the big picture. Keep in mind that I live in a relatively small town, where I'm still able to say (or imply) to a lot of kids, "I know your parents; are you sure you want to pull that shit here?"

2. What are your thoughts about the "time out chair?"

My thoughts are that it's a wonderful idea, and I wish my parents had been aware of it. I still use the concept when I feel myself ranking up, and put myself in "T.O." Sparky, too; I frequently say to him that he sounds like he needs a break, maybe a T.O. is in order. We tried--not always succesfully, I'll admit--not to use it as a punishment so much as a time to cool off, to distance oneself from whatever is causing issues, a safe place.

3. When YOU were a child, what form of discipline did your parents use most often?

Mom was a big fan of yelling, and spanking when I just wasn't "getting it," usually with a hairbrush. It stopped when I was in high school and was in my face about some shit or another, and I slapped her (and she slapped me back). Fun times. Dad was a master of the guilt trip.

They had ramped down considerably from the discipline my oldest sister was subject to: once, when she was three, Dad tied her to the clothesline pole for a whole day (Mom untied her at lunchtime instead) because she walked several miles to our grandmother's house without telling anyone.

4. Did your parents have to constantly remind you of the guidelines they set for you, or did they just have to LOOK at you as a "gentle" reminder?

I pretty much knew where the line was and rarely crossed it. The times I did, I'm pretty sure I did it without knowing there was a line in the first place. There were a lot of sinkholes, unmarked until found by accident, that caused major drama in my early childhood especially.

5. What are your thoughts about screaming kids in public places?

Depends on their age. Regardless, I do think that it behooves the parents to remove the kids when they melt down, if at all possible. Sometimes--for instance, if you have three kids and the other two are in the midst of checking out books when the third goes bonkers--you just can't, and the rest of us will just have to dealwith the five minutes of screaming. By age 6 or 7, though, most kids don't act up in public very often unless there's something really wrong. Before that, I say give 'em the benefit of the doubt, because after all we don't have to go home and listen to 'em all day!!

6. What do you feel is the BIGGEST mistake parents make when it comes to disciplining children?

Consistency.

I would just like to add that, although there we all have to deal with children, people who have not walked the walk with children on a day-in/day-out basis need to back way off on this whole subject. When you have the balls to take on child-rearing, then and only then do you have to right to criticize the way those of us creating the people who will support YOU in your old age are doing it. I'm very. very. very. tired of hearing from people who don't have a FUCKINGCLUE what it's like to listen to "why Mommy? why Mommy" or bullshit teenage hormones 24/7 tell me and the rest of us parents that we are doing it wrong. Just like if you don't vote you shouldn't comment on our country's leadership, if you choose not to have children you have no right to tell me what I'm doing wrong. Walk in my shoes one week and then we'll talk.

By the way, those of my friends who don't have children, this is in no way directed at you. Part of the reason you ARE my friends is that you don't guilt-trip me on this (particular heh) issue. And I appreciate it more than you can know.