Insanity Part Four

(Found here)

301. List 5 things you have not experienced that you would like to experience before you die.
A Meeting and getting to know any grandchildren Sparky might produce someday.
B Taking a world cruise.
C Seeing the Valley of the Kings.
D RV trip around the U.S. (and Canada).
E Still wouldn't mind trying parachuting....

302. Will you try to accomplish any of these things within the next year?
We had a minor false alarm on one of them already this month, but otherwise, it's unlikely.

303. What do you feel controlled by?
Fear of the unknown.

304. If Jesus appeared to you and told you that the moon was made of green cheese would you believe him?
I very much doubt that this is what Jesus will be discussing with me. And no.

305. What is one thing you are sure of?
I know I'm not the center of anyone's universe except my own.

306. At what part of the day do you feel the most alert?
About 9-12 a.m.

307. Have you ever played in a band?
Does marching (and concert) band in school count? Otherwise, no.

308. Have you ever stared into the ocean thinking 'early creatures crawled outta that'?
Uhm, no.

309. If not, what do you think of when you are staring into the ocean?
I don't really think I'm framing thoughts, more just taking it in and wondering how warm the water is and thinking about how much of the planet is covered in water.

310. Do you like the mental challenge of chess or other games?
I would play chess, but I'm not very good and I'm notorious for being a bad loser. I do like silly games though, like Apples to Apples.

311. Do you ever think of where your atoms were before they were in you?
Absolutely never.

312. Do you ever think about where your atoms will go after they have been in you?
Well, not until just now....

313. If you didn't know that people couldn't fly do you think that you could?
I believe in the law of gravity, and my parents who told me when I was quite young that if I jumped off things I would get hurt.

314. Are you someone that others call when they're having a problem and want to talk about it?
On occasion. Not all the time, because boundaries.

315. When it comes to literature, do you see beyond the writing and into the meaning intended by the author?
I hope so. No, seriously, I should definitely hope so!

316. Is there anything you can take apart completely, and then put back together, and have no left over parts?
Most things that I take apart go back together with all their parts, or I don't even start on them.

317. What are your feelings about the death penalty?
I think it's foolhardy to try to decide who lives and who dies. On the other hand, there are some horrible people out there in the world for whom I'm not sure I can justify continued existence. I don't know, but I'm against killing people.

318. If there was a god and you could ask him/her one question what would it be?
There IS a God and I ask questions ALL the damn time. Usually around the general theme of What the Actual Fuck are You DOING?!

319. Do you believe that life will be found on other planets?
Sure. Though perhaps it won't be found by humans.

320. What is something worth suffering for?
The future.

321. If you could put an extra eye on your body anywhere you wanted, where would you put it?
Seems sensible to keep it on the face, or I suppose a hand would be ok. Somewhere that is generally accepted as being uncovered at least.

322. Are you in touch with the earth and nature?
We've been known to talk once in awhile.

323. Would you rather live simply or extravagantly?
Simply.

324. Have you ever been camping?
Yes. I'm not a fan. I like my creature comforts: indoor plumbing, electricity, that sort of thing.

325. Is your heart open when you meet someone new?
Depends on where we met. At work? Not really. At a bar. Not likely. At church, perhaps. Introduced by a trusted friend? Maybe.

326. Are you able to have conversations with and become friends with people who are not like you and are interested in different things than you are?
Of course. I even have one friend who is, for her sins, a Trump supporter.

327. Are strangers more beautiful or frightening to you?
Yes. They are endlessly fascinating, and also annoying and weird.

328. What stops you from doing everything you want to do?
Fear. Time. Energy. Laziness. Pick at least one.

329. Can you think of three adjectives that do not apply to you at all?
Male, short, teenaged.

330. How do you feel about Jeremy Jaynes, who got a nine year prison sentence for spamming people with junk email?
I know nothing about it, but junk email is certainly pretty damned annoying.

331. Do you know who the current premier of China is? 
Uh, actually...no. #currenteventsfail

332. Are you very active?
Nope. I'm not "very active"; I'm not even "active."

333. Is there a city that reminds you of the landscape of your brain?
Hmm, THIS is an interesting question. I'm not sure. Maybe Denver? Or Durham, England? Zurich?

334. Have you ever loved someone who has loved you back?
Yes. If this hasn't ever happened to someone--that someone has never been loved by someone they love--that is very sad. I mean, at least parents...

335. Is it really being 'in love with' someone if the other person doesn't love you?
Well, yes, you can love someone who doesn't give a rat's ass for you. See above re parenthood. I mean, eventually, one hopes one's kids love you, but they couldn't possibly care less when they're babies.

336. Do you believe that there is someone perfect for everyone or that people just fall in love with who ever they are with at the time?
I don't believe in 'soul mates' but I do believe that some people are somehow meant to be together. But then again, staying together takes a shit-ton of work from both people; it's not magic and fairies and sparkles all the time, not at all!

337. Do you know secret things?
I do.

338. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have?
More than once. Although in the past 30 years it's been more of the "strongly attracted to" someone else.

339. How do you overcome your fears?
I try to find a way to DO them. So this whole weird fear I had as a young person of filling my car up with gas...I just had to start doing it and it became ridiculous and I don't even think about it anymore.

340. What can you do better than anyone you know?
Obsess over bullshit.

341. Would you benefit from a wilder existence?
"Benefit"? No.

342. Does it seem to you like the range of socially acceptable behavior is getting smaller or larger?
I think it's really stayed about the same, but it's definitely different.

343. Have you ever fired a gun?
Nope.

344. Are people becoming more afraid of each other?
Nope. People are tribal, and I think the range is, again, about the same as it always has been.

345. If you had to choose the percentage of freedom vs. safety what ratio would you decide on (ex: 100% free 0% safe)?
80% free.

346. Does safety stifle you?
I don't like being treated like I'm a child. And my safety isn't up to other people.

347. Who or what needs to be stopped?
Trump. And then we as a society need to figure out how we created him and stop doing that.

348. Are human beings becoming more domesticated?
Oh, for sure.

349. Do you follow the lives of the British Royal Family?
Desultorily. I mean, I work with someone who brought in cakes for the Queen's birthday last month (last month?) for all of us to eat. So I know a lot of stuff that I don't really need to know. But the babies are cute.

350. How did the death of Pope John Paul II affect you?
It didn't, really. I had a great deal of respect for him, but as I'm not Catholic and disagree rather vehemently with some of the Church's teachings, it didn't really do much for me. The next dude? Not a favorite of mine. THIS CURRENT Pope, though--Francis--I'm pretty sure I love.

351. Have you ever lost something and never found it?
My class ring from high school disappeared about 31 years ago, never to be seen again. :'(

352. Do you listen to any talk radio shows?
Not as such. Once in awhile I turn on NPR, but I've never gotten into talk radio.

353. Who do you trust more, your friends or your parents?
At this point? Since I no longer have a direct line to Mom & Dad, I guess I trust my friends most. Certainly more than my extended family. And it sort of depends on what the topic is anyway.

354. Would you ever date someone outside of your race or religion?
I keep telling you: Beast frowns on me dating anyone. :)
I would date someone I liked regardless of race or religion or a lot of other stupid reasons to eliminate people from your life.

355. Which of the 7 deadly sins is the worst (gluttony, greed, pride, lust, envy, wrath, sloth)?
Well, they're ALL "deadly" so I think I'll pass on trying to pick the "most deadly."

356. Which one are you most guilty of?
I'd call it a straight tie between gluttony and sloth.

357. Are you afraid to be alone with yourself? Do you try to avoid thinking?
I absolutely adore being alone!! I crave that time by myself, when I can think, read, write  talk to myself, do what I want to do on my own schedule.

358. Would you venture to tell someone you loved him or her if they didn't say it first?
Yep. Life's to short to keep score.

359. What are you the most sensitive about?
I don't like being told I'm wrong. And I reallyREALLLY hate being patronized. Like, big-time fireworks if that starts. I work with someone whom I consider a good friend, but she can be really condescending and it sets me off like THAT.

360. What can you talk about for hours?
Myself. Obviously.
And kids.
Books.
How weird people are....

361. Do you talk about yourself, other people, or ideas the most?
Overall, I'd say I speak mostly about people. I've spent the last 8 months or so working on trying to eliminate myself from conversation at work. I have notes all over my cubicle telling me to STFU in multiple languages (which no one there speaks). Because apparently I'm a raging fucking nightmare, according to my mid-year review from my boss.
Now I just smile and put on my "showtime" face every time I walk in the door for work.

362. Do you believe that spell casting can work?
Nope.

363. Are you a fan of The Legend of Zelda games?
Not so much, no.

364. What old movie would you go see if it were re-released in the movie theaters?
Shoah.

365. Is there a celebrity that you would be too starstruck to talk to if you met them?
All of them. I'm seriously terminally shy and would immediately worry I was being an annoying weirdo.

366. Have you ever left a mean unsigned note?
Hah! Yes, I'm sure I have. Beast got one on his windshield this morning at Walgreen's--"LEARN HOW TO PARK"--because he was all wonky in the space. We both laughed.

367. Do you think it's cheesy to paste things you didn't write into your diary?
Dude, it's your diary--do it any way you want to. Pictures, clippings, pressed flowers, hair.... There's no wrong way to journal.

368. What are three things that you try not to think about?
1. Death/serious injury of those I love. Beast travels a lot so I have worked hard to distract myself from this. Now that Sparky is living on his own, I have to use the same tools to keep my mind off this for him too.
2. Nuclear war and/or terrorism.
3. What I'm making for dinner.

369. Is casual sex acceptable for you?
See #354. Once you get married, a lot of sex is casual.

370. What form of sexual protection do you use?
Hon, I'm a monogamous long-time-married, middle-aged woman who had a full hysterectomy 19 years ago. Protection isn't an issue.

371. What is expected of you that you feel is unnatural or not right?
I find it difficult to control my mouth at work. It's gotten a bit easier, but I feel completely fake.

372. Do you sometimes place your own expectations on other people?
Of course. I'd be a hypocrite to deny this.

373. Do you sometimes act overeager to make friends when you are around strangers?
"Overeager"? No. I live in the midwestern U.S. We are quite friendly, and I am nowhere near the friendliest person in the area.

374. Do you take everything that is said literally?
Generally no. Less and less so, in fact. I wait to see the action follow the words.

375. Do you take most things others say seriously?
I try to use good judgment in whether someone means what they say. I mean, how often do you hear people say "I oughta kill him..." and let it pass?

376. Do you have a quick wit?
At this point in the day, no. Most of the rest of the time, yes.

377. Do you believe in the need for political correctness?
I believe we need to learn to be kinder to others. If that means changing the way we use language to make words less hurtful, I don't really see how this is wrong.

378. Do you have strong opinions and beliefs?
Ya think?

379. If yes, can you still hang out with and be friends with people who disagree with you?
It depends on how much I personally have at stake in what the disagreement is about. If I really have serious questions and the other person isn't straight-up argumentative and obnoxious, I can talk about stuff. If I sense upset feelings starting up, I really don't want to talk about whatever it is.

380. Are you uptight?
I'm a midwestern, middle-aged, middle-class woman. I'm sure I seem clenched to some people. And to others I'm pretty sure I seem like I'm flighty as a freakin' hummingbird.

381. Do you sometimes do risky things?
Every day.

382. Could just about anyone hold your interest in a conversation for at least ten minutes?
Just about, yup.

383. Are you self-conscious?
Terminally.

384. What would be your ideal destination for a Saturday afternoon?
The sofa or a chair on the lawn if it's nice out.

385. Does anyone have a video tape of you doing something embarrassing?
No, but somewhere there is some 8mm film of me hula-hooping at age 8 that's pretty incriminating.

386. What is Kevin Smith’s best movie?
Oh, goodie: subjective opinions about someone I have no opinions on at all!!

387. Where do you like to go on Friday or Saturday nights?
To bed. Perhaps to the bathtub and then bed. I'm telling you: I'm a big ton of fun, aren't I?

388. Do you like your friends to act the same way all the time or do you accept their moods and changes?
I don't think I'd be a great friend to someone who is unmedicated and bipolar, but I do understand that people have moods. As long as I don't have to be the one at fault when they're crabby, I'm fine with it.

389. Do you often feel like other people are judging you?
I used to. I am fairly certain that most people don't even notice me these days, and if they are they dismiss me fairly quickly from their consciousness. Judging? Don't give a tiny shit.

390. What do you think other people judge you to be like?
Boring, overweight, doesn't care about her appearance, bossy, smart.... I'd own most of those, too.

391. Are you quick to judge others?
I have a pretty good instinct about people, yes, though I know for a fact that I'm way too naive and forgiving.

392. When you have a fight with someone do you want to talk about it right away or calm down first and then talk?
This has been a contentious topic in my marriage. I'm a "go to my corner and sulk till I feel better" person, and Beast is a "talk it out now" person. I'm starting to finally push back and say words to the effect of "I can't talk about this now--give me 10 minutes." It's a hard habit to (re-)learn.

393. Some say love is a river (according to the old song). What do you say love is?
HARD FUCKING WORK! And worth the payoff.

394. What is the worst fault a person can have?
Depends on the person. Honestly, probably the worst fault someone can have is trying to be someone they can't be.

395. Do you have it?
I'm a little too hard on myself sometimes, yes.

396. Which do you think has more impact on a person’s character, genetics or environment?
Environment has the edge.

397. Who was your first best friend?
L@urA DeV0re. At least that's the first one whose full name I knew. There were kids in the neighborhood, but I knew them by "Chris" and "Penny" and "Tony" and so forth. I determined at about age 5 that Chris and I were going to set up housekeeping together (i.e. get married) and I would create a lovely little (literal) nest in one of the bushes in his front yard.
Then they moved.

398. If you are not best friends anymore, what came between you?
I think L@ur@ moved when we were in 1st grade, maybe even still in Kindergarten. I have no idea what happened to her.

399. Who have you read a biography about?
Uhm. A lot of people. The most recent one was last month when I read Chris Kyle's American Sniper--which I didn't love. The most recent one that I liked was about Kim Philby: A Spy Among Friends  by Ben Macintyre. Fascinating. Philby was quite a strange man.

400. What would your own autobiography be called?
I have no idea. No, that's not the title.