From Amy

...who is here when she's at home

I.

When you wash your hands, do you use the cold or hot tap?

I turn ON the hot tap but usually don't wait long enough for the hot to show up. Washing my hands in cold water seems stupid, but for ten years at work we didn't have a functional water heater, so...cold it was.

If you had to be straight/gay for a day (whichever you’re currently not!), what celebrity would you most like to take on a date?

Wait up here! Why would I be taking a celebrity on a date?? Wouldn't they be paying? WTF. I'd totally date Melissa Etheridge! ;-)

What is the biggest injury you’ve ever sustained and how did you do it?

The most injured I've ever been from external events (i.e., not brought about by disease or illness) was probably when I fell running out the back door and tore open my knee on the weather-stripping at the bottom of the jamb. I was probably 8. It ripped about 1/4" of skin off at least a couple of layers down and I got 10 minutes to cry, a bandaid, and then dinner as usual. No stitches.

The sickest I've felt was when I had walking pneumonia when I was about 10. I was wildly out of things for a week at least, slept endlessly, felt like painless death the whole time my sister Ellen and her husband Dean were visiting. I was sleeping in the basement so they could have my room, and I was on the rollaway probably 18 hours a day. Thank you codeine. I must have been sick--Mom never let me stay in bed for illness.

What is the most unusual food you’ve ever eaten?

There were a lot of things overseas that don't bear too much inquiry. Nothing killed me, obviously, and the less I know about what constituted it, the better.
To name specifics: miniature fish (bones, head, eyes and all) salted and brined, weird little sweet Frito-ey-looking things, probably kefir, caviar (who the HELL thought this was a good idea??), random baked fruit item served on an forearm's-length dirty, rusty but sharp knife, "that" (in Greek tavernas where you point at what you want to eat).... WAY too much booze served in questionably-clean glass- and plastic-ware.

What is the most unique animal you’ve ever touched?

I'm trying to remember if I actually touched any of the camels I've seen. Actually, I think I did touch one at the rescue place north of here. Otherwise, it's probably a hedgehog or something at a petting zoo.

What’s the most expensive gift you’ve ever bought for someone? How much did it cost and who was it for?

I have no idea. Probably something techy. We got Sparky a laptop for high school graduation, but I'm not sure that counts exactly. Incidentally, he has already turned down a new computer upon completing college. Yes, turned down because he's already saving to buy his own. Weird kid. :) But I've gotten Beast expensive stuff over the years too. It's really not about the price, it's about what makes them happy and what they need/want. To be honest, the most expensive gift I'm giving is a college education.
And don't get me started on "expensive" meaning something besides finances....because that's a completely different list!

Which 3 countries would you LEAST like to live in and why?

I'm sticking to places that are realistic options. France is right out. The Philippines too. And Japan. Though, heading back to that previous question, Sparky did say that he would "love" to go to Japan on a trip, so that might be an option for a graduation gift....

If you could make just ONE change to this world, what would it be and why?

I would love to see ALL GUNS and bombs disappear. Or maybe just all bullets, and bullet-making knowledge and equipment. Whatever. Sort of a Rapture for killing machines.

Why?

If I have to explain this, you are probably not amenable to the reasons I'd list, so I'll just move on.

If you could wake up tomorrow and be fluent in 3 additional languages, which would you choose?

Greek, Russian, Italian. And frankly, I'd take being able to read ancient Greek.

Which would you rather out of these 3 options?
A: Be good looking and extremely intelligent but so poor you live on the streets.
B: Be extremely intelligent and a millionaire but what society classes as ugly.
C: Be good looking and a millionaire but extremely academically challenged? Why?

If everything else stayed the same--if I knew that I had lost my intellect, for instance--I'd stick with B. I'm becoming an agoraphobe anyway, even though I'm still working on my first million and I'm not "extremely intelligent." But as I know someone who scrambled himself with a TBI, I would never want to become less intelligent and remember being smarter. Shades of Travels With Charley and all. And I don't care a fig about being beautiful. That just seems like more of a curse than a blessing.

What are the top 10 movies to make you cry? (Or at least make you sad!)

I'm pretty sure I've cried watching every movie I've ever watched, except "Snow Dogs" and maybe some comedies. The memorable ones:

• "Oliver!" -- I was carried out shrieking in fear of Mr. Bumble
• "Ben Hur"--the chariot race is terrifying
• "Dr. Zhivago"--because it's so beautiful and sad even though I had no idea what the hell was going on the first time I saw it
• "Paint Your Wagon"--because that pretty lady had to marry that awful, ugly, old man.
• "Fiddler on the Roof" and "The Sound of Music"--because they had to LLLLLLEEEEEEEEEVE their homes!
• "Platoon"--dude, even the vets sitting around me in the packed theater were weeping!
• "Good Morning, Vietnam"--...is not a comedy
• "The Piano"--well, really, it's engineered that way, no?
• "Thelma & Louise"--because sometimes flying off a cliff with your best friend is the only rational option. I've been there.
• "Field of Dreams"--if you don't cry in this movie, you aren't American! I don't even LIKE baseball.

What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? Describe it in detail.

In fairly short order as a child, I dreamed about living through a volcanic eruption--watching lava drip from the frame of the garage door as mom and I stood inside the garage--and dreaming I had spiders crawling out of my eyes. No stress in my life as a child, eh?

Would you rather raise 25 children or have the chance of ever having children taken away? Why?

I like children a lot, but I would never want to be responsible for 25 of them. Even assuming a couple of multiples--which emphatically do not run in my family!--that's nearly 50 years of having school-aged child in my house. I didn't even want 2 kids. So, I'll just be the Cool Auntie to my siblings' kids. Which I pretty much was for most of my nephews' and nieces' childhoods (according to them, anyway). And I can volunteer and work with dozens of kids, which I've also done and continue to do, but send them all home to their parents at the end!

Would you rather go on a relaxing beach type holiday to the Caribbean, a cultural holiday to Japan or an adventure packed holiday to South Africa?

Wherever we go, it must be warm and preferably non-humid. I think I'd prefer South Africa overall.

If you went to a desert island for just 6 months but could only take one album with you, what would you take?

Do I get to take a record-player too? /snark
If it's all the same to you, I'd really rather just have the internet and my Spotify lists.

Put these in order of your favourite movie genre to least: Horror, action, thriller, adventure, superhero, romance, drama, comedy, musical and dance?

1. musical
2. comedy
3. drama
4. action
5. dance
6. romance
7. thriller
8. superhero
9. adventure
10. horror

There's some wiggle room in the middle, but the first two and the last one are solid.

If you had to lose one of the 5 senses, which would you choose and why?

Seeing as how my vision has been fading fast for lo these last 40 years, I'm jealously guarding that. Same with hearing. It would probably be good if I lost my taste buds, because perhaps I'd eat less.

What have been the top 3 most brilliant days of this year? Describe them in as much or as little detail as you like.

The days that my family and friends have had (healthy) babies. So far there are three, but I understand there are some others on the way.

What do you believe we as human beings take most for granted in this world?

The overwhelming goodness and ease that we expect to happen every day, which often does happen every day for so many of us, but that is in short supply in so many places and for so many people around us. We only notice when it's gone.

How many concerts have you been to in your life and which was your favourite? If you’ve not been to one, who would you most like to see?

The last U2 concert (two years ago? ish) was outstanding, from opening act all the way through the encore. It was outside, near a large body of water, and we could watch the stars, the boats, the fireworks, and the planes flying overhead. Also could smell the pot the guys behind us were smoking so that was awesome. And the opening act was stellar.

There've been other good concerts, but that was by far the most outstanding.

II.

My body is... not in the same condition it was 30 years ago. I never thought I wouldn't be skinny. Welp, that's another misconception I've had to recognize.

I love it when...I don't have anything on the schedule after working all day.

I think it's hilarious when...I meet other people with the same idiosyncrasies as mine. I am not alone!

In my house, we...always seem to have the TV on.

After I eat I always...wash my hands (and often my shirt). I'm not tidy.

I try to eat healthy except...when something unhealthy tastes better. So, yeah, never.

If I could only see...my Dad. So many times I'd like to have (had) his advice and steady support in the past 20 years. And I know he and Sparky would have been great buds.

The last time...I cooked something from scratch was last weekend.

I saw this weird thing yesterday and it...was me trying to stay awake. So tired. So crabby. So internalized.

Sex is like...nothing else in the world. And probably the most confounding method of reproduction all around.

Romance is...for the birds. Or at least, not for me.

When my favorite song comes on, I...sing along.

The last time I went to the store I saw...the two most annoying people in my way in virtually every aisle. Like mother, like daughter, and never was their cart anywhere but the absolute CENTER of the aisle. Stopped. Or backing up, into me.

When he kissed me I felt...surprised.

After I ripped his shirt off, I...threw it on the floor. Because that's where clothes live.

Last night, I...played Endless 2048 (as in, a grid of 8x8) and fell asleep in bed reading.

My favorite outfit...is evolving from jeans and T-shirt to elastic-waisted pants and T-shirts.

Winnie the Pooh is...annoying. Pooh is. I adore Eeyore and Piglet and Owl. Even Kanga.

I will never, ever...be able to tell directions as well as Beast does.

I got locked out of my house and I...ended up being shoved indecorously through the dining room window after Beast jimmied it open far enough. Thank God it was dark and none of the neighbors noticed.

The best cure...is often the most painful.

If I ever thought about...planning for my future, I got frustrated because I just don't know how to do this. In school, I hated goal-setting exercises, and 5-year-plans, and everything like that.

My dentist...looks like a young George Hamilton, and is stupendously nice. I've been very lucky with my dental professionals over the years.

Makeup is for...people with more time and patience than I have.

If I ever catch...Pandora (she of the Box), I will throttle her.

Before I go to bed...I need to catch up GoodReads with all the books I've finished in the last two weeks.

Last year on my birthday...I was just trying to hang on. I literally have no memory of what we might have done. And that just bites, seeing as how it was a pretty BIG number-ending-in-zero. I've spent a lot of time playing second fiddle around here this year.

Once, when it was really...busy at work, I had about 8 people in line and felt like one of those diner waitresses spinning plates from shelf to table and filling water glasses and so forth. Except I was answering questions, explaining the printer, and telling people where the bathrooms are.

Someone help me, because...I'm about to drop this!

My very best...efforts no longer seem good enough to people who matter.

I use soap...rarely at home--we have squirty gel stuff everywhere--and everywhere possible in public places.

Every time I try to...make progress, I slide backwards again.

I woke up in the middle of...the night last night. Again. As I have done basically every night since about February.

Someone once told me...that I walk(ed?) with confidence, at a time when I wasn't feeling very confident. It was an early message of "fake it till you make it" that I've taken to heart.

III.

My name is: unusual in this part of the country, but not original. It's only phonetic.

I am: buried in old mail and magazines and clutter I need to sort through and deal with by Tuesday.

Right now, I feel: sleepy (as usual) and guilty.

The sounds I hear are: the Argentinian fans cheering and the sportscasters nearly having aneurysms because of this soccer match.

Around me, I see: stuff that needs cleaning up and putting away.

I feel most connected to this person: either Beast or Sparky.

I think it's weird that:  the one person at work that I've been struggling the most with is the one person at work who shares my sense of humor the most.

It bothers me when: I notice how personally I take behavior and events going on around me.

The best thing about my personality is: when I'm not paying attention to being "good."

My worst quality is: probably exactly the same thing.

My favorite part about life is: discovery. I love learning things, everything from random factoids to what makes people behave the way they do.

This is attractive in the opposite sex: humility.

Sometimes, I wonder about:  how my parents got to be the people they were.

I usually get bored while: watching TV, which is why I'm almost always doing something else when it's on.

I'm afraid: that something bad will happen to someone I love. It seems likely--I love a lot of people.

If someone hates me, I: take a lot less time getting to "oh who cares" than I used to.

I admire: calm and thoughtful wisdom.

I wish: I could keep my mouth shut. Damn.

I feel exhilarated when: I accomplish something hard.

I appreciate: kindness.

I'll never get over: having to come to terms with the immediacy of death at such a young age.

The best thing to happen this week was: seeing Beast Friday night after another long, busy week.

I feel good when: good things, even amazing things, happen to those I love.

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be: no one is more important than someone else. No. One.

Some people are just so: predictable.

I'm optimistic about: Sparky's future. Well, vaguely optimistic. I think he's a great guy, though I don't know how he'll handle job hunting next summer.

An event like this would enchant me: becoming mother-in-law to a really wonderful woman that I don't have to force myself to like "for Sparky's sake."

I yearn for: peace. (Also, why does that look/sound so odd: "yearn for"? I mean, what else would you say? But it looks weird)

I'm jealous of:no one. There are a few people I envy, but I don't really suffer from jealousy too often.

I trust: almost no one. And of all of my relatives, there aren't any I feel I could call in a real pinch.

My intuition is usually: pretty accurate. Wish I paid more attention to it!

One time, I spontaneously: threw a bunch of drunk people's garbage back at them.

I haven't had this feeling in a long time: total panic.

I am proud of: Beast. And me. This has been, if I haven't mentioned it, a really, really hard year.

I would never be seen wearing: an outfit that cost me more than a days' pay.

The strangest dream I ever had was: ...considering those two I talked about above have stuck with me for almost 40 years....

I am annoyed because: I haven't gotten a damn thing done today.

I feel most beautiful when: I'm happy.

I couldn't care less about: mean people's opinions.

My favorite kind of movie is: comedy or musical.

I often get distracted by: the Internet.

I am eager to: never have to fill out another FAFSA!!

I'm glad that: someone finally scored in this tedious, endless game. (FIFA final.)

I feel guilty about: ...aside from simply everything?

This really hurts: my tailbone, where I fell on it... in m--- -f---ing MARCH!

I've finally made peace with: the idea that paybacks aren't going to happen, and that's probably a good thing!

I'm most talkative around: people who I'm nervous around. I'm a nervous chatterer.

I was so embarrassed when: I burst into tears again in my boss's office this week. Damnit, I'm 50 years old and still crying when I get upset.

One feeling I hate is: being unable to control my emotions better.

One feeling I love is: being 100% in the moment and unself-conscious.