Patrick's Place

(Link in meme-roll)
Saturday Six Two-Fer

For [the first six] questions, assume you've just read the morning paper and spotted a false report of your own death.
1. Who would be the first person close to you whom you'd call to set the record straight?

I'd call the editor of our local weekly paper, with whom I "do" Bible Study every week, and who goes to my church. Actually, she wouldn't have published it, because she would've known I wasn't dead.

2. Would you call the newspaper to dispute the report before or after calling the person you named in Question 1?

Don't think I'd need to call her paper. And frankly, the local daily screws so much up on a regular basis that I'd just let it go and see who-all checked in with us; might be an interesting test-case.

3. Would you be tempted to play along with the situation and show up somewhere that you knew people who thought you'd died would be, just to see their reaction?

I might not correct it, but I also wouldn't do anything like this, or like showing up at "my funeral." That just creeps me the fuck out right there!

4. Would you go online to read comments if you knew your newspaper's website had such a place for people to leave memories of you?

Oh, wouldn't that be tempting? But no...I'm really trying to wean myself away from reading comments sections in newspapers. Now, if I could just train myself to do that for other online news sites like NPR and Huff Post, my life would be awesome.

5. If you could find an honest listing of such memories and thoughts from people who knew you, would you expect the comments to be all positive, all negative, mostly positive, mostly negative, or in the middle?

OK, seriously, who writes mean stuff in memorial books?? Even if they are 100% honest, no one is going to go into 'that one time' I hollered at someone's kid, or 'those other times' when I was a bitch. I may not be perfect, and I may not have perfect friends, but I really believe that no one I know would troll my obit.

6. If you were to see your obituary, would you hope that your true age was or wasn't mentioned?

I don't give even the tiniest shit if people know how old I am. Here it is folks: I'm turning 50 in less than 3 months. Suck it.

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1. You want a nice sit-down dinner you know you'll enjoy at a restaurant and you're alone: which local restaurant are you likely to choose?

Panera, maybe, or Izzy's or Six Balls.

2. Which dish are you most likely to order and why?

Panera's going to be soup in a bread bowl. Izzy's or Six Balls...dunno. Maybe a salad? Maybe just dessert (Izzy's has a display case of desserts that is killer).

3. Now you have the chance to entertain someone visiting from out of town: which restaurant are you likely to choose and why?

The Pub? We don't really have any fancy restaurants around here. We could, I suppose, take someone to The Mill (where Sparky worked while he was in high school)--in fact, we have taken guests there--but now that we know about the kitchen conditions from Sparky....maybe not.

4. Which dish from a restaurant have you most diligently tried to duplicate in your own kitchen?

I have never, ever, not once, done this. OK, I can whip up Chicken Masala Tikka like any good English takeaway joint, but that's like saying I make burgers like McDonald's does.

5. How close have you come to matching the flavors of restaurant chefs you've tried to emulate?

My burgers taste nothing like McDonald's burgers, and my tikka doesn't really taste like takeaway tikka. [Wow, say that last bit a few times fast, for fun!] Food made in bulk just doesn't taste the same as food made for a family meal.

6. What's your favorite drink — it can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic — to have with a nice dinner?

A 'nice' dinner calls for good wine, usually a pinot grigio or a gewurtz. Otherwise, at a not-so-nice, or at least less fancy, place I'll just have a V&T, or V-rocks, with a lime twist.