If this is what you want then fire at will

(from here)

If you have ever skipped school, what was the most fun you ever had when skipping school (as in going to Disneyland or something else besides sleeping in)? I don't believe I ever skipped school frivolously.

Have you ever had great exceptions [sic] of someone before meeting them, and when you finally did, they weren't who you think they would be? Of course. My current boss springs immediately to mind for some reason.

What was the last major change you made in your appearance? Well, I suppose gaining back a bunch of weight probably counts, eh?

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? If you have, was it hard for you to admit you weren't straight? Not really, so no.

Have you ever pushed a friend or someone out of your life because they were gay or has someone pushed you out of their life because you're gay? I hope not.

Did you ever hang out with the "tough" crowd at school? HELL no!!

Did you have sex or done other sexual activities without the other person saying they loved you? Sure.

Have you (or someone you know) ever cut yourself purposely? Are you (or they) still a cutter? Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever dated someone as a rebound from your old relationship? I don't think so.

Have you or anyone you've known been in an abusive relationship? How long did you or they take to get out of the relationship? Yes, I know a few people who are or were in this situation. Details not to be disclosed.

What was the most embarrassing moment involving a crush or an ex? Getting a friend to have The Cute Boy sign my yearbook in 8th grade was mortifying. He and I are, oddly, now friends on Facebook, though he has turned into a body-builder and isn't at all cute anymore.

Have you ever been the other girl in a relationship (the person was cheating on their current lover with you)? Have you ever been cheated on? Have you ever cheated on someone you were seeing? In hindsight, I think I was probably the other girl, or at least the rebound girl at one point. He changed schools and we never really talked after that.

Did your school offer driver's education? Did you actually get to go behind the wheel or was it all textbook learning? Real driver's ed, in class and behind the wheel. What's the point of textbook learning only??

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Did you (or girlfriend) take a pregnancy test or did you just end up having your period (your girlfriend got her period)? Yeah, and I was just late.

What was the biggest decision you ever had to make in your life? No clue. There've been a lot.

Have you ever had a Saturday detention/school? How was it? Was it anything like The Breakfast Club? No detentions in my history.

What was the worst reason you've ever been to the hospital for? Prescription drug reaction: yeah for epinephrine with no food in my system!

Does/Did your school have a talent show? Have you ever entered it and did you win? I actually have no memory of a talent show in high school, but a couple of friends and I tried out for a talent show in junior high. Somehow we were accepted. Mortifying!!

Have you ever been on TV before? Not alone.

How often do you or did you skip school because you weren't up to dealing with the daily dramas of school? See first question. OK, actually, I played sick for two days in grade school and have clear memory of the 'conversation' I had with my mom at the end of Day Two.

If your parents/whoever you lived with said they were moving, would you go on student welfare so you could stay in your town/close to friends/whatever? I'm 48 and my parents are dead. You do the math.

What was the most disastrous dance you've been to? Perhaps the one when Teri got her period in the middle of it....while wearing white pants.

***
Things We All Do (Pt.1)
Bold if you can relate.

That mini heart attack you get when you drop your phone.
That split second when you've rocked too far back on your chair's hind legs and you think you're about to die.
Looking all over for something, then realizing you had it in your hand.
I shrink in my seat or look away so my teacher won't call on me to answer the question.
I eat because I'm bored, not because I'm hungry.
Going to sleep with two socks on and only waking up with one.
My bed just seems so much more comfortable on days I have to wake up for school.
I'm putting on jeans with holes in them and my foot goes through the hole.
When I'm in the shower, I slowly turn the water temperature up higher and higher.
When I realize I overslept, I jump out of bed like a ninja.
I make up a dream in my head before I go to sleep.
Posing for ten seconds while taking a picture and then realizing it's a video.
I type out my whole sentence and then look at the computer screen and realize I wasn't typing.
After sending a risky text, one minute feels like an eternity.
My conditioner always runs out before my shampoo. [and vice-versa]
I text while I'm laying down and drop my phone on my face.
I wake up with a song stuck in my head and wonder how it got there.
When I'm not sure how to spell something, I add a bunch of letters to make it look like I meant to mess it up.
No mom...I don't need a jacket, I'm going from the house to the car.
I throw clean clothes in the hamper because I'm too lazy to fold them.
I do most of my thinking in the shower.
I have that one song on my iPod that I hope no one finds.
It's not so funny when I hit my funny bone.
My parents assume that every person I talk to is my boyfriend/girlfriend.
The awkward eye contact you make with your teacher when trying to cheat on a test.
I always take a peek out of my 3D glasses, just to see the difference.
I always seem to have to pee when I'm hiding.
I hate when I'm dreaming and I can only run in slow motion.
No scary little girl showed up in my room when I didn't reblog the post.
I'm scared to open my eyes in the shower because when I open them, I don't want a killer to be standing there.
I hate it when someone wakes me up in the middle of a good dream.
When I'm upset, I use one word answers.
When I highlight, I get a little too carried away.
When I was little, everyone's favorite color was blue.
I pretend to be asleep when someone walks into the room.
Sometimes, when I'm alone, I feel like a camera is watching me.
I have to keep reminding myself that if he wanted to talk to me, then he would.
I wouldn't know anyone's birthday if it wasn't for Facebook.
I still bite the life out of my straws.
When it's a new year, it takes me about six months to get used to writing the new date on my paper.
I never know what I should do when people are singing Happy Birthday to me.
Catching something in mid-air and feeling like a ninja.
Having a random spaz attack in bed while having a dream that you're falling.
Hearing your voice on video and asking yourself if you really sound like that.
When I'm sleeping at a friend's house and I wake up before them, I sit there staring at the ceiling for an hour.
When it gets awkward at someone's house, I pet their dog.
I hate wasting a cute outfit on what I think is going to be a good night.
The awkward eye contact with people at red lights in the car next to yours.
Laughing while telling a funny story to friends, but they just stand there with blank faces.
The awkward moment after you say goodbye to someone and you both walk in the same directions.
I can never find anything after I clean my room.
When someone takes the piece of food that you have mentally claimed.
I'm dying to talk to you, but I refuse to text you first.
I laugh at my own jokes, because I'm hilarious.
I swear all of my pens fall into a black hole at the bottom of my bookbag.
I wish music played during epic moments of my life, and not just in movies.
I walk a little faster when I see a creepy van.
I still struggle to open a bag even though it says Tear Here.
Laughing so hard with no sound coming out, then ending up clapping like a seal.
I climb into bed, snuggle up, then realize the light is still on.
Why do you continue to text me after I ignored the other ten messages?
I say nevermind because I'm just too lazy to repeat myself.
The 'Would You Still Be My Friend If I Looked Like This' game.
The most awkward feeling is watching a sex scene of a movie with your parents. [or your kid]
When I walk into a spider web, I immediately go psycho.
Sometimes, when I'm walking, I try to keep my feet in the little square tiles.
Missed calls: Dad(1) Sister(1) Mom(36) [I wish]
When people talk to me when I have headphones in, I pretend not to notice.

***
Things We All Do (Pt.2)
Bold if you can relate.

I purposely mismatch my socks.
I throw my phone out of anger, then go see if it's okay.
I look into the street lights to see if it's snowing.
When I have a sharpie in my hand, I write my name everywhere.
The only reason I check my voicemail is to get rid of the little icon on the screen.
I draw ridiculous conclusions out of nothing and think of the worst possible outcome.
I delete my whole password after typing one letter wrong.
When someone trips, instead of helping them up, I laugh.
When. I. Read. A. Sentence. Like. This, the voice in my head takes pauses.
I type out what I really want to say, then erase the whole thing.
I jump up every time my toast pops out of the toaster.
WHEN I READ A SENTENCE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, the voice in my head yells.
I get a mini heart attack when someone says 'Can I talk to you?'
Before I get into my car, I check the backseat to see if anyone's there.
I take about a million pictures of myself but wind up deleting all of them and only choosing one.
I tell my parents a funny story, and then it turns into a life lesson.
I open a pack of gum in class, and suddenly everyone is my best friend and wants a piece.
When I'm bored in class, I write my name in script about 100 times on the page.
I draw on fogged up windows.
I can never take my own advice.
I procrastinate....and I'm doing it right now.
I replay my favorite song over and over again until I get sick of it and don't like it anymore. [used to do this--not anymore]
Missing someone's call, calling them back a minute later, and they don't answer.
My relationship status is 'forever alone' instead of 'single.'
Thinking about someone, then wondering if they're thinking about you too.
Spelling 'Febuary' instead of 'February.'
I get so excited when I'm waiting for a text from my crush, but when my phone goes off, it's someone else.
I text someone in the same room as me, and stare at them until they get it.
I say I'm fine when I'm really not.
I still use my fingers to do simple math equations.
I make a goal to finish my chapstick before it falls off the face of the earth.
I say 'haha' after a text so it won't sound so serious.
I try to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 00:00.
I do my homework while watching tv, check it the next day, and everything's wrong.
Trying to catch something in my mouth, but instead it hits me in the eye.
I leave the bathroom door open when I'm home alone.
People think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm really being serious.
Becoming friends with the 'weird kid', now being stalked for life.
Pouring cereal into a bowl, then realizing there is no milk.
I'd rather "I love you." than "ily."
I check my phone every minute while waiting for a text.
When I blow my nose in a silent classroom, I'll do it quietly so people don't think it's gross.
I feel my phone vibrate when it doesn't.
When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is pee.
I can't sleep without the tv on.
Thinking something weird/dirty, then hoping no one in the room is a mind reader.
When a website says 'We will be back shortly.' I refresh the page 1000 times.
When I'm home alone, I blast my music extremely loud.
I hate when people don't know the difference between their, there, and they're.
I put on more chapstick than necessary.
I didn't hear what you said, so I'll laugh and hope it wasn't a question.
While in class, one person coughs, and so does everyone else.
Smiling at a little kid, then feeling like a creep when they look away.
I yell at inanimate objects when I get mad.
Eating only the icing off the cupcake.
Meowing at cats until they meow back.
Finished my test...only to realize that there is a backside.
I'll zone out, only to realize that I'm staring at a person.
When I finish a test, I won't turn it in until someone else does.
When I'm in class, I won't cough until someone else does.
I hate when people ask me if they can ask me a question.
Every time I see the word 'explain' on a test, I die a little inside.
When I'm eating something, I'll save the best part for last.
When I get a new phone, I'll keep the plastic on the screen for days.
When I trip, I immediately look around to see if anyone noticed.
When I look at a picture of a group of people, I automatically find myself in the picture first.
When I go to sleep, I cover my feet in the blanket because I'm scared someone will grab them.