Friday, July 9, 2010

The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
Not Looking for Anything
Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. We use only "lines" that are gender-neutral. So, your mission is to respond to ten we choose each week.

1. I’m not looking for a romantic relationship at this time, I am simply looking for interesting and fun people.
Good luck with that; most people are neither.
2. It is frustrating that the only options are Men OR Women, not both.
I find it frustrating that I have to deal with idiots on a regular basis. I guess that makes us even, eh?
3. The little things in life mean the most to me.
Yeah, I'm going directly to the anatomy comments...in my head.
4. I want to see what is around the corner.
I'll build you a fucking periscope, just hold your damn horses!
5. You dont have to share everything with me, it's cool to have your own life too.
Gee, how super of you! Here's the thing though: I like to share, especially when it comes to PUNCTUATION! Here: .......;;;;;;'''''''',,,,,,,,::::::: Use them in good health while I go live my life for awhile.
6. I'm looking for something real.
So, no dragons. Bummer. I like the dragons.
7. No, I'm not psycho, needy, mental, bogged down with baggage or any of those other scary things that you may have come across in your dating adventures.
You left out co-dependent. But it's ok. I'm sure you'll find it out there somewhere.
8. It is hard to tell what kind of a person someone really is in paragraphs.
Rent an editor and get back to me. I saw a "Malcolm in the Middle" episode about this very issue yesterday, incidentally. Fool got admitted to Stanford.
9. Well when you're hot you're hot.
I am hot. It's summer. Duh.
10. My Motto is you get what you give.
My motto is that I don't want what most people got. That's why I have a lifetime supply of Cipro in my bunker.

2 sweet-talkers :

Bud Weiser, WTIT said...

These were all time losers. I kept reading and thought, "WTF?" Loved your take, "I'll build you a fucking periscope, just hold your damn horses!" had me LOLROF...

Cat. said...

I think I'm getting more forgiving (more desperate); these didn't seem as bad as some previous ones.

Not that I would be able to control the snark long enough to get to know any of them, however.

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