Chooseday

Yes, of course it's late. Bob's having a week like my day!

Would you rather:

1. lose your eyesight OR all your friends?

My friends. Though losing my vision would certainly suck.

2. wake up after a huge party and find your anus super-glued together OR be naked in bed with three complete strangers of the same sex and find Polaroids with you in various, compromising positions?

I could get treatment for the former; the latter would mean I'd have to move to Pluto.

3. speak very eloquently, but always give long, drawn-out responses to people OR speak short, to-the-point sentences that end with a "grunt"?

So basically it's a choice between "female" and "male" here, right? [hee hee hee]
I'll stick with the current arrangement and say long, eloquent...blahblahblah.

4. wear an Abe Lincoln disguise, complete with top hat, EVERYWHERE you go OR a Groucho Marx disguise?

Lincoln, for assorted reasons, one of which involves height and general demeanor.