The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
Always Up to the Challenge
This is a bit different than an "answer this question" meme. Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do.

1. It's hard for me to describe myself, I think I probably see myself much differently than others do, but hey, always up to the challenge.

Way to get right to the "How about sex?" question in one run-on sentence. [Also, perhaps you should work a little more on integrating your view of reality with the world's, hey?]

2. I am shy but outgoing, timid but strong, a loner but loves to be around people.

...a good speller who can't bother to make grammatical sense. I'm thinking bipolarity iz U.

3. I am very educated, not necessarily from a collegiate accomplishment level as I am street wise and in tune with my surroundings, making me more often comfortable than anxious.

Y'know, someone can be anxious while still being smart, street-wise, tuned-in, and accomplished. None of these things are mutually exclusive. Anyway, let me rewrite this as I'm hearing it: "I'm a smart-ass who flunked out of college because I know more shit that those nerdy profs. I smoke a lot of pot and live in my parents' basement."

4. I have spent a lot of time alone for the last few years because I took a good look and did not like who I saw anymore so I took the time out to get to know myself and change those values and attitudes I did not like and made sure the change was what is me.

Convoluted much? I think I'll go with the rewrite again: "I woke up one morning and found 'You ARE [the female] Seth Rogan! Goodbye!' written on the mirror in lipstick. And when I really looked, by golly, that was right! After that, I couldn't get a date, so I spent a lot of time alone. That sucked, but I read a lot of books about How to Deal With People. I figured out that most people don't want to date puppies, so I started acting like a grownup human being. I still can't write very well, but I'm working on it."

5. purify me.

Er, no?
Alternative reply: fuck you.

6. I don't have any tolerance for intolerance so no "isms" or "phobias" allowed.

So you've just said you're intolerant. Way to make me laugh so hard my isms all fell off.

7. Like the mountains, deserts, 'rock collecting" is something my grandfather got me into.

...uh, wow. I'm not sure WHAT is going on here. You like rock collecting, that part I get, but what are those first 4 words doing in this sentence? And the whole mis-matched quote thing is like wearing a silk blouse with overalls. Hey, actually, is your grandfather still around? He sounds cool!

8. The thing that makes me laugh is our annual family reunion.

Oh, dear Lord, me too. Wait! Cousin Pat, is that you?!

9. I'm as natural as country so I do not put up with nonsense. Just enjoy being HAPPY.

Only someone who doesn't actually live in the country thinks "the country" is natural. Dude, pesticides are us! [I do live pretty much in the country, and have a few friends who grew up on farms. Trust me on this.] What if I'm not happy? Should I enjoy being UNhappy? Or just leave until I'm happy? I'm so confused.

10. I hate going to bed n sleeping alone.

I think we'll definitely have to agree to disagree on this one. I love sleeping alone! Doing other things in bed alone sorta sucks though....