Friday 5

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Food Television

1. If a traveling food show were to visit your neighborhood, what are some unique, regional foods it would spotlight, and where would it go to get them?

Brats. Beer. Corn. Chili (in the winter). Turkey Testicles. Yeah. Go figure.

2. On an American cable show, a celebrity chef surprises people by challenging them to a contest featuring their own specialties (he usually loses). If he challenged you to your specialty, what dish would you prepare? If he challenged someone you know, what would that dish be, and how might the competition turn out?

Here's the deal: If some weirdo showed up and 'challenged' me to cook, I'd 'challenge' him right back to hit the road before I call the police. I don't do competitive cooking, thanks. I cook strictly to eat.

3. What are your feelings about cooking shows on television?

CBA. Or, in American terms, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever watch them. Have not, do not, will not. Yuck.

4. What kitchen gadgets have you purchased because you saw someone using them on television?

I haven't done this for years, and when I did it was on short infomercials, not actual TV shows. Hello, Ron Popeil. ;-)

5.You get to (or have to, depending on how you feel about it) host your own food show on television. What will it be called and what’s it about?

...why, exactly, am I doing this meme?

I wouldn't do this. I find these shows to be extraordinarily retarded; I don't even watch the cooking segments on shows like "Today." Watching someone throw food around and then producing--voilà!--an already-finished dish that was cooked ahead of time (thus wasting the food that was being thrown around at the beginning)...ugh.

So my show would, I'm afraid, be called "Cat. Calls for Za" and feature me speed-dialing. Short and sweet.

I really have to apologize for being so snarky. The point one should probably take from my answers is that I am not a gourmand, and I don't like to cook. If I can buy it pre-made and make sure it's relatively healthy, or if I can make it in less than 10 minutes--well, that's the sort of cooking I (mostly) do.