"Shut up, Grandpa!"

(Found here)
[I have no idea what the title means...]

Q: WHAT MADE YOU SMILE YESTERDAY?
A: ....yesterday....hmm....I'm sure there was something at church, but I laughed a lot at the party in the afternoon.

Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 8 THIS MORNING?
A: Calling in sick to my volunteer job.


Q: WHAT WERE YOU DOING 15 MINUTES AGO?
A: Putting away the ironing board et al. and the freshly flattened clothes.


Q: LAST THING YOU SAID ALOUD?
A: It was repeating Sparky's homework status to Beast.


Q: HOW MANY DIFFERENT THINGS DID YOU DRINK TODAY?
A: Two, unless two varieties of Dr. Pepper count as two drinks, in which case...3.

Q: WHERE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND RIGHT NOW?
A: I'd bet on home on all of them. One has a small child, one I know is home, and one is home cuz Minnesota football is on TV.

Q: HAVE YOU EVER MADE UP YOUR OWN LANGUAGE?
A: Yup.

Q: ARE YOU A STRIPPER?
A: I change clothes, which involves stripping. But only for my own enjoyment. (ha ha ha)

Q: DO YOU CALL PEOPLE MONKEYS?
A: Only children.

Q: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR TOOTHBRUSH?
A: White and ?purple.


Q: WHAT IS OUT YOUR BACK DOOR?
A: ...the backyard?


Q: LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A: Nachos at the football game.

Q: LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
A: That was almost 10 months ago. I have no idea, though I'm sure I got at least one gift card.

Q: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FRONT DOOR?
A: Tan.

Q: WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR CHANGE?
A: My wallet.

Q: WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE TODAY?
A: It's been sunny for the last couple of days, YAY!

Q: BEST ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
A: Peppermint.

Q: LAST RAINBOW YOU SAW?
A: Haven't seen one in awhile.

Q: DO YOU HAVE ANY SISTER(S)?
A: There were 4 girls and 1 boy in my generation.

Q: ARE YOU OVER THE AGE OF 25?
A: Ayup. In fact, it's vaguely possible that I could have had a kid over 25.

Q: DO YOU TALK A LOT?
A: Probably.

Q: DO YOU WATCH THE OC?
A: Like I'd admit it! :-) And, no, anyway.

Q: DO YOU KNOW ANYONE CALLED VALDO?
A: Hmmm, no.

Q: ARE YOU TICKLISH?
A: Sometimes.

Q: ARE YOU TYPICALLY A JEALOUS PERSON?
A: Not particularly.

Q: NAME SOMEBODY YOU KNOW WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH THE LETTER A:
A: I know 4 Annes.

Q: DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
A: No.

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A: Tuna melt. It may have been an error in judgment; my stomach is cranky again.

Q: DO YOU WATCH TV?
A: Yup.

Q: HAVE YOU SEEN THE TV SHOW EVERYONE LOVES VALDO?
A: No.

Q: DO YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW?
A: Yup.

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING?
A: No. I would suck at it.

Q: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
A: Wellllll....it's definitely in my present....so probably.


Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
A: About an hour ago when Sparky first went up to work on homework and then to bed.

Q: DO YOU THINK THE PERSON WHO SAID IT TO YOU OR BACK TO YOU MEANT IT?
A: Somewhere deep inside, I'm positive that he does.

Q: YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
A: Not IRL. Unless you seriously count "Mom."

Q: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
A: I believe it happens, yes.

Q: ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
A: Not since February 1993.

Q: ARE YOU CURRENTLY DEPRESSED?
A: Not as much as I was last week with the clouds and the meh.

Q: DO YOU THINK ANYONE MISSES YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: Mostly, no.

+++++++++++++++++++++++
What was your love life like a year ago?
I'm married 23 years this summer. You figure it out.

Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad?
Regularly.

Hook-up or the whole relationship thing?
The older I get, the more I understand the attraction (no pun intended) of hooking up.

Who is your closest friend of the opposite sex?
My husband, sort of by default.

Last person to make you smile?
Beast.

Who can you blame for your bad mood today?
Myself, for eating too much yesterday.

What was the last song you listened to?
No clue whatsoever: Beast picks the radio stations in his car and I mostly try to ignore it.

Name one person who is the most like you?
My oldest sister?

What would you do if your best friend moved?
Most of my best friends don't live real close by anyway, but I'd be sad if they moved further away.

What is something you really want right now?
Pleasant, uncranky people in my house.

What are you doing this coming weekend?
Working two days, going to two high school football games (alone?) and maybe shopping or at least spending some time with Amy?

Do you have any fun plans for today?
I'm going to sleep pretty soon; that'll be lovely at this point. CrankyButt across the room is pissing me off.

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?
Well, yeahhhh!

Last person who held your hand?
Sparky, at church yesterday. He hated it.

What are you listening to at the moment?
Preseason football.

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
Longer is better.

Do you want to cut your hair?
No, I hire it out.

Are you in a good mood? If yes, Why?
I would be in a decent mood if I were alone in the house.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
Right now.
OK, seriously, I really wouldn't punch anyone, but I talk about it on a regular basis.

Do you think your ex still likes you?
I'm sure he never thinks about me.

What is wrong with you right now?
My G.I. tract is fubar.

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?
...probably NOT the best question to ask me right now...

Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
...plead the 5th.

Would you kiss an ugly person for $1,000?
Well, not if they knew the only reason I was kissing them was for the money. I'm really not heartless.

Has someone close to you passed away this year?
At least two someones. It's been a rough summer.

Do you watch "The Hills"?
I'd rather watch professional basketball. And, trust me, I never watch basketball!

Last CD you played?
A Melissa Etheridge disc in the car yesterday.

What are you thinking about right now?
Wishing I could go on vacation.

Wearing any bracelets?
No. I don't even think I own any.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
I think I was asleep.

Have you ever gone to a beach?
Yup.

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
Still peppermint.

How long does it take you to get ready?
For what? In the morning, anywhere from 20 to 90 minutes.

What are you wearing?
Sparky's school booster T and jeans.

When was the last time you smiled?
Well over half an hour ago.

What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
Be less empathetic.

What is your ideal marriage location?
Marriage? Or do you mean wedding? Marriage should be a mutually agreed-upon location. Wedding should be church/synagogue/mosque/someplace meaningful.

Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
I'd like to relearn piano.

Something you love and hate?
My dear, wonderful, asshatted husband.

What kind of soap do you use?
Dial. Or Dove.

Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
Not.

What's the one language you want to learn?
Classical Greek.

What do you order at a bar?
Something involving Stoli.

Do you have tattoos?
Nope, just scars.

Do you drive stick?
I do.

What's one trait you hate in a person?
Willful ignorance.

What do you cook the best?
Mac 'n cheese.

Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Blending in is so much easier.

Do you have anything monogrammed?
Nope.

Have you ever done drugs?
Only those prescribed for whatever conditions I was treating.

If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Make sure they called the right house.

Burial or cremation?
Cremation.

What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
Political discussions.

If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
I just try not to talk to people who annoy the shit out of me.

How many drinks before you're tipsy?
One.
I don't drink much, or often, anymore....

Favorite kind of porn?
My imagination. I don't really care for other people's fantasies.

Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
Uhhh....it's not something I generally do, so....

What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
Oh, hell, I dunno!

What's one thing you like to do alone?
EVERYTHING! Well, ok, not really, but most things. I have a bit of an independent streak.

What's the worst thing you ever said to someone?
I'm refusing to incriminate myself here!

Are you a giver or a taker?
More of a giver, but I can be randomly selfish and takey too.

Favorite communication method?
Written.

What is one thing you don't leave home without?
Clothes.

Are you good at Sudoku?
Yes.

What's your favorite kind of popcorn: caramel, cheese, or regular?
Don't like sweet, but do like regular and cheesy.

If you have a cell phone, do you still have the instruction manual to it?
Seeing as how I got it less than 3 weeks ago, yes.

Do you believe truly that blood is thicker than water?
Not in my experience, except in very literal terms.

Do you think that somebody can be too young to be in love?
Nope.

Are there any events in your past that you are uncomfortable talking about?
Yes. I really don't want to meet anyone who answers this "no."

Do you think true love has anything to do with gender?
Do I think men can love men and women love women? Yes.

Name one person you would die for no matter what?
Sparky.

Your ex said they dislike you, what would you say?
Glad I made enough of an impression on you that you still remember me!

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Normally, I'd say Beast, but not today.

Do you curse in front of your parents?
I tried not to when they were alive.

Are you happy with life?
Some days it's wonderful.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Nope. I'm original.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Abso-rute-ly

Was this weekend a good one?
It was ok.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Of course.

Who's the last person you rode in a car with that was under 21 and driving?
Sparky.

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Still not.

Is there someone you wanna date right now?
Yup.

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
My childhood. If we're talking time-machine travel then I'd want to visit my grandparents when they were first married.

You're stuck on an elevator with the person you fell the hardest for, what happens?
....hmmm....if we met up now, probably nothing at all.

Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yes.

Do you enjoy piercings & tattoos?
I can appreciate some tattoos if they are artfully done, and I don't mind piercings up to a point. The point itself varies.

You're a sharpie marker, what color are you?
Only black sharpies count.

Would you ever date your number 2?
I don't use MySpace.

Do you remember your first real relationship?
I'm not yet in my dotage, so yeah.

Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'?
Yes.

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Yes.

Do you take walks often?
Not often enough.

Would you call yourself smart?
I am smart, though sometimes it's hard to see through the dense goofiness.

Do you like to read?
...er, yeah...

What did you do for your last birthday?
I have no memory of last year's birthday.

What's your favorite season?
Early- to mid-autumn.

Looking forward to something this weekend?
Yes.

Is good grammar attractive?
Let's put it this way: bad grammar is NOT attractive.

Are you jealous of one or more of your friends?
I'm a little envious of some aspects of their lives at times.

Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
I've known Laura since we were about 6.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
Yup.

Do you think abortions are horrible?
I think there are worse choices.

Who was the last person that said "I love you" to you?
Still Sparky when he went upstairs.