W.T.F.

(Link in meme-roll)
Whatcha wearin this Wednesday?

1) I keep hearing about some cell phone game called "Angry Birds." I've never played it, but I do know what it's like to deal with angry birds in my office's parking garage. Those things will viciously dive at your head. What do you think makes birds so angry?

I'd bet on people. They piss me off regularly, and I'm not even a bird!

2) You've been asked to house-sit for someone (a friend, coworker, family member, whomever else it may be). Do you go snooping throughout the house or do you totally respect their privacy?

I've learned my lesson the hard way: no snooping.

3) You turn on the news on your television and see the home you grew up in (or spent a large chuck [sic] of your childhood in) going down in flames. Are you sad that the house is on fire or happy that the house will no longer be standing?

Holy shit--my DAD built that house! Shit shit shit--I'd be a wreck. But don't things go "up in flames" not down?

4) Do you eat Oreos by taking them apart and licking out the cream first or do you bite right in? Do you dunk them in milk?

Generally I twist 'em apart. No milk.

5) Have you ever had to call 911 (or whatever emergency system your town has if you don't have 911)? If so, what for?

Yup. I called the rescue squad when Beast blew out his back. And I've called twice in the past 6 months: once when I wrecked my truck, and once when we happened upon a dangerous situation on our way to church in February or March in a blizzard.

6) You and your significant other are out on a date at a fancy restaurant. The waitress brings your bill, and it's $75, but you notice that the waitress forgot to add the $16 dessert that you ordered to the bill. Do you go ahead and just pay the $75 or be honest and say that she forgot to add in the dessert?

I'm unlikely to notice, to be honest. I just pay what's on the check. I know, I know: bad me.

7) Are you a "fix-it-yourself" or a "call-somebody-to-fix-it" type of person?

I call Beast. Otherwise, it sort of depends: some things I can fix myself, some I can't...and a LOT I simply won't.

8) HeroBuilders.com, a company that produces many political themed dolls has released now-ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner dolls -- one has anatomically correct genitals while the other has the freakish no-genitals look. Both are dressed in a gym shirt and shorts with a label that reads "Tweet This." If a company made a doll in your likeness, would you want it to be anatomically correct or not?

I'd rather eat nails than have a doll 'in my likeness' regardless of the genitalia it was built with.

9) If you found an unmarked suitcase full of cash in the middle of the street, what would you do?

I'd probably call the police and turn it in. It's in the middle of the street: what are the odds that no one saw me steal it, eh?

10) It's the middle of the night and you start getting text messages from an unknown number. The first says, "Hey sexy. Im thinkin about you. Whatcha wearin?" When you don't respond, several texts follow. Do you 1) shut off your phone, 2) text back saying they have the wrong number, or 3) play along for a bit and screw with the person?

Shut off the phone. I'm trying to sleep here. If people I actually know want to reach me, they'll call the house!