The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
Good Vibrations
This is a bit different than an "answer this question" meme. Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do.

1. I try to be natural, positive and optimistic, never give up and always look into the future with hope and good vibration.

Hi, Brian. How's things by you? Glad you're trying to get your life together, but really, couldn't the rest of the Beach Boys introduce you to some women?

2. Good sense of fine humor. - Inspiring character. - Creative bent of mind. - Fun to be with. - Good dresser and great dancer. - Confident. - Love the finer things of life. - Caring.

That first sentence worries me; what is "fine humor" precisely? And why, why, include "confident"? And "caring" is last?? Wow. Although I'm vaguely intrigued...for the first time.

3. I'm not looking at the current time, just enjoying the site and people.

So how are you managing to enjoy the site and people without looking?? Is your computer Braille?

4. Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional.

And you've done one, but not the other. I'll let you guess which one is which. Bye.

5. I believe that I am drug and disease free (and so I expect the same).

You believe? Well, I believe I am unlikely to die of a heart attack tomorrow, but gee, things do happen sometimes. You are a freakin' creepazoid.

6. I am but a simple person with a simple needs. I am looking for somebody whom I can get along with and anybody who will accept me simply the way I am.

Obviously, you have misplaced the location of all those "simple/simply" words. The last bit should probably read "...accept me the way I am: simple."

7. Love is when you feel like you are on a cloud and floating !!!!

No, that's pot. Or sometimes acid.

8. Well I am not perfect, which of us are?

Just to prove it, you show that you have only a faint grasp of punctuation and grammar. At this point in my life, I don't need to be reminded of how imperfect the world is; I'm aware of that.

9. I like to go out (but its not the be all or end all) as long as I can have a drink.

{chuckle} So I'm the designated driver? OK, then. As long as the rules are clear.

10. Hi im nice normal easy going, who enjoys the odd battle of witts!

This will be like fighting a wheelchair-bound 90-year old with a broadsword and crossbow: completely one-sided. You may be everything in the first sentence, but there's no way I want to discuss battles with anyone on a dating website.