The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
Picture Perfect
This is a bit different than an "answer this question" meme. Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do.

1. I look exactly like my pictures, so don’t think that these are from another decade, they are me as I look NOW.

OK, then. Thanks for clarifying. I'm a little confused about the 80s-style mullet and the enormous shoulder pads, but whatever you think works for you....

2. I enjoy nights in watching movies by the light of the fireplace.

Wow, that is a very cool fireplace! I have to use my TV or computer to watch movies.

3. Me???? loyal, romantic...the usual BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Oh, yeah, you sound REALLY REALLY romantic. Bring on the roses and the champagne, blah blah blah.

4. Sculpting is my love.

Why are you even on a dating site, then? You've found your soulmate already.

5. I live in this country for about ten years. Most wonderful country to live in. There are many things I like about it, but the most I like is it's nature. I'm close to nature. I can hear it!

Well, for heaven's sake, go inside and shut the door then!

6. I also love to ride western pleasure my horses are my favorite hobby.

Let me introduce you to #5. You have the same English skills, even if you do ride western. I think. [how's that for keeping this PG, folks?]

7. I am too soon out of a relationship to have another right now but you never know what life will bring your way.

Again, if you don't want to be here, why are you here? Or are you really just asking someone for a booty call.

8. I change so much day to day that I always try to find new ways of doing things or arranging things.

You sound like the most exhausting person I've ever heard of. Get thee away from me!

9. What can I say, I am what I am!

Oooh, and I know your name: Popeye! Nice muscles. How about some canned spinach? And really, you should be nicer to Olive.

10. I'm not going to lie, I am not a twig...I'm curvy.

You need to meet Nature Dude above too: twigs can be curvy. I'm assuming you mean you're more of a branch or a limb--both of which can also be curvy, but are thicker.