Sunday Stealing

(Link in meme-roll)
The I Meme

I am...

...not God. Theologically, and linguistically, Yahweh, one of the names for the God of the Old Testament, means "I Am." So Popeye is God: "I yam what I yam." And I'm not. [Hey, it's Sunday, and I'm zonky-tired from lack of sleep and feeling lousy--work with me, eh?]

I want...

...to fix problems. It is pretty much part of my job: answering questions, solving problems, advising people on research questions. Unfortunately, that isn't always a good way to deal with the world, my life, or other people. This leads to "control-creep" in my life that screws me all up periodically.

I have...

...far too much stuff, most of which I don't need/want/use. And yet, I buy more.

I wish...

...I had a watermelon." Actually no I don't--because I don't like watermelon--but it's what we say when we rub each other's hair or bellies. No clue. Thanks, Mike G. [yes I know it's from Little Rascals]

I hate...

...being thoughtless and hurtful. And I do manage to include at least one or the other--usually both--in pretty much every single day.

I fear...

...grizzly bears. And pain. Not death, just pain. I'm not good with pain. The bears thing: I read two books at about the same time a few years ago about grizzly bear attacks which were absolutely terrifying. I've read a few more on the subject, either directly or glancingly, since then and I can honestly say that this is the one thing in nature that freaks me out more than anything else. Then again, there are no grizzlies where I live now. So there's that.

I hear...

...America singing!" We sang this in choir in junior high, and I remember Miss L stopping us on the next line over and over: "Not 'vareeed' carols!! 'Varid' carols!!" I don't even remember any of the other lyrics, just "I hear America singing! Varied carols I hear..." Surely we eventually sang the whole thing?

I search...

...for ways of getting out of work in much the same way an anteater looks for ants.

I wonder...

...as I wander..." and I do not know anything else about this song. In reality I wish I wondered more. Wonder is a good place to be.

I regret...

...many of the times I've blown up at people. That's happening less often, but I do have a temper that gets away from me. I have some horrible memories of screaming full-throttle at Sparky when he was small. SMH--bad parenting 101.

I love...

...that it just occurred to me that love is one of those verbs that pretty much requires an object after it. While grammatically, "I love." is a sentence, it is meaningless in the usual sense. I love playing with words.

I never...

...say never. OK, I try to stay away from using that word because it regularly comes back around and smacks me down hard.

I ache...

...when I see people making or about to make their lives more difficult without knowing it. Sometimes you can stop the crap-slide, but often there's nothing you can do except watch as their lives spin into chaos.

I always...

...try to avoid this one too. Because the only thing I always do, really, is breathe. And eventually that will stop too.

I usually...

...say this! Hah! I usually have bare feet, or feet covered only by socks. I'm not a fan of shoes...ok, I actually LOVE shoes, but I really, truly adore not wearing anything on my feet at all.

I am not...

...at church. I should be. I was there for Sunday School with the middle-school kids, but I bailed on worship and got my car washed instead. Just in time for more snow. Because that's how I roll.

I dance...

...when no one is looking. Often my best dancing happens in the kitchen, while stirring stuff on the stove, or while washing dishes, or while emptying the dishwasher. And yes, I have music on while the dancing is happening. I'm usually singing too.

I sing...

...the body electric!" I'm very Whitman-y today, which is odd. I love singing. I don't have a 'trained' or exceptionally wonderful voice, but I can generally carry a tune. However, last fall and winter my voice completely went screwy and I couldn't sing hymns at church which was maddening. And sad. And worrisome. I seem to be better now.

I sometimes...

...wish I'd never moved to the Midwest to go to college 30+ years ago. I can't seem to get out. Then again, if I hadn't my life would be Sparky-less, and that makes me sad to think about.

I cry...

...often. This past week, I literally cried every day from Wednesday thru yesterday. So far. There may be tears yet today. And two of those days were truly Ugly Cry Days, full of snorts and snot and so forth.

I am not always...

...as cheerful as one would think. I'm a terrific actress, especially while working with the public. It's exhausting, though, and drains the soul right out of me to fake it for more than about 3 hours.

I lose...

...my train of thought on a regular basis, and it's getting worse as I get older. Late-stage ADD? Early-stage dementia? Just more of "me" shining through?

I am confused...

...about Sparky's plans post-graduation. Since we might be funding some of those plans--or he might be expecting that we'll be doing so--this worries me. No big change, but he's not exactly the most clear about what's going on in his life on a regular basis. That would me understating in a dramatic fashion.

I need...

...a nap today. I need to lose a lot of weight--she says while munching on her [n]th scone of the day. I need to stop beating myself up over the things I do wrong, since other people seem more than willing to do that for me. And I need to stop hosting pity-parties for myself.

I should...

...go clean up the guinea pig cage as soon as I finish this. In general, I try to stay away from "should" though--it's a recipe for shame/guilt and see above.