Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Queen's Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
The What Not Meme

What NOT To Do when you’re…..

1. On a first date -- Belch, order spaghetti or salad, or talk about your weird family members.

2. Intoxicated -- Try to convince anyone that you're FINE, JUS' FUCKIN' FINE!

3. In the shower -- Brush your teeth. Pee.

4. At your ex’s wedding -- Be there. I mean, with few exceptions, why would you wanna be there??

5. In jail -- Speak to anyone other than your attorney.

6. Being stalked -- Talk to the creep.

7. Stuck to an igloo --Uh, what could you do while stuck to an igloo? OK, I guess it wouldn't be wise to antagonize a passing polar bear.

8. In sewing class -- Sit down on your sewing. Trust me. It's not good.

9. Asleep in a helium balloon -- I think it's too late. Falling asleep would be a stunningly bad idea.

10. At a birthday party for twins -- Mix up who is who. And bringing one gift "to share" would be a bad idea too.

11. On a nude beach -- Open your eyes. I mean, if I'm there and nude, you really don't want to see that!

12. At the opera -- Sing along.

13. You’re falling in love --Let go of reality completely. Keep one foot (or at least a toe) on the ground.

14. Low on gasoline in a bad part of town -- Stop. Keep driving, and call 911. And, yo, next time: gas up before you leave?

15. Having a baby -- Refuse drugs.

16. On fire -- Run. Running is a bad idea.

17. Lost at the mall -- How lost can anyone get at the mall?? I guess the only thing I can think of is to go into Hollister to ask for help.

18. At a single’s dance -- Admit to being single. "I'm with the caterers."

19. Riding a bike on the Jersey Turnpike -- Look, if I'm riding a bike ANYwhere in New Jersey, I've lost my mind. I would not approach; I'm likely to be dangerous. I don't think there's a "worst thing" I can do.

20. Driving your significant other's car -- Forget to move the seat back to where I found it. He gets a leetle cranky.

21. Being robbed at gunpoint -- Argue.

22. Kissing -- Sneeze. Trust me.

23. Paying the hotel cashier -- Complain. Wait till the credit card has cleared.

24. Buying lingerie -- Lie about your size.

24. Commenting on a blog -- Flame. Just don't. I hate flame wars, they are so 1990s.

25. In Queen Mimi's dungeon -- Panic.

4 sweet-talkers :

j said...

"Paying the hotel cashier -- Complain. Wait till the credit card has cleared." That IS good advice! For some reason, #23 gave me fits and I answered it last. Maybe because my husband always pays?

Kwizgiver said...

I wonder if the Queen meant a hot air balloon instead of a helium balloon?

Great answer for the lingerie question.

Anonymous said...

We matched on #7. Yeah the kissing/sneezing thing...not good...

Mimi Lenox said...

Oh, that clever Kwizgiver. I DID mean hot air instead of helium. LOL
I think it's time for a break for Mimi.

And there are 2 #24s. Sigh.

I'll try to do better next week.
I never thought about kissing and sneezing. Yuk!

You are so right about not refusing drugs while having a baby. Trust me on that one!

Thanks for playing. Funny answers.

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