1. If I were a tree I would be a Douglas fir because they are tall, strong, evergreen...and dying out.
2. If I were a bird I would fly over the White House, and poop in a timely manner.
3. If I were a book I hope I would be well-written, grammatically proficient, and edited.
4. If I were a car I'd be a jeep for similar reasons to for those given in #1.
5. If I could get rid of one piece of technology it would definitely be secret surveillance equipment because I don't like sneaks.
6. If I could get rid of one bad habit at a snap of the fingers it would be , ironically, biting my nails.
7. And as for the weekend,
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