you can't be missed if you never go away

(Found here)

Which state do you consider to be the most boring state? Well, there's boring to drive in, and there's boring to BE in. I wasn't thrilled with what Kansas had to offer me in terms of roads last summer. Wyoming is horrible. So is Nevada. And of course, Illinois.

If any chef from the Food Network could cater your wedding, who would it be? I don't watch the Food Network. Honestly, I'd rather just go to a good bar with friends.

What's the last thing you ate that was red? I had ketchup on my brat. Heresy, I know. I know.

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Not for a few decades. lol

Have you ever lost a best friend after a fight? Well, yeah. However, over the years I've discovered that most friendships end from inertia and lack of cultivation.

Have you ever washed an iPod or mp3 player in the washing machine? Nope. Which is probably only an indication of how little I use it.

Have you ever screamed / yelled angrily at a teacher? Not out loud, though I did some straight talk in class with a grad school prof.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Crying doesn't make me tired in the least. However, I'd be surprised if this didn't happen a few times when I was a baby.

Have you ever regretted being in a relationship with someone? This is another one of those surveys written by a 15-year-old, isn't it? Yes. Anyone over the age of, oh, 15 has to answer this yes if they're being truthful. At least in the sense of "what was I thinking?!" about a relationship.

Have you ever acted like you understood something when you didn't? Not as much now as I did when I was younger.

Have you ever thought someone must have been insane? I work in public service. I think about 35% of the population is insane at least some of the time.

Have you ever pretended to be older than what you are? Not anymore. Not for almost 30 years, in fact.

Have you ever cried because you were turned down? Nothing feels like rejection, eh? So, yeah. But again, not for a long time. Mostly now I just don't care.

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? As in "oh my God, could I be pregnant??"--yes. As in "oh my God, is something wrong with the baby??--yes. (there wasn't)

Have you ever pretended to like someone when you didn't? Of course. It's called politics at work.

Have you ever stolen money from one of your parents? "Stolen" is such an ugly word. And no. I feared that my mom would have used the Hammurabi code on me.

When did you last see a movie in theaters? I'm pretty sure the last one was the latest Star Trek.

When was the last time you kissed someone on the lips? About an hour ago.

When was the last time you baked / cooked something? Does reheating that brat count? Or heating up a breakfast sandwich yesterday morning? Otherwise, it was Thursday night when I made spaghetti and meatballs.

When was the last time you danced like a crazy person? Possibly today, if car dancing counts. If not, sometime earlier this week. It involved being at home after being gone.

When was the last time you just wanted to be invisible? Most of the time I want to be invisible. Could've used this for most of the day yesterday at work, honestly.

When was the last time you got a gift you absolutely hated? I don't 'hate' gifts too often. I'm grateful I was gifted, even if it's something I'd never use in a million years.

When was the last time you got into a physical fight? Approximately 36 years. Unless you want to count some of the scuffles with Sparky during his worst teenage angsty moments.

When was the last time you had to sleep with a nightlight? I leave the light on for Beast every time I go to bed while he's still downstairs. And there's always a light on in the upstairs hall and in the dining room (and over the stove) at night. It's dark out here in the country, and I don't want to fall over furniture if I get up. No nightlights in my bedroom, not per se.

When was the last time you were under some serious stress? Yesterday. Work. Crying. Hasn't happened in months and months, despite the stress of the winter months, holidays and the death of my sister last summer.

When was the last time you watched your favorite movie? It's been years. I should buy it on DVD, in fact.

When was the last time you downloaded a song? Uhm, like.....NEVER! Dinosaur much?

What would you say is your favorite hobby? This. Or reading.

What is your favorite thing to do when you hang out with friends? Talk. Eat. Both at once. Laugh a lot. Drinking is ok too.

What would you rather do: shower or bath? I'd almost always rather take a bath, but the hair thing is more complicated then.

What is your absolute favorite dessert? The orgasmic tiramisu in Florence. Indescribable.

What can someone do to make you smile, no matter what? Giggle. REALLY giggle, not just laugh or chuckle. Giggling, in adults, is quite rare.

What do the majority of people think of you? I don't have a clue, but I suspect they're all slightly wrong. At least one person thinks I talk to her too much while she's working.

What was the last gift you bought someone for an occasion? Ellen and Spence got money. Before that...what DID we get Sparky for his birthday in February??

What is your favorite class in school? "IS??" There weren't too many classes that I didn't like, and most of those were 'required' courses in undergrad and grad school: English 101, Advertising, Reference, "Information Science" and Library Management were not exactly my cup of tea for varying reasons.

What is the color if your cell phone, if you have one? Red (and black).

What would you say was the most embarrassing moment of your life? Oh hell, there have been so many. Can't think of one that stands out, just the memory of horror.

Would you ever donate money to charity? I do, regularly.

Would you ever think about doing porn? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...that is not a giggle, it's a full on belly laugh.

Would you ever dump the person you're with for someone cuter? Nope.

Would you ever disown one of your relatives? If I could pick the person, absolutely. In a heartbeat, except it would break at least one person's heart.

Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you? No. I'd divorce him first.

Would you ever consider becoming a teacher? Yes. I have been a teacher, unpaid, over the years, but I wouldn't do it as a profession because of the dual specters of administrators and parents.

Would you ever give a hitch-hiker a ride somewhere? Nope.

Would you ever try fasting for a whole week? I think that would be ill-advised in the extreme for health reasons.

Would you ever try to quit one of your addictions? I would. I have tried, in fact.

Would you ever die your hair purple? "Ever" is awhile. I might.

Would you ever try being with a member of the same sex? As having sex with another woman? Jeez, could you be more retarded about wording? And no.

Would you ever kill yourself to save someone else? I might.

Would you ever spend $100 for the best tasting hamburger in the world? Hmmm, no. I'm pretty sure I can get it for MUCH cheaper.

Would you ever consider becoming a nun? I wouldn't mind doing a meditative retreat at a convent, but there's no way I'd convert and leave Beast.

Would you rather break up with someone or have them dump you? Break up.

Would you rather chew gum off the ground or kill a squirrel? Kill a squirrel. I hear they are quite tasty.

Would you rather eat chocolate or fruity candies? Wholly dependent on specifics here.

Would you rather listen to one CD forever or become deaf? Deaf. Oh yeah, one album forever is like hell.

Would you rather be deaf or blind? Deaf. See, this isn't all that frightening, since deafness runs in my family.

Would you rather have a turtle or a frog for a pet? Turtle. I think they're vaguely adorable.

Would you rather dye your hair green or blue? Blue is the more likely of the two.

Would you rather move schools [or] become home-schooled? I'm 47. Give me a fuckin' break here.

Would you rather text or talk on the phone? Text.

Would you rather spend a day with Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus? Miley. Gaga sorta scares me.

Would you rather learn to play piano or guitar? I already sorta know how to play piano, so guitar.

Would you rather have a stomach-ache or headache? Headache. Even though I already do have one.

Would you rather be overly interesting or overly dull? Overly DULL!

Would you rather be too loud or too quiet? Too loud. Apparently, though, I already am according to some.

Do you remember the first time you ever went into the ocean? Yup. Pacific Ocean in San Diego, age 14.

What Asian country would you like to visit the most? Why? Two months ago I would have grudgingly said Japan. I don't really want to go anywhere in Asia, and not Japan for sure right now, so...Singapore?

Have you ever thought that a passer-by was the one? Nope.

Ever told someone that your fake jewelery was really real? I'm much more likely to do the exact opposite.

Did you ever watch The Adventures of Alex Mack? Nope. Nickelodeon, right? I think Sparky might have watched it...or watched something on either side of it.

Who has the worst public restrooms? Stadiums tend to be horribly dirty and cavernous, though usually warm in the winter. Some gas station bathrooms just SUCK. The Frankfurt airport, though--wow, amazingly foul for a supposed First World country.

What did you use gel pens for? ...wriiii-tingggg...?

On what pages of the yearbook are you on? Really? No, REALLY? I'm in...let's see...11 yearbooks. Go to hell.

What country music star should be honored in the Hall of Fame? I don't know who is already in, but NOT TAYLOR SWIFT!!

Would you eat cat food for $500? Uhm. Well. I'd prefer not to. I think you'd have to pay me more than that.

Who is the last person you smelled? Beast. lol Thank GOD I'm married; how else would I answer this without sounding like a real perv.

Do you like going to the dentist? Well, I don't mind, except for the harassment over flossing and those times when I'm having major work done. I can totally think of way worse things. Ever been to the gynecologist?

Have you ever smelled a dairy farm? I've fuckin' BEEN ON A DAIRY FARM! Lived on one, briefly (very briefly). Wow, the person who wrote this is a moron.

Name a song that got overplayed really fast. Anything Top-40. Well, maybe more like anything Top-20.

Have you ever had an ultrasound? Uh, yeah. It's pretty hard to hit 47, having had a child and other life events, in this country without at least one. Guess what: I've had (gasp!) X-RAYS too. {eyeroll}

Do you shop at Payless? Not so much. We did when Sparky was little--he went through shoes like he went through carrots.

What Friends character are you most like? If I'm EVER very much like ANY of them, please shoot me. I just watched a couple of episodes on the flight last week and after two, I had to stop. The ONLY one who doesn't annoy me is Phoebe.

When's the last time you had a popsicle? Wow. A few years, at least.