Patrick's Place

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Monday's Morals

You are visiting a relative in a nursing home, when you are approached by an old man you’ve never seen before, who approaches you and immediately embraces you. With tears welling up in his eyes, he refers to you as an old friend he was certain had died during "the war." You realize that this person is an Alzheimer's patient, and a nurse comes along and begins to help him back to his room. In the meantime, how do you respond to him: would you tell him who you really are, or would you play along with his delusion? Why or why not?

OK, I will stipulate that in this situation I'm a man because otherwise the situation doesn't make sense. ;-)

Honestly, I'd play along, assuming I realized that there was a nurse or aide on the way to intervene. The chances of this guy remembering me this time are pretty slim, and it wouldn't be worth upsetting him in the short term to let him know that he's confused about who I am. Besides, who wouldn't want to be mistaken for a hero?

There are other situations that I would NOT play along: I would NOT impersonate this man's wife for instance. I would clarify who I was if the patient was upset or angry about thinking I was someone else: someone he considered an enemy, a parent, etc. I don't want to take abuse in someone else's place, but at the end of the day, if there is staff around to step in, I don't think I'd make a big deal out of it. If I were alone with him...wow, that could be problematic. I'd probably just leave as soon as I oculd do so.