Quality of Humanity

(found here)

[started 8:50 p.m. 1/30/21]

2801. The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. But what was the question? That one you can't put into words but that keeps you from being 100% content.

2802. Suggest three new diary circles that you would find interesting: I have no idea what this question means.

2803. Buttons or Knobs? I'm old-skool: I like knobs. [trying to keep completely deadpan]

2804. What is a juggalo? These days, apparently, it's equivalent to an incel. I'm not at all interested in the anthropology of the situation.

2805. Are you a fan of Crass? Probably not, as I don't know what/who that is. Was?

2806. If you were going to write a short note to yourself and then put it away and read it in ten years, what would it say? I do this periodically. I almost always find myself really puerile when I find it later. I never expect what the future has in store, except that it's not going to be great.

2807. When someone does something that is wrong do you believe that they know in their hearts that they are wrong but they push it down into their subconscious and rationalize away their guilt? When have you done this (if you say never then you are doing it right now)? In my case, yes. I think anyone with a conscience does this, or rethinks decisions and knows the 'rightness' of them afterwards. If you don't do this, I would suggest therapy and anticipate a diagnosis of narcissism and/or sociopathy.

2808. How can a person have sex with someone they don't love? Have YOU ever? I have not, but I can see how it can happen. Ever heard of rape? Coercive control?

2809. What are the paradoxes in your head (that is when you believe two conflicting things to be true)? That I'm a decent person/That I suck donkey balls is probably the biggest one.

2810. What does each set of two words suggest to you? 

 pale gravity: sounds vaguely light a SF book title

 little mornings: this makes me feel like vacation for some reason

 spiritual machines: aren't these Republicans? (mostly kidding)

 eccentric being: Most humans

 pray attention: Sounds like something a megachurch would make into a thing that means Something

 yellow lectures: hot, sweaty, humid, boring college classes

2811. What movie would be AWESOME in 3D? I can't think of anything that's not seriously obvious.

2812. Why is it important to write and think clearly? So you can make decisions on your own without having some cult leader telling you what to do every minute of the day. It's the payoff for freedom.

2813. A girl and her boyfriend are hanging out. It is obvious they are together. Another guy schmoozes between them and starts hitting on the girl. The boyfriend tells this guy to back off. The guy just keeps bothering the girl. Do you think the boyfriend would be justified in hitting this intrusive guy? This is literally the worst time for me to be answering this as I'm dealing with a mental husband who won't stop hitting people in his nursing home. It's not ok to hit people. Period.
A girl and her boyfriend are hanging out. It is obvious they are together. Another GIRL (lesbian) schmoozes between them and starts hitting on the first girl. The boyfriend tells this girl to back off. The girl just keeps bothering the first girl. Do you think the boyfriend would be justified in hitting this intrusive girl? If you answered yes to one situation and no to the other one why the double standard? Still not ok to hit anyone. Period.
Especially, little old crazed ladies in nursing homes.

2814. What do you think of the name Prue? Not a fan at all.

2815. What would you spend your last dollar on? Food, and probably (to be noble) food for someone else.

2816. Have you ever won an ebay auction? If yes for what? Nope. Never played on eBay; seems like I could hurt myself badly there.

2817. Would you like it if Blockbuster had a drive-through?? Show me a Blockbuster that is still functional and we'll discuss the drive-thru option, k?

2819. When was the last time you taught someone something and what was it? I'm currently training another staff member. I have literally trained my entire department at work in the last 5 months. Also, I explain how to do computer things for tech-illiterate people almost every day, because that's my job.

2820. Why do adults and teens not understand each other? Because teens don't understand that adults have been there/done that, and adults don't want to admit they were ever that stupid.

2821. Are you afraid? I mean...yes? But it seems like the right thing to be. I try to keep the anxiety under control, because there's literally not one thing I can do about any of the things I'm afraid of.

2822. Do you trust large drug corporations? Do you trust the Food and Drug Administration? I do NOT trust pharmaceutical companies at all! I don't trust companies trying to Make More Money on much of anything. FDA, I trust more today than I did last month for sure.

2823. If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? Do you define sound as sound waves or as the reaction between the soundwaves and your ears? Ooo, this is far too scientific for me at one big Moscow Mule into my evening. Yes, things make sounds whether we're there or not. We do not control the universe, strikingly amazing as that seems.

 2824. Who is full of shit? Who is NOT? 

 2825. Four of the five senses are routed through a special area to the brain. One sense goes right to the brain and so is a powerful sense involved with memory and emotion. Which sense do you feel this is? Smell? I don't know. That's the one that sends me into hyperspace most easily.

 2826. Are you on a ship of fools or a carousel? I'm on a carousel with a bunch of fools. It's ok.

 2827. What is your bathing suit like? This presumes I have one. ... Oddly, I was actually thinking about the last suit I bought earlier today and wondering if it still fits. It's green, one-piece.

 2828. Whose line is it, anyway? It's always Colin M.'s line.

 2829. Are you more likely to answer a signed in note or a nsi note? I don't know what this is, but I suspect it depends more on what is said than who said it.

 2830. To be or not to be. That is the question. What is the answer? Most of the time, most of us answer it "to be." If you're leaning toward "not to be" please call the suicide hotline: 800-273-8255.

 2831. Does beauty exist as a definable standard or is beauty in the eyes of the beholder? Why do you think it is that so many people have the same idea of who and what is beautiful? Where do your standards for judging beauty come from? Oh boy, I could probably write a novel about this. I think beauty is culturally decided and not innate.

 2832. Would a war with Iraq help or harm American economy? War is good for the economy. It's pretty bad for humans, though.

 2833. What is the first thing you would do if you saw a nuclear explosion in the distance? Eat everything I'm not allowed to anymore. I mean, I'm dead. Might as well die happily gorged.

 2834. Would you like to be cryogenically frozen? Nah.

2835. Think of the person you love the most. Would you be willing to murder a stranger in order to save that person's life? Why or why not? Yup.

 2836. Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can? I can. Thanks, John.

 2837. How messed up is: 

 your hair? It's pretty bad.

 your room? The cleaning lady was here yesterday, so it's still ok.

 your car? A disaster, but better than many I've seen.

 your life? On the outside, it looks like Suicide City. Inside, it's not that bad.

 2838. What are you running out of? Money.

 2839. What do you live for? Work, which leads to a paycheck that helps pay for Beast's room & board.

 2840. How did you decide it was worth living for? What are my options.

 2841. Do you consider some people to be too: traditional? conformist? avant-garde? smart? stuck up? modern? beautiful? ugly? obsessed? emotional? petty? sneaky? fat? thin? Yes, though the last two don't really bother me that much, nor their relative beauty. Most people are a delightful mixture of all of the above in varying levels.

 2842. By what criteria do you judge others? How kind they are.

 2843. Do you look at people's words and actions or the underlying reasons for those words and actions? I have to; otherwise, I'd've smacked some people into next year over my life.

 2844. Which would you rather collect: Simpsons action figures? KISS gear? anything with a smiley? horror movies? None of these. Dust works.

 2845. Do you fight for your rights? Only for my right to partay. I fight for other people's rights, though.

 2846. Would you rather be a construction worker or a crossing guard? Crossing guard.

 2847. What is enough to satisfy you in life? A roof over my head and food and interesting things in life. And indoor plumbing.

 2848. Do you think you have more, less, or average life experience for your age? I don't think I can judge that. In some areas I'm pretty broken-in, in other areas I'm totally clueless.

 2849. Why go to college? Have you considered joining a cult instead? I have a Master's degree and I would never join a cult, even at my most gullible and naive. There were a lot of cults in my immediate zeitgeist as a child, so I knew how to ask questions in the most annoying way.

 2850. What's the last lie you told? That I'm fine.

 2851. What celebrity has the sexiest voice of females? males? Kathleen Turner has the best speaking voice of all time. Period.

 2852. You are having a party and can invite three celebrities of your choice. The WILL come. Who do you invite? Lin-Manuel Miranda, Donald Glover, Megan Thee Stallion.

 2853. Where did you come from? Where are you now? Where are you going? I came from my parents, I am here now, and I'm going to bed shortly.

 2854. What would you imagine the Playboy Mansion is like? I've been to a former Playboy Club and it's  just basically a hotel. NBD. I expect the same of the Mansion, but with a lot of weird decor.

 2855. Do you blow your nose loudly in public? Only when I need to.

 2856. Do you help others every day? Yes.

 2857. Bono or Chris Tucker? WTF? Who is Chris Tucker? So I guess Bono. I'd kind of like to meet him.

 2858. Is it lonely being alone in your head? I'd rather be lonely in my head than have any company whatsoever!

 2859. What is the worst poverty you have ever seen? Donald Trump's soul.

 2860. Has anyone ever told you that more than 2 billion people live on less than two dollars a day? What do you think of that? I think economics of scale are fascinating and worth understanding in this situation.

 2861. Add a sentence to the story: Once upon a time there was a man named Arthur and he was brushing his teeth when all of a sudden he saw a bright rainbow outside. So he goes out the back door to take a look and he finds an elf who says that he has froth around his mouth and needs to get away from him (the elf) and runs away.

 2862. Be honest.. do you generally listen or wait for your turn to talk? Yeah, this is a problem sometimes. I'm trying, actively, to work on this and become a better listener.

 2863. How many fingers do you type with? Nine. My left thumb doesn't do a lot.

 2864. What does 'you think you know but you have no idea' mean? Where did it come from as a common phrase?  It's a common phrase? It means what it says: you don't know what you think you know about this situation.

 2865. Do you think it's important to give up liberties in order to protect freedom? It does NOT work like that, no.

 2866. Do you think George Bush was elected in a legal way? No, but jeez this survey is old!!

 2867. Imagine you were dying of a disease...you only had a certain amount of time left with your mate, parents or children. What would you leave behind for them to remember you by?  How would you feel if there were drugs to help you live, only you couldn't afford them? How would you feel if people were trying to sell you the drugs at a lower cost but the drug companies made sure they couldn't because that would cut their profits? This scenario is going on Right Now. The country is Africa. The disease is AIDS. The drug is AZP (and others). The people are Africans who are very poor and have AIDS. The large drug corporations won't sell the drugs at a price they can afford or allow smaller companies to either. Is this acceptable? What are you going to do about it?   This is unacceptable, and I think it needs to stop and I've helped fund organizations that do good work. 

2868. Would you ever BUY a new ring for your cell phone that plays a couple of notes of your favorite song? Buy it, no.

 2869. What has completely moved you? Mayflower.

 2870. If for your next birthday you had a novelty kids birthday party what games would you play at it? Uhm, my next birthday is number 58. I think I'm past game-playing on birthdays, unless someone's up for a Cards Against Humanity round.

 2871. How can you keep open toed sandals from rubbing against your toes and making them blistered and raw? If you don't the answer to this by this point, I can't help you.

 2872. What happens to socks when they disappear in the drier? If I knew this, I'd have a lot less rags in the bin.

[faded out at 9:27 p.m.]

[restarted 6:54 p.m. 1/31]

 2873. What is the quality of humanity all about? Starting the questions with a big one. I think, in some ways, it's a big lie we tell ourselves, but also at best "humanity" is the ability remember that other people are people and should be judged as such, not as Something Other.

 2874. True or false - All homophobes are inherently evil: False, but if they are presented with facts and refuse to rethink their point of view, they aren't doing themselves any favors.

 2875. Is there anything, besides love, that money can't buy? A good reputation.

 2876. How is your soul? It is well.

 2877. What are you committed to? Getting through each day.

 2879. Are you photogenic? I am very much not.

 2880. Can you define these words off the top of your head as if you were talking to someone who didn't know what they were?

 rain: water falling from the sky

 cold: lower than comfortable temperatures in the area your body is

 green: I don't think I can do this without pointing to something

 sand: Tiny pulverized rocks, small like salt.

 2881. Why aren't you naked (or are you)? It's fookin' cold outside and being naked would be foolish.

 2882. Do you think anyone is all good or all evil? Nope. I think we're all on a continuum.

 2883. Go outside a sec. How many animals are in your yard? Did you count yourself? why or why not? Nobody's outside right now including me. Even the neighborhood dogs are all inside.

 2884. What household appliance drags you down? Hmm, I don't ever use the toaster-oven, which is sitting on the counter. I should probably put it away.

 2885. try this..write a list of six possibilities of things you could do after you are off the computer. Make sure that at lease ONE thing is something you would be unlikely to ever do. 

 1. Run screaming down the street in bare feet.

 2. Take a bath.

 3. Make something hot to eat.

 4. Read a book.

 5. Sort laundry for tomorrow.

 6. Start packing for my trip to Sparky's to be his post-surgical caregiver.

 Now grab a dice (if you have none ask someone to pick a number between 1 and 6) and decide what you will do by flipping it. Then do it! I live alone and don't have a die handy. So I'll probably just go with the plan that I'll take a bath, do some desultory planning about what I need to pack, and maybe sort laundry and get it ready to take downstairs in the morning.

 2886. Which of the following doesn't belong with the others and why? 

 a. garden 

 b. love 

 c. magazine 

 d. death I would be willing to bet a decent amount of money that there are no magazines about this topic, only, and I know there are magazines that are basically all about gardens and variations of love.

 2887. How old are you? What age do you feel mentally? emotionally? spiritually? I am 57. I feel about that age, sometimes considerably older.

 2888. Who do you think is more wise: your mailman or a person who has been living on the streets for 12 years? Depends on what kind of wisdom I'm searching for. The person on the streets has the kind of information I will (hopefully) never have.

 2889. Do you kiss on the first date? Depends on the guy. I haven't dated for over 35 years, so who knows.

 2890. Would you ever want to be on: 

 a dating show (which)?  Yeah, no. I canNOT dance in any coordinated way.

 a game show (which)? Oh, I could handle Wheel of Fortune. In my sleep.

 the news (why)? My strongest desire is never to be on the news.

 2891. How much money would it take to get you to: 

 strip to nothing but a bright orange thong (for guys, orange thongs and string bikini top for girls) and wrestle another person of the same sex in a thong in a pool of Jello? 2 billion, minimum

 participate in a contest where you drink alcohol as fast as you can until you puke? ditto

 sit absolutely still for 2 hours, in nothing but a towel, covered in plaster of Paris? I'd do this for minimal payment, it kind of sounds lovely providing the room is warm

 walk around at your school in bondage gear asking people to spank you on the ass with a huge dead octopus tentacle? I don't go to school anymore, but if I did it would be back in the 2 billion range

 pick your nose and eat it? Why would I ever want to do this? Back to 2 billion

 smash potatoes with your head? Nope, sorry: 2 billion

 2892. Who deserves an apology? The American people who believed anything DJT ever has said.

 2893. What wins the award as stupidest lyric you can think of? SmashMouth lyrics are not exactly Mensa-worthy. I still like them.

 2894. Where do you most like to be massaged? My back needs endless attention. I could probably get two massages a day just on my back and still be sore.

 2895. Is your face clear? Mostly.

 2896. Finish this phrase in a humorous way.. Friends don't let friends... suffer alone. Sorry, not funny, but true nevertheless.

 2897. What present would you bring to the birthday party of an acquaintance? Depends entirely on the person.

 2898. Is your game on? Only when I'm out in public, or on the phone with GrownUps, or otherwise faking my way through adulthood. Right now, I'm listening to conspiracy theory podcasts and drinking vodka. Game decidedly NOT on.

 2899. What would a song for the deaf be like? How about a painting for the blind? Feh. Deaf people 'get' music, blind people understand art. 

 2900. What is a sure-fire way to get noticed? Act like a moron, but do it confidently and L O U D L Y.

[finished at 7:15 p.m.]