The Queen's Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
The Weird, Unusual and Amusing Meme
The following statements are true. Your job is to explain why you think they are true. Just offer up your usual amusing quips! I'm betting we'll have some hysterical responses. Remember that somewhere somebody in the world needs to know these things and your tax dollars probably paid for the research that went into proving them true.

1. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Where is all this donkey death occurring? If we're talking worldwide, then it makes sense, as more people travel by donkey, or live near donkeys, worldwide than travel in planes. Plane crashes really are relatively rare. And donkeys can be nasty creatures (not without good reason, I'm told, however). Personally, I'm rooting for the donkeys. As you can tell, I seem to still be under the Cranky Cloud again today.

2. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Yes, and why DOESN'T he wear pants? Actually Bugs Bunny doesn't wear any clothes. He should be banned too, right?
Wait. I love Bugs. He and Opus (the penguin) are my ideal men. Yes, I'm aware they are cartoon animals. What's wrong with that? But they really oughta wear pants.

3. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

...and it will also eventually smell bad as it rots. This is not news.

4. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. Why were they fighting in the first place?

England demanded Zanzibar sell its Zs, and Zanzibar refused. So England took 'em and sold 'em to Zambia and Zimbabwe. Gotta love colonialism.

5. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Perhaps it's because women are gobsmacked by idiotic behavior twice as often as men.

6. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Which ant? Is it the one that was hanging out with the goldfish in the dark room? Why is it drunk? I didn't think ants drank. I mean, in the story about the ants and the grasshopper, the ants were NOT the party animals.
Or did you mean 'aunts'? This aunt doesn't fall down on either side when she's intoxicated. I stay seated until sober.

7. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Much like most people in management. [sorry, those of you normal people in management: today was REALLY not a good day at work]

8. In England, the Speaker of The House is not allowed to speak.

Because then we'd never get him to STFU! I'm not sure this is actually true, by the way, as I've watched debates in the House of Commons and the Speaker is the one who allows MPs to speak. Wikipedia doesn't say anything about the Speaker not speaking.

9. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

Trust me: I could. I can sink in anything. Maybe not the Dead Sea, but anywhere else. I'm a Sinking Machine.

10. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

OK, I'm getting annoyed. 12 in the WORLD? 12 in the United States? 12 in Kentucky? Sometimes, trading kids is a good idea, isn't it?

12. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Makes perfect sense to me. The only thing that surprises me is that the electric chair wasn't invented by a reference librarian for use on the public.