Saturday 8

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Get Your Move on (June 9)

1. do you have an exercise routine currently?

Nope. I'm a total slacker.

2. what's the most amount of money per month that you would pay for a gym?

I pay about $30 (I think) now, and I don't use it, because ... see answer above.

3. have you ever been unable to exercise, for instance, due to an injury, lack of funds or time, etc.?

Time. That's my problem. I spend too much time with the laptop and not enough at anything that burns calories.

4. have you ever had a friend or family member that exercised TOO much, to the point that they were anorexic (or very, very close)?

No, but I worked with someone who was anorexic, and ran about 15 miles a day. She was well into her 30s at this stage.

5. have you ever exercised too much, to the point where it was unhealthy?

No, I'm happy to say that this is not an issue I will probably ever need to worry about.

6. have you ever had a negative experience at a gym (with other patrons, equipment, trainer) or with the gym themselves (billing, closings, etc.)?

Nothing personal, just the general over-testosteroned show-boys. NOT guys who work out, do their stuff and move along, but the ones who are only there for two reasons: 1) find a date, or 2) preen.

7. one form of exercise that seems bizarre to me is spinning as i cannot understand sitting on a stationary bike for an hour with some little skinny bitch screaming at you from HER stationary bike. what form of exercise do you not 'get' or would never try because it seems too weird to you?

Well, that one sounds fucking miserable! I won't attend any class during which I'm made to feel stupid. This, obviously then, excludes anything that requires coordination: Jazzercise, aerobics.... The last exercise class I took was primarily a Pilates/yoga stretching class but the teacher was way cool--in spite of being gorgeous, blond and thin--had wonderful music tapes and didn't care if we flopped around like beached whales laughing our asses off. We all talked throughout the class, too. It ruined me for 'real yoga', I'm afraid. I 'get' that yoga is not just exercise for the body, but also exercise for the mind and a tool for meditation. However, I prefer to have fun exercising; I like stretching better than sweating, though, so my choices are limited.

8. if you had two free, dedicated hours each day to do something athletic that would NOT take away from work, friends, or family time, and the unlimited funds to do it, what type of exercise would you do daily? lipo, by the way, does not count... ;)

Stretching, see above. I'd really love to learn to do some kind of cardio, but I really do live in fear of Skinny Bitch Teachers. A personal trainer would be wonderful!

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Heartfelt Sentiments (June 16)

Del, I love you, but you really need to stop holding a grudge against Katherine without explaining it to her because it's childish and puts us the rest of us in a bad situation with her.

M.H., I don't know if I could ever thank you enough for your continued interest and knowledge about Katherine's health issues. It really means a lot to me because you are the only person who ever asks.

Cat., when are you going to finally pick a time to go shopping with Amy. You have been promising [her] for WEEKS and I think we should finally move forward with your promise and do just get it done!

Sparky, I am sorry that I come down on you so hard and so often. I only [do] it because I get frustrated with your apparent unwillingness to pay attention.

Laura, I think I want you to know that I'm really annoyed with you, more annoyed than I think I ever have been in 35 years. I would have told you before but couldn't because you bailed on me while I was in Colorado in March after promising to get together the day before.

Molly, you are my favorite almost-aunt because you say such sensible things.

Mom, I owe you multiple apologies because I haven't called in eons. (and for a lot of other reasons, too)

J.W., you probably have NO idea, but I really find you attractive! I really love your self-deprecating humor and the strength of your faith...and your shoulders, but I cannot tell you because we're both married and I'd have to kill you, or leave the community, our church, and my husband.