Five on Friday

Father of Mine

1. What characteristics do you think are most important in a father figure?

I had a wonderful father, so I'm going to list a lot of his traits: kindness, sense of humor, responsibility, ability to go with the flow, patience, humility, teaching skills, forgiveness, desire to challenge and question, high standards.

Or, in a word: love.

2. Do you think you are, or will be, a good father? And for the ladies, do you think the men in your lives are, or will be, good fathers? Why?

Yes (what am I gonna say: Beast is a bad dad?!)

I think Sparky shows a great deal of potential in this area too, but I'm hoping he doesn't start practicing that potential for another decade or so.

3. How would you characterize your relationship with your father? What are the challenges, habits, or circumstances that make [made] it unique?

I was the youngest of five, so by the time I came along, Dad (and Mom) had made most of the really huge mistakes on my sisters and brother. They just wanted me to be quiet--which I was--and stay out of trouble--which I did.

It wasn't till after his death that I realized that my dad was a different guy than the dad my sisters grew up with. Mine was much more patient, much more willing to laugh at himself and at life, and less antagonistic toward having daughters. He was, overall, much more relaxed. Dad counted on me to help him in his projects, to know what he needed in terms of tools or physical assistance. He took for granted that I was strong enough to work as hard as he did.

Because he was 44 when I was born, I mostly knew him as an "old guy" so we rarely did anything like skating or sledding together, but I got the benefit of his experience and the stories of my siblings' childhoods to serve as teaching tools. I never really felt cheated by Dad's age like I did about my mom's age; at least I didn't feel cheated until he died when I was 31.

4. What is your fondest memory of your grandfather?

My mother's dad died in 1946, 17 years before I was born.

My dad's dad died in 1967, when I was 3. The only memory I think I have of Grandpa is of sitting on a bench with him in the side yard of his house.

5. Would you ever honor the men in your family by naming your children after them? Why or why not?

I actually did name my son after both of his grandfathers. I wanted to name him after my brother, but his initials would have caused him to be the butt of jokes.

With the exception of my husband's side (his father, Beast, and Sparky all have the same first name), there are no 'repeats' in my family. Right now, one niece is dating someone who shares Beast's name, so--although I'm sure he's a nice guy and all--I hope they don't end up getting married. Too confusing! :-)