W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Somewhere a duck is watching you reward yourself

1) A magazine, newspaper, or website just offered to give you your own advice column. In what area of life do you advise people, and what is your column called?

Hell, no. I'm NOT doing this. I hate advice, both giving and taking.

2) If your favorite celebrity endorses a product, are you more likely to buy whatever it is?

Nope. I don't even understand how this works for people: because Brad Pitt has a Rolex, I should get one? Because Reese Witherspoon uses Revlon cosmetics, I'll look like her if I do too? Uh, really, are people this dumb?

3) In what way do you reward yourself for your accomplishments?

Usually involves food, unfortunately.... :-(

4) If you could only pick two of the following attributes to have -- being intelligent, good looking, or emotionally stable -- which two would you pick?

I can live without "good-looking."

5) On ABC Family's show "State of Georgia," a man is seen sliding down a department store's escalator while wearing lingerie. What is the weirdest thing you've seen in a store?

Nothing even close to that, I guess. Over twenty years ago, I was stunned when the clerk at a store in Milwaukee turned out to have full-on 80s-style Whoopee Goldberg dreads--and she was as Caucasian as me. But, that was a long time ago, and I work in a public library; very little surprises me anymore.

6) If you owned an airplane that can do skywriting, what message would it write across the sky today?

If I did it right now, no one would see it unless I used glow-in-the-dark 'ink.' I guess I'd probably be sappy and do something like "I LOVE BEASTY!" or something.

7) What is one of your favorite lines from a recent movie?

I can't think of the most recent movie I've seen. So I'll just say, "What is your DAMAGE, Veronica??" and be done.

8) Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you because of something you once did to a duck. Are you ever afraid that you're being watched?

Hah--you subscribe to the Somecards newsletter, don't you? lol Being watched doesn't bother me, not particularly. I've reached the age of invisibility anyway.

9) What are some things people should never do in public?

Pull down their pants. Really, for any reason.

10) What is something you've never seen in a vending machine that you wish you could buy out of one?

Time. NOT the magazine, actual time.