1. If you won the lottery, would you consider donating a percentage of the money? Already have (considered it) and would do it in a heartbeat.
2. Would you consider getting Botox injections to your armpits to decrease sweating? This is not something I have ever worried about. Injecting poison into my body would definitely be a last resort along the lines of chemotherapy.
3. Do you wear a lot of corduroy? I think I have one pair of cords. I don't think they fit right now either. So, ultimately, no.
4. Does the weather have a very large impact on your moods? The amount of sunlight does. The weather itself, no.
5. If you had a child, do you think your child would have any reason to be ashamed of you? I have a teenager. I live in a perpetual state of waiting for the "Oh, mo-ommm" eyeroll. I think, in ten years, he will only be ashamed of me in irritated ways, not in any serious way.
6. Do you buy eggnog around the holidays? Yup, the 'lite' version. Just one quart, though, since no one else here will drink it.
7. Did you play cowboys and Indians when you were a small child? I know I played cowboys -- I had me a silver cap pistol and a cool hat. I can't remember if there were Indians involved. I'd like to say that we played cowboys and sheep farmers, but I fear we were not that enlightened.
8. Do you watch your neighbors from your windows? Not unless they are setting off bombs. Our watchable neighbors don't really do that (the bombers are out of sight). Otherwise, if I want to see my neighbors, I stand in the doorway. ;-)
9. Do you live within 5 miles of a lake? Let me check...uh, yeah, less than a mile as the crow flies. (Eye-rolling with a headache = bad)
10. Do you believe that personality is everything? Nope. Honor, kindness, self-esteem...
11. When someone says they love you, do you naturally want to say it back, even if you don't mean it? There is that social pressure, yes.
12. Do you have any real reason to be depressed? Uh, that would be affirmative.
13. Do you have more respect for the United Nations or the United States? Right now, I'd give a slight edge to the UN. Check back with me in November to see if this will be changing.
14. Is it concieted [sic] to consider oneself unique? Only if you don't know the definition of "unique."
15. Would it fill your heart with joy to see other people crying for you? Seems rather juvenile to me. And, no.
16. Do you think the war in Iraq will end in 200[8]? Showing the age of this survey, and the sad fact that this war is out of control, the original date was 2005.
No.
17. Do you know anyone who has ever been held hostage? Only those who have held themselves hostage. (In all seriousness, I'm not sure this would come up in your average conversation until you knew someone well.)
18. If your teenage son impregnated a girl, would you force him to do whatever it took to support her? I would not force him to do anything. I would expect him to work out what the right thing to do is. And I really really hope that this is not going to happen.
19. Are angels creepy? "Creepy"? Scary as all get out? YESSIR!
20. Do you think the New England accent is annoying? I don't mind it. It amuses me a bit sometimes. I don't love the Boston version of it.
21. Which print do you prefer: leopard or zebra? Uh. I'd rather run into a zebra most of the time, but I like how the big cats carry themselves (away from me, preferably).
[Edit: just realized that this is not referring to the animals, just their fur. And I'm laughing because most people would say I prefer leopard. Also because of a "Changing Rooms" (BBC's original for our "Trading Spaces") that involved zebra print. In any case, I need to read more closely.]
22. Would you break up with someone if you thought they were too pompous and arrogant? If that was the main part of their personality, I doubt I would ever have gone out with them. Sadly, the person before me answered this way: "no i kind of like that." Sigh.
23. If you saw a hurt animal, would you try and help it? Depends on the animal in question. Generally, yes.
24. Do you think there will be another terrorist attack [if McCain is elected]? It could happen anytime, anywhere. (the original question asked about Bush's re-election)
25. Should a license be required to have children? Look, it's hard enough to police the drinking age; how the hell do you propose to police boinking?
26. When on an airplane, do you hope to meet someone interesting sitting near you? I just hope they are relatively nice, not too chatty, and average in size.
27. Do you come from a large family? Define those terms!
28. Would you ever purposely let your country's flag touch the ground? Not purposely. I have done it by accident through carelessness or lack of coordination.
29. Is it difficult for you to decline a date from someone you are not interested in? Not at all.
30. Are people in online relationships just fooling themselves? Not any more than people in offline relationships.
31. Does it bother you that Rhode Island isn't really an island? It's not on my top thousand things to worry about, no. The name apparently has little to do with the English word "island" anyway.
32. If Hillary Clinton were to leave her husband, would your opinion on her go up or down? Well, I'd be tempted to send her flowers with a card saying "what took you so long?!" but ultimately their relationship is their own (and no one else's) business.
33. Do you ever run with scissors? Only when I'm in a hurry.
34. Have you done something illegal today? Did a little speeding on the trips to and from work. There was a gliding stop at a stop sign too. I'm clearly Most Wanted around here.
35. Which is worse: Being labeled, or being a nobody? OMG--what if I were labelled a nobody. CBA.
36. Do you think someone will ever try to assassinate Michael Moore? I'm sure he's had multiple death threats. I wouldn't otherwise want to comment on this at all.
37. What song are you listening to at this very second? (If you aren't listening to anything, turn on the radio.) Olympic 10-meter diving: the sound o' splashes.
38. Would you rather have a square or a round pizza? I'm pretty sure the shape doesn't usually affect the taste, which is what I'm more interested in.
39. Are you afraid of being famous for doing something stupid? Not at all. It's the only likely way of my becoming famous, after all!
40. If the Pope has a liver transplant, is he still infallible? I don't think the liver is the seat of thought, which is what infallibility deals with. Stupid.Question.
41. Has the world really changed that much since 9/11? Absolutely.
42. Do you think the Diary of Anne Frank is genuine? Who are the morons who think it isn't? The same morons who think that Auschwitz was a movie set?
43. If your best friend's partner was bisexual, would you approve? Not my marriage, not my call. I would hope my friend wasn't going to be hurt, and I'd be there for her regardless, but beyond that....
44. If Satan walked up to you on the street and offered you BBQ Chicken, would you accept his gift? Not a BBQ fan. If he offers me cookies, I'm done, though.
45. Would you say that your country is liked by the rest of the world? In general, I would say most people want to like us, but we sure don't make it easy.
46. Do you feel like the majority of the world is ignorant? Boy, I'm loving these generalizations.... No. I think the person who wrote this survey has ignorant-tendencies.
47. Do you help control anger by writing songs, poems, etc.? Just blog posts, in prose.
48. Do you view bandanas as gang symbols? I think bandanas have been coopted by gangs...but I still wear mine around the house. I have about 5 different-colored ones.
49. Do you need to "clean up your act"? Sure.
50. Do you have a celebrity crush? There are some awfully attractive famous men in this world, aren't there?
51. Are you a good storyteller? Yes, unless I'm being overly intense about them.
52. Are your computer speakers usually turned on? On this computer, usually not. I don't have speakers at work, just headphones.
53. Do you have a life dream that no one else knows about? Yup. I'm not sure I've fully formulated it, either.
54. Do puppies melt your heart? Almost every baby mammal does that.
55. Do you think that someone who doesn't drink alcohol AT ALL is weird? No. Not any stranger than people who don't eat cheese AT ALL.
56. Are you a racist scumbag? I'm not a scumbag. I'm not very racist, but I do catch myself thinking/saying things that I realize are stupid.
57. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You have SUCCEEDED as a failure!!! AWESOME! (previous response: "i don't get this")
58. Do you think Americans are scared of change? I think all humans are nervous about change.
59. Are vegan diets healthy? ...I think anyone who is careful about how they eat is likely to be
60. Do you enjoy watching shows that deal with forensics? Yes.
61. At this rate, are you going to Heaven or Hell? I don't believe in hell in terms of "going to."
62. Could there be a terrorist attack in your area? It could happen anywhere. It all depends on what we call it anyway. "Going postal" is just another form of terrorism, isn't it? So is child abuse, home invasion, school bullying....
63. Do you worry about food safety? Look. If I worried about everything the media told me to worry about, I'd be completely unable to function. More than I already I am, I mean.
64. Can bitchy behavior be self-justified? Sure. In fact, isn't it usually self-justified??????!
65. Do you have over 100 people on your buddy list? No.
66. Do you relax when you are around animals? Not really; I'm either allergic or worried about assault. ;-)
67. Would you like to be able to read thoughts? Good heavens: NO!
68. In your opinion, is it wrong to say "Oh my God!"? I do think you should be on generally good speaking terms with God to yell at him this way all the time.
69. Do you like your strawberries dipped in chocolate or covered in sugar? SUGAR! Chocolate kind of ruins them for me.
70. Do you think any hip hop songs have good messages in them? Sure. I can think of several musicians immediately who have almost universally positive messages.
71. Do you feel sorry for Martha Stewart? No. Of all the people in the world to feel ANYthing for.... No.
72. Do certain swear words just roll of your tongue? Fuck yeah!
73. What hurts more, knife cuts or paper cuts? Neither hurt a lot when they happen, but the knife ones hurt sooner.
74. When you hug someone, do you wrap your arms around their neck or their waist? There aren't many people I can actually hug around the waist--I'm too tall. [Edit: It occurs to me upon reflection that I do hug people around the waist if I don't know them well, or if it's a side-by-side hug. I just don't think about this deeply enough. Obviously.]
75. Do you use your mind enough? How much is enough? I think so. Why? What have you heard??
76. Would you rather own a parrot or a hen? A hen: eggs, and eventually, fried chicken.
77. Do you know anyone who has been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? I believe so.
78. Do you have any idea what you will be doing 10 years from now? Working. Volunteering, NOT at church!
79. Do you pre-plan your meals? Ha ha ha ha ha---gahh. I do Dinner by Design and then totally forget everything.
80. Pet owners: If your pet was a human, would it be gay or straight? I know Buddy is straight--he was all over Clarice--hence baby guinea pigs. Ruka--who knows? He's never been around a girl in this house. He doesn't seem to be too hot for Buddy, though.
81. Would you like to be cloned? No. For why, read House of the Scorpion.
82. Do you believe that your name fits your personality? Black Flower of Death? Yeah, I hope not.
83. Were your parents born in the same decade? No, but only because Dad was born in a year ending in 9 and Mom two years later.
84. Do you exercise before you eat in the morning? Not with intent.
85. Were you a proud owner of a snap bracelet? Nope.
86. Is it better to be single or in a relationship? Depends on the relationship.
87. Do you think police officers have the right to use a stun gun on a 13-year old? If dude was threatening them, yes.
88. Which is the better way to discipline a child: They need to totally know that you're in charge and reasonable, and love them deeply. Otherwise, read the books--I'm not going to run down the whole thing.
89. Would you let your child spend the night at Michael Jackson's house? Where is he living now? Africa? But, no.
Last I heard, Neverland was vacant and on the market. Any updates on that?
90. Do you often forget what day it is? Yes, especially lately.
91. Do your grandparents play bingo a lot? Huh, not so much. As in NEVER when they were alive, and certainly not now.
92. Do you own a copy of Thriller by Michael Jackson? We have the album.
93. Do you prefer reading or writing? I'm about even, I guess.
94. Do you prefer hamsters or gerbils? Never really dealt with a gerbil. Hammies are cute, though.
95. Do you think animals have a religion? I don't think they need one; I think they are naturally closer to God.
96. Are you a powerful person? I have my moments.
97. Do you think marriage would change who you are? It has, undoubtedly, done so.
98. Do you meddle in other peoples’ business? I try hard not to.
99. Do you think the teenagers who take abstinence vows are probably the ones that weren’t going to have sex in the first place? No. I think research has proven that many of them have sex sooner than they would have otherwise.
100. Are you ever attracted to your teachers? I have only crushed on a couple of teachers in my life.
101. Do you think your parents have always been faithful to each other? I don't even want to think about this....
102. Does the word "hello" seem formal to you? It IS more formal, but I use it, along with "hi" and "hiya" among other greetings.
103. Do you think that schools should be allowed to ban un-natural colored hair? I think schools should be allowed to do whatever it takes to teach kids (except for directly physical harm of course!). If that means uniforms or banning certain fashion trends, yes.
104. Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time? Huh. Yes. After all, as so many people have pointed out, the opposite of love isn't hate. The opposite of love is indifference.
105. Do your eyes change colors from time to time? I **lurve** my hazel eyes.
106. When you sit really still, can you feel your pulse? Yup. I can hear my heartbeat sometimes, too.
107. Does cursive handwriting serve any real purpose nowadays? Sure. And WTF....
108. Have you ever had melted cheese on your fries? Sounds lovely. Don't think I have, no.
109. Have you ever encountered a rude person in a wheelchair? Ever been to a nursing home? Or a rehab center? Yes, of course. Being in a chair doesn't make you a saint.
110. Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Not often, but sometimes.
111. Has your home been decorated by an interior designer? Just me and Beast.
112. Do you believe in reincarnation? No.
113. Do you think the government was involved in 9/11? Define your terms. On the surface, directly, no. As a result of inaction and lack of awareness, yes.
114. Would you ever kiss someone with no teeth? Uh, elderly relatives, I think, yeah.
115. Do you wash your hair every day? Nope. I can now go three days before I just feel like I need to do something with it. Ahhh, middle age! And lack of 'product.'
116. If we keep making exceptions for homosexuals, do you think the next generation of homosexuals will be spoiled brats? WHAT THE FUCK!? If I ever meet the person who wrote this, I'm going to shove metal slivers under their fingernails.
117. Can experience be gained just by reading? Major league!!
118. Do you have any gay friends? Yup.
119. Have you ever been to Stonehenge? No.
120. Do you consider darts to be a sport? It's a game. I'm not sure I'll give it "sporthood."
121. Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? MUCH more likely to have received than given, but I don't remember either causing or receiving one.
122. Is it always better to be safe than sorry? No. Sometimes you just have to try.
123. Do you look more at someone’s mouth or eyes when they are talking to you? Mouth. Years of living with a deaf person.
124. If you were around second-hand-smoke enough, would you be swayed to smoke yourself? No. I'm allergic to smoke and hate the whole concept anyway.
125. Do you think anyone can be an actor? There are not enough downers in the world to remove the inhibitions from some people.
126. Okay, what song are you listening to now? Just watched Usein Bolt break the world record.
127. Do you talk just to hear yourself, even when you’re alone? I hope I do that more when I'm alone than when I'm not!
128. Do you think you’ll ever visit the Clinton Library? I do like the architecture, but I don't anticipate making an effort to visit ANY presidential library.
129. Do you emotionally hurt people on purpose? In the heat of the moment, I know I've said a few hurtful things over the years.
130. Would you date a minister? Were I single, yes.
131. On vacation, do you usually take more pictures of landscapes or buildings? Landscapes.
132. Do you think pit bulls should be illegal to own? No. Having said that, I'm slightly dismayed that there are two pit puppies living across the street from me. now.
133. Are your parents willing to help you through college? They did. Couldn't have gotten my undergrad without them.
134. Is it obvious that one of your family members did drugs in the sixties? I know at least one sister and my brother did in the late 60s and early 70s. In terms of snarkiness...no, it's not actually obvious.
135. Do you think people worry too much about being open-minded? Not around here they don't. People around this area seem to revel in their close-mindedness.
136. Are you offended when you see a visitor in your country wearing a crest of their flag? Do I give a flying fuck? No.
137. Would you rather master one language, or learn two languages and be average in them both? I'd rather be conversant in several, but not at the expense of mastering one.
138. Do you think that Jesus was just a magician? "Just"? No.
139. Should 'freak dancing' be banned from school dances? Good luck with that.
140. If Fox created a sitcom starring Jennifer Lopez, would you watch it? The only thing I would watch her do is leave. The room, the country, the public sphere.
141. Is your monthly cycle so regular that you always know which day you’re going to start? When I had one, it was very irregular unless I was on the pill.
142. Girls: Do you care that when you cry, your mascara runs? Don't wear mascara.
143. Guys: Do you get all soft when you see a girl crying? [Edit: I was too busy giggling to answer this...I'm still giggling, but I can at least type now]
144. Do you think baseball is a dying professional sport in America? I couldn't possibly care less, unless "less" involves Martha Stewart or Jennifer Lopez.
145. Should America get rid of the electoral college? I think it needs reworking at least.
146. Can Lindsay Lohan really sing? Sure. Should she be famous for it? Probably not.
147. Are you more creative alone, or with others? Depends on the subject in question.
148. Does every family have a crazy uncle, or is it just mine? I barely ever knew my uncles. I have a stupid/crazy bro-in-law, to make up for the lack of crazy uncles, I guess.
149. Do you like green bean casserole? Yum, slurp.
150. Have you ever smuggled anything in to America? Not intentionally, not that I'm aware of.
151. Do you like to play dominos? I love dominoes. Never get to play 'em anymore. That's how Sparky learned his numbers. ;-)
152. Do you end up making a fool of yourself when you try flirting with someone you really like? I don't flirt.
153. Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? Only if he does it well.
154. Do brain teasers make you feel dumb? Sometimes. But only the ones I can't figure out.
155. Did you ever have an Easy Bake Oven? Yes. Cooking By Lightbulb. Hysterical.
156. Do you enjoy fishing? I can think of several things I'd rather do.
157. Do you think the Egyptians could have used wind to build the Pyramids? Yeah, have a little more of that white powder, punk. (No.)
158. Beef or pork? Beef. Or bacon.
159. Was this survey random enough for you? Actually, in spite of my snark, the questions were pretty well outside the normal blah-blah variety.
160. Is this the longest random survey you’ve ever taken? Nope.
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