Four for Friday

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THE DEATH EDITION

Q1 - Remembrances: Given the choice, what would your headstone look like and what would it say?

I'm being cremated after all usable body parts are removed. Headstone? It's up to anyone who's left to care, but I swear I will haunt anyone who puts any kind of cheesy or saccharine shit on any kind of memorial to me.

Q2 - Your Call: What do you think would be the best and worst ways to die?

I'm with George Carlin on the best way to go: Get on line at a faith healer and when he's ready to heal me shout, "May God strike me dead if you aren't for real." [paraphrased] As for the worst way, any other way is bad. I'm not ready to go yet.

Q3 - Better off Dead or Alive: Jerry Falwell?

Depends on how strongly you believe in heaven and divine intercession. The rest of us are better off with him dead rather than alive shooting his mouth off. In my opinion.

Q4 - Sphere of Influence: What dead person has influenced your life the most?

My sister Ellen. She nearly died when I was 3. And she did die when I was 30. There is a real sense of gratitude in having the opportunity to know her, and she lived those extra 27 years fully. I don't know why she's so on my mind lately, either.