Monday's a Bitch

[and so are these questions!!]

It's Called a Break-Up Because It's Broken

In the following questions, "break-up" can refer to either the end of a romantic relationship, or of a close friendship.

1. After a hard break-up, do you tend to hold on to photos and other things that remind you of the past relationship, or do you destroy all mementos as a sort of coping experience?

I keep most photos, if they are objectively good photos, pretty much regardless of the subject matter. "Other things"--kind of depends on whether they are useful. If, every time I put on a piece of jewelry, or use a certain gadget, I'm likely to think about the horrible END of the relationship, I'd probably pitch it. If, however, using the item reminds me of the relationship itself, I'd be more likely to keep it.
On the other hand, I might temporarily put everything related to that person away for a few weeks as a coping mechanism....

2. After a horrible break-up, wherein you feel someone's done you wrong, do you tend to let it slide and move on, or search out some revenge? Any stories you'd care to share?

No revenge for me, at least no plotted revenge. I might trash talk for quite some time, however. I just don't have the staying power of deep hatred in most cases.

3. Have you ever broken up with someone, only to wind up dating them again, or becoming friends with them again? Did this happen because one of you or something about the relationship changed? Or were you not meant to break-up in the first place?

I've broken up (more or less) with two guys only to end up going out with them again. One time we pretty much just ended up "dating" as friends for awhile a few months down the road. The other one...I can't seem to get rid of: I married him.

4. Do you take the time to learn from your mistakes in different relationships and friendships after they end, or do you move on as fast as possible?

Both. I move on, but I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what went wrong. Mostly, I worry about what I did wrong. The good news is that this doesn't drive me as nuts as it used to. Things change, and sometimes we just need to go with the flow.

5. In your opinion, is trying to stay friends with a former romantic partner after a break-up a good idea or a bad idea?

I definitely don't think this is a one-size-fits-all question. I'd be likely to want to stay on at least cordial terms with people "from my past." Sometimes, however, it just isn't possible. For instance, if the other person was emotionally (or otherwise) abusive, I'd bag the whole thing and call it Lesson Learned.