Google Says

(Swiped from Kwizgiver)

1. Type in "Cat. needs" in the Google search:
...to lose weight
Reaction: Well, that's rather rude. Also, true, but jeez.
[[real name result: ...a heart transplant // Reaction: Yoicks I hope not!!]]

2. Type in "Cat. wants" in the Google search:
...to be petted
Reaction: No, not really.
[[real name result: ...perfection // Reaction: Really?]]

3. Type in "Cat. is" in the Google search:
...sneezing
Reaction: The next option is "constipated"--I'll stick with sneezing.
[[real name result: ...a resident of [the state I actually live in] // Reaction: WHHHATTTT? Oh, ok, it's the beginning of a story problem. The next sentence is "[Guy's name] is a resident of [a nearby state]..."]]

4. Type in "Cat. looks like" in Google search:
...Hitler.
Reaction: Not very much, thank God!
[[real name result: ...she is about 7' tall here // Reaction: But I'm not.]]

5. Type in "Cat. does" in Google search:
..n't purr.
Reaction: No, I don't. Sorry.
[[real name result: ...math // Reaction: Not bloody likely.]]

6. Type in "Cat. likes" in the Google search:
...water.
Reaction: Bathing, not swimming.
[[real name result: ...Ziam // Reaction: Noooo....?]]

7. Type in "Cat. hates" in Google search:
...me.
Reaction: No. I don't really hate anyone.
[[real name result: ...it when I post these // Reaction: Probably with good reason.]]

8. Type in "Cat. goes" or “..has gone" in Google search:
...crazy
Reaction: Regularly.
[[real name result is boring]]

9. Type in "Cat. loves" in Google search:
...baby
Reaction: Ahhh, sweet.
[[real name result: ...to pop bubbles // Reaction: I do?]]

10. Type in "Cat. says" in the Google search:
...no
Reaction: Not often enough.
[[real name result: ...so (all scrunched together in a URL // Reaction: I'm afraid to click on the link.]]

11. Type in "Cat. eats" in Google search:
...plastic
Reaction: Not very often, and never intentionally.
[[real name result: ...banana for the first time // Reaction: I'm sure that's fun.]]

12. Type in "Cat. has" in Google search:
...a cold
Reaction: Fair's fair. The first answer is actually "diarrhea" but I'd rather have a cold, thanks.
[[real name result is boring]]

13. Type in "Cat. makes" in Google search:
...weird noises
Reaction: LOLOL yes!!
[[real name result: ...early decision // Reaction: That would be unusual.]]

14. Type in "Cat. can" in the Google search:
...cook banana muffins
Reaction: Yes, though not with any regularity.
[[real name result is boring]]

15. Type in "Cat. will" in Google search:
...not eat
Reaction: This is rarely a problem I have.
[[real name result is boring]]

My real name is boring.