The Dating Profile Meme

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Early Exit

This is a bit different than an "answer this question" meme. Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do.

1. I will be gone from here in one month. And not a moment too soon!

2. I'd love to go to the Kentucky Derby, Travel to Europe, and Hike the Grand Canyon. Maybe we should start small and consider hiking to World Market and see how that goes. Then we can progress to seeing "Deliverence" at our next meetup.

3. I am not a liar and do not want to be lied to. OK, then, here we go: you're ugly. And your mama dresses you funny. ... What? You said you don't like lies.

4. I dream about raising kids who choose right over wrong, who find happiness and who are self-supporting. I have news for you: kids don't do ANY of those things for basically 25 years after conception. If then.

5. hello, i am looking to find someone who is honest funny and sinsitive to others needs ive been living alone for a long time and still wonder if you is out there ,getting tierd of doing it alone ,are u my squeeze? No. Dear God, find a fucking English usage guide and memorize it!!! Do not, I repeat DO NOT, squeeze anything but toothpaste until you know what an apostrophe is!

6. There is probable not a lot of things I don't or will not do. Statistically speaking.

7. We are on here to meet someone so don't hide. I could go on and on... I think your first sentence is probably a good stopping place, but just to be clear: I'm not hiding, I'm just ignoring you.

8. Ultimately I would prefer someone that has no children or only one. "Ultimately"? Really. So you're willing to impregnate someone, or get pregnant, but ONLY once? At most? OK, got it. I'll post an alert.

9. I pride myself in my appearance but i am not high maintness. Just high mattresses, like "The Princess and the Pea." Except without the pea. Cuz, you know, I could live with corn or okra too. If you're out of peas.

10. I'd like to find someone who can teach me new things and try new things to. Sweetheart, you aren't getting close enough to me to try ANYthing. But I can work on teaching you the rules about to/too/two. If you want. Y'know, because otherwise your introduction makes no sense.