Year-End

(Found here)

What did you do last year that you'd never done before?

Drove an RV. In the middle of a strange (i.e. unknown to me) city. Into a really bad part of town. Also at night, on strange (i.e. unknown to me) roads under construction. I also did all the hookups two nights running, and then drove it home, cleaned it, and drove it back to the rental place.

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for this year?

I don't really do resolutions.

Did you (or anyone close to you) give birth?

Yes, two of my nieces had babies this year: J, Miri, and I.

Did anyone close to you die?

No one in the family, unless you count Ruka the guinea pig. Some friends' family members passed away, though, and that was bad enough.

Did you (or anyone close to you) experience a major life-changing event?

Sparky graduated from college, finished all his classes, moved out, got fired, found another job in record time, and decided to take some classes to move his minor (Psychology) to a second major this year.

What would you like to have this year that you lacked last year?

Will-power in the food area.

What date from last year will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

October 14-16 was, ahem, memorable. However, in terms of good memories, January 1: attending the Rose Parade and the Rose Bowl game was a blast.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Not murdering anyone, including myself. I spent a great deal of time last year Very Angry about stuff that I have no control over. I don't like lack of control at all, hence the anger. I am determined to get better at this in 2016.

What was your biggest failure?

Staying out of trouble at work. I swear to God, everything I do seems to lead to the same conversation in the director's office. I feel like all he sees when he deals with me is a giant nutjob.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had surgery in February on my parathyroid gland, and probably had some colds and various things like that, but otherwise my woes were pretty minor. I did switch depression meds in November to a stronger pill. My therapist says it has completely changed my affect, but I don't know if I'm buying it. I'm, maybe, not crying as much at the drop of a hat.

What was the best thing you bought?

I hit the grocery store this morning for some basic fil-in stuff: pop, cheese, etc.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Beast's, post-February. He has stopped drinking, and he's weaning himself off the pain pills he's been taking like candy since October. Now if he could just get his stamina back. But he's been amazing this year, although he constantly says he feels like a baby and a 'drag' on the family and so forth. He's not.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Every Single Republican Running for President. And a LOT of police officers, especially the one who got a hero's funeral nearby who we found out months later had actually set up an elaborate suicide.

Where did most of your money go?

Where it always goes. No big changes in this area: mostly the mortgage, a lot to Sparky's education, a lot to food, utilities, maintenance and repair. Not much to clothes for me, but Beast had to buy new stuff--he's lost over 125 lbs. in the past year!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

BABIEEEEES! And general stupidity. One is positive excitement, one is decidedly less positive.

What song will always remind you of last year?

"Uptown Funk"

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Tentatively more optimistic. I don't think in terms of happiness; for me it's more a matter of contentment.

...thinner or fatter?

Fatter. No thought required.

...richer or poorer?

Same.

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Always wish I'd done more walking away from arguments, and more laughing.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying. OMG, the time and energy I've spent being anxious in the past year...!

What was your favorite book?

The best book I read was Between the World and Me by Ta-Nahisi Coates. If you have kids, if you read history, if you are paying attention to U.S. culture right now, you really need to read this book. Bonus: it's very short!

What was your favorite movie (or TV program)?

I sort of fell in love with NCIS: New Orleans, mostly in spite of Brody.

What was your greatest discovery?

MARC Edit, though I haven't really used it much yet. I need to, for work, so I can get the damn ebook records sorted out....blah blah blah.

Did anyone come to visit you?

Hmmm, no one from too far away: Marie and Jan, Katherine and Alan (and the kids) and part of Alan's family, Dean and James, Sparky....I think that's it. Yes, Sparky officially visits now. It's a bit sad.

Did you travel anywhere?

We came home from California at the beginning of the year. Then nothing that I recall until October when I got another 4-day vacation. It was a tremendously sucktastic year for travel for me.

Did you do anything really special and memorable?

The Parade/Game trip was outstanding. Being present for the birth of a baby was amazing. Screaming swear words at my boss was also memorable. Getting outed by crazy, library-hating conspiracy jerks was pretty terrifying.

Do you love (really like) anyone or anything now that you didn't love this time last year?

I'm developing a bit of an attachment to Sparky's current girlfriend: fandom geek (Trek, SW, Narnia, HP, etc.) and the fact that for multiple reasons she's very grounded in the realities of life.

Do you hate (strongly dislike) anyone or anything now that you didn't hate this time last year?

I can't think of anyone I hate. There are some people at work I'm fully sick-to-death of dealing with in certain areas. I suppose I could put Trump in the "hate" category. He really is either an awful human being or a great stealth Democratic mole.

What did you want and get?

Beast's spine repair counts here. Sparky's graduation, too. For myself... I guess sticking with Al-Anon through a second year. It's good for me. I feel like shit when I don't go, so I know it's helping.

What did you want and not get?-

Total peace-of-mind.

What did you do on your birthday?

Not a damn thing.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Spending a solid 40-hour week tidying up all the Cuh-Rap in the house and getting rid of most of it!!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept for last year?

Stretchy waist pants are my new best friends. At home. I haven't found any "business casual" stretchy slacks. ;-)

What kept you sane?

Drugs, therapy, Bible Study, and Al-Anon.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I really like Barack Obama an awful lot. Not in a particularly teenage-crush way, but I think he's been a fine example of grace under (extreme) pressure this year.

What political issue stirred you the most?

The Black Lives Matter in the second half of the year, the legalization of gay marriages in the first half.

Who (or what) did you miss?

For some reason, I've been missing my mom a whole lot this last couple of weeks.

Who was the best new person you met?

There is a woman at church that's been around forever, but with whom I've only this year gotten to know. She is truly delightful. Why did it take me 20 years to find her!?

[Questions added by Steve Brubaker on 1/12/2004 ] [I have no idea who he is]

Did you enjoy any good sunsets?

I did. Not nearly enough, but there were some amazing ones I did see.

Who did you meet and what did you like about them?

Along with the woman I mentioned above, I've started getting to know one of my coworkers better. This woman is very self-contained, but fun, and I think she's going to be coming into Tech Services in a big way this month, so I'm glad I have more of a handle on her. Some people at my meetings have been really good to me this year too.

What did you experience for the first time?

Actual hysteria. I can honestly say that for about 5 minutes last winter I completely lost my grip and had to be removed from a room by the authorities.

How do you know you are older?

My knees, hips, back, and insteps hurt a lot of the time. And I'm tired all the time.

How do you know you are wiser?

I've gotten to the point that I've been able to walk away from arguments, and don't always feel the need to be 'right' about every damn thing.

What are your regrets about last year?

I wish. On the micro-scale, I would have like to see some mountains this year.

Where did you go that you have never been before?

Downtown St. Louis and the Gateway Arch. Oh, and the Rose Bowl.

Did you have any meetings that you find memorable?

Nope. Meetings are, by definition, pretty much sleepfests anymore. I try to stay out of the limelight and deflect as much as I can to others.

Did you walk in the park, or at the beach, or in the woods, or by a mountain stream?

The park, I think. I need to get out and walk more, though. That would help my back (and my weight).

What would you do again?

Surgery (mine and Beast's). The summer months with Sparky. The fun parts of the trips I was able to take. Renting an RV!! I actually can't wait to do the RV thing again.

What would you do over?

We are, by GOD, finishing that October trip!! Maybe in March?

Why is your life better?

I'm not sure it's better. It's not worse. I guess it's better because my attitude about boundaries is better.

Why is it not?

My body is not in good shape. It's probably the worst shape it's ever been in, in fact.

What unique opportunities did you miss?

I'm sure there were many. I try not to dwell on what I missed. That way lies madness.

If you met yourself for the first time this year would you strike up a friendship? Where would you have met?

We would, undoubtedly, meet at a library or a bookstore (or, I suppose, church), and yeah, I'd probably be friendly to myself.

What flowers did you smell for the first time? What food tasted? What music danced to?

Watching the Rose Parade floats being made was amazing. Lots of parts of flowers and trees and plants, many of which I'd either never heard of, or never seen. I had outstanding Indian food on that trip too, which I've had before, but this was eminently NOT tandoori take-out! I mostly chair dance at work these days....

What will make this year different from last year?

Well, hopefully, we'll get an actual vacation! And Beast won't be in pain (I hope). My nephew in England is getting married. No babies on the horizon as yet, but of course there's still plenty of time for that. ;-)

Did you spend any time listening to yourself? What did you say?

I did try to listen to myself more conscientiously, and specifically I tried to say kinder things about myself than I usually have done. Not always successful, but one has to start somewhere.

If you put this year in a food grinder and made sausages out of it, what would they taste like?

...possibly one of the weirdest questions on this blog...
I think they'd be a nasty combination of salt and sweet. This is not a flavor that sounds good to me.

In what respects was last year a pivotal year?

This year was the first time I actually realized that I'm definitely over halfway through my life, and have been for awhile. There's only a few decades left. What am I doing with them?

If time and events flow like a river, what was your relationship with that river this year?A. drifting downstream with Huck Finn on a log
B. swimming upstream like a salmon to spawn
C. shooting the class IV rapids
D. up the creek without a paddle
E. the Zen monk moving deftly in the roiled pool at the base of the tall falls.

...I need to learn to swim in this water! I often feel like C and D are the only options in my life, which isn't awesome.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned last year.

Shut the FUCK up, woman!!

Quote a song lyric or poem that sums up your year.

"Through many dangers, toils and snares... / I have already come. / 'Tis Grace has brought me safe thus far... / and Grace will lead us home.
The Lord has promised good to me... / His word my hope secures. / He will my shield and portion be / as long as life endures."

Add a question of your own and answer it.

I got nuthin'