The Dating Profile Meme

(Link in meme-roll)
Fresh Air
We scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person's profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles.

1. I consider myself a "breath of fresh air", not materialistic or fakey in any shape or form.

Mmm, fresh, like Febreze? Cooooo.... I love that smell!

2. I’m just looking for someone to enjoy & share life with.....any takers??!

I think you can be guaranteed that you will indeed find puh-LENty of takers on a dating site. They may not limit themselves to what you actually have on offer, however.

3. I try to see the world as still viable, and valid.

...but really it's not. Oh, stop lying; we all know you're just too cool for school, Mr. Intelligentsia.

4. Seeking a partner that loves the mind as the true sexual, and emotional component of the human condition, hungers for a partner that can match me vibe 4 vibe.

Preferably someone who doesn't have a clue about speaking intelligible English.

5. I need and desire a mate that will challenge my mind, make me laugh, and stir my heart in a blender of complex yet simple moves.

Y'know, when I see "mate" I think horses, cockroaches, and spiders. Not exactly "heart-stirring," at least not in the sense I think you may mean. "Heart in a blender" sounds really CSI-ish, too. OK, so just generally: YUCK.

6. Talk 2 me,not at me. I will listen to u, not through u.

I'd like to buy a consonant, please. ANY consonant will do. OK, thanks. What were you saying? I'm sure it was enthral ... SQUIRREL!

7. I am not afraid of the word need!!!

Me either!!!! Then again, I don't read the news; should I be afraid of it? OK, now I'm worried. I need to go find a newspaper. BYE!

8. my hobbies are hanging out wachin movies socially drink alittle but love someun that is pacinate abt what they wants.

{{facepalm}} I yam pacinate abot spelig. Wer u macth mad n hevun.

9. This is only the beginning.

VERY good! Next comes the middle. And then ... voilà ... The End! Whee. Next week we'll cover transitions between those parts.

10. I love to laugh. I have saying either laugh or get mad.

And by any chance are you quite pale with VERY red lips, and go by the name "Joker"?