The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
That's Not What Happens

1. I must say though I've meet some that on their profile they say "Wanting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP" and for some reason or another that's not what happens!

I'm absolutely CERTAIN that this has NOTHING whatsoever to do with YOU, either, right?

2. I believe that all happens for a reason and that reason may not be for us to understand, just to accept.

Tripe. Pure, unadulterated tripe. Have you ever had an original thought in your life?

3. I can drive a truck, tractor, build a fence, work on my truck, rope steers, ride my horse in competiton and can dress up to go out with you out on a Saturday night.

"I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never never let you forget you're a man..." Actually, I shouldn't assume this was written by a man, should I?
To be honest (really and truly), I'd probably at least look at more of this profile if I came across it. If I were single.

4. I'm independent, yet needy.

So....? You're homeless?

5. My partner should be loyal, hardworking and confident. Hope I'm not asking for too much.

It might be better to cut to the chase and date a collie.

6. Please No headcases, NO Liars, cheats, NOT married or exes drama. Just sincere and HONEST people please....

Wow, way to limit things! You want people to respond! Hah! I would think that this sort of ad would be an interesting sociological experiment in seeing how many people who have one or all of those types of personalities respond to this. It's basically CALLING them, isn't it?

7. Weekend in Vegas and having it totally comp'd is awesome, going to an African wedding in Kenya was a blast, tango'ng in Argentina was an experience, and swimming with sharks in Belize was an adrelaine rush.

OK. Let's discuss the classes you missed in school where the rest of the kids learned how to add "-ed" and "-ing" to words. On second thought, let's not. I would rather talk to your tango partner. (By the way, wouldn't it, by definition, be "an African wedding" if it took place in Kenya...being as how Kenya is in Africa?)

8. I do believe that you can not understand the true spirit of a person by the means of email.

Oh, dude, I so can. You have no idea.

9. What I am particularly into right now is purchasing older homes, restoring them and renting them.

Cool. I need a second job.

10. Attraction dictates passion, passion allows understanding, and understanding initiates compromise.

"Passion allows understanding"? Really? I wish life were really this mathematical.