3x Thursday

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Putting Up With It

1. There is crap to put up with in every family. How much do you put up with? At what point do you stop putting up with it? What do you do to resolve it?

I moved across the country in part to escape my mom...in college. We've never gotten along great, and now the guilt is absolutely huge. But we all (i.e., the kids) left and went away. I find that it's much easier to deal with my family from far away, by phone. I'm a great phone actress. When I can't deal with family members, I simply don't call (there's a lot of not-calling, believe me). I vent a lot to friends, too. And then I chalk it up to "you can't choose your family" and try to be grateful for the small goodnesses.
Having said all this, my family isn't that bad, just annoying as hell.

2. What about with your boyfriend/girlfriend? How do you know when to say 'enough is enough'? How does that usually end?

I've broken up with two boyfriends in my life, and others have just drifted apart. No giant trauma. When I got married, I really did make some promises to Beast, and to myself and God, about this being a permanent relationship and commitment. We work through our problems to the best of our abilities, which hasn't always been pretty (I am a member of that annoying family, after all!), and...so far, so good.
On the other hand, if I found out he was having an affair, or gambling away our money, or otherwise breaking trust with me, I'm not sure I'd be able to stay with him. He knows that. And I know the same applies to his feelings about me.

3. We all need our jobs, but do you put up with much stuff at your job? If it gets to be too much, do you say something? *Can* you say something?

When I stopped having to deal with PsychoBoss 12 years ago, I promised myself that I would never put myself in that situation again. I have been fortunate since then not to have to make that call: my current boss is wonderful!
I have a reputation at my current job of being...uhm...opinionated? Vociferous? Well, certainly, I have flipped out in fury enough (3 or 4 times over 10 years) that people know I have a temper. I absolutely do stand up for myself (thank you, PsychoBoss), especially when others are involved. In other words, I'm more likely to stand up if others are being hurt (along with me or separate from me). It's one of the things I actually don't want to change about myself: that I have a big mouth. I just sometimes wish I could use it more effectively.