Monday Mayhem

Link in meme-roll)
What are you thinking?
For each scenario, give your interpretation of what the person may have been thinking.

1. The person with 40 items in the 12 items or less line.

"I am in a HUGE hurry, and this is the shortest line. The rest of the world doesn't exist." Or perhaps, "I can't read English and I've never shopped in America before."

2. The driver who is smoking and talking on a cell phone while driving.

"I'm so important and so busy I can't be expected to pull off to the side. Besides, I do this all the time, and I've never had an accident."

3. The father with 8 children and a TV show who cheats on his wife...over and over again...

"My wife is a shrieking harridan who never has anything good to say about me on national TV. She treats me like I'm kid #9. All I wanted was to find someone to talk to, and it was so sexy that I couldn't stop myself." [hint: a divorce would have been easier on everyone, dude]

4. Facebook and their security features.

"We are in this for profit. How can we best balance profit and keeping our customers happy? Well, at least the majority of our customers; some of them are NEVER happy!"

5. Heidi Montag.

I am almost 100% certain that she doesn't think. Moving on....

6. People who attempt to sell Viagra via spam comments.

"People are truly stupid enough that we will make money on something this lame."

7. Those wonderful shoppers who catch up on their phone calls while shopping.

See comments on #2 + "Besides, who wouldn't want to listen to me discuss my Very Important/Exciting Life."

8. People who find themselves on the People of Walmart website.

Wow, really? Where are these cameras?!?! Okay anyway..."I'm sure I look hawt with my stylin tank top and shiny belt (even if you can't see the buckle)."

9. People who just can be stupid....From Whitetrashrepairs.com

"I thought you were going to measure the bridges! I was calling about lunch while you did that!"

10. People with multiple-multiple piercings.

"I know you'll never forget ME!"

11. Blog Stalkers.

"I can't face people IRL and have no self-esteem whatsoever so I'll just creep around the net."

12. In-laws who are controlling or bossie [sic].

"I'm just trying to help!"

13. People who use or wear items and then attempt to return them.

"I'm lazy, ignorant, disgusting, and amoral."

14. You share one with us :)

"I don't understand why others find me to be so negative. Just because I vent sometimes...ok, ALL the time...why do all you people keep running away from me?!"