The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
I Know What I Want

1. I have updated my profile. I'm at a point in my life where I know exactly what I want.

So, you're planning to die soon, then. Cuz, seriously, that's my cut-off date for knowing what I want.

2. I want someone who will be a healthy role model in my children's lives.

And Lord knows, it isn't likely to be you!

3. I really enjoy being in nature, feeling and listening to the crunching of leaves under my feet, listening to the waves hit the shore, staying home and listening to the rain and watching a good movie with someone nice, to playing shuffleboard together as we age.

{eyeroll} Does no one reread what they wrote and edit for coherence? More to the point, you sound even more boring that me. Please at least tell me you're a girl.

4. I just haven't met you yet.

Nope. Or, rather, I hope not. On the other hand, I meet people every day, some of whom get very friendly far too quickly. Yuck.

5. Whatever happened to real dating? Is it silly of me to think that it could possibly still exist?

No. It's not silly. But it doesn't work like it did in, oh, 1962, either.

6. I like sun more than snow.

What about sun on snow? I'm right there with you, but I'm not sure that's a real strong basis for a relationship, any more than preferring blue over orange.

7. Happily never married, now it doesn't seem like such a bad idea! Actually, it isn't the "married" part that is attractive at this point in my life, I'd love to consider a soulmate with whom to share the second half of life.

Feh. Now that it suits you, you're all about it. Except for the part of you that's conflicted, which would be about 98% of you. Quite the improvement from being 100% conflicted 10 years ago.

8. Newly separated, looking for someone to have some adventures with.

"Separated" does not equal "divorced." When you are newly divorced, try again. But not with me.

9. Been looking for love in all the wrong places... maybe here will be the right place.

Nope. I'd move on. There has to be a right place, but I'm unlikely to be in it.

10. I belong to a non profit (the "Court") in which my court name is Ingok Ryd-alot, I'll explain about the court later.

No, you'll explain it right now, mister! You brought it up in the first line of your profile, so don't be a putz. [Please, this has to be a guy, it just has to!]