The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
The Full Course Meal

1. I am not a side dish--i am the full course meal!!!

It's just too bad I'm on a diet, isn't it?

2. I do not want the kind of love I can live with, I want the kind of love I can't live without.

The stakes are high. Personally, all I really want is air, water, food, shelter and clothes. Maybe some books. I don't think I've ever come across anyone without whom I couldn't live.

3. I love to be outdoors doing things from hunting to biking to riding a motorcycle to walking on a hillside to swimming in a pond to watching a polo match.

All at the same time?? Wow, you're too much man for me. I just got very tired.

4. I believe if you meet someone on a date and you are not attracted to each other then there is no point in continuing to date.

And I take it one step further: if I'm not attracted I don't go out on a FIRST date. (How does this "meet[ing] someone on a date" thing work, anyway? Do you go on blind dates that often?)

5. I have been viewed as a perfectionist, but what I believe in is when you do something, make sure you do it right!!

I'm headed right out the door now.

6. I am looking for someone who is half as happy to see me as my dogs.

Only half? My kind of person: aim low, keep those expectations appropriate!

7. Liars and cheaters will not be tolerated!

OK, I'm guessing you're either a cop or a teacher. This is phrased like something you'd see posted in a school hallway, or a police station.

8. I am in need of some down time.

Let me translate: I am a lazy butt and won't be bothered to do the slightest thing to help any relationship I get into.

9. I wanna be with someone who is better that the last relationship. The sex was not two good.

I think I have a headache. Forever.

10. You smile even when soaked on a wet day.

That's because of the meds, dear. Inside I'm furious.