...a long distance out of the way...

(Swiped from Amy)

What's the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?

A version of "not my circus, not my monkeys" that involved snakes about 10 years ago. I have to re-hear it regularly as I'm prone in sticking my nose into things it would be better off out of. [Grammar is my friend...]

If a loved one was to serenade you, what song would you most like them to sing?

Whatever song they'd like. However, I must stipulate that they can at least bring a bucket in which to carry a tune in. Beast can't sing at all, and Sparky isn't quite there yet either.

Would you ever let your parents pick out a partner for you?

Nope, and it's too late now. And they wouldn't've anyway. I'm more likely to listen to their advice as I get older, however, which is somewhat ironic now that I can't.

Michelangelo's David...masterpiece or filth?

"Filth" because he's naked? Please, get over your penis-phobia! And it's an amazing work of art. I will never forget my first sight of it in the Accademia in 1985. Astounding, jaw-dropping, un-fucking-believable.

Do you like other people buying you clothes?

Depends on the article of clothing. Sometimes its spot on, something I love and will wear. More often it's weird or the wrong size. My mom, funnily enough, chose good things for me even after multiple strokes until she stopped shopping because ... stuff got hard. No one else has matched her prowess. :'(

What one device would you want to see added to a mobile phone?

I just got a new phone and I can't think of a thing it doesn't have, except a "louder" (i.e., more noticeable) vibrate feature. I guess I'll just have to turn up the volume and annoy my coworkers with sounds.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years' time?

I'll be nearly 62. Probably still at least 5 years from full-benefits retirement, as they've raised the age for state employment vestment to 67. I hope I can make it that long. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if/when I retire. Maybe I'll have grandkids, or at least a daughter-in-law, by then? I'm not holding my break. I love Sparky to death, but right now he's a bit of a know-it-all/spaz.

Do your dreams ever tell you to do anything?

Not really in the sense of ordering me around. My dreams often 'reinterpret' what's been going on in my waking life and help me sort out the important stuff. Or just point out the Tragically Weird. And often I wake up thinking, "Why in hell was I obsessing all night about (this week) making sure Sparky gets a checking account??" Which we did this morning.

Have you ever been to an Art gallery?

Uhm, yes. Of course. There was one on my college campus, right by the dining room. Many libraries I've been in have had small galleries attached. Mine does, now, for instance. Starbucks even has gallery space to rent! And of course museums too. Endless hallways inside the Vatican come to mind, full of so much art it seems almost obscene that what we're seeing is "just the good stuff." And some Native galleries in various locales...Vegas, Arizona, Minnesota.

Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows?

I've been known to mutter. And occasionally, when contestants are ridiculously dumb, I have shouted. I don't watch too many of them anymore, though.

Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team?

Probably, but since I don't hang out in pubs, or anyplace where there's regular trivia contests it's not been a thing. No one I know is willing to play Trivial Pursuit with me anymore, though, even the smarty-smart people of my acquaintance. Sad face.

If you could bankrupt one person or company who would it be?

Weapons manufacturers and dealers. This song is a bit extreme, but the gist of it works for me.

If you could steal one thing without consequence what would it be?

Babies for snuggles. Until they start doing the stinky-screamy thing and then they go right back to their parents.
Something I'd steal and keep? Maybe all the handguns in the world...and throw them into an active volcano.